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13 years old and want to move out

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  • My mom doesn't listen to me.My dad doesn't care about me.I can't stay here.Staying here doesn't bring me joy.I don't know if i should run away or just wait until i turn 18.

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    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,

      Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, it takes great courage to reach out and we are so glad that you have decided too. We are sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.
      Running away is a big decision to make that only you can make as you know your situation the best. If you were to leave your legal guardian could file a runaway report, and if the police were to find you it is a possibility that you could be brought back home. It seems you have a lot going on you may want to consider talking to a school counselor about what has been going on at home. They may be able to provide support and help with resources. A resource that may be helpful to you is called NAMI (national alliance. They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to talk further about your situation, please give us a call. We are completely confidential and non-judgmental and available 24/7. We wish you the best of luck!
      NRS

  • Hi, I just turnt 13 last December, I live with my grandma, mom, cousin, aunt & brother. It’s only a 3 bedroom so I share a room with my aunt while my grandma, mom and brothers share a room and my cousin has a room to himself (my old room) we are living here because we’re struggling financially we used to live with my stepfather but him and my mom had a big fight (they fought at least twice a month and they were always bad) she decided to move out, we’ve been staying here since last September, and I hate it here so much. Today (3 hours ago) my mom lashed out on me basically I broke my zipper to my winter coat and didn’t realize until I was getting ready to put it back on she was mad and yelled at me saying I broke it on purpose and how did I not realize, but I didn’t even realize, the whole house was saying I was lying now I do lie time from time but half of the time I’m telling the truth and this time I was, I yelled and said “I didn’t do it!” I was sitting in the living room and my mom was in my grandma’s room and she jumped up and came in the living room and started constantly punching me, she held me down and and pulled my hair out of my beanie she yelled “I will kill you b***h don’t you yell at me” & “how dare you be disrespectful to me after all I do for you” I cried screaming for her to get off me, my aunt yelled “that’s enough (her name)” I cried and kicked and tried to fight back a little she cut me on my face with her nails I screamed and kicked till after a good 5 minutes she got off me and I slid onto the floor crying she kicked me and walked away going back to the room, my aunt said “that’s what you get for being disrespectful” I didn’t mean to yell, but this always happens this happens at least once every 2 months when she lashes out on me and starts fighting me, my mom is 33 and a little plus sized so I have no chance with trying to fight back, I don’t know if this is abuse or discipline so I don’t know if I was in the wrong or not. But I really wanna get out of here I don’t know what to do the only place I have left to go is my dad’s house who stays 2 cities away, he has a stable home and I’ll have my own room I kinda like it there I only visit 3 times a month but he doesn’t have the time to watch over me and take care of me properly due to his work, please tell me what do I do

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • Hi, I'm 13 and I live with my grandparents who are both hardcore conservatives, verbally abusive, and have ruined my mental health overall. I have recently came out as transgender to them(FTM) and they are of course not accepting. They treat me like I'm 18 years old, and my grandfather treats me like his cell mate, not even his granddaughter. Its not the best living situation for me since we have very different opinions and I cannot truly be myself in the household. I wanna move to California with my other family but I'm not sure how my dad is gonna react if I ask him. If he declines I'm thinking of running away but i honestly don't know if this is a good enough reason.
    Last edited by ccsmod3; 01-30-2021, 01:54 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

      We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. Your bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support, we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

      You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or some trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your grandparent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your legal guardians to leave home. It is not illegal to run away, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

      If you are unsure of how to guide the conversation with your dad who might be an option for you to go to, we also offer conference calls as a service. With this service, you would call us and explain the situation, we could then call out to your dad and try to have a constructive conversation about you possibly leaving your grandparents household.

