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I'm not sure what to do anymore with my life.

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  • I'm not sure what to do anymore with my life.

    Hi there,

    this may get a little long, or just depressing, or.. I'm not really sure anymore. But, otherwise.

    I'm a 17 male, and struggling with more than a few things, Major anxiety, major depression, more than a few other personal issues. I live at my fathers, and I used to live with my mother. She was abusive, used drugs, and had more than a few things to say to ruin me mentally. I just want to say more than a few things to people here, because I seriously need help, I'm not even sure what to do anymore.

    I'm more than suicidal, and being in a home where everyone despises me isnt helpful. I don't have friends, and I dropped out of school due to constant anxiety, and bullied the whole time. My school just didn't care of it, unless you had money to spare, and I wish this was all a joke. I just got a job a week ago, and I already quit it. Because I can't handle the anxiety anymore, and having my family constantly throw me down isn't nice. I don't have any friends I can go stay with. Nor with anyone else in my life that cares in general. I feel screwed already, I even have the thought of suicide on my mind right now, it's the reason why I'm here. I'm not sure what is my future. Nobody cares, or understands where I am. They don't believe I'm feeling depressed, and comparing their lives to mine, they are worse, and not even caring slightly.

    I'm staying with my father, and who else is here is my grandparents. They all just talk ******** about me completely, saying I'm just a waste of space here, and everything else. I can't work, and they know this. I can't do anything here, without being shut down completely. In a few months or so, I will be 18. But, I won't have anywhere to go. I'm forced to stay here, and I'm already on the hands of suicide, I know I'll do it too. And I'm not even sure what's going to happen anymore. I help others in my freetime, and. I'm not even sure if I can help others anymore, without feeling horrible myself. I'm really depressed, and not sure anymore. Where is my future? I won't have a way of making any money, work is way too bad for me, and I just can't work anymore in general. I'm lacking money, and I'm not even ********ing sure what is going on anymore with my life.

    My family shuts me down constantly, and I'm just unsure what's gonna happen anymore. There is so much stuff that's going on, and I'm not sure what's gonna happen. I'm typing here because I'm alone. Nobody in my family or this house cares if I'm dead, or just gone. They don't care about my feelings unless I offer them a drink, or anything with cash.

    What is my life going to? What is my life right now? Where is my future? I don't have one. I seriously need help, I really need help. And I'm not even sure what to do anymore. I can't do this anymore. I just need guidance, or anything. If I don't have anything in general in my life. then, what do I do? I really need more than help. A friend even, because I don't have the small things even. I'm just someone desperate for love. And, I don't have that. I have a family that completely shatters me daily, and I'm sitting in a room staring at a screen. Playing a game. I need help. Please.

  • #2
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. We hope to hear from you soon. Be safe, NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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