Leaving home at 16 in Texas

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.
NRS

hello, i am 16 years old and i was wondering what my options were for leaving home. i have been told that i'll be kicked out at 17, but i'm not sure if my mental health will be able to take living here for much longer. i am undiagnosed, but i suffer from very heavy depressive feelings and am near constantly suicidal. i have a history of self harm as well, and all of that is treated as a joke in this house. they are constantly yelling at me for things i haven't done for them, even things outside of my control. i have been physically abused (choked, hit, shoved hard enough to bruise), but not nearly as often as i have been emotionally abused. i have been told to kill myself, that i am worthless, that i am a burden, and that they hate me. it has only worsened since they found out i was transgender. i cannot have a single thing here without being made fun of for it or having it taken away. i recently bought my own phone, but they insisted that i link it to the family plan or else i would not be allowed to buy one with my money. they have threatened to break it if i do anything they don't approve of (even outside of the internet) and i hide it most times so they won't take it. it's my only way of communication with my work and with my friends, and if it's taken i will have no way to get out of here. i have a plan to live with my boyfriend and his mother, but they're in north carolina and i'm in texas with no way of transportation. i worried that if i ran away, the police would return me home. my parents have had cps called on them before (for the reasons above) and they have lied to the police and convinced them that everything was fine. i personally was threatened to cooperate in the lies. to this day i am still blamed for the cps being called, and i am made fun of for it and shunned by my other family members. i don't want to be made to return home, but i have nowhere else to go except my boyfriend's. i don't know the laws in north carolina, but in texas i know this is a status offense and that i will be found and brought back home. i feel like if my parents had abused more obviously, then i would not be returned, but unfortunately they are really sneaky about it. i just want to live in peace. i don't want them to find me and bring me back, it would damage my mental health even more severely than the usual things have. i worry that as a minor and with my entire family's word against mine that i will not be believed. i would like to leave now, but i'm staying because i'm terrified of leaving and being forced back home. i would like to know what my options are here, because i am really worried.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We're really sorry your grandson is having to endure this abuse at home and we thank you for taking the courage to reach out for help and sharing the situation with us. He does not deserve this treatment from his mom and step-dad and we are here to support you guys during this difficult time.
While we are not legal experts here at NRS, we do help many youth in crisis with similar situations. If you are not his legal guardian and you don't have consent from his parents, it is an option for them to file a runaway report - because he is still considered a minor in Texas - or even a kidnapping report against you. However, we can attempt to file another abuse report to see if CPS can become involved to investigate the situation. You can also call the local police department and let them know what's going on and see if they can give you more definitive answers on what may happen legally. We'd be happy to provide you with that number if you need it. Additionally, we can help you look for free legal aid nearby if it came down to that. NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance, so if you would like to talk more in detail, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and take care,
NRS

My grandson will be 16 years old December the 30th and his mom and stepdad are mistreating him and I'm the grandma and he wants to come and live with me so when he gets 16 I live in Texas can I go get him? I called CPS on them and they didn't do anything about it,the step dad hits him and his mom and stepdad put him in the corner for hours standing he doesn't get what the other kids do to eat to drink he can't drink Coke but the other kids can he's not allowed to eat sweets but they kids eat sweets in front of him he is just mistreated and I want him.

[ccsmod3]

Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

We're sorry to hear about your mother, and that things have been difficult since her passing. While it sounds like it's a frustrating situation to be in, we're glad that your mom's ex husband is willing to let your aunt have custody of you. Often times the process of getting things sorted after someone has passed can be long and tedious, but it's not uncommon for CPS to get involved when a minor has lost their primary parent, especially in unique circumstances like yours. That said, if guardianship of you has defaulted to him because he's on your birth certificate and he's willing to let you stay with your aunt, his consent to let you do so in the meantime will likely be considered adequate.

Knowing what consequences might arise if you were to get caught after running away is hard to say. Generally speaking, when a minor leaves the state and is caught, they'd have to return to their home state. While you might be from NC, they'd most likely consider your home state TX, since that's where your current guardian is, and return you there. But because you're also in sort of a unique situation, it's also possible that CPS gets involved in NC and makes a totally different decision. Unfortunately it's just not something we can know at this time. If you're in a space where you're really ready to get things moving, it might be a good idea to connect with your aunt and see how if she's willing to help facilitate this. Connecting with CPS in your state might be helpful, as well as with legal professionals to see if they can provide any further insight.

If you want to talk in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Take care.

NRS

i'm about to turn 16 soon & right now i'm stuck in a situation where my mother & me took a trip to texas and she has passed & i'm stuck living with her ex husband and we found out he's on my birth certificate even though he isn't my dad .. i talked to him about putting me under my aunts costdy and he said yes but he wants to go through all this cps stuff instead of just signing over . i was thinking of running away on my birthday back to NC i'm currently in texas right now . i was wondering the consequences if i did get caught . right now i am not happy i, i feel stuck , i feel uncomfortable with him , and my half sister also lives here with her husband and 2 kids her husband makes me uncomfortable & they make me feel unwanted here

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Leaving home is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

It seems like things at home have been uncomfortable for quite some time and your family doesn't realize how the yelling is affecting you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your family so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

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Hello I am 15 turning 16 in December and I need to find a way to move out at 16 but I don't know what is required for me to do that or if it's possible. But I feel like when I'm at my own house my whole personality is different and I'm constantly getting yelled at for the stuff I do and I feel like my household isnt healthy for me at all and it put me in a place where its not good emotionally and i just need help. they dont hit me or anything like that its just the fact that i feel like i dont belong there.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,

Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now and we want you to know that you are not alone.
You do not have to deal with these feelings alone there is always someone willing to listen and provide support. A resource that may be helpful to you is called NAMI (national alliance on mental illnesses). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI. It is understandable to want to quit school and become independent. That is a huge decision to make and you could consider talking with a school counselor about this and see if they can help you come to a decision.
We are not legal experts but if you were to leave home without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. You could see if you can stay somewhere short term so you can get a break.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
NRS

hi im 16 and i live in texas i haven't been happy for a while im deppresed anxios i dont care anymore and i have no one i can talk ro right now and i dont want to live at home anymore my parents have been seperate my whole life and i dont want to live with either i want to quit school and get a job then get my GED online then go from their but i want to be able to live with my friend his family has always considered me apart of the family since 3rd grade and theyre the only people o trust i dont have any other family in the state i can live with and i believe i am mature enough to do this but i know both my parents would not agree i dont jave my licence yet but i do have my permit i need to know what i can do to get free

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with all your responsibilities at home and how your mom treats your sisters. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

Im considering running away I have been for a while . My home situation isn’t the worst but it isn’t the best . I am 16 years old with a lot of responsibilities in my home all of the people the house-hold depend on me for so many things and I am emotionally and mentally drained I do not want to feel like this I just strongly desire freedom and a break from my everyday life . My sisters go through way worse because my mom is a little verbally abusive to them and that’s another reason why I haven’t acted on my running away plans because I feel as if that is a selfish move and I want to be there for them and support them but all I desire is to run away from the prison that is my home .

[ccsmod1]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

We are always here to listen and help out in any way that we can. It is unfortunate to hear that you are experiencing mental abuse at your home and it is causing you to want to runaway. We can offer you support to handle this situation. Our priority is always your safety. You mentioned that you have previously engaged in self-harm. This has got to be really tough. In some cases, it can be helpful to talk through these thoughts with someone. The National Suicide Hotline is available 24/7, just like us, but they have trained counselors that are there to talk through anything that you are thinking or feeling. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741.

In addition, we are here to offer you support on your decision to run away. It is important to consider logistics and finances before getting on a flight across the country to move in with your boyfriend. Questions to ask yourself may include: who will drive you to the airport and pick you up once you land in New York? Will your boyfriend’s parents allow you to live with him for a long period of time? How will you afford to live in New York once you arrive there? Please note that we are not legal experts. Because you are 16, some airlines will allow you to fly on an airplane alone. However, you are technically still a minor and this will create limitations for you once you are off of the plane.

As a minor, you are required to live with a legally responsible adult. If you do choose to run away then your parents have the right to file a runaway report with the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if the police find you, then they will have to bring you back home. It is important to understand that if you are filed as a runaway anyone you stay with could potentially be charged for harboring a runaway. If your boyfriend is over the age of eighteen, then he could get into trouble for this.

Again, we are really glad that you reached out to us today, it is not easy to ask for help in situations like this. If you would like to talk more about what is going on at home and discuss options, please reach out to us on our 24-hour hotline or chat. We are here to listen and help with any concerns.

Stay safe,
NRS

Hello. I’m 16 and I want to run away from home. My parents have been emotionally and mentally abusing me since I was at the age of 12. I used to self harm but I have been clean since April 1st, but I still have to deal with the issues they’ve caused me every day. My mom has threatened me by saying I am allowed to live with friends if I don’t like it here (over text) but I feel as if I ask them to leave they won’t let me, so I want to run away.

My main question is if you have any advice for how I can travel from texas to new york where my boyfriend currently lives. He said his family has no problems with taking care of me for however long needed. The only problem is I don’t know how to get there. I have a drivers permit (not a license) but I am not experienced enough to actually drive on the road with other people. I have a debit card with around $120, I have no current source of income either. I thought about having a friend take me to the airport and fly out there but I do not know if that will work or not.
So do you have any advice or suggestions for how I am supposed to travel?

[ccsmod16]

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline – we are here to help and listen.

We’re sorry to hear that your dad yells at you, you do not deserve to be treated in that way.

You mentioned wanting to leave home but being concerned about possible consequences. While we are not legal experts we can speak generally on this. Leaving home without permission from your parents as a minor is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means your dad can report you as a runaway to the police. Again, you would not be arrested or charged with a crime because of this. It does mean your dad can ask police to return you home if he knows where you are staying.

One way you could leave home would be to leave with permission from your dad. We want to clarify that while your dad can give consent to you leaving, he can also change his mind. We understand talking to parents about leaving home can be difficult. Maybe this conversation can be had with both parents if you are hoping to stay with mom.

Another way you may be able to live somewhere else is through a child abuse report, via the child abuse hotline (1-800-422-4453). Normally investigations are taken when there is strong evidence of physical abuse or neglect, however this may also depend on who takes the call. Any hotline worker at ChildHelp should be able to take your report and let you know what actions they can take. One of our own hotline workers can also help you file an abuse report.

If you’d like to discuss these options further, we would be happy to talk to you via our 24/7 hotline (1-800-786-2929) or through our chat feature:

https://na0messaging.icarol.com/Cons...d=254&cc=en-US

Best of luck,

National Runaway Safe Line