I need help

[Guest]

I'm 16 and come from an unstable home. My uncle freeloads off of my family a lot of the time and has an alcohol abuse problem and often passes out. My mom and step father fight and argue every day and emotionally manipulate each other and myself. My step brother is constantly in the middle of it all and he is only 3 years old and I don't know what to do. They are quietly fighting for custody and building cases against each other in the same house. I want to run away but I don't want to leave my brother behind and have him grow up like I did in a broken home. I constabtly fight with my step father because he is fake and talks crap about my brother behind his back, cheats on my mom, takes on more and more debt, ********ed over my family's health by not admitting he tested positive for HIV, and having my mother involuntary hospitalized for no ********ing reason and leaving us with a massive hospital bill even though we are BROKE. Today he yelled at me for not trusting him and telling me that my brother is not my brother like he owns him even though he has talked so much ******** about regretting having a child. He kicked me out of his car and made a racist comment about me for being half asian. I told my mom but she doesnt want to sacrifice the financial support he gives us. We cannot afford daycare so my uncle has to continue living with us and wasting my mom's money on alcohol. I feel like I'm going crazy in this house. Every day i spend here I feel suicidal and angry. We are too broke to afford a therapist/counselor/psychologist. I had a chance at free therapy because I was a citizen of my old hometown but then we moved away. We are covered under native American health care but there is a HUGE waiting list for therapy services at our hospital. I have tried scheduling appointments with my school psychologist but she is only at school on certain days and hours for so long and is usually pretty busy with other students. I haven't been diagnosed with any mental illness but I'm pretty sure my mental state isn't normal. Everything in this house just stresses me out. I want out somehow but I don't think I could make it on my own in the real world. I just want to run away to some kind of safe space when I need to but I don't want to be arrested or have anything on my permanent record because I have run away in the past before and gotten reported by my own mother. I would try living with my grandma but I don't want to be removed from my only support system: my friends and teachers. I've been planning on sticking it out until I graduate and saving up for college and a car and an apartment but I don't know where to start. This is my first job and I started only last month. And i am very interested in leaving the country. How much money should I save? What are some resources I can turn to? What can I do about my mental health situation? How can I survive in the real world without having a meltdown and ending it all from the stress? Thanks.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. You mentioned that you have previously run away and that your mom filed a report. Just so you are aware, running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned to your mom and step-father.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being as it seems like there may be some neglect going on. Everyone deserves to live in a home where they feel safe and supported. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member (like your grandmother) or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

You wrote a little bit about struggling with some suicidal thoughts and concern over your mental well-being. It can be really hard to live with mental health issues and we want you to know that you aren’t alone in addressing them. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate additional low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-877-726-4727 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS