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13 years old and want to move out

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  • #16
    Hello I’d like to know if there is a legal way to leave my family, which is made unbearable by my parents who both snap at random occasions and scream at my 10 year old sister and my 13 year old self. They’ll snap and rage then say they love us. I don’t believe them anymore. I’ve been slapped by my dad on multiple occasions and my mother has said she wishes she had different children, as well as firmly believing that people are born with a fixed personality and I had a bad one, even though I want to Ben a good person when I grow up up. Thank you I have to go now.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like you are in a really stressful situation at home with your parents screaming, saying hurtful things, and slapping you on occasion. It's understandable all this has taken a toll on you. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you and inform you as best we can.

      You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home legally. The easiest way to leave home is with your guardian's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. To learn about your reporting options you might reach out to the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. If you decide to report, you can always call us for assistance filing the report. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering down the line.

      Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org.

      Take care,

      NRS

  • #17
    I’m 13 and my mom is a Drunk as Been for years but as of late it’s has gotten Bad, I’m not Doing good in school, it’s hard to have a social life outSide of school because of this. My grandparents have ask me if I want to live there if it gets to Bad at home but I don’t know how to ask my parents or if I can leave without consent?

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, it sounds like home is really hard right now. We are glad you reached out for help!
      You mentioned struggling in school. If you are not out for the summer, perhaps talking to a teacher or school counselor could help. They may be able to put you in contact with a tutor or offer extra support. They may also be a good outlet for what is happening at home.

      Another resource for you in terms of your mom's drinking is called Al-Anon. They have a specific program called Ala-Teen for teenagers whose parents drink a lot: https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/

      They have online help, in person meetings, and even phone support.

      It sounds like your grandparents are supportive of you and are trying to help, which is great. We are glad you have some adults who are helpful. Typically you do need parental consent to leave. If safety is a concern though, you can talk to your grandparents about getting temporary custody. Child Help can also with thinking about that: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org.

      Thank you again for reaching out. We are here to help!

  • #18
    Hello I need some advice fast. I have a family member who is 13 that has ram away from home. I love in another city and she has caught a ride to me. She refused not to go home and is begging me, in fear not to call her mom. What can I legally do to help her.

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what's going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you care a lot about your relative and want to make sure that she is safe. We aren't legal experts here at NRS, but running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something that can’t be done while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed by her mom and she is located by the authorities she will most likely be returned to her mom. It is worth mentioning that if you are over 18 and she is found staying with you, you do run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor. Penalties for harboring a runaway vary from state to state, police officer to officer, and how her mom views the situation.

      Of course, it may be a good idea for your relative to contact us directly to go over the situation in depth and explore other options that she may have available to her. SHe can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • #19
    I am 13 and my mom has a lot o problems that are makeing my life not good and I want to go live with someone elas that has alreadt said it was.fine if I wanted to move in with them what do I do

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      .We are glad you reached out for some help. It sounds challenging living with your Mom and trying to deal with her issues. It takes a lot of courage to explore options and work on another living situation that might be better for you. There are several things you need to consider before you go live with someone else even if they said it was fine. It would be easier to explore your options and work out a plan if we could get some additional information and talk through what would work and not work for you. We are a non-directive agency (that means we don’t tell you what to do but work out a plan that is best for you). You can contact us to chat/talk more and go into the details on our website at www.1800RUNAWAY.org or call us on our 24 hour hotline at 1-800-786-2929. We are confidential and glad you reached out to us.

  • #20
    I'm 13 years old and my mom passed away when i was 2 because she had breast cancer and i live with my dad and my dog because I'm an only child and my dad is verbally and emotionally abusing me and i feel like im living in hell because i cant hold myself together when I'm around him because of how scary he is, causing me to breakdown and cry and feel self pity every single day. my dad and i have tried counseling, long talks about how i feel, and many many letters but nothing works whatsoever and i need out now. I'm a very independent person and i have been for years and i would like to move in with a non-biological family friend that i call my aunt. i don't think its legal though to move out and I don't know what to do, the only thing I'm sure of is that i cant keep doing this to myself.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. We are sorry about the passing of your mother having a parent pass away can be incredibly difficult.
      We are sorry that you are going through abuse that is never okay. You have the right to report the abuse by calling the police or by calling The Child Help Hotline at: 1800-422-4453.
      We are glad that you have someone that you are close with. We are not legal experts but if you do leave home without permission your dad could file a runaway report. If the police do find you they most likely would bring you home. One option to consider is talking to your father about possibly staying with your aunt. If having this conversation alone scares you we do offer conference calling. Conference calling allows you to be heard and we are there to provide support and listen to you.
      We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to

  • #21
    Hello,

    I am 13 years old and I want to move our because I want to be independent and start a business. Are there any high paid jobs I can do at my age so I can afford a house and basic necessities?

