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  • I'm 15 and want to live with my boyfriend

    Hi, I am 15 and want to move out of my mother's house. Her and my dad have been split up since I was little and she had always taken the child support for herself. She did this with my sister too. I want to move in with my boyfriend who is 18 but is currently living at home. His mom said I can move in and she said she moved in with her boyfriend at the same age as me. I don't want to move in with my dad because he has a drinking problem and I would have to move to a different school with people I really don't get along with. I just really don't know what to do or if this is legal. Please help.

  • #2
    RE: I'm 15 and want to live with my boyfriend

    Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have are in a difficult situation, but it is a great first step to reach out for help.
    It sounds like you are a little confused at what to do or what your options are. We are not legal experts here, but generally speaking since you are a minor, if you choose to live with your boyfriend without your mother’s permission, she can file a runaway report with your local police department. This means that the police will attempt to return you home. If this happens, your boyfriend and/or his mother could face legal issues for harboring a runaway. Some other aspects to consider prior to moving in is how long do you plan to stay with your boyfriend? What will you do in the event that you and your boyfriend break-up? Will you have to pay rent or purchase your own food? Sometimes creating a plan can help you feel more confident in the option you do choose.

    You mentioned that you do not agree with the way your mother spends child support money. Do you feel as though you are not being provided for properly? For example, do you have adequate shelter, is there food in your house? If not, there are legal options you can choose from, such as filing a neglect report. There are a few ways you can go about this. If this is something that interests you call us at 1800-RUNAWAY and we can help navigate you through this process. You can also call us if you are looking for alternative housing options, such as shelters should you ever find yourself in the situation where you are in need.

    Best Wishes,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm 15 years old, I want to move away from my family and move out of my mums house.My boyfriend who Is 15 too said I can move in with him and his mum.My mum wouldn't let that and because I'm underage would rhis afect anything with this situation.

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thanks for reaching out. We’re not legal experts, but generally speaking you need to be 18 in most states to leave home without parental consent. If you leave before that time, your family would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police are able to locate you they will return you home. In addition, any adult you stay with (like your boyfriend’s mum) could be charged with harboring a runaway. If you would like help talking to your mum about the possibility of living with your boyfriend, please feel free to give us a call. We’re happy to mediate the conversation so that it stays fair and hopefully productive.
        Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
        Stay safe!

    • #4
      Im 17 and got my 15 year old girlfriend pregnant, her mom wants to force her to abort without her agreeing she’s been trying to give her a tea that would cause a miscarriage now I’m afraid she might try to put something on her drink or on her food, I’m just trying to be a good father to my unborn child I want my kid to have both parents in his/her life I just want to know if I have any legal options

      Comment


      • #5
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about what has been going on and that sounds like a really hard and scary position to be in. It's nice that she has someone looking out for her and wanting to find her help. We are not legal experts but it does sound like what her mom is doing could be considered abuse. You and her could reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 to ask questions about what her rights are as a minor in her current situation and also about abuse reporting if that was something she wanted to look into. She could also get a lot of answers and help from Planned Parenthood as well. They are confidential and along with giving her the care that she needs for her pregnancy, they can also answer legal questions and possibly provide support and assistance on how to fight for her right to make her own decisions about the pregnancy. You would be able to locate the closest one to you or could call them at 1-800-230-7526 to just ask questions.

        We are also here 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 if you want help going through any of these options or need other help.

        Good luck,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #6
          I’m 17 and i’ve been emancipated by joining the military and my girlfriend that's 15 wants to live with me and i was wondering if it’s legal to or not

          Comment


          • #7
            Hi there,

            Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts, but because your girlfriend is a minor, if she leaves home and her parents file a runaway report, she could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for you for what is called harboring a runaway. We can be reached 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 if you want to walk through other options like us helping her have a conversation about moving out with her parents or help her report if there is abuse or neglect in the home. Let us know how we can best help.

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #8
              Hi my name is Chris I’m 17 and I got my 14 year old girl friend pregnant we both getting kicked out of our homes and I’m trying to be responsible and possible about this we want to rent a room from my friends parents what are we able to do

              Comment


              • ccsmod15
                ccsmod15 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello Chris,

                Thank you for reaching out to NRS and sharing your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your and your girlfriend’s situation, and it is commendable that you two are dedicated to being there for each other.

