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Can I Move In With My Boyfriend at 16?

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us. It can be difficult to ask for help, and we're very glad that you did.

    It sounds like you've had really tough circumstances for quite a while, with the abuse you've suffered and the substance abuse you've both seen and struggled with. Everyone deserves to feel safe and supported, and it certainly makes sense that you would want to be in an environment that feels more stable than what you've experienced in the past.

    Running away from home while a minor is what's known as a "status offense", meaning that in most circumstances, you would not be charged with a crime. However, if your grandmother were to report you as missing and the police were to locate you, they would be obligated to return you to your grandmother. Technically your boyfriend's family could also be charged with harboring a runaway.

    If your grandmother were to give permission, or if she were to simply not report you as missing, there might not necessarily be any legal issue with you living with your boyfriend's family, One option we could provide, if you're interested, would be to mediate a phone call between your grandmother and you, so that you could explain your reasons for wanting to stay with your boyfriend's family in a structured and safer environment. It's not a guarantee, of course, but she may be more open to listening to your reasons with a neutral third-party on the line. If this is something you'd be interested in pursuing, give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or contact us using the chat feature.

    In case you ever want to talk with someone about substance abuse issues (either your own or what you've experienced with your guardians), you can also call the SAMHSA hotline at 1-800-662-4357. This is a free and confidential helpline for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders, and can provide you with support and local treatment options.

    It sounds like your boyfriend's family is really great to you, and no matter what happens with your grandmother, it's fantastic that you have a place to go where people will love and protect you. If you would like to discuss your potential options further, please don't hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us on our website. We are available 24/7, and are here to help. Best of luck to you.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I as of September 22/2019 I will be 16 years old. I do not live with my parents, I was moved to foster care at 5. Then I moved in with my guardian, my grandmother at 7. I lived with her in Alaska, where I was having many problems with her and her newest husband. They both would get drunk alot. They even called 911 in the morning before, and I had to explain to cops that they were drunk.in Alaska I had gotten many different cases of abuse from different family members, with her not watching me well enough. We fought alot and still fight alot. Later on we moved from Alaska to washington state, where drinking still went on and I had another case of abuse there.. and I started into drinking and drugs too. After 9 months of living with her I fought to move back to Alaska, and live with her ex husband and new wife. I got my way, and I have been living with them for 6 months. When I went to visit my grandma, she had kicked me out of the house, and tried to kick my aunt out, for not cleaning the house enough. So I went to a friend's and I got texts later on that night from her saying "I'm gonna call the cops" "be home by 11am I'm gonna drug test u". I get home at 11am, an she was so embarrassed by her actions, didn't drug test me, and didn't even talk to me. Various nights she said to me "just get out of my life!" But anyway I came back to her ex husband an new wife, and the husband is always away working, so it's just me an the wife. She overreacts on everything I do. It's quite honest she doesn't want me here. I feel unwelcomed, and upset. She talks to me alot about if I effect her marriage I'm leaving. She is on even trial as my legal guardian.we even talked about options if I wasnt with them where I'd live. I've been dating a guy now for 2 1/2 years, in Alaska. They drive me to school in the morning. His family is stable no drugs, alcohol, etc. They offered me to live with them. Me and my boyfriend would have totally different rooms in house. He has 3 siblings to keep an eye on us. I will have a car within months and a license, that I can use for work. But we need my grandmother's permission, an I have a big idea she will say no. He is why I came back to Alaska . Life would be perfect at their house. They all love me. I cannot legally live with my mom from past reasons, and my father abandoned me when I was born. What do I do I know my grandma will say no.

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  • ccsmod4
    replied
    I am having a hard time with my life right now

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You showed some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I also can't contact him because he broke his phone and uses his dad's
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-29-2019, 01:01 AM.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am having a hard time with my life right now I am 17 in September and my boyfriend is 16 in October. My mom says I'm too emotionally attached and she says she is banding him. And I have a lot of mental health records in school and stuff and there has been times where I just wanted to move out. But I don't have a way to do so because I can't get a job and go to school at the same time, and what doesn't help that my boyfriend switched highschools because his family moved. And I've been wanting to move in with them. So I asked Mom and she said to ask the dad straight up because we have always fighted verbally because we were never on the same page because she is a hellacopter mom. She doesn't like the thought of losing me and she says that I hate her and stuff because I want to leave her. What do I do this isn't even a quarter about what is happening there's way more to it than this

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Its great that you and your boyfriend are planning ahead. You can maybe consider looking at websites with house listings to get an idea of the type of house you would want to buy and an idea of pricing. One option you could consider is to look on Zillow.com, which has house listings and you can choose the city and state and price point. You may want to consider to start saving because by the time you both are ready to buy a house it would be a good idea to have money saved.
    We hope this answered your question. If you have any other questions or would like to explore options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
    NRS

  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now. Because you are 16 years old if you were kicked out of your home that is considered neglect, because your parents or legal guardian has the responsibility of providing you with shelter. If you would like to make a report you can contact The Child Help Hotline at: 1800-422-4453. We know that sometimes making a report can be scary if you would like our help please give us a call.
    We are not legal experts but because you are 16 you cannot legally leave the home without permission. If you leave home without permission you could be considered as a runaway. If the police did find you and they found it safe for you to return home they most likely would bring you back home. You mentioned that your mother has given you permission to leave, you may want to consider getting that in writing and notarized so you would not be returned home. Another option you could consider is emancipation, which would give you adult rights at 16. You can call your local court house and ask them about the emancipation process. You can also call us and we would be able to provide legal aid resources as well.
    We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options more please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck with everything.
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    So i wanna get a house at 15 with my 16 year old bf but we can't because we're to young to move out of our parents houses so is there a house that me and my bf can look at for the future m?

