I really need guidance, or help. Please.

[Guest]

Hi there,

this may get a little long, or just depressing, or.. I'm not really sure anymore. But, otherwise.

I'm a 17 male, and struggling with more than a few things, Major anxiety, major depression, more than a few other personal issues. I live at my fathers, and I used to live with my mother. She was abusive, used drugs, and had more than a few things to say to ruin me mentally. I just want to say more than a few things to people here, because I seriously need help, I'm not even sure what to do anymore.

I'm more than suicidal, and being in a home where everyone despises me isnt helpful. I don't have friends, and I dropped out of school due to constant anxiety, and bullied the whole time. My school just didn't care of it, unless you had money to spare, and I wish this was all a joke. I just got a job a week ago, and I already quit it. Because I can't handle the anxiety anymore, and having my family constantly throw me down isn't nice. I don't have any friends I can go stay with. Nor with anyone else in my life that cares in general. I feel screwed already, I even have the thought of suicide on my mind right now, it's the reason why I'm here. I'm not sure what is my future. Nobody cares, or understands where I am. They don't believe I'm feeling depressed, and comparing their lives to mine, they are worse, and not even caring slightly.

I'm staying with my father, and who else is here is my grandparents. They all just talk ******** about me completely, saying I'm just a waste of space here, and everything else. I can't work, and they know this. I can't do anything here, without being shut down completely. In a few months or so, I will be 18. But, I won't have anywhere to go. I'm forced to stay here, and I'm already on the hands of suicide, I know I'll do it too. And I'm not even sure what's going to happen anymore. I help others in my freetime, and. I'm not even sure if I can help others anymore, without feeling horrible myself. I'm really depressed, and not sure anymore. Where is my future? I won't have a way of making any money, work is way too bad for me, and I just can't work anymore in general. I'm lacking money, and I'm not even ********ing sure what is going on anymore with my life.

My family shuts me down constantly, and I'm just unsure what's gonna happen anymore. There is so much stuff that's going on, and I'm not sure what's gonna happen. I'm typing here because I'm alone. Nobody in my family or this house cares if I'm dead, or just gone. They don't care about my feelings unless I offer them a drink, or anything with cash.

What is my life going to? What is my life right now? Where is my future? I don't have one. I seriously need help, I really need help. And I'm not even sure what to do anymore. I can't do this anymore. I just need guidance, or anything. If I don't have anything in general in my life. then, what do I do? I really need more than help. A friend even, because I don't have the small things even. I'm just someone desperate for love. And, I don't have that. I have a family that completely shatters me daily, and I'm sitting in a room staring at a screen. Playing a game. I need help. Please.

Hoping this isn't a repost. Apologies.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and live somewhere where they feel safe and secure.

You brought up suicide numerous times throughout your post. We want you to know that contrary to whatever your family members may say you are not a waste of space and that you matter and have worth. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings of depression and anxiety. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time.

If you’d like, you can also look into some other agencies for help with the mental health issues that you’ve been having. One hotline that could be a good fit for you is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can reach them by calling 800-950-NAMI, texting NAMI to 741741 or by going to their site at nami.org. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) may also be able to help you out and locate low cost or free mental health professional in your area. You can call them at 877-726-4727 or go to their site at samhsa.gov.

You’re struggling right now but it will get better and there are other options out there for you. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS