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Im turning 17 in a few days and have been told to move out my my mother since I was in middle school. I really do want to move out and I have a good and trusted friend in New York that is letting me stay with him until I can get a job. I live in New Hampshire currently with my mother and brother. I haven't seen my father in 7 years so he's not in my life and has no custody of me. Can I leave to another state with my mother's consent?
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Hi,
Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. You don't deserve to have been told to move out since you were in middle school. It must have felt very scary for you as a child.
Now that you are so close to 18, it's understandable to want to leave now. If you have your mother's consent, you can go, because she would have to be the one to file a runaway report. If she is not going to do that, no one will know anything except that you are a person on a train.
Even if she did change her mind, you will be in another state and the moment you turn 18, the runaway report expires. We hope this helps and we for sure would like to talk more with you about your plans and support you in what you've been through.
You can reach out via live chat through this website, or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) We are here for you 24/7
You have been very brave, always.
Sincerely,
NRS
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My son is 17 and was placed out of the home by cps.. now it is not court ordered nor did I sign over any rights. Can I give my son permission to live on his own?Comment
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Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out! Although you have not signed rights over or have not had parental rights removed by the state, the court may have granted temporary custody to the state. Making your youth a ward of the state, and the state would be their legal guardian until stated otherwise. In that case, you as the parent would not be able to give permission for the youth to move out of their placement. Every case can vary though; it may be best to reach out to your caseworker or someone with the agency that holds your case. If needed, we can help find a legal aid who can further help answering legal questions in your state.
We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
Be safe,
NRS
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My boyfriend who lives in Connecticut wants to move out and move in with my family in Nebraska once he finishes high school at the end of May (he won’t be 18 until four months later.) His father thinks that that would be good for him and wants him to get out of the house away from his very manipulative and controlling mother, but she doesn’t want him to move out until he is 18. Would he need to have both parents’ consent to move in with my family out of state, or would just his father’s consent be enough?Comment
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Hello! Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. We’re sorry to hear that your boyfriend is having such a rough time at home with his mother. It must be hard for you to see him go through this while being so far away. We can provide you with some information, but just be clear- we are not legal experts.
That said, if both of your boyfriend’s parents are his legal guardians and your boyfriend has the permission of his father to move in with you, there likely won’t be any major legal repercussions for you or your family in Nebraska, especially since your boyfriend is so close to being 18. However, it is worth mentioning that different states have different laws for when someone is considered a legal adult, ie. in Nebraska someone is considered a minor until they are 19 years old, whereas in Connecticut you are a minor until you are 18 years old. Also, things can get a little more tricky when crossing state lines.
If your boyfriend’s parents are legally separated or divorced and share joint custody, his mother could fill out a runaway report even if your boyfriend has his father’s permission. If a runaway report is filed and officers located your boyfriend, they could bring him back home. In that scenario there’s also a possibility that your family (any adults or guardians you and your boyfriend would be living with in Nebraska) could face charges for harboring a runaway, again this all becomes a bit trickier when crossing state lines. We know this is a lot of information at once, but it might be helpful to reach out to NRS via phone (1-800-Runaway) or live chat (1800runaway.org) in order to give us a little more information about the situation so we can give you the most appropriate information and resources to help.
Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us, we’re here for you 24/7 via phone or live chat on our website. Good luck!
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Hi! It’s the same person who wrote previously about my boyfriend wanting to move out of his home in Connecticut and in with my family in Nebraska, with his father’s permission but not his mother’s! His parents are together but they never got married. Would that affect whether or not he needs the consent of both parents? His father is also planning on leaving because my boyfriend’s mother is bipolar and unmedicated, domestically abusive towards my boyfriend’s father, controlling, manipulative, etc, but he isn’t financially stable enough yet to move to Nebraska. He’s planning to in over a year, but my boyfriend will be 18 by then. My boyfriend’s father has said that he thinks my boyfriend needs to get out of the house and away from his mother as soon as possible, and thinks that him waiting until he’s 18 is a last resort. Knowing all of that, would he need both parents’ consent to move out before he’s 18? We’re really just trying to get a good idea on how soon we can get him out, if at all, before he turns 18 without possibly getting my parents in trouble for letting him stay with us.Comment
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Thanks for reaching out to us again. It seems like your boyfriend is in a stressful situation and you are trying to help him out.
