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Moving on my own in the next year

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  • Moving on my own in the next year

    I'm sorry this is so long...

    So my family has never really been too rich or too poor, but my mom was always the only source of income for us as my dad has never really been able to have a job to support his 3 children. My mom passed away when I was 12 and now I am 17 and will be a senior in highschool this year. Ever since her passing my dad would claim to "work" for his friends party rental business and then would go out every night with his friends or to various bars leaving me in charge of my 2 younger siblings all day and night. When my dad was home, he was offering our home to various different girls "his friends".

    If he wasnt with someone else or working he was often sleeping all day and resuming the partying at night. Because of his blowing of our funds every night we eventually had to turn to food pantries to even get food at all and because my siblings were so little the house was always dirty and infested with ants, roaches, and maggots to which my dad would say we would all clean up together as a family and then leave for me to clean up on my own. At one point the only money he was receiving at all was from my 6 year old brothers disability check once a month because he is blind in one eye.

    Around March this year my dad could no longer keep our house and we were all kicked out. He, my siblings and my self are all split up now and I am staying in an extra room at a friends house. My dad has told me multiple times since then that we have had opportunities to get a new place but we hasn't been able to keep up with them due to his constant partying. He hasn't tried to change anything and he only ever tries to contact me when he needs to use me as a babysitter for his kids.

    I am very grateful to the family who is letting me stay with them but they are all very successful people and their children are expected to move out and go to college right at 18. I am not smart enough to get a scholarship and I don't know what to do. I've been applying for jobs but my activities for school (which someone else on the team has to pay for because my family cant) are very time consuming and my hours would be constantly changing.

    I need to move out soon because I cant stay at this friends house for long and my dad is certainly not going to actually try hard enough to support his family or get us a new place to live. While I am also worried for the well being of my siblings I know that I need to be able to support my self on my own by the time I graduate. I'm struggling to get a job and keep up with extracurriculars and I dont where to go or what to do.

  • #2
    Hi there, thanks for sharing. Sounds like you are in a really rough spot feeling like you need to move out soon, but not sure where or what to do.

    It sounds like your family is currently living with your dad's friend while he is trying to figure out housing, but you are feeling like he is not going to get housing soon. That must be a pretty frustrating situation. If you call or chat us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or we can look to see if there are any runaway and homeless youth shelters or transitional living programs near you. It sounds like a transitional living program might best fit your needs because it is a longer stay program to help homeless youth get on their feet with job assistance and basic life skills training. It just depends if there are any programs near you that you could qualify for, again please call or chat us to see what is near you.

    If you haven't already, you might ask close friends and extended family if you can stay with them instead of living with your dad's friend. The easiest way to move out is with your dad's permission and it sounds like that could be an option due to your living situation. If you ever need to have a mediated phone call with your dad about how you are feeling please do not hesitate to call us. We can be on the line to mediate that difficult conversation.

    Please do not hesitate to reach out via phone or chat so we can best help. Be safe,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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