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I want to live with my father but my mother has custody.

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  • #61
    I'm 14 and i'm a black kid from Baltimore. I can't stand my mom she is always abusing me i'm failing science and she is talking it too serious. I want to live with my dad because he has been in prison since i was 1 we share a perfect relationship together than me and my mom and he really gets me. He isn't serious about everything but he is just like "those dads". Please help me decide. I wanted to tell my mom that i wanted to live with him since i started 8th grade and she started abusing me. One time she gave me a black eye, another time she broke my legs and with a metal stick and i couldn't walk for 5 months straight. She gave me canker sores 23 times and i'm sick of it. I think it's best to live with my dad.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #62
    i'm 17 with a 9 month old, I live with my mother and she has full custody of me but i want to live with my father. My father is know for doing drugs, but me and him have a good relationship compared to my mother and stepdad, i have betrayed my parents trust and recently did it again and I keep doing it because I want to be independent already but my mother says i'm immature and act 12, I've tried to leave before but my mom said my dad had to bring me back because she has full custody, i tend to want to live with my dad the most when something bad happens because I get depressed and stressed and I just want to live with my dad ever since I was 13. Can I just have my dad pick me up and he not have to take me back or do I need to talk to a judge?
    Is running away illegal? How old do I have to be before I leave home? What is emancipation? We can address these legal questions and more about runaway and homeless youth on this board.

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like there is a lot of tension between you and your mom and stepdad and recent events have compounded things and it must be really frustrating. We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home. Sometimes if you are close to turning 18 the police may let you stay where you are but that policy is highly dependent on your location. You can call out to your local nonemergency police department (you can usually dial 311) to verify local runaway policy.

      It seems like your mom isn’t fully understanding you when you are trying to relay your thoughts and feelings about your current level of independence. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • #63
    Im 17 years old , when 8i was growing i use to think that my mom doesn't love me , even now i sometimes feel like that . i remember before she got married to my stepdad i was still in primary she use to tell her siblings that she doesn't want me . I was young i couldnt even explain the feeling , and she planted a seed she can't take out in me .

    she would even beat me up for things i didn't do and my little bro would make sure that I'm always fighting with my mom. My real dad wasnt living with us but everytime i was down i would call him and he would make sure i laugh before he hangs up the phone

    sometimes my mom would tease me , isolate me , insult me .

    She then got married and she moved in her husbands house wth me , i think my dad doesnt love me
    whenever he leaves locks out the house and leave me outside with no water , nor food
    everytime i do a little thing he takes my phone and hide it . If i get a new one he takes it too

    i failed my grade 11 and he punished me with a 6 months house arrest


    i wanna leave his house and go to my real dads place

    Comment


    • #64
      Hello,

      Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. Your situation sounds difficult. It was really courageous of you to reach out to us. You deserve to be treated better.

      If you ever seem to be locked out of the house and denied access to food and water you can always call 911. You are still a minor and they will be able to help you get back in. You deserve to feel supported and loved. Child Help is also a great resource in regards to the way your mom and step dad are treating you. Their number is 1800-422-4453.

      Your situation seems frustrating and unsettling. NAMI is a resource that you can reach out to to talk about how you are feeling. Their number is 1800-950-NAMI. You can also text NAMI to 741741. You are not alone in this.

      We can discuss your situation further if you call us at 1800-786-2929 or message us via our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We are available 24/7 and are confidential.

      Stay safe!
      National Runaway Safeline
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #65
        My parents got divorced when I was 9. I’m now 14 and live with my mom. I originally was going to live with my dad but my mom manipulated me to stay with her. I now want to live with my dad. I have asked my mom before if I wanted to If I could live with my dad. After I asked her she yelled that I didn’t love her and etc. when every me and my mom get into fights she threatens to leave and runaway to make me beg her to stay. My older sister told child services about it but my mom lied to child services about it and I could do nothing about it. My dad as asked several times if I want to move in with him. I really want to live with my dad but I’m scared what my mom will do.

        Comment


        • ccsmod13
          ccsmod13 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us! We know it can be difficult to reach out for help in tough situations. It sounds like you’ve lived with your mom few years and it hasn’t been working out for the best. It might be helpful communicating more to your dad about what you’ve been thinking considering the way your mom has responded in the past so that you can have more information about what you can do to safely live with your dad. It might be helpful to find some legal aid who can help you find answers for your specific case, we do provide legal aid resources specific to each state. If you would like some legal aid options to find out more about how to transfer custody to your dad, which he can call and use as well, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at 1800RUNAWAY.org so that we can find something that will work for your state. You don’t deserve to have to deal with a manipulative situation and you should be able to express yourself to your parents, we are here to listen and help with what we can. Another service we could help with is our conference call service. A conference call is where we help mediate a constructive conversation between you and a parent, if you’d like we can help you have a calmer conversation between you and your mom where both sides ae heard and blaming, yelling, and swearing are avoided. We understand you are scared of the outcome. Which is why it may be best to search all your options before doing anything. Talking to us, legal aid, your dad, or other people around who might be able to give advice is a hard but big and important step.

