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  • I'm 14 and I need to get out of my house.

    My family has a lot of history. And each person has a lot of history. I feel like I'm not allowed to get mad or sad. If they do the call me ungrateful, worthless, useless, ect... I mostly want to get away from my parents and older brother. They abuse me. Verbally and sometimes physically. Yesterday I was supposed to go somewhere. I asked my mom to buy me a dress to take to the somewhere. She did. She did but the whole time she was complaining how us kids (there's 4 of us) never help around the house. I like to say that I try to help as much as I can. She kept on going so I decided to help her clean. And so did my other siblings. We were each in charge of a room in the house. No one else cleaned where they had to. So I personally felt responsible for it not looking like we cleaned it. I ended up not going to the party so my mom called me dramatic and stupid for not going. Later that day after I had been cleaning and crying my mom knocked on my door and asked if I still wanted to go. I said no. I had spent all morning after I cleaned my room getting ready. All that crying obviously ruined everything I did. She got mad and closed the door in my face. She said it was no ones fault but mine for crying. When my mom talks to me I don't like to talk back so most of the time I don't explain anything. This has happened so many times I can't take it. I cant hide my emotions in fear of being judged. I've been suicidal for years. She knows this. She's seen my self harming scars. I've asked for help. I haven't gotten any. So I'm asking for help now. Is there anywhere I could go to get away from home? To get help? But get help where my family doesn't have to be involved in setting this up. Because if I ask to set this up they'll just do it half way and not finish it like always. I just need someone to get me out of here. Like a foster home or a rehab I don't care I just want to get away. Please help.

  • #2
    RE:I'm 14 and I need to get out of my house.

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us and sharing. It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation at home. We are so sorry to hear that your family is abusive. You do not deserve to be abused in any way. You are entitled to feel and express your emotions, and it is normal and ok to cry sometimes. We are sorry to hear that your family says such terrible, hurtful things for you and expects you to never express your feelings. That sounds very difficult. You mentioned that you are suicidal and that you have scars from self harm. If you are thinking about suicide, the National Suicide Hotline might be a great resource for you. You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or check them out at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. It sounds like you are hoping to find somewhere you can go to be away from your family. It is understandable that you are hoping to move out. We have lots of resources for shelters, however you should know that as long as you are under 18 any agency, shelter, foster home or rehab would have to get in touch with your legal guardian. You have a right to report that you are being abused to Child Protective Services, and they might do an investigation and put you in foster care if they find that it is unsafe for you at home. Another option to get help is to reach out to someone at your school, like a counselor or a teacher you trust, to see if they can help you get someone to talk to. You can also call us any time 24/7 and we can talk through all your options and come up with a plan to deal with your situation and stay safe. It takes so much strength to reach out for help-, and it was smart of you to contact us. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I hear that and I understand that my legal guardians need to get involved. I just don't want to be at home when they do. CPS has come to my house before as j did go to a counselor and talk a little about my situation at home. Like I said this has has been a harmful situation since I can remember. CPS just told them they'd keep an eye on us because my situation to them wasn't that serious. I was younger and they thought I was exaggerating the stories as did my family and they told them that. My mom told CPS she'd find me help from the list of psychologists CPS gave my mother. Again, she does things halfway and doesn't go through with them. I just want to leave. I'll leave find somewhere and let my parents know that I'm safe and fine and getting help that they haven't given me. If I wanted to could I call CPS, and tell them i don't want to be here? I'd tell them the Gus of my situation and do you think it's enough for three to take me out of here? Do you think COS can give me help and not leave it upto my parents? I'm desperate here.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Re: I'm 14 and I need to get out of my house.

