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16 and i dont wanna go home.

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  • 16 and i dont wanna go home.

    hi, i am 16 (living in Lafayette In). i currently go to school and have a job. recently i had to leave home. My dad got sent into the hospital for surgery and me step mom had medical issues with her M.S and also was hospitalized. They are both out now. For 1-2 years my relationship with my dad has been rocky. Hes constantly calling me names. Down grading me, and he never supports anything i do. While Im staying at his house he makes me take care of his girlfriend, she just turned 70. She has ms, blind, and has a wheeled chair. She can move around by herself and use the restroom by herself. When my dad first came home. I went home to see him. A little side note. I am in a relationship with a mixed boy. Hes half black and half white. Ever since my dad found out. He's been even more aggressive and says stuff like "Soon your never gonna come back, maybe one of your black friends can take care of you." When my dad isn't hurt and healthy he normally works 2-10. Its my job to clean the kitchen, cook the dinner, do everyone's laundry and be basically a maid for my parents. I never really minded helping out. but it go to the point where i cant focus on school and it put me in a bad place mentally. i have tried to express to my dad about my anxiety and depression. And he always says that his childhood was worse so i have nothing to be "Unhappy" about. I have had this pilled on me for to long. Like i mentioned before both my parents were hospitalized. I moved in with a girl I'm close with who is 18. I get my work dont for school, and i feel way better. My dad keeps threatening to call the cops and have them come to my work or school to try and bring me home. Do i have to go back?

  • #2

    Hi there thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We really appreciate you sharing a little bit about what has been going on as that takes a lot of bravery. We are going to brainstorm a little bit and talk about some options and you are always welcome to reach back out to us here as we are 24/7 and you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us on our website at 1800runaway.org.
    It sounds like you are going through a really hard situation at home and you do not deserve to be put down or called names by your dad. It is not fair to you and not okay. From what you shared, it seems like you care a lot about your family but being treated like that is not something you deserve. Having your focus taken away from school does not sound fair to you as you are a student and coping with your depression and anxiety as you shared. It is brave to try to talk to your dad about how you feel as that takes a lot of strength to express. If you want to talk about resources about mental health, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is a great resource to talk about referrals and support for what you have expressed. They have a phone number (1-800-950-NAMI) and you can text them as well (Text NAMI to 741741). The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) is always there to listen and support you and you do not have to be suicidal to call.
    We aren’t legal experts but since your dad and his girlfriend are in the hospital and are legally responsible for you and where you live, so if you refuse to return home after they are home they may file you as a runaway since you are under the general age of adulthood of 18. This means filing a runaway report with the police which is not illegal per say, but something called a status offense, like breaking curfew, and you won’t be arrested unless other circumstances are involved (unless you are on probation or have habitually ran away which may change things depending on the police department). The police may then try to find you and return you home, and you do have the right to tell the police about what has been going on at home if you do feel you are being abused/neglected. If you feel comfortable talking to the police, they would not want to bring you somewhere you feel unsafe and may investigate themselves or reach out to CPS. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is also a great resource to answer any questions as they are the National Child Abuse Hotline. If you do feel like you are unsafe at home or are being abused, as we are not here to define abuse, they can also talk about what reporting what is going on may look like or if you can report about what is going on. As you mentioned your dad is in the hospital and would be alone if you were not at you friend’s, that can be considered neglect as your legal guardian has not been present for a long period of time, and if you want to explore reporting other questions may be asked if your basic needs are not fulfilled at home alone, food, water, etc. These are things we can always talk about if you feel comfortable reaching out again and exploring what you think may work best in your situation.
    We are really glad you reached out and are always here for you. We truly care about you and your safety and we are always here to discuss further what we talked about and are always here to listen. We hope to hear from you soon!

    Best, NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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