18 and want to run away!!!

[Unregistered]

Hello im turning 18 in a few months, i live in california and want to know if i can leave my home right after my birthday? My mother is over protective and controlling, and always says cruel things like i wish u were never born etc! She has this mentality that i have to live with her forever. My sister is 28 and she is still under my moms controll, she cant even have her own car. In fact for college my mother wont even let me go to my dream college because she wants me to stay home and still live with her. She wont let me make my own decisions and thats depressing. I never go out with friends, she doesnt even let me have friends. Im inside the house all the time, the only time i can be myself is at school.
Im tired of her caging me . She even gets mad when i talk to my dad! She doesnt allow me to talk to him anymore. He henceforth i want to move away after my birthday when i turn 18. I will be traveling to a foreign country amd getting married with my bf. She always threatens that she will make me come back if i run awaay. And that no matter waht she will find me , and threatens to kill me if thats what it takes dor me to understand shes my mother and will always be. Can she make me come back home at 18

[ccsmod1]

RE: 18 and want to run away!!!

Thanks for reaching out to us for help. It sounds like you are going through so much right now. Your mother’s controlling behavior sounds like it has really taken a toll on you and it is understandable that you would want to move out and pursue your own goals. It sounds hurtful that she doesn’t allow you to go out, have friends, or even talk to your father.
At 18 years old, you are considered a legal adult in the US. Despite your mother’s threats, she will have no legal authority over you once you are 18, and legally you are free to make decisions for yourself and live wherever you want to without consulting her. While she cannot make law enforcement bring you back home, her financial and support obligations to you also end when you turn 18, so it can be helpful to have a plan in place for where you will go and how you will survive. You wrote that she threatened to kill you if you move out. That sounds really scary. If you ever think you might be in danger, you can always call 911 or go to a safe location and call us to discuss options. It takes a lot of strength to move out on your own in these circumstances. Although your mother might try whatever she can to make you come home, she doesn’t have any official legal recourse to force you back against your will if you decide to leave.
You said you are planning to go to a foreign country and get married to your boyfriend. One thing you might consider is that you usually need permission to visit, live in, or get married in a different country. You will probably need a passport and a marriage visa at the very least. If you need help figuring out a plan for somewhere to go, we can help you with that. Moving out on your own can be overwhelming, but it sounds like you have a few months to make a plan and we can help you with resources. If you need to talk, we are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

[Unregistered]

Re: 18 and want to run away!!!

thxso much for your help. i feel more confident now. yes i have a passport and everything ready. and i indeed do have a place to stay. hopefully ill be going to live with my father, after getting married while i find a way to be on my own. i mean i love my mom and i know she means well sometimes but she should still allow me to make my own decision, as well as give space. in fact one time when i was 14 i no longer wanted to live with her and that year was bad, soo we got i in a fight and told her i would rather be in foster care. so she said ok so she drove me to the police station, and was going to take me in to leave me, when she got out of the car, she put a nife in her skirt and threatened to take it out when she entered the police station, henceforth attacking a police so they would shoot her and kill her, and in that way i would be guilty of her death, and that everyone in my family would hate me. soo as you may assume, i didnt enter the police station because i didnt want her to die. so i have put up with her since then, but no longer will, even though she threatens that i cant leave her by law until im 21. however now i know the reality. if i were to travel with my passport and everything neccessary, would i need a travel consent form even though im 18, or can i now travel with parental consent? because i know she would never give me the consent if thats the case.

[ccsmod16]

Re: 18 and want to run away!!!

Hello,
Thank you for responding to us on our bulletin board. It sounds like living with your mom has been a struggle and it is understandable the reason you would want to leave. It sounds like you are putting some thought into whats best for you and how to go about it. Here at NRS we’re not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms. As mentioned earlier, once you turn 18 your parents are no longer legally responsible for you and cannot force you to do anything against your will. Regarding your question, from a general viewpoint, you do not need parental consent to leave the country to get married. We hoped this helped and if you want to discuss your situation in greater detail you can give us a call on our hotline or chat with us on our online services. We wish you the best of luck and look forward to speaking with you.