        Thanks for reaching back out to us at NRS. It sounds like you’re going through a lot and are really working to explore your options for staying safe and getting the support you need. So it sounds like you’re concerned that if you reached out to CPS again, your mom would only follow up with any recommendations “half-way,” and you’re really hoping to get out of the home completely to ensure you connect to the resources you need. If you do decide to make a report, this is important information for the worker to know, especially with your history of previous reports. Your mom’s inability to support connecting you with services could be important to how they follow up. It sounds like not being home when CPS comes to follow up is important to you. Though CPS won’t make the decision of what happens up to your parents, they will likely interview them as they’re making their decision. You may consider reaching out to National Safe Place via their Text-4-help line: http://nationalsafeplace.org/. Just text “SAFE” and your location to 69866, and they’ll connect you with the closest safe place for youth in crisis. Depending on the closest service to you, the crisis worker may be able to support you in person with filing the report and connecting to resources.
        If you’d like to talk through other options (other safe places you might go if you were to run away from home, potential consequences of running away, etc.), please don’t hesitate to call or chat us so we can talk through your plan in more detail. You’ve been so brave to reach out, and we hope we can be of more help in the future. We’re here for you 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or via our chat service as well. Stay strong!

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I am 13 and i love my mom but she has huge mood swings I am 13 and need help what do I do

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear that your mom has huge mood swings. It sounds like you really care about her. You could try contacting an adult that you trust such as another family member or school counselor to help you. Here at NRS, we offer conference calls between youth and their parents. This could be an opportunity for you to discuss with your mom how you really feel. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) , email, or live chat if you have any other questions or just want to talk.


            We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
            NRS

        • #6
          i am 13, gay, and my parents are always harassing me for it. Last night they called me an embarrassment to the family because im gay. What do it do, i want to live with my cousins that i know for sure they will accept me for me, but my parents will say no...what do i do?

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey,

            Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and your parents are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

            We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. You are 100% NOT an embarrassment, if anything, the way your parents have acted towards you is embarrassing. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

            You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. You mentioned that you have a place to stay, with your cousins, if you did leave home. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parents will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so. If you want to try to stay at a runaway shelter instead of the person you were mentioning, we’re always here to find one for you in your area.

            While we’re not law experts, there may be legal ways for you to be able to move out of your house, either through emancipation, or maybe the legal aid resource know about other options. We’re here to look for legal aid resources if you’d like to explore that option more.

            If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

            Stay Strong,
            NRS

        • #7
          I can't stand my parents anymore. My grades haven't been doing good lately and I have been trying to slip it under the rug to not start any fights, but today she saw everything. She got so mad she pulled my hair and grabbed my shirt. I almost thought she was going to choke me. I don't know how to deal with anyone in my family anymore since i am always the disappointment. i have diabetes also, which for anyone, is a very life changing thing. I have been working out so much trying to keep my blood sugars under control, and so far i have seen big improvements. My mom of course thinks i do nothing around the house, and i try to help as much as i can, but nothing i do seems to be right. I just want to get out of this house so bad. I have a friend that i can stay with, and im all packed with all my clothes in a large bag. I just want to be happy and not feel like i have to isolate myself in the house to be happy. I wish they would just kick me out already so i can happily walk away from this place. i wish they would understand how difficult school can be, and they should know that i am doing all of this by myself. I get absolutely no support from them, and i feel like sometimes they dont understand that diabetes is hard to manage too. I get that it is my fault for getting bad grades but they havent helped me at all this year. If they want to judge me, fine but not when im in this house. They took away my phone, my car, and pretty much all priviledges. Im surprised they didnt take away food. I honestly never want to see them again because of how livid i am with the way they raise and treat me. All they do is abuse me like im some toy they can mess around with. Someone please help me.

          Comment


          • ccsmod11
            ccsmod11 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for messaging the National Runaway Safelilne! It sounds like you have been going through a lot and it was very brave of you to reach out for help. Trying to balance school and medical problems can be extremely difficult and it sounds like you have been doing everything you can to take care of yourself. No one has the right to hurt you and you absolutely have the right to be safe in your home. Have you been able to talk to anyone about how she has treated you? You always have the right to contact the police and file an abuse report with the local Child Protective Services agency.
            An unsupportive home environment can be extremely stressful and it sounds like your family has been acting in a very hurtful way towards you. Leaving home can be a very big decision to make. How do you think your family would react if you were to leave home? Often, before leaving home, people try to make a plan for necessities; for example where they will stay; how they will get food; who they could call in a case of an emergency.