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It's great to hear that you are driven and have goals in mind. Generally speaking, you cannot be employed while underage - there are exceptions to this but they usually involve permits and parental consent. Additionally, most companies will not rent or sell a home to a minor. It may be beneficial to speak with your parents about your desire to work and to start a business to see if they can be of any assistance.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #22
    I’m 13 and I’ve had depression for over 2 years now, I go to therapy, but it feels like at home every one is so mean to me. And can’t tell that I’m broken. I don’t know anywhere else to go, it sounds weird but I really want to have my house/ apartment. I know I have nothing to compare to other kids who don’t have a home at all.
    i know I’m too sensitive. But I don’t know how to change, therapy is not working for me. Sometimes I just wish I was never born. And I thought maybe I can move in with a friend, but I barely have friends. I know I sound so selfish because I have a lot, a home, food, a education, right now all I want is to live on my own. I’m sorry

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re here to listen and to help as much as we can.
      First, don’t feel guilty about being unhappy. It’s great that you appreciate that you have the stability of home, food and school, but if you are unhappy, it is also healthy to aspire to something better. It’s also good to know that you’re sensitive. Although we can’t do a lot about the way we are, self-awareness is the first step towards accepting yourself, sharing your knowledge of yourself with others and finding a place in the world that can make you happy. If you know you’re sensitive, you can learn skills to protect yourself from things that could make you unhappy. Have you had an opportunity to discuss finding those skills with your therapist? If not, you might try.

      It’s good that you have a therapist, although you said it’s not working for you. Therapy is an investment, and you build a relationship with a therapist, but if it’s not working for you, it is also possible to change therapists. Even if there are no easy solutions, you should feel supported and respected by your therapist, and if that basic level of support isn’t there, maybe another therapist would be more helpful to you.

      It sounds like you think a change would be helpful to you, and you’ve mentioned that change being living on your own or maybe with a friend. Would there be other changes that might be more attainable and maybe things you could do soon? For example, are there any activities that you might enjoy, whether arts, sports, church, children, that you could get involved with for the summer? You might find something you enjoy, get away from the people at home who are mean to you, and make a friend or two along the way.

      Finally, you mentioned that everyone at home is mean to you. You didn’t mention whether this is parents or brothers and sisters, or how they are mean to you, but in general, maybe your therapist could help you with some skills to help you to not be so hurt if they are mean. Or skills to deflect or avoid the mean things that they say or do. Also, does your family know that you perceive them as being mean? When people live together, sometimes they are mean without even knowing it, or could be in a bad mood, or you could take something personally that was just a comment that wasn’t directed towards you. Misunderstandings are common among people who live together, and sometimes those misunderstandings can be understood by talking about them with other family members.

      Thank you for getting in touch with us today. We are also available by telephone 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929), if you would like to talk with us in person, and there is a chat option on our website. Sometimes it is easier to help you during a phone conversation or interactive chat. Best of luck to you, and let us know if we can be of further help to you.

  • #23
    Well...when I was younger my mom married another guy and I have a older sister and now a half little sister and sometimes I think I hate my life and I really do I can’t choose anything for myself and I just want to move out get away and never talk to my family again I want to be older and done with school so I can make my own decisions so I can live the life that I want to live I don’t want to live like my dad or mom I want to live my life and have friends who actually like me and I just want to have what other kids have but because my dad buying all these damn old cars that we don’t even need and it makes everything look so ugly and everything I own is old like from the 1900s and I just don’t want the life that I’m living in right now I want this and I want that but it’s not much to ask for they have the money but they always spend it on stuff that is old all the cars we own was from other people they say it’s a car a car is a car it’s just more cheep but I’m getting picked on at school because of it I just want a deferent life I hope there is a after life and in my next life I want to be more wealthy and have the stuff that my friends have I want to redecorate my room and everything but my parents don’t listen....

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having some difficulty adjusting to a blended family situation. Many people do have a hard time with all the changes that suddenly occur due to that different family dynamic.

      Getting picked on at school is really rough and no one deserves to be treated that way. Kids can be mean to each other about all kinds of material objects. People tend to think that money can solve all their problems but when you look around at all the movie star etc they seem to have as many problems, if not more than the average person. You might want to reach out to a school counselor to talk about your stressful family situation.

      If you really have an interest in decorating your room there are ways to do it cheaply. There are a lot of great ideas on the internet. Just painting a room is something that you might be able to bring up first since it is rather inexpensive. Perhaps you could start thinking about ways to get your own spending money to start this project and just feel better about your situation. Lots of younger people do things like babysitting or dog walking to start earning some spending money.

      Again, we are glad that you reached out to us. Clearly you are trying to figure things out right now which is a good thing. If you would like to talk further we want you to know that we are here at the National Runaway Safeline 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

  • #24
    Hi im 13 going to be 14 next week. And my mother isn’t allowing me to see my grandparents because my mother and them had a falling out recently. I want to know if there’s anything i can do to help myself because ive been very sad lately and being away from them doesn’t help. I sometimes just burst of crying in the restroom because I can no longer hold in my emotions. I need help, any advice ?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey,

      Thanks for contacting the national runaway safeline for support. It can be very frustrating when parents and grandparent cannot get along. It can put a lot of pressure on you to have to deal with that and it’s very brave of you to reach out for help.

      Have you tried talking to your parents or anyone else about how you are feeling and how it is effecting your life? You can always reach out to NAMI which is a national hotline for National Alliance on Mental Illness (1-800-950-NAMI, Text NAMI to 741741, or www.nami.org). We also offer a resource called conference call were we mediate a conversation between you and your parents using this resource we act as unbiased third party to help move along the conversation.

      Please feel free to contact with any more questions that you might have. You can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAy (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.
      Best of luck to you NRS

  • #25
    Hi I am 13 years old and I want to move in with my friend my father has hurt me physically and mentally and my mom threatens me all the time

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.

      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • #26
    I am currently in a situation where I’m not the happiest and I want to just run away and live with one of my friends. My mother is difficult and is very serious about eating healthy,so when my grandma would bring me money for lunch she would get very mad at me and her and finally she’s kinda kicked me out,but hasn’t,because she will only send me to my grandmas or family.since I don’t want to Be with them she’s forcing me to stay,and she’s saying that where ever she is I have to Be,I have no privacy and her house isn’t a home I’m only 12 and need help

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult situation. Everyone deserves to be happy in their life and we are sorry that you are not happy with your situation. If you ever wanted to talk with someone or needed counseling referrals you can call NAMI (national alliance on mental illnesses) they can be reached at 1800-960-NAMI.
      You also mentioned wanting to runaway we are not legal experts but do have some general information. If you were to leave home without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police did find you they most likely would bring you home.
      We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options further please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • #27
    My mom is goimg blind and I don't want to live with her she's letting my sister smoke she's letting her do anything else I want to live with my uncle is there anything you can do if not then thats ok

    Comment


    • #28
      I’m 13 and I want to move out would it be leagal if I moved out and in with my sister who is 18? They are abusive verbally and physically. What do I do?

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us at NRS, we are sorry that home is not a good place for you.

        Looking at your situation, we are happy that your sister is offering you live with her, however, there could be complications with that. You are still considered a minor at the age of 13 and if you leave without your parents’ consent a runaway report can be filed. Which means if the cops were able to find you they will most likely return you home to your legal guardian. At NRS we are not legal experts but we can offer general knowledge. Earlier you mentioned there was verbal and physical abuse. We encourage that you report the abuse so action could be made so it can hopefully help you in your situation. We encourage you call Child Help, there number is 1-800-422-7743. They are experts on the subject and could begin the process of reporting the abuse that you’re going through.

        If you want more information about the things we talked about today feel free to give us a call 1-800-786-2929 we ae 24/7.

        Best,

        NRS

    • #29
      my dad and step mom fight so much it got so bad this last time there was blood. all my dad does is yell at me and my step mom hates me. my mom died so i dont really have anymore family that cares. i need out of here

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Your dad and step mom's fighting sounds like it's really scary to be around and if you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        Stay safe,
        NRS
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