Moving out at 17 with parent consent

[ccsmod3]

Hi thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are tired of living with mom and how she has been treating you, which sounds really stressful. It seems like mom initially gave you permission to go live with your dad and everything was set up, and she took back that consent which can be frustrating. Legally speaking, until you are 18, mom is allowed to take back her consent at any time. Though once you turn 18, mom has no legal basis to tell you where you can or cannot live. If it could be helpful to see if dad can talk to mom about this since he was all ready for you to come stay with him. We are also here to help and support as best as we can if you would like to talk more about this or some other possible options to help. If this interests you, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

Hi, im 17 and 2 months away from turning 18. My mom has always said if i wanted to live with my bio dad i could. Now that i have plans to move, she's taken back her consent. I have saved messages of her telling me to leave and that she doesn't want me to live with her anymore. My mom has full custody, but i think my dad has visitation. My mom moved out to Las Vegas, but we're originally from St. Louis. My dad already bought a ticket for me and arranged for me to stay, but the day he finally finished arrangements for school and home, she suddenly texted me that i have to stay with her even after i turn 18, which i was planning on moving during the second semester. If i do have to stay, I'm moving regardless since I'll be a legal adult, and she won't have a say. I'm so tired of this. I just want to be in a home i feel happy in. I feel miserable at this new school and living with her.

[ccsmod3]

Hi thank you for reaching out. First, we are sorry to hear about losing your stepdad, that can be a lot to handle and process on top or mom suffering with a mental disability and the stress has gone to you to take care of her. If you have mom’s permission, you can legally move out, though she can take that permission back at any point and ask for you to return home. It is also important to make sure you have a safe place you can stay and that you would be able to take care of yourself. To talk more about this or some options to help, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

Hello, I used to live with my stepdad and my mom, but in 2020 and my stepdad passed away, and my mom suffers with mental disability and I have found that a lot of the stress of taking care of her has been put on me and have been wondering with her consent and her power of attorney’s consent would I legally be able to move out I am 17 1/2.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on and our condolences go out to you regarding the passing of your bio dad. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way or not have people intervene on your behalf. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to Child Protective Services. Additionally, Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent/guardian's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parent/guardian. You can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

I'm currently 16 living in South Carolina. My step dad has always been abusive and controlling. My mom just lets him and my bio dad just passed the 2nd of August. I want to move out. I've been thinking hard and long about this. I know it's what's best for me. I turn 17 in December. My friends parents agree that I should do this and so does my teachers, but my question is can I move out and the cops not bring me home? If they bring me home my step dad will not be happy and I might just die. (Not a kidding)

[ccsmod15]

Hi, we are glad you reached out to us. While we are not legal experts, we can provide you some general guidance on these issues.

If you have your parents’ permission and your grandmother agrees, you can move in with her. Even though that can be a verbal agreement, it is always best to have a letter from your parents to your grandmother outlining her responsibility and scope of guardianship over you. That should include how long her guardianship is expected to last (it can say until your 18th birthday when you become an adult in CA). It should also describe who is responsible for your medical decisions until you are 18 years old. It should clearly state who is going to be financially responsible for you while you are living with your grandmother. You don’t have to have a lawyer write the letter and it does not need to be notarized, but those things do always help if there is a problem later.

In regards to switching schools, you will need to contact your new school and get the new/transferring student application from them. Typically you will have to provide proof of residency and depending on the school they may want to see paperwork authorizing your grandmother to enroll you as your legal guardian (usually the letter mentioned above is enough).

If your grandmother lives in a different state, things could be a little different and may be more complicated. If you contact us, we can talk with you about your specific situation and go through all the details for you to get a workable plan to move and switch schools. You can start a chat with us through our website or call our crisis hotline at (800) RUNAWAY. Both are available 24/7 and both are completely confidential.

Good luck and we hope to hear from you soon.

NRS

Im form california and im 17 I want to live with my grandmother and change schools and im not sure what to do. How exactly does the permission of my parents work does there have to be paperwork involved or she could say its ok and I can live there.
Also do i need my parents permission to change schools.

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you want to move out before you are 18, with parental consent.
We are not legal experts, but generally what makes a person a "runaway youth" is that they left without consent, and the parent/guardian filed a runaway report with police. If no report is filed, then no one would be looking for you.
If you'd like to discuss this further, please chat us through this website, or call 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY)
Sincerely,
NRS

I’m turning 18 in two months. Can I move out with parent consent? Will they get into legal trouble if I move out next month after I graduate?

[ccsmod7]

Hey there, thanks for reaching out to NRS. It makes sense that you need out under this much stress, and you have real courage.

Unfortunately, we cannot say for sure what will happen if the police get involved. If they do find you and try to bring you home, you have the right to refuse to return. How police handle it is different by state, and, in some cases, locality. Another thing to consider is that your friend’s mom may be charged with harboring a runaway if you are found in their home. While we are not legal experts, you may be able to get more specific information by calling your local non-emergency police line. If you don’t know it already, this may be able to help: https://www.usacops.com/

It’s not okay that they threaten your life and make you feel unsafe. One option to consider is calling Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org. ChildHelp is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

Another option you may like to consider is emancipation. Emancipation is a legal process that gives minors the full legal status of adults. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees, so sometimes people close to turning 18 do not find this a beneficial option. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Lastly, from what you’ve described, your friend’s mom seems like an adult you trust. Would it be possible for you and your friend's parents to sit down and talk about what has been going on?

If you would like to talk more about the situation, explore these options, or find other resources, we are here. NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance, so if you would like to talk more, please call or chat soon. [1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org ] We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Stay safe,
NRS

Hi, I am 17 and in Mass. I live with my dad and his mother. A cycle of abuse and mistreatment has been happening for most of my life. My father is diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, and my grandmother is old and becoming senile. I have been controlled and manipulated by them for most of my life. Recently I have been much more independent and defiant of them, and because of stolen money in the past I created a savings account with my friend's mom without their knowledge. Somehow they found out about it, and called me yesterday while i was out of the house and my dad threatened my life over the phone. He also said he wanted me out of the house, and said he was going to bring me to my estranged mother's house in Vermont. I am very against this, and realize I cannot take their control anymore. It's finally enough. I am currently staying at that same friend's house, who's mother is willing to let me move in with them. I have not answered any of their calls or texts, and got a message this morning from my dad saying he is going to report me missing. I do not feel safe going home, even to quickly grab clothes for the next few days, especially because my dad's history of threats of violence.

I want to move out for good, because I do not think I can tough through the last 10 months until I turn 18. They said they wanted me gone so maybe they will allow me to move into my friend's house without getting the police involved. Just due to how controlling they are, I think this is a really slim chance. My question is, if they do not allow me to move out peacefully, what will going to the police do? Will they allow me to move into a place where I am safe of my choosing? My friend's house has been offered for me to live in many times over the last couple years, and this is the ideal outcome. If DCF or the police get involved, will they let me choose this because I am old enough? I do not want to end up at home, and certainly not in any kind of group home. I understand I need their consent to move out as my dad is my legal guardian.

The last post on this line is from 2019, so this is a long shot. Thankyou for your time.

[ccsmod5]

Thank you for reaching out it shows a lot of courage. We are by no means legal experts. If you are looking to lease or rent something without signing some type of agreement it could be cause for concern. Without some type of agreement, it would be very easy for a company or individual to take advantage of you. For example, it would be easy for them to remove you from your apartment without a binding legal agreement.

It sounds like you have a great support system with your mom it could be worth talking to her about your options. If your mom would agree to sign a lease or rental agreement for you it might make finding a place easier. Another option if your mom were to agree to it could be staying with family or friends.

It is understandable to be frustrated when you are not being supported in way that you could thrive in. It is important to remember you are not alone and that you can always reach out to us we are 24/7 and we can be reached either through chat or at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Hi. I'm 17 and I live in Washington. I'm trying to get emancipated because my dad's really strict, toxic and emotionally abusive. Im going to file a petition but I want to move out first. Can I legally pay for a bedroom without signing a lease or renters agreement if I have my mom consent?

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We are here to help and support you however much we are able. Typically, 18 is the legal age in most states to move out of your parents' house. However, if your parents gave you permission, moving into your boyfriend's house may be a suitable option.

It may be a good idea to have a copy of your birth certificate, social security card, health insurance , and if your mom would feel comfortable writing a letter of consent allowing you to stay with your boyfriend. You can also reach out to your local police department to ask them if there is specific paper work required if that would be something you feel would be helpful.

We hope this response provides a bit more understanding and potential resources to help with your current situation. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.