                In terms of what resources are available, for medical care especially for your girlfriend and the baby, Planned Parenthood is an option for providing those services as well as letting you know what your rights are as a parent. They offer medical care on a sliding scale basis and provide a wide array of services, and can be reached by phone at 1-800-230-7526 and online at plannedparenthood.org.

                In regards to your plan of renting a room, we would encourage you also to consider school enrollment for your girlfriend, how you all would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. For career options, should that be relevant to you, jobcorps.gov offers job training among other resources.

                You mentioned that your girlfriend is fourteen and is being kicked out of her house; this can be considered neglect on her guardian’s part. We understand that that trauma can be difficult to work through and that reporting may not be an option she is comfortable with. However, she does deserve to live in a safe place, and if she wanted to talk more about child abuse reporting or wanted support, Child Help (the National Child Abuse Hotline) could be a resource for learning what reporting would look like. They are accessible by phone at 1-800-422-4453 and online at childhelp.org.

                If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
                We hope this information was helpful and take care.
                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            • #9
              Hey I’m 17 and I got my 14 year old pregnant can we move in together with parent permission I am going to rent a room from my friends parents

              Comment


              • ccsmod6
                ccsmod6 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi, thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We aren't legal experts, but generally speaking, as long as each of you have your parents' permission, preferably in written or recorded form, you should be able to live with one another. We would be happy to discuss your options and potential outcomes with you over chat at 1800runaway.org or on the phone at any time on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY. Thank you again for reaching out.

            • #10
              Hey I am 15 can I move in with my girlfriend that is 16.

              Comment


              • ccsmod9
                ccsmod9 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi there,
                Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
                While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
                We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
                Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
                If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
                Be safe,
                NRS

            • #11
              Hi my names Levi I want my girlfriend to move in with me because her parents abuse her and her Dad Beats her up she 16 what can I do can I go to the police help please help

              Comment


              • ccsmod2
                ccsmod2 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello There,
                Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Wpw it seems like your girlfriend is going through a difficult time. Abuse is never acceptable and her safety is the top concern. You or your girlfriend can make an abuse report by calling The Child Help hotline at 1800-422-4453. We know that sometimes making an abuse report can be scary if you would like our help in making the abuse report please give us a call at any time. Another option you could consider is speaking to your school counselor, they are mandated reporters so they would also be able to help with making an abuse report.
                We are not legal experts but we do have general information on the laws. If your girlfriend were to leave home without permission your legal guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. If the police were to find your girlfriend they most likely would bring her back home if they deemed it safe.
                We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
                NRS

            • #12
              Im 15 and my boyfriend is 16 and we want to move in together but i know if i tell my parents they wont be okay with it

              Help

              Comment


              • ccsmod13
                ccsmod13 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi there,

                Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It is really responsible to reach out for help before making this decision. We are not legal experts by any means, but we can share some general information with you. Leaving before you turn 18 can be difficult since you are still considered a legal minor. If you were to leave without your parents’ permission then they would have the right to file a runaway report. You would not be arrested, but the police would likely return you home if they knew where you were.

                It sounds like you want to move out with your boyfriend but you are hesitant to talk to your parents about it because they might disapprove. We understand these conversations with parents can be difficult and we can help. We can facilitate a conference call between you and your parents so that we can advocate for your needs and make sure you feel heard.

                We are available 24/7 if you would like to talk more about your situation and explore possible options. Do not hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

                Best of Luck,
                NRS

            • #13
              I'm 15 my mom died in April and I want to move in with my boyfriend can I do that?

              Comment


              • ccsmod2
                ccsmod2 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello There,
                Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
                We are sorry about your mother’s passing that can be extremely difficult. We are not legal experts but we do have knowledge. Someone might have gained guardianship over you and if you were to leave home without their permission they have the right to file a runaway report. If the police do find you they most likely would bring you back home. You can try and see if your legal guardian would allow you to stay with your boyfriend but without permission it is considered running away.
                If you would like to talk more or explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
                NRS

            • #14
              Hi, I'm 15 and social services removed me from my moms house because of abuse and neglect. I'm staying with my grandparents at the moment. They have temporary custody of me. Would it be possible at all to live with my boyfriend and his parents, hes 17? I'm depressed and hes the only thing that made me happy. And now I dont think I'll be able to see him.

              Comment


              • ccsmod1
                ccsmod1 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hey there,

                Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It was not OK for your mom to have treated you like that it's apparent how strong and resilient you are for having gone through this.

                That's so great to hear that your boyfriend and his family are such a source of support for you! We aren't legal experts here at NRS, nor are we formally affiliated with social services, so we cannot tell you where they will or won't allow you to stay with your boyfriend and his family. It may be a good idea to reach out to your caseworker or talk to your grandparents about staying with your boyfriend.

                You mentioned that you have been feeling depressed because of all this. It can be really hard to live with mental health issues and we want you to know that you aren’t alone in addressing them. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-800-662-4357 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

                If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

                We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                Stay safe,
                NRS

            • #15
              I am 14 i live with my mother and we are living at her bf place with his mother and his father is a drinker people in the house get drunk almost every day my mother is sometimes emotionaly abusive and i might be pregnant by my 15 year old bf and he lives with his parents and i want to move in with him

              Comment


              • ccsmod15
                ccsmod15 commented
                Editing a comment
                Thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time living with your mom at her boyfriend's parent's home. It sounds like a very stressful environment and you understandably might want out.

                Since you mention you might be pregnant we'd first like to comment on that. The only way to know for sure is if you get a pregnancy test. Here is a link to Plannned Parenthood's website which offers some information about pregnancy testing and where you can get tested: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/pl...gnancy-testing.

                As for your desire to move out: that is understandable, though it may be a bit more complicated than it sounds. There is no state in the US where the age of majority is less than 18. This means you are under your mom's supervision until you are at least 18. If you leave home without permission before then, your mom could file a runaway report on you. Running away isn’t a crime, but it is a status offense like breaking curfew. If found, the police would likely bring you back home. Perhaps more seriously, anyone you stay with could be accused of harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor in most localities. We don’t share this information to persuade you in any way, but only to give you some things to think about.

                One alternative to running away would be to simply ask your mom if you could live elsewhere. If she grants you permission you may want to get it in writing. Of course, even if she givse you permission to live somewhere else, she does have the right to ask you to come home at any time. If you do decide to ask her if you could leave you may want to give your request some thought beforehand and think of a good time to ask. Maybe you could even try to persuade her that she might be better off if you lived somewhere else. These are just some ideas. You know your situation best.

                Since you mention there is some unhealthy drinking in the house as well as emotional abuse, you also have the option of filing an abuse report on what's going on at home. We know sometimes that is a hard choice to make, but you do have that right. If an abuse report is made it would likely lead to a child protective services investigation. They would likely interview you and your mom and determine what the best course of action is. Sometimes that simply involves talking things through and checking up later to see if things are improving. If things are deemed detrimental to your well being, you could be removed from the home, though this is not always the case. If you want to file an abuse report you can do that through your state's child abuse reporting hotline or through Child Help (www.childhelp.org) at 1-800-422-4453. You can also file through us here at National Runaway Safeline. But again, whether you decide to file or not is up to you. We honor whatever decision you make and support you either way.

                It is probably a good idea to seek out supportive people as much as possible. Your feelings have value and you have the right to be seen and heard. If there is someone in your life that you feel comfortable with and trust, by all means take advantage of talking with them. Perhaps that's a relative, teacher, counselor, religious leader, or anyone you feel safe with. Friends can also support you, but getting an adult involved often may help give you perspective that your peers may lack. Of course, we are here for you whenever you want to talk. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. We are a confidential, safe place to talk about whatever you are going through. We can help you figure out what your best options are and can connect you to resources in our database: shelters, counselors, legal aid, and more. Of course, even if you just need to vent, we are here to listen.

                All the best,
                NRS
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