I want to live with my father but my mother has custody.

[Guest]

i want to live with my father

so ive been with my mother my hole life and she has a husband now and hes the worst i cant stand it here i just want to get a job and a car to work on my career but they are holding me back and my dad is the only one who would help me so im thinking if i could live with my dad so i can actuality start my life a happy one

[ccsmod13]

We are glad you reached out to us for help. Getting along with a new step-parent is very challenging and even more so if he is difficult and not supportive. You deserve a supportive home and to be considered.

You do have some options but the specifics depend on how old you are, where you live and some other details on the dynamics going on in your Mom’s house. We would like to talk to you more about all those details, help you come up with a plan that works for you, and get you in touch with the resources you need to support your plan.

You can contact us for a chat through our website or call our crisis hotline at (800) RUNAWAY to talk through all that. Both are available 24/7 and are completely confidential.

We hope to hear from you soon. Good luck.

[Guest]

my mom is making me move to my dads and I wouldn’t like to. Yes today! Anyways, my dad is a drug addict, and achocolic. Yet, that’s the reason they spilit up. Yes I love my dad but he is not capable of being a good father since he didn’t have a good parenting hoods. And my mom makes my life miserable! I have no where to go. Can anyone help?

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline Forum line. The situation you are in sounds very difficult and it’s unfortunate that you are going through it.



While no age is indicated in your message, it appears that you are probably still school-aged and there are laws for parents who walk away from the responsibility of raising their underage children. If you are able to, you may want speak to a relative or older sibling you are close to and explain the situation. Being really honest about your father’s behavior is important as it could put you into danger living with him. If that doesn’t work, I would encourage you to get back in touch with us using our Chat connection or via phone at 1-800-Runaway, both which are available 24/7 so there’s always someone for you to connect with. Here at NRS, we have resources in our database, which we can look into to possibly connect you to an organization near to where you live.



Even if the move has been made, it’s important that you let someone know if you find yourself in danger. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us if we can be of assistance. Keep our contact information listed above with you! Good Luck to you!

[Guest]

I want to live with my dad but my mom hates my dad and i am 16 and how can i live with my dad and my mom not get mad because i don't living at my house all my mom does is start arguments

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. Generally for custody cases like this your dad will need to initiate legal proceedings himself to gain full custody of you.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

I want to live with my father but my mother wont even let me see him. I don't know much but I'm pretty sure that its 50/50. i got to see him for the first time in 5 months only because she let my brothers and i go see our grandparents. its not just my father she wont let us see its that whole side of the family. i heard her say today that "a real dad is there for you and loves you." my father has tried and tried to see us but my mother only thinks about herself and what she wants. he called her the other day calmly and politely he asked "hey (not saying her name) when can i see my kids again" she replied "first of all don't call me yelling" and hung up. my dad was not yelling she also lies about him trying to see us and talk to us. i am 12 now and even though i don't see my father as much as my mother i have a better relationship with him and feel like i can talk to him more than my mom. it has gotten so bad to the point i have thought of kms because i was so close to that side of the family. my mother wants nothing to do with that side of the family but its not her family its mine and i want to see them. my father and step mother said when they get money they would try to fight for custody and i have no problem with it. also my mother is wanting my step father to adopt me and my brothers we dont want that to happen and neither does my father she said that if he doesn't agree she would make him. she cant make him right? is it really her decision if i can see my father or not? can i runaway to his house instead of staying with my mother? PLAESE HELP!

[ccsmod15]

Hey there thanks for reaching out,

It sounds like you really love your father and his side of the family and that they love you a lot too. It’s hard when you don’t get to see the people you love.
Your dad is able to involve the police if your mom is not abiding by the court agreement in terms of your father’s visitation rights. This would also help provide legal documentation for the courts to show your mom refusing to comply with the custody split
To answer your question on adoption, If the legal parent does not agree to give the child up for adoption and the court finds that the parent can care for the child, the adoption will not happen.
If your dad does have 50:50 custody, you would be able to stay with him half of the time or whatever was agreed upon in the court.
There are a number of things we can help you with at the National Runaway Safeline. Some of the services we offer are to do three way calls with you and your parent to mediate a conversation, we could also get you in touch with some referrals for legal aid for your location. We are available 24/7 at both https://www.1800runaway.org/ and 1-800-RUNAWAY. 1-800-SUICIDE is also available too.

[Guest]

hello right now I am 11-12 years old my parent's had a divorce in I think 2016 it's 2022 right now and I need help I want to live with my dad but I don't know what to tell my mom I have been living with her since then the reason why is my school that I go to is trash racist I hate it my brother and sister live with my dad I want to live with them I don't want to leave my mother's side and make her sad I just need someone to talk to!

