Real Runaway

[Guest]

Can I be a real runaway if my mother tells me to leave and sends me texts messages telling me not to come home ever, and she sends pictures of breaking my stuff, or trashing it. And then on my PAYDAY every 2 weeks, she threatens to call the cops on me for being a runaway if I don't come home and pay her my paycheck money. I am 16.5 and live in Oregon. I stay with my just recently turned 18 yo boyfriend and his parents. We have been together for over a year now. My father is ill with cancer and my mother abuses drugs and alcohol. So she always demands my paycheck for her personal habbits or I will get the police called on me. Yet the other 13 days she refuses to let me home. My 14 yo brother even lives with his gf and her family it is so bad at home for us. But we have too much love and guilt to involve child protection services.

How can I be a runaway when she forced me to leave? I am trying to become emancipated but she says she can still call me in as a runaway and ruin all of my progress. I am confused as to where to go and do now.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what has been going on. It sounds like the situation with your mother is very tense and she isn't treating you/taking care of you how she should be. You mentioned that your mom uses drugs and alcohol and that she takes your paycheck to help support her habits. It can be really hard to have someone who in your life struggles with addiction. We want you to know that you are not alone. If you’d like to talk to other young people who are dealing with friends or family members who have drinking problems you can check out Alateen. You can find more information about this support group, or find a local meeting here: https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/. You can also check out their sister program, Narateen by going to https://www.nar-anon.org/narateen - this group is similar but focuses on friends and family of people who struggle with drug usage.

You mentioned that you were uncomfortable contacting child protective services about your mother's behavior. Her actions can be considered neglect (and possibly abuse) and you have the right to report it if you so wish. If you change your mind or are curious about reporting and what it entails, you can check out childhelp.org. You also mentioned that you are worried about your mother claiming that you are a runaway and it impacting your efforts to be emancipated. We aren't legal experts but in the state of Oregon, to become emancipated through the court, a minor must file a petition. The minor must be at least 16 years old and must be able to financially support self and manage own affairs. If you'd like, you can reach out to a local legal aid group for more information. One such organization is Cascade Youth and Family Center, they can be reached by calling 540-382-0934.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS