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13 years old and want to move out

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  • #91
    I’m 13 my mother is verbally abusive, but refuses to believe that she is. She believes that she is a good person, and sometimes is, but doesn’t realize that puts a lot of mental stress on me. My father is an alcoholic, and almost every night he is drunk. I have an extremely hard time not loving him or trusting him because I want to, but he is a bad person. He is physical and has destroyed things when he is angry. He slaps my sister and I. On one occasion he held my sister by the neck against the wall and threatened to burn down our house with her and him in it. I need to leave, but I don’t know how. My grandmother would take me but she is very old, and my mother is at least sort of sane but she downplays the whole situation and believes it isn’t that big of a deal. She refuses to divorce him (my dad) even though he is abusive to everyone. I have been mentally unstable since I was 6 with severe depression, anxiety, OCD, and bipolar disorder. I constantly feel like I want to die. I need to leave now.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

      It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • #92
    My Father truly hates me and has even said it. He doesn’t love me at all he is taking my connections to the outside world. He says it’s because of my grades witch is a lie I'm doing my best at this difficult time where my school is half at home and half at school. He laughs and jokes around but then the mask slips off and the monster is released. He has serious anger issues and do nothing unlike me I see a special Ed teacher about it. I am scared and traumatized, my own mother is afraid of him but won't admit it. I just wish I had my license because I could leave any time I pleased. He makes me think very poorly about myself. Sometimes I think about walking to the river and drowning or hanging myself. He seems nice but he is evil. He favors my little brother because he is like my dad. I am treated like crap please send some advice I need it tonight.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-31-2020, 01:46 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you have been through a lot with your father from emotional to physical abusive behavior. You don’t deserve any of these things that have happened. And you don’t deserve to live in fear. You have shown to be strong despite the situation. We understand that it has been frustrating for you. Sometimes when things may seem overwhelming it’s hard to know where to turn. We hope that you know it’s not your fault that things have been this way.

      Sometimes talking with someone might help to bring about options or solutions not thought of. NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You showed some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you. Your feelings are important and they matter.
      If you would like to talk more about your situation, please reach out to NRS via phone or live chat. You can reach us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org
      It may feel like an isolating time for you right now but you are not alone.If you are experiencing feelings of hopelessness, depressed or suicidal, we encourage you to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at: 1-800-273-8255

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #93
    Hey... so I live with my mother who has custodian custody of me. I don’t feel safe at home with her nor my step father. My step father tends to be emotionally and verbally abusive to me and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. According to my fathers and mother divorce papers it says that I move with my father when I’m 13 but I’m almost 14 and still living with my mother. I have been struggling depression for at least 3 to 4 years now and I can’t take it any longer. I want to move out of my mothers house. Is there anyway I can get help to move with my father?

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. You don't deserve to be abused in any kind of way and it makes sense that you would want to get away from your stepfather as soon as possible, especially if you were told that custody would have been changed by now.

      It may be beneficial to speak with your father directly about your desire to live with him. Sometimes custody transfers will need to go through the family court system and it may be beneficial to speak with a legal advocate. If you need help locating a legal aid group near you you can check out https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/.

      You stated that you've been struggling with depression for a few years and that you feel like it's about to reach a breaking point. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #94
    I'm 12 turning 13 this year and my mom is mean, not nice, rude, cusses at me all the time. Tell me is it possible to live in a different house?

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for taking the time to share a bit about your situation with us here at NRS. We understand it takes great courage to reach out for help. You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. You can speak with an advocate at the National Child Abuse Hotline to learn more about the reporting process, www.childhelp.org.

      We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #95
    I'm 13 and I want to move out, I hate my dad and my mom even though they give me everything I hate how they're homophobic and judgemental of me and make my confidence go low, I overall just hate them and I want to leave bc they're the reason why I think about how toxic my family is, I also hate my siblings and how they care to much about my personal life and meddle with my personal problems. I hate my cousins and my aunts and uncles, they're just judgemental and strict. I've been wanting to kill myself for a while but the best way for me to leave this family is to run away; I just don't see hope in any of my family members anymore.

    Comment


    • #96
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe and stay strong,

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #97
        i’m 13 and my moms forcing me to do all this and she’s trying to help me but i keep telling her it’s going to traumatize me and make me even worse but nobody will listen to me and all i can do or think about to help me get away is killing my self or running away but i don’t wanna die i love life but the things that my moms putting me through is so stressful and she keeps saying i’m strong and that i’ll get through this but if i was strong i wouldn’t need all this and i may be strong but sometimes it’s too much for a strong person we’re not invincible ya know, we break down too, i just need help and need someone to finally be on my side cuz she’s always on other peoples sides never mine, never her own daughters side, i may be 13 but since i had to grow up faster and on my own i’m way more mature and yes i have my 2 year old side and that’s when an adult can come in and redirect me but when i’m in my mature side don’t talk or treat me like a kid, that’s cruel, i’ve been cutting nonstop bc i’ve been thinking about this and i can’t deal with it, i just want someone to be on my side about this, i don’t wanna go to rez i don’t and i cant handle it, it’ll break me. Please can someone help me, i’m begging you i need someone to be on my side

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,


          Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. Acknowledging that you need help and asking for it takes extreme courage, and we hope you recognize that. It sounds like you are very emotionally mature and incredibly strong, and we thank you for sharing your situation with us.


          It sounds like there is a lot that you’re going through with your mom right now, and that she is forcing you to do things that you do not want to do. If you are ever being asked to do something that puts you in immediate danger, please refuse to do it as much as possible, or call 911. If you have any other siblings, close friends, or family in your life that you can contact, it also may be helpful to talk with them a bit about how you are feeling.


          You also mentioned that you are engaging in cutting and have also had thoughts of suicide. No one deserves to ever feel so much pain that they want to take their life. If you continue to feel suicidal and would like to speak with someone about how you are feeling, you can call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1(800)273-8255. You can also text the crisis line by texting “HOME” to 741-741.


          We are also always available to talk through the details of your situation and offer you more helpful resources and support. To speak with us anytime, call our 24/7 hotline at 1(800) 786-2929, or chat with us live at www.1800runaway. These services are always open and always have counselors ready to listen.


          We can tell that you are an incredibly strong and brave person for dealing with all that you are going through right now, and we hope you know that you are never alone.


          Best of luck to you, and stay safe.


          NRS

      • #98
        I'm barely even a teenager and I feel like I'm an adult. I'm a questioning non-binary(they/them) that might use male gender pronouns, I'm still confused about the last part. My dad is neglective and my mother is mentally and emotionally abusive. My mom is so sexist and unsupportive when I came out to her as pansexual that I'm scared to come out again about my gender identity since I'm the only queer child I have and one of the other lgbtqia+ person in the family, as well as the only atheist. She also burned my weight into my head, and I know it's higher than that since that was only a week ago. Both of my parents are trump supporters even though I've tried to tell them about the things he's done. I'm thinking about running away, but i don't have anywhere to go other than just to continue dealing with their nonsense until I move out when I get a car and my driver's licenses at 16 or 17. I'm just so tired of all of these panic attacks at night, I don't know what to do.

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We know it can take a lot of courage to reach out, and we're glad you did.

          It sounds like you have quite a bit going on in your personal life, some of which is centered around your gender identity and a lack of support. We're sorry to hear that you're not receiving the support that you deserve in this aspect. If you need someone to talk to as you work through discovering your gender identity or in general, The Trevor Project is a great resource for LGBTQIA+ youth. They have resources available for you, but also a 24/7 crisis line, chat, texting option, support center, and TrevorSpace, a social networking site for LGBTQ youth under 25 and their allies. You can learn more about the organization and what else they have going on here: www.thetrevorproject.org.

          As you continue to navigate through some of these more challenging areas in your life, it might be a good idea to try and find a therapist or a counselor that you're comfortable talking with. They can help ensure that you're not only safe at home (because being neglected and mentally/emotionally abused is never okay), but also make sure you're really feeling supported and help you in managing your panic attacks. If this is something you're interested in, NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness is a good starting point finding local resources that are available to you. You can find them at www.nami.org or by calling 1-800-950-6264.

          You're also always welcome to reach out to us here at NRS. We're available 24/7 by phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) or chat through our website (www.1800runaway.org), and always happy to help.

          Take care.

          NRS

      • #99
        I'm 13 years old, I want to go live with my aunt and cousin. My dad is in jail and my mom is not responsible enough to be my mom. She is verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, and sometimes even physically abusive. I cry myself to sleep almost every night she calls me a b****, worthless. Tells me I can't do anything right. She sells/does meth and I'm always stuck home watching my brother and doing everything around the house. I cant take it anymore I cant be here this household is too toxic. Any time I try to tell her how I feel she screams and yells at me, I constantly feel like killing myself. I just want to live with my aunt when I'm there I'm happy.