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support live either by phone or chat.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I'm 15 years old I was born in 2007 march 2nd and I would like to live with my dad cause I am unhappy living with my mom and stepdad multiple times in the past I was abused by my stepdad yes I'll admit I was acting out of line but I cant do this I feel unwanted in my own home I get to visit my dad every other weekend and I feel happiest with my dad I have depression and living with my mom and stepdad just makes it worse on a daily basis my stepdad and mom want to move to Connecticut but we live in NC Greensboro I have tried to kill myself multiple times because of how unhappy I am with my mom and stepdad the only reason why I'm not dead is because I get to see my dad and friends that I've been friends with sense 3rd grade they have helped me through so much and I'm afraid that moving to Connecticut will result in me not being able to live the life I need and want yes I have talked to my dad about this and he said I am more than welcome to come stay with him but my mom and stepdad wont let me and I have talked to them multiple times about this but they just dont seem to care and my dad is 100% okay with me staying with him and him taking custody of me but theres one problem my dad isnt financially able to fight against my mom in court about this so right now I'm pretty much on my own with defending myself in court my dad will be there and he is gonna be defending the part about him being able to live with him but I need to know what I can do to make this happen please if theres anything help I can get that doesnt involve a lot of money please tell me

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are going through a really hard time at home. You talked about depression and attempts at suicide. We hope that you are getting treatment for this with a therapist. You deserve that treatment, and if you aren't getting it, that might be something to tell the judge.

We are not legal experts and can only speak generally about this. It's unfortunate that your dad can't hire an attorney to help with this, but we hope that the court goes your way. We also hope, however it goes, that you can reach out to us so that we can give you the emotional support during this difficult time.

You can reach us 24/7 through this website to chat us, or call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). We truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

Originally, my Father and Mother split about 4 or 5 years ago, and ever since then, my life has gone to hell. I am having less and less happiness being with my Mother for several reasons. The main reasons in particular are how she always procrastinates, has a bad mood, and/or argues for no reason. Say for example I had wrestling practice that starts at 3:00 PM and we live 20 minutes away, she will end up leaving at 2:50-3:00 PM. I believe that as a child growing up in these conditions isn't great. Seeing the habits my Mother has will eventually rub off on me if I grow up seeing her habits. My Mother has 100% custody which was ordered about 12 years ago, a year after I was born. She allows me and my little brother to visit our Father every other Wednesday-Sunday. Our visitation days were cut short by our Mother a month ago because my Father got a new spouse and had moved on from my Mother. Mind you, my Mother had been cheating on my Father while they were together. She left me and my Father for a month and would always leave home at night and tell me she would be back in an hour. But like I was saying, my Father, asked for us to be allowed to meet his Spouse because his Spouse works 12+ hour work days. He would evidently like time with his Spouse and his children at the same time. My Mother essentially took my father's message of asking for us to meet his Spouse as "I want more time with my Girlfriend." So she cut the days to every other weekend. The night I heard the news I wept for a long time. My mother doesn't hit me as much as she used to as I'm growing older. I believe that discipline is needed but not to the point of her comprehension. For instance, one day, we were playing outside and I was about to hit a plastic baseball off of a plastic baseball tee or holder. Just as I swung the bat, my brother ran in front of the tee and the tee hit him in his eyebrow. I apologized for my life, but my Mom wasn't buying it, I kept pleading with her that I didn't mean it. But, what she does is grab the bat and swing the bat straight at my stomach as hard as she could, I had intense bruising and ended up coughing up blood. I was 9 years old at the time, I wasn't going to call 911, I wasn't able to make that decision on my own. I NEED HELP. My mother generally makes me unhappy. I could sleep for 7-9 hours and still wake up tired at her household, but with my Father, I wake up totally fine and ready to start the day like any normal child. I'm 13 currently and am opening up to my grandmother about the situation and it seems as if Its hopeless, my Mother almost lives in my head. She treats me horribly sometimes. Of course, she is an amazing mother and I love both my parents, but my mother makes me unhappy 4/5 times. I don't like talking to my Mom about this kind of stuff because she always has to be right, her mind is just like that. She will yell at me just because she likes to. Please. Help.

[ccsmod0]

Hello,

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

My parents broke two weeks before I was born and when i got older mom kept thereating and throwing stuff at me and hated that and kept asking can i live with my dad what should do

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We recognize the courage and strength it takes to seek help in situations like these, and we are happy to be of support for you in any way that we can. Based on the information you have shared; it sounds like your mom has custody of you and you are wanting to live with your dad. We hear you and we welcome you to reach out to us through our online chat portal, found on our website at www.1800runaway.org or give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Doing so will allow us to talk directly with you, where we can possibly gain more information on the situation in order to assist you with the appropriate resources. If you find yourself at risk or in immediate danger, we encourage you to please call 911 immediately.

We wish you peace, health, and safety.

Kindly,
NRS