            Also, while we are not legal experts here, we can talk in general about running away and runaway reporting. Any under the age of 18 is legally considered a minor which means their parent or legal guardian is responsible for them. If someone younger than 18 years old leaves home without permission, their guardian has the right to go to the police and file a runaway report. Being reported as a runway is not a criminal offense and does not go on your permanent record, it is a status offense. Typically, unless someone has been in trouble with the courts before or is already on probation, there are no legal consequences for running away. Some states do have laws about harboring a runway which apply to anyone over 18 who lets someone they know has been reported as a runway stay with them. Those laws and how the police enforce them can vary among states and even among counties. One way to find out how your local police handle youth who have runaway is to contact your local police; You can find the non-emergency phone number on www.USACOPS.com.

            We are very glad that you contacted the National Runaway Safeline tonight! If you ever need a safe place to talk, resources, or help working out a plan we are available 24/7 via 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and live chat on our website www.1800runaway.org.

        • #8
          I'm 14 my mom is dating a man who beats her and he scares me I don't really get through the lot I have a lot of clothes and not a good living environment though there's roaches there's rats there's insects there's maggots there's all sorts of stuff in my house bed bugs it's disgusting it's horrible I keep getting sick my mom doesn't have a car to getaway she's stuck she has no other house to live in she can't go to a shelter because she's got active charges that he put on her they won't let her in a shelter and I won't leave my mother's side but I can't stay there any longer I just don't want to end up in foster care and lose all my friends and lose everybody I've ever known I just need help

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear that your mom is dating someone that abuses her. Abuse is never okay and she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. If she does decide to leave, she will be accepted at a domestic violence shelter regardless of her charges. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) is a great resource that could help her come up with a safety plan. You mentioned that your home environment is full of insects and bugs. If you don't feel safe at home, you could contact CPS or the police. You may also want to consider asking your mom if she would allow you to stay with another family member or close friend. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat if you have any questions or just want to talk.

        • #9
          I nees to get out of my house!! Im 14, i live in a house of mom dad and sister. They let my sister go out wkith her boyfriend. Whike if i want to visit my friend they never let me! They get mad very easily. My sister aowmtimes does too. My dad had a rough time with my mom for a little whike but we got over with that. I just need to not be trapped in my house 24/7 always. I get bored. I get mad. I feel trapped as if im help hostage. Help me i want to leave but i dont know what to do.

          Comment


          • #10
            Hi there,

            Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave home and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your parents, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

            Best,

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #11
              My mom has us four kids living in an RV and they always yell, throw stuff, we can't wash out clothes or anything and I need to get out. This isn't even half of it but I'm serious .
              Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-03-2018, 02:36 AM.

              Comment


              • #12
                Reply: My mom has us four kids living in a rv

                Hello,
                Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

                We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
                We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

                Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
                If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
                We hope to hear from you soon.

                Take care,
                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #13
                  Hello, I'm posting this anonymously to save my indentity. I'm being emotionally abused by my parents, more specifically my mother. I have done things in the past most teenagers do and to this day she still brings it up. She constantly tells me she is going to beat the '******** out of me' one day, she has also told me things like "I wish I was never a mother" and "you make everything worse". She always screams at me and says it's just the way she talks, but she doesn't talk to other people like that. I found out she was doing drugs and is also mentally ill. I understand some behavior coming from that but she also doesn't treat me like a daughter. She's driven me to the point where I started being very disrespectful to the staff at my school and getting physical with other people. She tells my friends and other family members the things I've done. I have been rude in the past such as talking back and yelling back, but only because I'm getting agitated and fed up with the constant abuse. I come home everyday with her yelling at me or getting angry because I simply just want to live life, she tells me as well that I can come to her about anything. But when I express my depression and or school issues she gets angry and blames it on me. I've tried my best on school but ended up failing my 8th grade year because of the suicidal thoughts I had. I have a boyfriend and 3 amazing friends, they have been the only people to make me happy, I have attempted suicde and tried running away but was caught and yelled at for. I was still cutting myself 8th grade year and my mother called me 'emo' I just don't want anything to do with my family anymore. I'm super stressed out and I cry a lot because of the abuse I go through. I'm only 14 and I just wanna leave this home, please help me I can't file a report because I too scared. I wanna be taken into custody into another family who will accept me and love me . Please help me thank you.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod10
                    ccsmod10 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello –

                    Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We understand it takes a lot of courage to reach out and you definitely have shown a lot of it. It sounds like a very stressful situation. We are so sorry you have been put in this situation feeling as though suicide and self-harm are the only options. First, you are not alone and there are options for you. No one deserves to be abused whether it be physically, emotionally, or verbally. We would like to share a few resources with you that we share with others.
                    Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) – Worth exploring to discuss options for finding a safe place to live.
                    https://www.childhelp.org/
                    1-800-422-4453

                    National Suicide Prevention
                    https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
                    1-800-273-8255

                    National Alliance on Mental Illness
                    https://www.nami.org/
                    1-800-950-NAMI

                    Self-injury Outreach & Support
                    http://sioutreach.org/

                    It is great to hear you have people in your life that make you happy. Especially in the moments when we are feeling upset, angry, or just want someone to talk to. Those feelings are normal and can be hard to navigate alone. If there is ever a time when you just need someone to talk to or are looking or a safe place, we definitely encourage you to give us a call here or chat with us online at the National Runaway Safeline.
                    Please take moment and look into these resources. There is a lot of information, but the important thing to know is that you are not alone and there are people here to help.

                    - NRS

                • #14
                  im 14 i need to leave my house my dad and i fight to much and im cutting myself and harming my self alot what do i do

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod3
                    ccsmod3 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    It sounds like living with your dad is very stressful. I’m glad you reached out for help. This is a great first step to explore your options. Remember you are not alone.
                    If there is someone at school you feel comfortable talking with, that might be a good person to try talking about what’s going on between you and your dad. They might be able to help you find another way to cope with this stress. Here is a website that could help with your self-harm, its called to write love on her arm (twloha.com).
                    You also mentioned that you are wanting to leave your house. One option is to start family counseling services. If you are interested in trying it, we can help you find a counselor in your area if you call in at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at 1800runaway.org. It sounds like you have had enough of living with your dad, it might be better if you can live with another family member. If your dad agrees to let you live somewhere else it’s called an alternate living situation. You can get his approval in writing, if you want something more legal you can call your local non-emergency police number to see if they offer paper work to fill out. If you don’t have anyone that your dad would allow you to stay with, we can help you find shelters in your area if you call or chat. If you do runaway without permission, your dad can call the police to report you as a runaway. We aren’t legal experts, but this is considered a status offense, so it won’t go on your record and you won’t be arrested. If the police find you, they will take you back home. Another option might be to try to get a family member to mediate between you and your dad. That might help him understand your feelings. If you don’t have someone that could mediate, we have a conference call service where were can call out to your dad to help mediate.
                    Again, thanks for reaching out. This sounds like you are going through a difficult time at home. I hope one of these options can work for you. If you would like to keep discussing your options and what’s going on at home, please don’t hesitate to call or chat, we are available 24/7. We are here to listen, here to help.

                • #15
                  im 14 and i cant be living at my dads anymore its unsafe and we fight to much what do i do

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello,
                    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It can be very overwhelming to fight with your dad and to feel unsafe. You mentioned that you feel unsafe, if there is abuse or neglect going on we can report it, or help you report it. Also you may want to talk to a school counselor or teacher and if there is abuse or neglect they may help you report it as well. You also mentioned that you can’t be living at home anymore. At NRS we can provide you with numbers for shelters in your area that you may be able to go to. Also if there is any friends or family nearby that you could stay with, that could help you in your situation.
                    Again we are really glad you reached out to us, we are here to help you. If you would like to talk more about your situation feel free to call or chat with us. We are here to listen and we are here to help.
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