          We wish you the best of luck!

      • #66
        My parents we divide my mom has custody and I want to live with my dad I turn 13 on February 21 will I be able to say where I can stay

        Comment


        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.

          While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with, like your mom may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway if she is not supposed to have you there. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

          We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          Be safe,
          NRS

      • #67
        im 13 and currently live at my moms house. sheś always getting mad at me little things such as eating newer apples instead of older ones and forgetting to mop while on school vacation. she always says rude things to me like ¨go disapear, its what you do best¨ and she occasionally hits me with blunt objects such as books. i also have a stepdad that i dont like at all and always spoils my siblings while personally going out to get me in trouble by bringing up things from YEARS ago. my dad on the other hand loves me so very much and is disgusted at all of this. he lives a few cities away and i only see him twice a month. his house is near a school with great kids and is very close to my grandma who almost passed away but made it through. i hate it here, i hate it SO MUCH!! i told my mom i wanted to move away and she lost her ******** and started bawling in hysterics and told me she doesnt love me anymore and my step dad (as usual) gave me ******** about it. i just want to leave. if i cant leave this hell house. i might actually kill myself. please help me. i really need it. i feel like im always gonna cry and spend a lot of time in my room. my friends have noticed it i need help

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help, and we are glad you did.
          We are sorry to hear that you dealing with a difficult home life. You deserve to feel safe and loved and abuse of any kind is never ok. We don’t like to generalize because each person’s situation is unique. Custody can be tricky- but if your dad is open to the idea, he can petition the court for a different custody arrangement.
          We want you to know that you are not alone- there are many resources you can turn to when you are feeling overwhelmed or suicidal. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24/7 hotline that provides support. Another great option would be reaching out to a trusted teacher or school counselor. They are trained to help youth during difficult times. Having a strong support system can make a huge difference.
          You can also reach out directly to us via chat or over the phone- we can then provide specific resources for you.

          Best of luck,
          NRS

      • #68
        I'm about to turn 11 and 8 want to live with my father. I love my father more than my mom me and him have a strong relationship. Me and my mom don't I love but not as much as my dad. My sister is 6 and when i live with my father full time I want her to live with me. I'm almost like here mom I have always protected here from mean people at school. Or here homework but I don't no if she can come with me. And will the judge say yes to my wish or no. My dad lives with my grandma and my 2 uncle one aunt and 2 year old little cousin will that be a problem or will my dad have to move into a house or apartment

        Comment


        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Be safe, NRS

      • #69
        Hello, I want to live with my dad I see him 2 times a week. My mom has done nothing to me she trys to keep me happy. I just have a better relationship with my dad than my mom. I have a couple of questions hopefully you have an answer to all my questions. Me and my 6 year old sister cannot be separated we are like to peas and a pod if we go with a judge will my sister have the same days with my mom and same days with my dad if I go live with my father most of the time. Also my father lives with my grandma, grandpa,2 uncle's, 1 aunt and 1 little cousin. I share a room with my sister with my dad and my mom . Will my dad have to move to a house or an apartment so we can live with him full time

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          We are glad you reached out to us. Unfortunately, we are not experts on legal matters, such as custody. These are questions that may be better answered by legal services or your by calling your local nonemergency police number. You can always call us, and we can help talk through your options. In this case, we would not be able to tell you how that custody agreement might work, but we could help you look up legal services as a way to help you find the answers to your questions.

          Best of luck,
          NRS

      • #70
        I really want to stay with someone else not my mom. I am 17 and about to graduate, but I turn 18 in September. I will already be in college. I cannot wait that long. She does certain things for no reason and I try to understand her, but she never tries to understand me. I am tired of dealing with her. Yes, she has dealt with me for 17 years, but school is really stressing me out and she is not understanding. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but she does not care about that. She works all the time and never spends time with my brother and I. We barely have food at the house. She does not want me to have a job because she wants me to focus on school, but I cannot do that if I am wondering where my next meal is going to be. We have 2 dogs that my brother takes care of because she does not. They are inside dogs and they have fleas. The fleas get in our rooms and on our beds. The place we are staying has flies as well. My older sister left because she could not do it anymore. I know she is not perfect, but she is not even trying anymore.

        Comment


        • ccsmod9
          ccsmod9 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out NRS we appreciate you contacting us. We are sorry to hear that you are going through some really hard standards of living. From what we know, though we are not legal experts, you have to be over 18 to leave home. If you choose to leave your mom has the right to file a runaway report with the police and they would be looking for you. Because you are living in really bad standards what you can do is report the issue to CPS or a school counselor and once they report it someone would come out to see the living standards you are in and they might decide to pull you out of the home or even consider letting you be emancipated. You can do the reporting yourself with us or Child Help (800)-422-4453. They are a call line that helps youth report abuse and other things to Child Protective Services. Another thing you can do is call your local police non-emergency number and see if they might even make the runaway report. Sometimes they might not if you are close to being 18.
          We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          Be safe,
          NRS

      • #71
        Hi. When I was born my mom was 16, dad was 14. All my life I have heard stories about how he didnt want me. I finally met him for the first time when I was 13, we had so much in common. I've been talking to him a lot more, and he seems to have changed. Before this, he was a drug addict. Now I want to build a relationship with him, but my mom won't let me. Now I dont want to live with my mom anymore. But I dont want to hurt her. I want to live with my dad. But I dont want to leave my brothers and sisters and grandparents and wonderful boyfriend behind. But one day it was just the breaking point for me... me and my mom got into an argument because I had sent pictures to my bf. I felt really sad because she was disappointed in me. Not to mention other things happening, like me being yelled at and called names or being threatened. I love her so much but I dont want to be around her anymore. What do I do? Should I go and live with my dad and break contact with everyone I love here, or should I stay with her?

