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13 years old and want to move out

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  • 13 years old and want to move out

    I'm living with my mom who is too irresponsible to be a mom and all of her decisions are affecting pretty much my entire life. My friend said that if her parents said it was okay, they would let me move in. What would be the legal process of a 13 year old moving out?

  • #2
    RE:13 years old and want to move out

    Hey there,
    Asking anyone for help can be kind be pretty difficult so we want to thank you for reaching out to us. We are here to listen and help. Its sounds like you’re in a struggle with certain conditions at home you and from what you’ve told us you feel some disconnection with your mother. We know family dynamics can be stressful but it sounds like you’re an understanding and strong individual.
    A main concern you shared with us was leaving home. Before you decide to make a decision we thought you should know that because you are a minor if you do runaway ( leave home without consent) your mother could file a runaway report. If the police should find you they would be obligated to take you back home. In terms of getting consent from your mother to move in with your friend, we are not legal experts but the process would include full consent and possibly a change in temporary guardianship. If you’d like to know more about the legal process we could always refer you to legal aid in your area. Another option is confronting your mom about your feelings. Sometimes talking with parents about your feelings can be difficult and intimidating, but having mediator with conversations like these can help. We provide a conference call service which basically involves us calling a parent, letting them know who we are and then proceed with a conversation where both sides of the call are heard and respected. We could also provide you with some sort of family counseling resource in your area. If you are interested in any of the following or just talk further about the situation feel free to give us a call at 1800RUNAWAY. If you should feel at any point that you are in danger at home, the police is always an option.
    Again we’re really glad you opened up to us and if you wish to talk further about the situation feel free to give us a call. We are here to listen. Here to help. Best of luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      My father doesn't understand how he's verbal and emotional abusive. It's affecting me so much. I think about killing myself and ending it all so I don't have to deal with it. My father doesn't understand that he makes me feel ugly and insecure. He makes me feel like there no hope for anymore. He makes me feel like if I were dead I wouldn't have to make his world so terrible and that I wouldn't waste his energy and money and he could focus on my baby sister like he does now.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing what you've been going through. You're not alone and you've taken a really brave step by reaching out for help. No one should say hurtful things to you like that, and it makes sense that it's making you feel hopeless. Your feelings matter and so do you. There may be options for you that could help you feel better at home, and ways to feel more hopeful.

        The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free hotline that you can call anytime if you are feeling emotional distress or thinking about killing yourself, and that number is 1-800-273-8255. You can also chat with them anytime at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You don't have to hurt yourself. You can also call us any time if you want to talk, and if you are in immediate danger you should call 911.

        It must be very difficult facing verbal and emotional abuse from your father. We understand how hard it is to feel like you're not getting the love and support you need from a parent, and it sounds like he's said some hurtful things to you. Sometimes it can help to ask the person who is being mean to you to listen to your feelings and consider how they treat you. If asking your father to hear you out sounds like an option, you could try writing down your feelings and planning out what you want to say to him in advance, focusing on "I statements" like "when you say this, I feel __." Picking a time and place to have the conversation when you think he will pay attention is also something to consider.

        If you would like help having that conversation with your father, you can call us anytime to talk about options.

        Is there anyone else in your life you could talk to about what you are going through with your father? Maybe you can tell your mother or another family member how you are feeling. You could also talk to a friend or a guidance counselor at your school.

        NRS is here to listen and here to help. If you would like to share more about your situation and perhaps explore some options that might help bring some common ground, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org

        You did a great job reaching out today.

        Take care,
        NRS

    • #4
      13 years old and want to move out,
      My grandma hates my mom, my grandma yells at me and just isn't the best person that I want to live with, please help.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It must be exhausting and extremely draining to be having your grandparents be yelling at you all the time. You are doing the best that you can. Whoever your guardian is has to give you permission to move out and live somewhere else, otherwise it is illegal to move out of home at age 13. If there is another family member or friend that lives nearby who is willing to have you move in and capable of taking care of you. Then you would need permission from your guardian to do that. If you move to another house away from your guardian we recommend that you have a paper signed that says your guardian is giving you permission to live with someone else. When thinking about wanting to move out of the house it is sometimes helpful to do a pro and cons list about moving out. It is not a small decision to move out of your grandparents house. If you need any help or just want someone to talk to about it, you can call us at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also go on our website www.1800RUNAway.org and do the message service and do a live chat with a liner.

