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My freind is 16 and wants to move in with his grandma.

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  • My freind is 16 and wants to move in with his grandma.

    My freind Sam is in a bit of a predicament. He lives in a violent neighborhood where he hears gunshots at night and has to babysit his siblings all the time since his mom isn't home giving him barely any time for leisure or schoolwork. His mom has beat him a couple times, and has an off-again on-again relationship with a drug dealer. He's found weed in the house before as well as syringes in his mom's room. She (and his father) are very unsupportive, gleefully dismissing him as a failure every time he screws up. He wants to live with his grandma who is the only adult he has in his corner (that believes he can graduate high school). She lives in a much safer neighborhood and living with her he wouldn't be forced to babysit all the time, giving him time for leisure and study. Grandma has all the neccesities. He'd be able to go to the school he wants and not the godawful private school his mom forces on him.
    He wants to live with grandma, and we want to make that change now. His grades are very low, hes on the verge of failing sophemore year again, and he uses marijuana to deal with the stress of it all. We believe if he doesn't get the support both with tutoring and counseling to deal with his problems now, he might not graduate high school.
    He doesn't want his siblings to end up in foster care, and he doesn't want to call the CPS and get anyone in trouble. He just wants to live with his grandma, and have everything remain the same.
    Grandma doesn't have a lot of money to fight for custody, and even so we don't want to get his dad involved (dad in name only, he pops up once or twice a year to take the kids to the movies and gives Sam nothing but negative feedback). Sam will be 17 in August. I was wondering what would be the best and quickest way to get him out of there, hes sinking and I gotta get him out. Thank you.
    - Carson

  • #2
    RE: My freind is 16 and wants to move in with his grandma.

    Thank you for reaching out to us regarding your friend. It’s awesome that you are also in his corner and trying to help find him resources to deal with his situation. It definitely sounds like he needs some serious assistance with everything going on, and reaching out on his behalf is a great thing for you to do.
    Physical abuse, drug use and psychological harm are all things that your friend has a right to not be exposed to. He has a right to be safe from abuse and a right to be away from drug use. It’s understandable that your friend just wants to move in with his grandmother for a more stable environment and care. It’s also understandable that he is hesitant to talk to CPS and the school. At the same time, those are ways that he can have adults learn more about his situation and give him the support that he needs. You mentioned wanting to find the “quickest” way to get him help and that may be one of the fastest ways to get change in his situation. His mother may be his legal guardian and in order to explore how have that changed to his grandmother would likely require CPS or legal advice.
    We can’t give legal advice here, but we can listen and try to talk with you or your friend about the paths that might be available for him to get help. In a phone conversation, we may also be able to research some more specific places in your area to talk with. Thank you so much for reaching out. To talk more about this, we encourage either you or your friend to call us here or access the Chat service on our website. We’re here to listen and help.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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