Moving with friends family

[Unregistered]

I live in Virginia and I am 16. I live in a very negative environment. My mother is in denial about everything that she does not like, knowing that communication is key, we talk often. But when we talk I try and say that the house is a bit negative (NOTE: the abuse is VERY indirect) she fumes up and starts yelling and acting 8. Personally, growing up this way, I did not realize it at all. I have been talking about this to my close friends and when they sleep over they see it clearly. She has had a bit more stress but the thing is is that she makes it harder than it really is. Really want input also, thank you

[ccsmod9]

RE: Moving with friends family

Hello,

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We’re sorry to hear about how things are going at home. It must be difficult to feel like you’re living in a negative place where your voice isn’t heard. It’s great that you’ve been able to find support from your friends. It also seems that you’re really understanding of your mom’s situation by acknowledging the stress in her life, though this is not to excuse the way she is treating you.

Although you’ve identified this as indirect abuse, it sounds like you and mom have an open dialog going. It sounds like she isn’t as receptive about this as you’d like. Would you feel comfortable opening up about this with another family member or a friend that might be able to help you talk to her? If not, that’s ok.

You could try calling us here at 1-800-786-2929. We’d be able to offer serving as a mediator on the phone with you and your mom. How that works is you would call us and ask to do a conference call with your mother. We could set expectations and rules for the call with you beforehand and let mom know about them when we bring her into the conversation. Then we let the two of you talk out your differences and intervene if things start to get out of hand or if someone breaks the rules we set up. If you’d feel comfortable doing that, we’d be happy to help!

You mentioned moving in with a friend’s family in the title. We are not legal experts here, but if that was an option you were seriously considering, you might check with a legal aid about how something like that could be initiated. If you called our hotline or went on our live chat, we could refer you to one in your area. If you decided to leave home without your mother’s permission, she might file a runaway report with the police. Generally speaking, this would mean the police could try to find you and return you home. Sometimes whoever you’re staying with could be charged with “Harboring a Runaway”, which is usually a misdemeanor offense but can vary from state to state. If you wanted to know for sure what would happen, you could call your local police and ask them.

Thanks again for reaching out. We wish you the best of luck to you in this difficult time. Please reach out if you need any more help.

Best,

NRS