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How do I leave? I'm scared

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  • How do I leave? I'm scared

    I'm not good at writing. I never have been.
    My dad is a 77 year old angry man. He's driven all of his kids away with different wives throughout his life.
    My mom, 47 year old Honduran woman has only 2 kids, me (15F) and my sister (19). We both live with our parents and our half brother (dad's side) whose 33 years old.
    I don't want to live here anymore. I live in Florida and the closest place I could move is Toronto where my friend lives whose possibly able to take me in, he's 19 (no, we aren't dating). I love his family, too.
    The problems I have:
    -I'm 15
    -I love my mom too much to leave her
    -I love my dogs too much to leave them.

    I can't live here anymore I might kill myself if this continues, my dad's horrible. He's never touched me but makes me so uncomfortable. He never even wanted me to be born and makes fun of my anorexia and every other flaw I have, he sells my dogs (I have a lot) when he's mad, and gets angry when I don't talk to him. He controls everyone's life as the breadwinner.
    No one really takes me seriously when I tell them, like I'm overreacting, but I ********ing hate my life here. I can't do anything. I have no friends, he doesn't even let me visit the ones I used to have.
    I haven't talked to him in a week. Please help I can't live with him anymore, my mental health is declining. The highlight of my day is television and video games.

  • #2

    Hello and thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your dad treats you in a way that is inappropriate and hurtful. It is not okay for him to make fun of you or sell your dogs when he feels like being vindictive. It is okay and understandable to feel the weight of this sort of mistreatment, but your life is definitely worth living. Nobody should be expected to experience this kind of suffering and just be able to walk it off or tough it out. All people need emotional support at times and that is not something to feel bad about, especially when it feels like no one is looking out for you. If you feel like you cannot take it anymore or just want to talk to someone, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

    While it is good that you can find some solace in TV and video games, it might be a good idea to brainstorm how you can get consistent emotional support. Bottling these things up and having nobody to talk through them with seems is clearly taking a serious toll on your mental health. Perhaps you could negotiate with your mother about participating in extracurriculars so that you can avoid being in the house with your dad and also have opportunities to meet potential new friends and connections. You could also talk to her about seeing someone like a therapist or counselor with whom you can discuss these issues that are weighing you down. Some resources that can help you with looking up local therapists/counselors are NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) at 1-800-950-NAMI and SAMHSA (Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration) at 1-877-726-4727. If you want to talk more about what’s going on or about one option in particular, we may be better able to provide you with more precise information. Again, we are available at 1-800-786-2929 24/7 or on chat at
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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