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I want to die

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  • I want to die

    I am 16, turning 17 in about a month and i cannot wait to get out of this hellhole. It is a miracle that i am able to post this, for all of my electronics have been taken and wifi shuts off at 11. Today my mom woke me up from a nap i took after i went to the gym by yelling at me. when i asked her why are you angry she said thats it you sh**head youre grounded. i said for what and she said for talking back. shes always so mean to me and she yells constantly. my hearing is degraded in my left ear. She has a controlling complex and has to moniter everything i do and where i go and who i talk to. ive had multiple attemps at disscusion to work things out and it always ends with her insulting me personally on my intellegence. my dad is usually not a problem, but hes basically a slave to my mom. he does nothing without her say so and cannot thing for himself and doesnt stand up for anyone, even in the middle of a blasting. i have threatened to go for a walk to cool down during a fight and my mom called the cops on me. i moved up to my grandparents house for a bit, but she, as i said, has a controlling complex and can never be wrong. so she stole my phone and car and made it difficlt for us to operate. then after a while she invited me to a tea house to talk and work things out. then, she basically kidnapped me and told me that i was staying home wether i liked it or not. all i want is to go back to my grandparents where they treat me my age and trust me and give me responsibilities i can take care of. my mom has thrown a painting off my wall at my head wich i evidently caught on camera, and have the video uploaded to the cloud. she has told me she doesnt love me and when i bring it up she responds with sarcasm and calling me dramatic, which i am not. I simply call her out. she has insulted my girlfriend and encouraged me to break up with her I can take care of my self just fine and at one point was for a while. I want to run away. I live in colorado springs and my grandparents in larkspur. I have to cut this short because the wifi will shut off, but a response on what i should do would be greatly appreciated. urgent regards, curtis

  • #2
    Hey Curtis,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what's going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be hard to live with your mom when she acts so controlling and abrasively. It makes sense that you would want the same freedoms and independence that others your age have. You mentioned that your mom has thrown a painting at your head before, this raises some concern with us. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

    You said that you have tried talking with your mom before about how she makes you feel and about your desire to stay with your grandparents again but that the talks didn't work out. It may be beneficial to try to involve another person in future talks to help advocate for you and monitor the conversation to keep it fair. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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