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems that you want to stop living with your mom who has custody of you to go live with your dad.

          While we are not experts on the law, if your mom has sole legal custody over you then your father has no legal right to guardianship, possibly only visitation. Therefore, if you are under 18 and decide to go live with your dad, your mom may file a runaway report, which means the police would most likely return you to her. Furthermore, your father could get in trouble with the law for harboring a runaway since he has no legal authority to let you stay. If your father would like to regain his custody, it might help to speak with local law services on custody. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

          It also sounds like you have a great support system and a lot of family and friends where you are currently living. Would it be an option for you and your mom to go to counseling together? Family therapy might be a great way for you to express how you are feeling, and how you would like more to have your dad in your life more. If you think you and your mom would be open to counseling, you can contact 211 for local resources in finding therapists or counseling services nearby.

          We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

          Be safe and good luck,
          NRS

      • #72
        I live with my mom and my dad left when i way younger now all me and my mom do is fight and my dad only has supervised visitation can i stilk take it to court and choose to live with my dad?1

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you really overwhelmed with what is going on at home between you and your mom.Unfortunately, we are not legal experts or custody experts by any means so we do not know why or how that could have happened. However if you call or chat us, we can provide you with local legal aid organizations' information if you would like to get legal help with your custody situation. If you have any way to get a hold of your dad, you might ask about what happened to try to get a better idea of why the courts placed you with your mom.

          Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat.

          We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

          Best of luck,

          NRS

      • #73
        so my parents have split up awhile ago and just recently my mom left to another state that is far away, and im not happy at my fathers cause my life is like a cinderlla story i do the chores when there is 7 other people in the house to help and i want to tell my dad everthing and tell him i want to go and live with my mom but i dont know how

        Comment


        • ccsmod16
          ccsmod16 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi, Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like your home situation is out of balance for you with you doing the chores for 7 other people and you left to feel like Cinderella; this alone is hard to take but now your mom has moved far away too. We are very sorry that you are going through this.

          In complicated matters that involve custody and legal matters your ability to have a say in your life is even harder. Possibly starting a conversation with your mom would help to get the adults to help work this out. The best way for us to help you is by talking about it by phone or live chat.

          We are here for you and you can reach us 24/7 on our hotline at 1800-786-2929 (1800-runaway) or via live chat through www.1800runaway.org
          We truly hope to hear from you soon.

          Sincerely,
          NRS

      • #74
        I'm 15 and I want to live with my father, who lost custody over me and my sister in 2012, I was given over to my grandparents but, I'm not happy here I feel trapped here I'm not allowed to do anything with friends and sometimes loved ones. I and my grandma get in fights every morning and night I have panic attacks every night and cry my self to sleep. My dad makes me feel safe in my own skin and make me feel happy, he never raises his voice at me and lets me have a social life, but I'm not sure if it legal for me to be with him, I just know I don't want to live here anymore, and I have wanted to live with him for a while. I really want my life back. Any advice helps rn

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out to NRS, it seems like you have been through a lot and don’t feel comfortable at home with your grandparents. It makes sense to want to go somewhere where you aren’t getting in fights constantly and forced into panic attacks.
          Since your father doesn’t have custody anymore then if you were to leave your grandparents could file a runaway report, and ask police to bring you back to their house. It’s possible that the police will take your side if you tell your story but by no means a guarantee.
          The most legal way you could go about this would be to look into either child abuse reporting, or your dad going to the court and try to get custody of you again.
          If you wanted to find some legal aid or just wanted to talk you can chat online, or call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We do hope things improve for you.

      • #75
        Hi so my parents have been split since I was 2 and idk how to break it to my mother that I want to move in with my dad and she wont let me and I'm worried she will get mad at me and my dad said you can and I have almost 10 diffrent reasons why I want to move in with him and I'm 16 and I wanna be able to be with my dad

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out to us. It makes sense you might feel some anxiety over approaching your mom about moving in with your dad. Perhaps you can write a letter explaining how you feel, why you want to move in with your dad, and perhaps even why the transition will be good for her too. You don't even have to give her this letter, but it might be good to get your thoughts down on paper. But that's just one idea. If it feels right to you, go for it. If not, maybe try something else.

          If you'd like to talk more about the situation we are here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We're a safe, confidential place to discuss what's going on. If you want, we can even mediate a conversation between you and your mom. But it's up to you. You can also chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org.

          All the best,
          NRS
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