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I'm 16 and Want to Move Out of State With My Friend and Their Parents

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  • I'm 16 and Want to Move Out of State With My Friend and Their Parents

    Hi, I am a 16 year old male. I do well in school, but I find it hard to fit in at my school because I live in a very religious small town in Arkansas. My best friend moved to Illinois a year ago and we have been best friends for a year or two now. My parents are not abusive or neglective, but they judge me for my religion, like the rest of my town. I have asked my parents on several occasions if I could move in with my friend and give them guardianship, but they always are steaming mad by the end of the conversation. My friend's parents would like me to move in, but with parental consent. My parents threatened to call the police if I did try to move out. My friend's parents are very healthy, and their house holds no danger for me. I am much more responsible than most 16 year olds. Is there any way I can move in without parental consent that allows me to not get emancipated or any other court order. I can transfer schools and transport myself to the new house.

  • #2
    Re: I'm 16 and Want to Move Out of State With My Friend and Their Parents

    Hey there,

    Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, it sounds like you are going through a pretty tough time at this point in your life and we want you to know that we are here to listen and to help in the best way that we can. From what you shared, it sounds like home is not and ideal place for you and you feel like you are ready to leave.

    We want to let you know that we are not legal experts here, meaning that we are only able to speak in general terms. In most states, at 17 you are still considered a minor, which means that if you were to leave without parental consent, your parents are able to file a runaway report. If a report is filed and you are found, typically you would be forced to return home. The part you may want to be weary of is that if you are found living with another adult, that adult could be charged with harboring a runaway. The charges for that vary from fines to jail time. The best way to find out the answers to your questions is by reaching out to your local police department and asking some general questions.

    Our lines are available 24/7, this is the fastest method you would be able to get in touch with us. We are more than willing to listen to your situation and help in the best way that we can. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), we also have a live chat program, it seems like that would work best since you are unable to get to a phone. As we mentioned, we would be more than happy to talk about your situation and see what the best way that we can help you is. We wish you the best of luck and hope to get your call or chat soon.

    Stay strong,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm 16 and my parents moved out to Phoenix Arizona like 6- 7 months ago I came from Rochester NY and I'm having a rough time here. I wish to live with my best friend in ny but Everytime I ask if I can live w her they get so mad at me. My ma and I aren't close at all neither me and my step dad. I get punished for little things like staying up late on the game which they took everything away forever which I need to stay sane Because I have no one here to talk to or trust. Could y'all help me to move to ny??
      Last edited by ccsmod1; 12-10-2019, 01:23 PM.

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It makes sense that you would want more independence and autonomy. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

        It seems like your mom and step dad aren’t fully understanding you when you are trying to relay your thoughts and feelings about how the move is impacting you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom and step dad so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        Stay safe,
        NRS

    • #4
      I'm 16 and still live at home. I am part of the LGBT community and because of it, my parents don't like having me around as much as before I came out. I do well in school. Good grades, I take advanced classes and I have experience in the work field. My mom and step-dad don't get along with me as well as they do my 4 other siblings. I'm always the one they blame for everything, even if it's not my fault. My parents like to pick favorites, and since I'm the middle child and queer, they choose me to hate on the most. I am fully aware of what is expected of me in the real world and feel as though I can take care of myself. I have a place I could possibly go, but if it fails, what are the chances of being sent home?

      Comment


      • #5
        Hello and thanks for sharing your story on our forum! We are sorry to hear your parents don’t like having you around as much as before you came out. We recognize how hard coming out can be and give kudos to you for being true to yourself! We hope you realize you deserve to live in a loving and supportive environment regardless of your sexual orientation/identity. Once place you might find support is the Trevor Project. They offer a variety of services to young folks in the LGBT community. Feel free to check them out here: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/.

        It sounds like you are seriously considering leaving home and have figured out a place you can probably go. At the same time, you ask what the chances of being sent home are if your plan fails. It’s great you are trying to work things out ahead of time. Please know that we are not here to judge you, tell you what to do, etc. We care about your safety and recognize there is a whole lot of uncertainty happening right now due to COVID-19. In terms of being sent home, that is often the case if a runaway/unaccompanied minor is picked up or stopped by law enforcement. We are here if you’d like to continue talking about your situation. We invite you to talk to us one-on-one through our Live Chat here: https://na0messaging.icarol.com/Cons...d=254&cc=en-US.
        We hope this gives you a start and wish you the best of luck!

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #6
          hi, i’m 16 years old and want to move out of state to my friends house in the state of Illinois, i currently am living in Michigan. i have multiple reasons on why i would like to move. this household is very toxic, negative, trauma, drama, arguing, fighting, yelling, screaming etc. my friends house is a very good stable home. my friends parents would like me to get out of here to be with them. i wanted to know if it was possible without any parental consent, and emancipation and any other court order etc. my mother and grandmother are both alcoholics and all they do is fight, hit each other etc. it’s sad to say i’m scared to be living in this household. i’ve been here for a good 4 years now. but have been dealing with it for 16 years and i’m mentally and physically drained from it. i asked my mother multiple times if i could move and all she would do is threaten me, call the police and so on so forth. my friends family treats me the way i actually should be treated and it’s a very good warm fuzzy feeling. when here it’s nothing but crying, panic attacks, anxiety attacks for me. my friends household actually shares laughs with one another, spends quality time with each other, never argues, never hits one another, aren’t alcoholics, aren’t toxic, aren’t negative, never scares me the way my family scares me etc…i can get all of the stuff needed to move such as: birth certificate, medical card, insurance card, my social and id whenever it comes through the mail, transcripts to get into a new school etc. i just have been wanting a break for way to long now.

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi thank you for reaching out to NRS! It sounds like you have been through a lot and that your home environment is pretty rough. In most cases parental consent is needed when a youth is underage and wants to live outside the home. If a runaway report is made, there could be legal consequences for your friend’s family. They could be charged with harboring a runaway. In regards to emancipation, it varies based on state. Generally though, it can be a lengthy process and you would need to prove financial independence. It sounds like your friend’s home environment is very stable. Speaking with your school counselor might be an option. They could potentially file something with child protective services on your behalf and record what you are experiencing at home. This could be useful if you choose the emancipation route. Reaching out to legal aid could also help provide other options. We encourage you to reach out to NRS too anytime via our hotline or online chat system. We are available 24/7. Stay strong and stay safe!
            NRS

        • #7
          Hello i’m 15 and when i turn 16 i am wanting to move out of my home. I was diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, depression, and anger issues and have a hard time sleeping. I take all my pills on time and i feel great when on them but there’s a problem. My parents both are all ways so hard on me about school and sports and i can’t ever seem to get a break. All i want is for them to understand what i am going through and help me along the way. I love them to death but they are always arguing with me and when i say something i get yelled at for it and then they go and tell me the same thing. I am always stressing about everything and my parents just seem to make it worse. After an argument i can’t brush it off my chest and just get so mad. My parents will argue with me yelling at me then come to my room 30 minutes later acting fine telling me there sorry and it just messes with my head. all i want to do it get along with them they had done the same thing with my sister and she moved out ass soon as she turned 18 but i just feel i cannot continue with all of it. what should i do?

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanks for reaching out to us at the Runaway Safeline. Your situation sounds stressful and you deserve to be supported and treated with respect.
            Generally, if you are underage and leave home without your parents’ permission, they can file a runaway report with the police and they will return you to your parents’ home. The adults you stay with could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. Therefore, the easiest way to leave home is if you can get your parents’ permission to stay with your friend’s family, or perhaps one of your own relatives, for a bit. Another option, if you feel their verbal abuse is severe, is to contact Child Protective Services (CPS) and file a report with them. They may investigate and could have you removed from your home if they felt it necessary. A third option for leaving home is to file for emancipation, but this is a complex process which takes a long time to resolve.
            Since you are taking psychiatric medications, we wonder if you are also seeing a therapist or psychiatrist to treat your issues? If so, they might be a good resource to discuss the difficulties you are having with your parents. They might be able to help you work on a resolution to your conflict, or work on ways to cope with your difficult situation.
            We are here to support you as you figure out what is best for your situation. Please feel free to call us or chat with us online at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)/ 1800runaway.org if you would like to talk in more detail. Good luck!
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