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15 Years Old, I Need to Leave

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  • 15 Years Old, I Need to Leave

    Hey there. I'm 15 and I live in the city of Long Beach, CA. I really need to leave before I commit suicide. I watched my mom bleed out in the street in 2016, and ever since I moved in with my dad, he takes all his anger towards her out on me. He believes that I am my mother's evil minion and that I'm possessed by her spirit. I'm tired of being a problem. I'm tired of being blamed for everything. I'm in my room 24/7 because of independent studies. I don't have any friends or family here, and I'm really scared of being assaulted on the street. I used to be homeless (I slept in a car with my mom), and I know what can happen out there. But it's better than dying at my own hands. Today my dad threatened to cut himself in front of me. I just want peace. I just want freedom from this hell. I've tried to get out before and move with my dad's ex, but neither him nor social services deemed my household as enough of a risk to leave. I just want out. I don't want to remember my teen years this way.

  • #2
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension and where your safety isn’t guaranteed. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    You stated that if you didn’t leave home soon that you might commit suicide. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time.

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    All the best,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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