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 15 I turn 16 in November. Things have been tough. I got kicked out my moms house almost 2 months ago and when I left she told me if I wanted to go live with my boyfriend of age 18 I could that she didn’t care anymore. I live in NC and would like to move in with him but not brought back if my parents change their mind. I read that legally I can leave the house at 16 without parent consent. My moms behavior also hasn’t been the best and i took pictures of the way I was left after she hit me. I don’t know what to do

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  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    If I am 16 and I live in NC can I move in with my boyfriend and his mom?

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  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. It is understandable that you would want to live in a stable living environment. You deserve to be in a place where you feel secure and taken care of. It sounds like the constant moving has started to take effect on your mental health. You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mother’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mother’s. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
    We hope this information helps.
    Best wishes,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, i am 16 about to be 17 on May 25th. My whole life, we have moved around so much. I hate it and makes me really emotionally distressed. I am tired of dealing with it. My boyfriend lives with his parents, they are very kind and nice to me. I was wondering could i leave my house & go stay with them, because i really need a stable household because I’m about to be a senior. I am very stressed because I’m tired of dealing with the inconsistent lifestyle. I don’t want to get my mom in trouble. I simply want to remove myself from the situation.

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    It sounds like you have been going through a lot, so we are glad you are reaching out to us because we are here to help. While we aren’t legal experts, we can share a few pieces of information that may be helpful to you.

    In your message you mentioned that you have played out different scenarios of running away. As we mentioned, we aren’t legal experts, but we can tell you that running away isn’t illegal, but is considered a status offense. That means that while you may not get arrested for leaving home without your mom’s permission, your parents do have the option to involve the police and file a runaway report. With a runaway report, the police could bring you back home and may be able to press charges against anyone that takes you in (that includes your boyfriend’s parents). Telling you’re his parents this may help you and them think of options that work best for everyone.

    We mentioned that if you leave without permission then your parents could file a runaway report but there may be another option. If you were to receive parental permission (usually best to have proof in the form of texts or letter) from both parents, you may be able to avoid legal action. Would you be comfortable speaking with your mom about wanting to leave and asking for permission? Conversations like that can be difficult, but we may be able to help you think of ways to call if you were to call our number at 1-800-786-2929. We have people on our line that can help support you in whatever way you need.

    You mentioned that you don’t want to live with your dad but would like to leave your mom’s house. Have you talked to him about these feelings? If he knew your full situation he may be able to make financial adjustments to accommodate you, or at least help you think of options.

    You also mentioned your mom’s behavior and her new boyfriend’s influence on her. Unfortunately, we are only able to control our own actions. So while there isn’t a way to directly affect your mom’s behavior, telling her how her actions make you feel make help her to adjust her way of thinking. With your brother’s health as a factor, communication how her actions affect you and him may be an eye opening experience if she is open to hearing it.

    As we said before we are here to help, but we are also here to listen. If you wanted to discuss any of the options we mentioned or brainstorm other options, the hotline we mentioned is confidential and available 24/7.

    Best of luck!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, I’m a 16 year old female and my mom and dad share 50/50 custody towards me. They split when I was very little and they easily got into new relationships. My dad started dating a lady and I LOVE her and my mom started to date a guy that she had gotten married to...then, they got divorced and ever since I feel like my family has fallen apart bits by bit. It wasn’t until I met my current boyfriend (of 3 years) that I felt okay with myself and like nothing was wrong. After about a year of my moms divorce, she began dating again. It’s weird with my mom because she changes for her boyfriends. Whatever they’re into, she’s into. And her current boyfriend is all about going out and drinking. The other week my mom was out while I was at my boyfriends house and my brother was home alone. My brother has type 1 diabetes so it’s serious. My mom called me, at 11:30pm that night while she was out drinking saying that I needed to get home and check on my brother because her phone gave her a notification that my brothers blood sugar was the highest it’s been since he had been diagnosed. I was very upset that she would want to stay out drinking with her impulsive boyfriend instead of taking care of her sick child. I want to run away so bad because i don’t want to be in an environment with someone that does that all the time just to satisfy their boyfriend. I also don’t wanna live with my dad because he is not financially stable to support me all the time on top of paying my mom child support money every month. My boyfriends parents have said already that they would love to take me in because they see how my home life is but I’m just scared to get them in trouble...I’ve played out so many different scenarios from running away to just “disappearing” and driving away....any advice?

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