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How do I get out of here?

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  • How do I get out of here?

    Hi, I'm a 16 year old transgender teenager currently living in Alabama. I live with my biological mother and step dad. I would like to move with my grandmother back to Oregon, where I originally lived. I won't be 17 for eleven months and even then I don't know the laws about that. I want to move for many reasons. The house is infested with roaches and they'll leave animal feces and urine on the floor for weeks. All of our animals have fleas. We have piles of laundry and dishes all over, and sections of the house are caked in mud. Last night a roach crawled across my mother's mad and she didn't even seem phased. They don't drink, they aren't abusive (to me, they did kick out my disabled grandmother after convincing her to move here) and they seem very clean cut and perfectly normal to the outside world. I don't know how they plan to keep their unborn child alive in these conditions. I also want to move because I can't medically transition until I don't live with my mother anymore. My dysphoria is so bad that I have attempted suicide five times in the last few months. My mother still doesn't know about this, but it wouldn't convince her. Third reason is that my mom never raised me. My grandma did. She stepped out when I was two to drink and party, and when I was around her she was always drunk. I begged to never stay with her and she agreed, until she met my step dad's family and wanted to impress them. I hate this state, and I hate living with them. They will not willingly let me leave anytime soon. They will not emancipate me. I highly doubt there's any convincing I could do. If I stay here much longer, I'll end up dead. Is there anything I can do to get to Oregon with my grandma without her getting in legal trouble or me being brought right back home? And fast?

  • #2
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. It sounds like the unsanitary conditions of living with your mother has you wanting to live with your grandmother. It is understandable that you would want to leave a place that might not be the best for your health. If you feel like the condition of your home is affect you enough you do have the right to report it to Child Protective Services 800-422-4453 it sounds like what you would prefer to live with your grandmother, since she is the one who raised you anyway.
    Your safety and well-being is important and since you mentioned trying to complete suicide several times. It also sounds like you could use some support living with your body dysmorphia disorder. It sounds like you haven’t been talking to anyone about how to live with your condition. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) 800-950-6264 is the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness. You might be able to use this resource to find services to access therapy for yourself.
    It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws. We need to you to know that we are not legal experts nor are we affiliated with the police so we can only speak generally. You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents’ permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mother. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

    Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    Be safe,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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