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Liner: Hello, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what has been going. It seems as if you are going through a very difficult time right now. You do not deserve to be mistreated nor emotionally or physically abused by anyone; especially your mother. We want to inform you that what you are experiencing is not your fault and that you are not alone. We understand how family dynamics can become unbearable and toxic. You should be able to express your feelings and concerns without being yelled at or put down. You also should feel comfortable and safe within your home. You may like to consider reaching out to your aunt and explaining to her what has been going on. During that time, you could ask your aunt if you could stay with her. You may also like to consider filing an abuse report as well as seeking professional assistance from a mental health counselor or therapist.

          We want to inform you that we are not legal experts, however we do have a great deal of experience working with runaway youth. Since you are 13 years old, you are still considered a minor in your state until you turn 18 years old. Knowing that, your mom could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they would be obligated to bring you back to your mom’s house. If you were to temporarily stay with your aunt, you will need your parents’ consent to do, or your aunt could be charged with harboring a runaway.



          We have provided a few resources below for you:



          The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a toll-free hotline that you can call when you are feeling overwhelmed, distressed, or thinking about killing yourself. You can also chat with them online if you choose to do so at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. The telephone number is 1-800-273-8255.



          Child Help is a child abuse hotline that you can use to report abuse inflicted upon you.
          Child abuse hotline: 1-800-422-4453
          childhelp.org

          We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help you by telephone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice on the forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail, please call or chat us soon.

          We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          If you are at risk or any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

          Be safe,

          NRS

      • Hi I'm 12 years old and my parents are "Christian" Already, they are homophobic and judgmental. I can't express myself or go out most of the time, it's also hard because my dad mentally abuses my mom. It's a pretty broken household, it doesn't help either bc im home schooled. I feel like every thing is on loop, it's tireing. I want to move out but I'm still so young. I don't have anyone that I trust enough to go to. I just don't know.

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

          We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

          You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

          If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

          Stay Strong,
          NRS

      • Hello I'm 13 years old and live with a toxic father, stepmother My parents are not allowing me to get a job and try to start my own life because if i get i a job i will no longer be able to watch the 5 kids. Im at home with a 1,4,9 and 11-year-old all day when I'm in school. I have good grades because if I didn't I would not be able to have my phone i was told. My father beat me twice and i was put into the hospital because my little sister was so scared that she told her teacher. I was beaten because my grama told my dad a lie when my 11-year-old sister even told him he was lying. The 2nd time i was beating i was thrown on the ground being choked. The first time he throws me at a wall then held me there and slped me then choked me and told me i was a horrible child. I was told that you could hear my screams outside. My father made everyone get out the house and locked the door so could not escape his grasp. Now i get yelled i haven't seen my phone in 3 months because i talked to a boy. I don't know what to do anymore. I tried to kill my self and my dad told me i was selfish and that i was stupid because he won't let me die. Im 13and take drugs to help my self.

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Home should be a safe haven, not somewhere that you is scary and dangerous!

          Your dad's behavior is absolutely unacceptable and you do not deserve to be treated that way. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are currently at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

          You brought up that you previously tried to kill yourself; we care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741.

          If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

          Stay safe,
          NRS

          We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      • Hi so um I’m 13 my parents are separated and I only see my dad 1 day every 2 weeks and my mom has complete custody over me. my mom met my stepdad when I was 5 I’ve never liked him, she always takes his side, and always makes me deal with my 1 and 3 year old siblings that never give me any space, also she gives me everything to do around the house since she “pays the rent and feeds me.“ I started my own online cosmetics business but it’s moving pretty slow and I can’t wait to move too much longer. My grandpa is always grumpy, my grandma is rude, and my dad is unreliable so I have no one to live with. In my state we can get emancipated at 15 but I can’t wait that long. I feel like such a brat and an ass because other people have worse problems but it’s hard here for me mentally and I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried every other rational reason as to why I’m overreacting because apparently everyone goes through this hating parent phase at 13 but idk? Help anyone? I’ve been trying to run away since I was like 6.
        Last edited by ccsmod4; 11-25-2020, 01:41 AM.

        Comment


        • ccsmod4
          ccsmod4 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello,
          Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

          We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you might be feeling stressed at home with family. We understand wanting to have a life of your own where you don’t feel frustrated by anyone. We’re glad you reached out. Sometimes talking things through may help come up with some options and maybe a plan to help better cope with the situation.

          We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).


          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Take care,
          NRS
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