First of all, you may want to find out if his father is named on his birth certificate. Even though he has assumed guardianship until now, if he’s not named, it may give his mom a stronger case for pursuing him. But in any case, if he has one parent’s permission, it is less likely that your parents would be punished for harboring a runaway.
Another thing he may consider is if he feels his mother is abusive, he may want to file a report with CPS (Child Protective Services). If they needed to, they would have him removed from the home, but likely not sent to you and your parents.
We are here to support you as you figure out what is best for your situation. Please feel free to call us or chat with us online at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)/ 1800runaway.org if you would like to talk in more detail. Good luck!
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My mom passed away and my aunt got guardian ship of me. Well she told me once I got off probation I could move out but now she’s saying I can’t. She’s mentally and emotionally abusive and forced me to have an abortion and is trying to put me on birth control and has threatened to beat my ass multiple times. I want to move back to my home town with my best friend. I’m 17.Comment
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Hello,
Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you reaching out and sharing what has been going on. First, we are sorry for the loss of your mom. It sounds like you have been through a lot and want you to know we are here for you.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to Child Protective Services. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed.
It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not legal experts, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. Since you are 17, your aunt/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. If you stay with your best friend, then they might be at risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24-hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
Tell us what you think about your experience!
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hello im 17 and im trying to move out of my parents house to my boyfriends house she has given me permission but says i need papers what papers do i need?Comment
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Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We are here to help and support you however much we are able. Typically, 18 is the legal age in most states to move out of your parents' house. However, if your parents gave you permission, moving into your boyfriend's house may be a suitable option.
It may be a good idea to have a copy of your birth certificate, social security card, health insurance , and if your mom would feel comfortable writing a letter of consent allowing you to stay with your boyfriend. You can also reach out to your local police department to ask them if there is specific paper work required if that would be something you feel would be helpful.
We hope this response provides a bit more understanding and potential resources to help with your current situation. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
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Hi. I'm 17 and I live in Washington. I'm trying to get emancipated because my dad's really strict, toxic and emotionally abusive. Im going to file a petition but I want to move out first. Can I legally pay for a bedroom without signing a lease or renters agreement if I have my mom consent?Comment
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Thank you for reaching out it shows a lot of courage. We are by no means legal experts. If you are looking to lease or rent something without signing some type of agreement it could be cause for concern. Without some type of agreement, it would be very easy for a company or individual to take advantage of you. For example, it would be easy for them to remove you from your apartment without a binding legal agreement.
It sounds like you have a great support system with your mom it could be worth talking to her about your options. If your mom would agree to sign a lease or rental agreement for you it might make finding a place easier. Another option if your mom were to agree to it could be staying with family or friends.
It is understandable to be frustrated when you are not being supported in way that you could thrive in. It is important to remember you are not alone and that you can always reach out to us we are 24/7 and we can be reached either through chat or at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
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Hi, I am 17 and in Mass. I live with my dad and his mother. A cycle of abuse and mistreatment has been happening for most of my life. My father is diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, and my grandmother is old and becoming senile. I have been controlled and manipulated by them for most of my life. Recently I have been much more independent and defiant of them, and because of stolen money in the past I created a savings account with my friend's mom without their knowledge. Somehow they found out about it, and called me yesterday while i was out of the house and my dad threatened my life over the phone. He also said he wanted me out of the house, and said he was going to bring me to my estranged mother's house in Vermont. I am very against this, and realize I cannot take their control anymore. It's finally enough. I am currently staying at that same friend's house, who's mother is willing to let me move in with them. I have not answered any of their calls or texts, and got a message this morning from my dad saying he is going to report me missing. I do not feel safe going home, even to quickly grab clothes for the next few days, especially because my dad's history of threats of violence.