    • #5
      13 years old, want to move in with my grandparents. my mother spanked me with a belt, leaving bruises and whelps. step dad threatens me and I do not feel safe staying in this house anymore. they often get drunk and I don't like being here when they are like that. I want to live with my grandparents.

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there. Thanks so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing part of your story with us. We can only imagine what you must be going through. No one deserves to be abused in any way and everyone deserves the right to feel safe and to be treated with respect and dignity. Its understandable why you wouldn’t want to be at home when your parents make you feel scared and unsafe. It might be helpful to speak with your grandparents about what you’ve been feeling if you haven’t already. It may be possible that your grandparents can talk with your parents about letting you come stay with them for a while. Also, if you are feeling unsafe and need immediate help please do not hesitate to contact the police. Aside from that you also have the right to file an abuse report with child protective services. If you need help doing this feel free to reach out to our hotline or you may want to contact the National Abuse Hotline also known as Child Help at 1800-422-4453. If you would like to discuss your situation and possible options further please feel free to reach out to us via phone at 1800-786-2929 or come chat with us at 1800runaway.org. We hope this information was helpful to you. Please stay safe. All the best, NRS.

    • #6
      Hey....I want to live with my mom or dad.At first they got drunk and they were unstable but they changed.I just cant take it anymore my auntie and cousin called me a B***h twice I have scares on me I am alway in trouble when I did not even do anything.They treat me like I am there maid......they always tell me to clean the whole house.I talked to my parent and they said they are going to do there best but is is kind of hard becuse they have done a lot of things and tge police have to make sure it is safe for me.I just want youguys to no you are not by yourselves there is always someone in your same situation.
      Call 1-800-RUNAWAY if you are thinking of running from home, if you have a friend who has runaway, or if you are a runaway ready to go home.

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe, NRS

    • #7
      my mother is crazy and can’t take responsibility for anything she does. i do not have good mental heath but i am to young to leave. i can’t live with my father because doesn’t want me to live with him and he couldn’t be able to take care of me. but i can not live in this house any longer. she is the most narcissistic and self absorbed person that doesn’t even realize what she does. what options are there for me to get out

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello There,
        Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to listen and here to help. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now. We are not legal experts but we do have general information on the laws. If you were to leave home without permission your legal guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they would most likely bring you home.
        One option you could consider is to try and talk with your school counselor about what is going on. You could also try and see if there are any family members or friends you could stay with. If there is abuse at home or if you do not feel safe you always have the right to call the police.
        We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you would like to explore your options more or have any other questions please give us a call. We wish you the best of luck!
        NRS

    • #8
      Hi, i'm pretty sure that the situation I'm in is abusive and I want to get out as soon as possible. I only recently turned thirteen, however I can't stay here any longer, or at least I can't stand to stay here any longer. I'm looking to go live with a relative or a friend, but I don't think anyone would be willing to take me in. I'm suicidal and life is becoming unbearable. I'm looking to contact a counselor, but I'm not sure if that's the best course of action, as telling counselors about any abuse that's going on will likely jeopardize my siblings. I cannot contact the police for the same reason. The biggest problem lies with my mother, she hates me. I'm pretty sure they'd (my parents) be willing to let me leave voluntarily, since they don't want me. I'm not sure what i'm going to do in terms of financial support, since i'm only thirteen and am not able to actually get a job.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now and we hope to be able to help. We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused and feel like they are not loved by their parents. You should not have to go through that. Talking to others about the abuse that you are experiencing can be scary. You can always make an anonymous call to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 if you want more information about abuse reporting.

        We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a minor if your parents didn’t give you permission to stay there. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

        If you don’t feel safe and feel like you need to get away Nationalsafeplace.org provides a safe location for you to meet a staff member who can take you to a designated place where you can discuss all options about how to stay safe. You can text 44357 the word “safe,” and your location to find a safe location in your area. Once you arrive let someone who works there know you need help connecting with a staff member.

        You also mention feeling suicidal. We want you to know that you can always call the police right away if you feel you may be a harm to yourself or others. If suicide is an option you are seriously considering, or just want to talk about, you can call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. We are open to talking about suicide as well, and you can trust that we will be nonjudgmental, nondirective (meaning we won’t tell you what to do), and supportive in your decisions.

        One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to ask your mom if you can go live with someone else or how you have been feeling. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you.
        Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline at 1-800Runaway (786-2929) or use our live chat. We hope this information was helpful and take care.

        -NRS.

    • #9
      My mom makes me watch my 3 baby sister intill3:00am knowing i have school and makes me do everything like im the mom. All she wants to do is party with her friends like shes a teenager, i cant even live my life. Because im always watching kids or cleaning up. She wont let me go no where unless im with my older siser. Ive thought about killing myself but i dont want my sisters to be here with her alone. I just dont know what to do so i think im going to call child protective services to help me have a better life for me and my sisters.

      Comment


      • #10
        Reply: My mom makes me watch my 3 baby sister



        Hello,
        Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You showed some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you.
        We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        To contact child protective services call Child Help 1-800-422-4453

        You did a good job reaching out today.
        Take care,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #11
          i want to move out to. my mother casually verbally abuses me. my father died a few weeks ago, and all she does is eat up peoples pity. we fight so much its crazy. she tells me that he wouldn't be proud of who i was. she tells me she doesn't need me. the fact that she uses my father who i watched die against me is horrible to me. i absolutely and completely hate her and have no remorse or love for her. i don't even know what to do.

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

            Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

            Be safe,

            NRS

        • #12
          Hi I’m 13 years old and my mom and step dad are both addicted to oxy and our house is infested with roaches and unsafe to live in I want to move in with my best friends parents who would take me in people have called cos Before but my mom told us that if we set them up then we would be in trouble and we moved in with her dad but then she started dating A Daddy again and we got taken back to her house is there any way I could find a way out? My best friends parents would take me in gladly but my mom would never give me up I don’t think.
          Last edited by ccsmod4; 06-05-2019, 03:23 AM.

          Comment


          • #13
            Reply: Hi i’m 13 years old and my mom

            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

            We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
            We are sorry that things are not going well between you and your mom. That must be pretty hard for you. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you would like to see that the situation change with you going to stay with a friend and their family. We understand how frustrating it must be for you and would like you to know NRS is here to support you during this time. Sometimes it helps to talk about a situation and explore options on what might be the best way to bring about change. If you would like to talk more about your situation and how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org

            We look forward to hearing from you.

            Take care,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #14
              Hi... I'm 13... My parents have been divorced since I was 18 months old and I have 6 siblings besides myself (5 at my dad's house and 1 at my mom's house)... At my mom's, she doesn't realize it, but she makes fun of me and verbally abuses me. All she cares about is my education... She controls what I wear and sets her standards for me so high that it's hard to keep up... Don't get me wrong, I love my family and they love me, but I just can't be myself at her house...

              I want to move into my dad's house permanently, but I don't know what to do... Any advice?

              Comment


              • #15
                Reply: Hi... I'm 13... My parents

                Hello,
                Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

                We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You showed some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you. Sometimes communication can be tough. In this situation it seems that your feelings are not being considered or heard. Sometimes trying finding a different way to express yourself can be helpful. Options to consider might be to write a note or letter explaining how you feel. Another might be family counseling.
                You don’t deserve to be abused in any way. It’s not your fault that she does this.

                We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

                Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

                We hope to hear from you soon.

                Take care,
                NRS
                Last edited by ccsmod4; 06-07-2019, 04:20 AM.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment

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