Will my friends parents get in trouble if I run away to her house?

[Deadinside]

Hi, I'm 15 my mother is emotionally abusing me on a daily basis. I have a plan but I don't want my friends parents to get in trouble. Would they?

[ccsmod0]

Re: Will my friends parents get in trouble if I run away to her house?

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are here to help you and provide you support during this time.

It sounds like you are really going through a lot at home right now with your mother. We are sorry to hear that you are being emotionally abused by her. It is not okay that this is happening to you. One option that is available to you is to file an abuse report. One resource that you might consider reaching out to is Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453). Child help can provide you with more information about abuse reporting and that process as well as, link you to your local CPS. If this is something that you are not comfortable with doing, we completely understand. If you are uncomfortable with calling but still want to make the report you can always give us a call and we can support you on a call with the local Child protective services (CPS) while you make the report, or we can gather all the information and make the report on your behalf.

We are sorry that you are dealing with this. You asked if you friend’s parents can get into trouble. We are not legal experts here but at 15, you are still considered a minor. If you runaway your parents can file a runaway report. If a runaway report is filed and you are found by the police there is a chance that you can be taken back home. Also if you are found staying with someone there is a chance that they could be charged with harboring a runaway.

We are really glad that you reached out to us here. We want to learn more about you and your situation to see how we can best help you and help you develop a plan that is fit for you. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We hope to hear from you soon.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

I wanna run away to my friend's house because now I'm 13 and my parents emotionally abuse me but I also don't always comply with the rules so. I just need a break and wanna go to my friends house but my parents won't know so technically a runaway but if my parents or police don't find me no one gets in trouble and when I'm done with my break ill say I just went to the park would that be ok because as of now I'm cutting my self because of depression and they took anything social or contact so I cant call I can only talk on my school computer which is what I'm using right now.

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You do not deserve to be abused by your parent’s and it is not your fault that they do this. It sounds like you are thinking about running away for a few days or so to a friend’s house to get a break from everything. Your plan is to return but not say where you really were. Running away is a big step and it’s important for your safety that by leaving you are not leaving one bad situation while creating another one.
You raise some concern because you acknowledged that you sometimes cut yourself out of depression. Sometimes things become so stressful it’s hard to know how to handle the situation. Hurting yourself does not have to be an outlet. It sounds like you have friends who are supportive. Talking might help to relieve any tension you might be feeling.
Other options might be listening to music or going for a walk, perhaps even writing things down.
Reaching out like you did today was a good decision. You are very brave for doing so.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
You might consider the referral we’ve listed for coping by following this link: www.twloha.com/

If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 15 turning 16 but my mom been emotionally abusing me and I want to run away to my friends house her mom says it’s okay that I can go over there but I don’t want her mom to get in trouble if my mom calls the cops and I don’t want to be in this house any longer

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

In regards to you leaving home, while we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Stay safe!
NRS

[Guest]

hi I’m 12 and I’m gonna runaway on New Years with my friends and my crush because none of our parents accept us for being lgbtia+

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. If you have a place to go in mind, it’s good to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living on your own can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.

It's upsetting to hear that your parents are not accepting! Coming out can be a scary process since it requires a certain degree of vulnerability and holds a lot of uncertainty. Your bravery and resilience throughout this process is so admirable. You are not alone in this and the LGBT National Youth Talkline is a great resource that offers support for young people in similar situations to your own. The hotline is run by those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can reach them by calling 1-800-246-7743 or you can check out their website at gltbhotline.org. You can also check out the Trevor Project, an organization dedicated to helping LGBT teens, by calling 866-488-7386 or by going to thetrevorproject.org.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

Hi I’m 13 years old and I’m thinking of running away because I never get my own space and my little sister bothers me all the time and my parents always think I should be in trouble I always get blamed for something that’s missing one time my step dads screen door was cut open but he thought it was me but it was our dog. And I feel like they would enjoy if I couldn’t do anything and I either am going to run away or stay with my friends for a couple of days sometime soon.

[ccsmod15]

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry that you are experiencing this kind of trouble at home, and we hope that we can help you out today.

It sounds like you are not being treated with dignity by your parents, receiving blame for things you did not do, and also being bothered by your sister. This must be really hard, and must make you feel pretty lonely at home. It sounds like because of these circumstances, you are considering running away or staying with a friend. It is always important when considering leaving home to know where you might go, how you will get there, and what you might do to survive once there. The easiest way to leave home is to get parental permission, but we have included below some general info about leaving without permission.

If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. Actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

We hope that you find some of this info helpful. In any case, we sincerely hope that things at home between you and your family get better. If you ever want to call us, we are here 24/7. You just have to dial 1-800-RUN-AWAY or go to 1800runaway.org to chat with us.

Stay safe and strong,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 13 almost 14. I’m planning to run away to my friends house for the night or two because my family has been really toxic. I had to skip school because my parents make me clean the whole house and my SISTERS room. Not just that my step mom always says that I’m never good enough, her daughter will always be better, I’m a low life, and etc. I get called these things because I forgot to do the damn dishes while I watch my sister, and clean the batherooms. She has control of the WiFi and she’s not even my step mom. She’s my dads girlfriend. I’d just like to know if there’s any other ways to go through something like this becuase I don’t want to loose my father.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
It isn’t OK for her to treat you like a slave, and to prevent you from being able to go to school as well. Truancy is taken seriously in many cases and often if it’s a chronic thing parents can get in trouble. Since she lives in the house with you its close enough to being a parent that it might make a difference. It might be worth explaining the situation to a teacher, or school counselor that might be able to help mediate a talk with her to see what options there are and make it clear that school is mandatory.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 17 and I feel like running away I don’t feel safe in my home and I was wondering can my friend get in trouble if I live with them

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We're sorry to hear you don't feel safe at home right now. To answer your question very directly: if you leave home without permission and you live with someone else, your parents could press harboring charges on anyone you live with. We aren't legal experts, but our understanding is that in most localities harboring a runaway youth is considered a misdemeanor. So there could be legal consequences.

We'd like to help further but need some more information from you to see how we can help. The best way we can do that is if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us online via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org.

You may have other options available and we'd like to discuss these with you if you call or chat with us. We are confidential and here 24/7. Hope to hear from you soon!

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi.. im a 13 year old, and im living with my grandparents, my mom is off on her own because she doesnt know how to take care of her daughters and not have a safe home, and currently in my grandparents house, my uncle is with me, they cant give me privacy, they want me to eat 1 serving because i got the big person gene from my father, and i dont get any support at all, i try and they discard my feelings, but its a regular bases my cousins come over and they are much more important, more food, more support, more money.. i was blocking my feelings and i wanted to open up.. so i opened up with my mom, she seemed like she understood, but she ratted me out to my grandparents and it all went down within 1 night, they are on the urge to kick me out and i dont care, im a masochist and because of that i think i deserve it, ive already been abused and molested most of my life, so why not get kicked out too, the only person i have now is my crush, hes already in the past offered for me to stay over, but now that this is coming up my phone is gone, and im grounded, i really just want to run away, my mom ruined my life once and now that im having a bad time she did it again.. i dont know what to do!! either rot away in hell or risk myself running away.. thank you so much, sincerely, a confused 13.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thanks so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things have been so tough for you. Please know that it is never ok for anyone to hurt you, you deserve to live in a space where you feel safe. It sounds like your grandparents are threatening to kick you out as a result of what you discussed with your mom, and you are unsure of what to do. We are not legal experts, but we can share some general info that might help you decide your next steps.

First, please know that if you are being abused or neglected, you have the right to report that to your local child abuse agency. Organizations like Child Help, available by phone at 1.800.422.4453 and online at www.childhelp.org can help you identify the agency near you and make a report if you believe you have been abused. If you are thirteen years old, you are likely considered a minor in your state and, as such, someone is likely designated as a legal guardian. Regardless of who your legal guardian is, they are responsible for making sure you have a place to stay. You may be able to inform your local police department if your legal guardian is refusing to give you a place to stay. If you run away, your legal guardian can report you as a runaway to your local police department. Each department handles runaway reports as they see fit, but they will typically look for the youth any place the legal guardian believes they may be and, if found, the youth is returned to their legal guardian. From what we understand, it is technically not illegal to run away, but it is considered a status offense in some states. Although it is technically not illegal to run away, anyone you stay with runs the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway or aiding and abetting a minor. For information specific to your area, your best option is to reach out to your local police department at their non-emergency number. If you do not know how to reach them, or if you just want someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out to us. We are here for you.

We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you explore your options and figure out your next steps. You can reach us 24/7 by phone at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) or via chat by visiting our website at www.1800runaway.org and clicking on the Chat button. We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

-NRS

[Guest]

im 12 im planning of running away but i have some questions . 1- if i go to my friends house willl her parents get in trouble ? 2- if that doesnt work out and if i try find my real dad in albania how much chance is there i will find him and 3- how do i start findinhg my dad at last 4- do people accept 12 yr olds into a cafe or such ? thank you

[ccsmod3]

Hey there, and thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

Unfortunately because NRS works primarily within the US, we don't have an understanding of how things work in your country well enough to answer your questions. That said, you might be able to connect with an organization in your area by visiting www.childhelplineinternational.org. You can click on "Find a Child Helpline" right at the top of the page, and then search for your country from there.

As you continue to think through things, it might be a good idea to think about some of the risks you open yourself up to traveling alone. It's also important to have an understanding of how you'd get to where you're going, as traveling alone at your age will likely be difficult. And with the pandemic still at play, many countries are not allowing visitors in from other areas. These are all good things to research before making a decision to try and find your dad. It might be helpful to try and see if you can find your dad online first, and maybe with the help of an adult (like your mom) who knows more and can help. It sounds like that might be an uncomfortable conversation for you, but it might help you get to where you want to be.

We're wishing you all the best, and hope that you're able to find an organization in your area that can help.

Take care.

NRS

[Guest]

Hi, i am 11 years old and i want to run away to my friends house, my mum yells at me because i want to go up the road when its dark, she doesn’t let me out past 4:30 she treats me like a baby and i cant stand it i just feel like if i run away ill be free, but if i go to my friends will her mum get in trouble

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thanks ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear that things at home have been so tough on you. It sounds like the rules your mom has set feel unreasonable to you and you would like to stay with a friend. The laws can vary from state to state, and you are asking really important questions regarding whether your friend's mom can get in trouble. We will do our best to share information that may help you decide what to do next.

Although we are not experts on the law, from what we understand, if you are a minor in your state and you leave home without the consent of your parent or legal guardian, they can file a runaway report with your local police department. It is technically not illegal to run away, but it is considered a status offense in some areas. Each police department handles runaway reports in their own way, but typically, if you are found, you are either returned to your parent/legal guardian or your parent/legal guardian would pick you up. There is a possibility that whomever you stay with can be charged with harboring a runaway, but again, this depends on the laws in your state. For more detailed information, it is best to speak with your local legal aid or your local police department by calling their non-emergency number. If you have any questions, or would like to discuss your situation further, feel free to reach out to us.

Whatever you decide, we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to, but we will do our best to help you stay safe as you figure out what is best for you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

-NRS

[Guest]

Hi, my friend is getting abuse every day, her and her brother reported there parents a wile back but Child Protective services did Literally nothing. we have a new plan for My friend to come to live with us. like run away to my house but i don't know if that is legal and if she gets sent back things will be wayyyyyyyyy worse what should we do?!

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi. I am 10 and i'm thinking about running away to my friends house. My mom screams at me everyday and today she grabbed my hair, pulled me, and hit me 19 times in a row. I don't like it here and it's just too much. Can My friend get in trouble for letting me stay at her house?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Im 16 turning 17 in 2 days. I'm unhappy living with my legal guardians. I feel like I can never do anything right. I'm not allowed to text , call or see friends, at all. Only family. They don’t trust me and I'm not saying they have no reason to not trust me but this is wayyyyy over bored. I have gotten caught sneaking out and caught vaping and school and suspended for an entire semester. They have told me I had to break up with my boyfriend who I am genuinely in love with. They told me we can't communicate at all because he deserves better. For a time my guardians wanted me to quit my job until I made it clear that is not something they can do. I am also bisexual and for that reson my guardians dont want me alone with their 11 and 9 year old daughters. I feel treated unfairly and I have expressed this to them but they give me BS. I don't want to live here anymore and have told myself if it gets worse, after I turn 17 and figure out what has to happen with my job (because they know when and where I work) I will run away and stay with my friend who has said I always have a place to stay. I live in Oklahoma and when I first moved here with my legal guardians my abusive biological dad came to get me but the police said I didn't have to go because the legal age of consent here in Oklahoma is 16. I have done extensive research and made a list of the pros and cons of running away. My only dilemma is if for some reason i was found and i doubt i would be but if i was i don't want my friends parents getting in legitimate legal trouble for harboring a runaway.

[ccsmod2]

Thanks so much for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are really struggling right now and we’re so glad you reached out, it can be a really tough thing to do. It must be really hard to be so isolated from your boyfriend and friends, who it seems like you care about a lot. It’s also awful that you’re being judged because of your sexual identity, you do not deserve to be treated that way.



It seems like you’ve done a lot of research on this topic, which is great - it seems like you’re gathering all the information you can before making such a big decision, like running away from home. We’re not legal experts but to the best of our knowledge in Oklahoma, yes the age of consent is 16, however the age of minority is 17. This means that until you are 18 you are a minor, and will need your legal guardians’ permission to leave home. If you were to go stay with your friend and your guardians filed a runaway report with the police, the police could bring you home if they found you. Usually the runaway will not face any major legal repercussions, but there is a possibility that your friends parents’ could face charges. We might be able to provide more information if you reached out to us via live chat or email to let us know the details of you and your guardians’ custody situation.



There are some other options worth considering, and we encourage you to reach out to our live chat (1800runaway.org) or our phone lines (1-800-Runaway) 24/7 365 so we can provide you with the most accurate information / resources in your area. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we’re wishing you the best of luck. Thanks!