I want to move out for good, because I do not think I can tough through the last 10 months until I turn 18. They said they wanted me gone so maybe they will allow me to move into my friend's house without getting the police involved. Just due to how controlling they are, I think this is a really slim chance. My question is, if they do not allow me to move out peacefully, what will going to the police do? Will they allow me to move into a place where I am safe of my choosing? My friend's house has been offered for me to live in many times over the last couple years, and this is the ideal outcome. If DCF or the police get involved, will they let me choose this because I am old enough? I do not want to end up at home, and certainly not in any kind of group home. I understand I need their consent to move out as my dad is my legal guardian.
The last post on this line is from 2019, so this is a long shot. Thankyou for your time.Comment
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Hey there, thanks for reaching out to NRS. It makes sense that you need out under this much stress, and you have real courage.
Unfortunately, we cannot say for sure what will happen if the police get involved. If they do find you and try to bring you home, you have the right to refuse to return. How police handle it is different by state, and, in some cases, locality. Another thing to consider is that your friend’s mom may be charged with harboring a runaway if you are found in their home. While we are not legal experts, you may be able to get more specific information by calling your local non-emergency police line. If you don’t know it already, this may be able to help: https://www.usacops.com/
It’s not okay that they threaten your life and make you feel unsafe. One option to consider is calling Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org. ChildHelp is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
Another option you may like to consider is emancipation. Emancipation is a legal process that gives minors the full legal status of adults. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees, so sometimes people close to turning 18 do not find this a beneficial option. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
Lastly, from what you’ve described, your friend’s mom seems like an adult you trust. Would it be possible for you and your friend's parents to sit down and talk about what has been going on?
If you would like to talk more about the situation, explore these options, or find other resources, we are here. NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance, so if you would like to talk more, please call or chat soon. [1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org ] We look forward to hearing from you soon.
Stay safe,
NRS
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I’m turning 18 in two months. Can I move out with parent consent? Will they get into legal trouble if I move out next month after I graduate?Comment
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Hi,
Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you want to move out before you are 18, with parental consent.
We are not legal experts, but generally what makes a person a "runaway youth" is that they left without consent, and the parent/guardian filed a runaway report with police. If no report is filed, then no one would be looking for you.
If you'd like to discuss this further, please chat us through this website, or call 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY)
Sincerely,
NRS
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Im form california and im 17 I want to live with my grandmother and change schools and im not sure what to do. How exactly does the permission of my parents work does there have to be paperwork involved or she could say its ok and I can live there.
Also do i need my parents permission to change schools.Comment
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Hi, we are glad you reached out to us. While we are not legal experts, we can provide you some general guidance on these issues.
If you have your parents’ permission and your grandmother agrees, you can move in with her. Even though that can be a verbal agreement, it is always best to have a letter from your parents to your grandmother outlining her responsibility and scope of guardianship over you. That should include how long her guardianship is expected to last (it can say until your 18th birthday when you become an adult in CA). It should also describe who is responsible for your medical decisions until you are 18 years old. It should clearly state who is going to be financially responsible for you while you are living with your grandmother. You don’t have to have a lawyer write the letter and it does not need to be notarized, but those things do always help if there is a problem later.
In regards to switching schools, you will need to contact your new school and get the new/transferring student application from them. Typically you will have to provide proof of residency and depending on the school they may want to see paperwork authorizing your grandmother to enroll you as your legal guardian (usually the letter mentioned above is enough).
If your grandmother lives in a different state, things could be a little different and may be more complicated. If you contact us, we can talk with you about your specific situation and go through all the details for you to get a workable plan to move and switch schools. You can start a chat with us through our website or call our crisis hotline at (800) RUNAWAY. Both are available 24/7 and both are completely confidential.
Good luck and we hope to hear from you soon.
NRS
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I'm currently 16 living in South Carolina. My step dad has always been abusive and controlling. My mom just lets him and my bio dad just passed the 2nd of August. I want to move out. I've been thinking hard and long about this. I know it's what's best for me. I turn 17 in December. My friends parents agree that I should do this and so does my teachers, but my question is can I move out and the cops not bring me home? If they bring me home my step dad will not be happy and I might just die. (Not a kidding)Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on and our condolences go out to you regarding the passing of your bio dad. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way or not have people intervene on your behalf. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to Child Protective Services. Additionally, Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent/guardian's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parent/guardian. You can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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