      If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

      Stay Strong,
      NRS


      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think

  • Hello...Im only 12 about to turn 13 next week and my mom is very toxic to me. She doesnt care about my feelings at all and she treats me differently then my other siblings. Shes always nice to my middle sister and my younger nephew. But with me and my older sister she always body shames us, insults us, curses us, and just takes full control of us. Im always thinking about killing myself, My mom even knows I have sucidal thoughts and she says im crazy and says alot of hurtful things and always takes away my things like my ipad for no reason at all. Its like she does it on purpose to make me angry and sad. I have no help at all and i hate this feeling of sadness....I wish i never existed. I know this might sound dumb since i have food, shelter, parents, and many great stuff im happy for that other kids dont even have. But i wanna move in with my God family or Aunt. My Dad and middle sister also defend her instead of me. My mom and me always fight and argue everyday. She always spanks me and pulls my hair when im crying. She says she would be happy if I never was with her. Im to stressed out at a young age like this..I think I have anger problems since I bang my own hand to the ground until It bruises and throw alot of things and scream alot. Please help. I cant deal with this anymore, it would of been better if I killed myself instead. I also think shes bipolar since she says she loves me but then 10 minutes later she would get mad for no reason. She also touches me weirdly since she always tries to touch my private part saying its hers and always saying “im your own mother, I made you”. And would grope my bottom to and touch my chest sometimes but says that she loves me or needs a kiss or a hug. It makes me very uncomfortable and I HATE IT very much, its my body and space. I wanna throw up by just experiencing all of that. Please just help. ;( I pray to God to and I feel like he never hears me. Or I just feel like im over exaggerating and to sensitive since im just a little kid.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there. Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

      It sounds like you've been having a tough time at home, especially with your mom, and we're sorry to hear that. You mentioned that your mom touches you in ways that make you uncomfortable, and you're right--it IS your body and your space, and only you should decide who gets to touch you in those ways. That said, it might be a good idea to consider filing an abuse report with your local Child Protective Services (CPS) agency. Their job is to ensure that you're safe in your home, and if you're not, to decide what steps should be taken in order to make sure that you are. If this is something that you're interested in doing, you can file a report on your own, by contacting us here at NRS for support, or by telling a safe person of the abuse (like a teacher, school counselor, therapist, etc.). Each person that I've listed are considered Mandated Reporters and have a legal obligation to contact CPS when there are any suspicions or indications of abuse. 

      As you continue to work through things, please know that you are special and you deserve to live a full life. When things really start to weigh on us, that can be hard to remember, but having a support system in place can really be helpful. If you're open to talking to someone about how you're feeling and what you're going through, therapy might be able to help. You can initiate the process of finding a therapist in your area by reaching out to us here at NRS, or by connecting with your school counselor or social worker. You can also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by calling 1-800-273-8255 or by chatting with them live at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org--they're available 24/7. Beyond this, if at any point you feel unsafe at home because of something your mom is doing, or because you're really thinking about killing yourself, please contact your local police for immediate support.

      If you'd like to talk in more detail about what's going on or explore more options, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

      Take care.

      NRS

  • HI, im 13, my parents have a fight at least every month. My mom always is strict on everything i wear and her expectations are really high. If i get a c i get hit or screamed at. I am emotianally and psycologically abused. My mom and dad both call me dumb and stooped for making a mistake. They always put me down and i was wondering i i am able to stay at a familys house instead of mine

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for contacting NRS,
      We are sorry to hear that you are going through those things. It is unfair and cruel of someone to hit you over something like a grade. From what you were writing you try your hardest and it never is enough for them. Please know that being emotionally abused or physically abused is not okay. You have every right to report something like that. There are a few ways you can choose to report child abuse. You can report with us here at NRS. We would be happy to help report alongside you so that it is not as scary. Another organization that helps with reporting child abuse is called Child Help (800-422-4453, online at www.childhelp.org) they can also report alongside you as well. You mentioned as well that you want to live with friends or a friend's family. This is a good option if you think your parents would give you permission. In order to leave home before you turn 18, your parents would have to say yes but it might be a good option as there are times when they might say yes.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS
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