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  • ranaway from fostercare

    Hi I'm going to be 18 In September. I ran away from a group home in new Hampshire about 7 months ago, because child services wouldn't let me see my mom and took away custody for neglect and my dad lives in a different state (Massachusetts) and doesn't want custody. My mom knows where I am and that I am safe living with my boyfriend in Massachusetts.. I turned myself in 2 months in, and ran again 5 days later. My boyfriend and i want to get married. We are trying for a baby, and we love each other very much. I just don't know if it can happen legally? I know my mom would sign giving me permission but I know my dad wont... He wants nothing to do with me. Can I get married with just one parent? Will I get caught by child services? I need to get a job and finish school. This whole thing is way out of proportion now and I don't know what to do. My life is on hold and I really need answers please

  • #2
    Re: ranaway from fostercare

    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It is courageous of you to reach out and share your story with us. We appreciate that and are glad you wrote to us. It sounds like a lot has happened during the past year, and since you are nearing 18 in September you seem to be exploring what your next steps in life will be. It's great that you are trying to plan things out. You mentioned wanting to get married and have a baby with your boyfriend, and you are wondering if getting married at 17 is legal. Unfortunately we are not legal experts, however, general law states that in order to marry without parental/guardian permission one must be their own legal guardian. Otherwise an appointed legal guardian would have to give permission for that to happen. In order to marry, a marriage license is needed and a marriage of minors application with a legal guardian's signature is most often required. If one parent has full rights to give permission, it seems that you would be able to get married. Regarding child services, we are uncertain if you would be caught or if anything would happen either. Oftentimes, talking with someone with legal background may be able to better guide you and provide answers about marrying at 17. Massachusetts children and family services may be an option you can turn to regarding getting married. We can provide you with legal resources if you were interested.

    The following website has some information on marriage laws and steps as a minor about what is needed to marry. Additionally, you would be able to find a local probate or district court in your area to contact and receive more specific answers from.
    http://www.mass.gov/portal/articles/...achusetts.html

    Your city town clerk may also be able to answer some questions. You can find your local office through the following link http://www.sec.state.ma.us/ele/eleclk/clkidx.htm.

    This all sounds quite stressful for you, and we want you to know we are here for for support if you would like to talk more about what you're going through.

    We hope this helps, and we look forward to your reply. As always you can chat with us through www.1800runaway.org or call in at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    We wish you luck and hope you stay safe,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      re: ranaway from fostercare

      Thank you for the reply I've been dying to figure this out ever since I ran away. I'm also curious as to if I was on the run until I'm 18, would I have to turn myself in, would I get into any trouble? There was no issue at all when i turned myself in the last time. They just said basically whatever and put me in foster care the next day all over again. To be honest, I'm really not too sure if my mom has custody or not, but I do know that cps cannot do anything or make any choices without my mom regarding school and placement. They can't take any action without my mom's signature. So I guess she still has legal power I just "am not safe in her house" which isn't even true. I know that courts can turn down a marriage document, but I fear that because I'm not pregnant they will not grant permission. In my eyes youngmarraige isn't about a baby and family ties though, I really do want to spend my life with him. But I know it would make my emotional level a hell of a lot easier if I wasn't trapped in his house all day. Don't get me wrong I'm living the life, all I do is wash dishes and clean a little bit to show my gratitude because I can't get a job, but even though it's such an easy time, I have to say I haven't gone a week without crying. I'm constantly worrying and I have so much stress that my hair comes out in chuncks when I brush it, and I've had two miscarriages. It's worrying me about my health now too because I'm overdue for the doctors, and I have a cavity and I can't do anything about anything. I'm scared that I'll never get my life straight now.

      I just looked at some other posts, and I went on the national website for missing children and typed in all my information and I don't even pop up. Is there a chance that I'm not even listed as a runaway and could actually do stuff with my life?
      Last edited by ccsmod6; 02-10-2016, 06:40 AM. Reason: same user (merged posts)

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      • #4
        Re: ranaway from fostercare

        Hello again,

        It definitely sounds like things have been stressing you out beyond belief. You mentioned that your health is suffering. We are very sorry about the struggles you have had with your pregnancies. Your safety and well-being is important. We can provide resources for health clinics that you can go to such as Planned Parenthood. There are often free clinics and agencies that help pregnant teens classified as a runaway or not. Generally, healthcare staff would not report you as a runaway or turn you in if this is something you fear. From what you shared, it seems you may not have been reported as a runaway either.

        It seems having direct answers about what would most likely happen is something that would ease your mind so that you can focus on your health and your future. Unfortunately, we can't say specifically what would happen because we don't know the law well enough, and we are unsure of how Massachusetts handles runaway cases especially because you'll be 18 in about seven months. You seem to know a little about how things worked last time you ran. However, for more specific information on the law it is recommended to consult with local police and/or legal aid office which we provided a few resources to you in an earlier reply. If you need help contacting agencies, we are here to help. We are free, confidential, nonjudgmental, and here to listen and to help.

        If you would like to speak further about your situation, we recommend chatting with us or calling in. We limit responses for emails and forum posts due to the high volume of contacts. We also can offer immediate services through chat or phone. We do hope to hear from you soon so that we can help.

        Be safe and be well,

        NRS
        Last edited by ccsmod6; 02-10-2016, 07:00 AM.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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