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I want to live with my father but my mother has custody.

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time, and we want you to know you are not alone.
    It must be tough to want to live with your dad not being able to. One option to consider is asking yur mother if you can visit your dad, that way you can get a break and be able to see your dad. There also may be a reason you are unable to see or live with your dad, you could try asking your mom why you can’t see your dad. Also you could consider talking with a counselor about what you are going through. You could talk to your mom about setting up an appointment.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you. If you have any other questions or would like to explore options please chat with us or call us. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I`m only 10 and i want to live with my dad but went to jail when i was a month old so my mom has full custody over me but i don`t like it here and want to move in with my dad if she found out i was filling this out would get in big trouble so i need help

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to share a bit about your situation with us here at NRS. It was very brave of you to reach out for help in this situation and it was a good first step to getting any support you may need. It sounds like your dad has been a great listener when it comes to how you are feeling and what your needs are, so it's understandable you would want to spend more time with him. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel supported. From what you mentioned your mom and step mom have been making you feel uncomfortable and their behaviors are taking a toll on your mental health. Parents are supposed to make you feel cared for and wanted, so it is not okay that they are making you feel this way.

    To answer your question about living with your dad it could be possible, but it might be a bit challenging. If your mom has primary custody then she gets to decide where you spend your time outside of your dad's visitation times. The easiest way to live with your dad would be with your mom's permission. The other way would be for your dad to re-work your living arrangements either directly through your mom or through the courts. A helpful start would be to talk with your dad about what this might look like for you and if he can help getting your mom's permission in any way. You can contact us directly by phone or chat if you want to talk more about in depth about this.

    Having a support system to lean on during difficult times is really important. We want to encourage you to check-in with yourself on how you are doing emotionally and reach out anyone who might be a good listening ear. This could be other family members, a teacher or counselor at school, a therapist, or another adult you trust.

    We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 14 and live in washington with my mom and i visit my dad every weekend. I have been wanting to live with my dad for a while but everytime I bring it up me my mom, and my stepmom (lesbian mom) get into an argument and they try to tell me some of the bad things that he did during the beginning of the divorce in hopes to convince me that he is this big bad guy but he is not. My dad actually listens to me and tries to talk to talk to me if I have an issue with my mom or anything else. In the past roughly 3 years ago my mom has held me down in the shower and ran the shower on as cold as it would go with the water right on my face along with the drain plugged. after she told me to take a normal shower and I was forced to undress in front of both my stepmom and my real mom i was mabey 11-12. Since I have tried to forget about it but I don't know if this is really wrong or if it is normal for parents to give their children as my mom called it a "cold shower". Everytime I get upset at them or try to tell them my feelings about my dad they always say that my dad has been brainwashing me from a young age, I think that she is trying to push me away from him but it is only making us closer. I feel that she is trying to push me apart from him every chance she gets along with my counsler that sides with my mom no matter what she is Dr Kathy marshack you can google her and find her. I just want to live at my dads and see my mom less than I already do. I'll ask for some extra time and have been asking for some more time with him for the last 4 years and only gotten mabey 2 extra days with him. My dad is completely open with me living in his apartment with him and I used to live in the same town as him but my mom moved me to washington right after the 4th grade. My question is what my mom has been doing is wrong, and is is possible for me to live with my dad?

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,
    Thanks for reaching out to NRS, it seems like you are going through a confusing and difficult time right now and its understandable that you would feel like you want to live with a parent that is more supportive instead of one that stresses you out.
    If your dad doesn’t have partial custody of you then he will need to legally challenge for custody unless your mom gives permission for you to live with him. We do have legal aid resources available if you can reach out to our hotline directly.
    Another option that may be worth looking into is nami.org which is a mental health focused line. They may help you to determine if therapy is an option you want to consider, or if you have other options you could use to help cope with your feelings.
    The last option you would have is child abuse reporting if you feel like your mom’s actions constitute that. For more information on that you can check childhelp.org for more information. If you were to leave without your mom’s permission then she could file a runaway report even if you are safe with family. This means police would try and bring you home and your dad could potentially get in trouble as well.
    Hopefully you find these options helpful. If you have more questions, or just need someone to talk with you can always call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929, or us our online chat at 1800runaway.org.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, um i’m twelve and my parents split when i was 2. the judge felt it was best for mom to have custody but i want to live with my dad now. I haven’t told either of my parents but i’ve taken multiple tests and all of them said i have moderate depression. I just don’t want to be that middle school girl that says she has depression. My mom stresses me out with my siblings, i feel like she thinks im fat, i’m 5’4 and she’s 5’2 so i think she feel like i need to be skinny if i’m taller. She also yells at me and me and my dad don’t have the best bond but it a better bond, so how do i get to live with my dad?

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds really frustrating to have your mom keep changing her mind about things and it's not fair tht she treats your half-siblings differently.

    It may be beneficial to speak with your dad directly about your desire to live with him. Sometimes custody transfers will need to go through the family court system and it may be beneficial to speak with a legal advocate. If you need help locating a legal aid group near you you can check out https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    So I want to live with my father but my mother keeps making up lies like for example my young sister wants to live my dad but my mom said wait until she’s 13 but now my mother is saying 18 I’m currently 12 right now my mother doesn’t understand that we don’t wanna live with her I still remember the horrible things she did to me and my young sister but my mother doesn’t treat my half siblings like that my mom said she could live without me and my sister my mom also said to hurry and sign papers to live with my dad so I’m wondering how do u sign papers to live with another parent

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It seems like you have been through a lot recently and that you feel like your dad’s house is a healthier place to be for your mental health. It sucks that your mom would take out her feelings on you when going through the custody battle, that isn’t how they should be acting. It’s understandable to want to stay at a house where you feel more cared for and supported.
    If you did want to live with your dad permanently he would need to have custody of you. Otherwise if you were to try and stay there your mom could file a runaway report and have you brought back to her. It might also end up preventing you from getting to visit your dad depending on the rules the court put in place. If you do want to pursue getting your dad full custody we do have legal aid resources that could potentially help out.
    If you have more questions or just need someone to vent to please reach out to our online chat, or call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 12 years old and I live with my mom my little sister and my moms boyfriend I go to my dads a lot now but I love it at my dads I’m always sad to leave. At my dads I’m way more happy they always spend time with me but at moms she’s always in her room smoking and I’m bored all day and sad. My dad tried to get Half custody of me but he lost when that was happening my mom would always scream at me and make me feel lonely. My mom always yells at me and screams at me sometimes she will grab me and push me she is very mean to me but my stepmom makes me happy. I just don’t know what to do because I’m so scared of telling my mom because she has like anger issues and I’m to scared so what should I do?

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    We are glad you reached out to us. Unfortunately, we are not experts on legal matters, such as custody. These are questions that may be better answered by legal services or your by calling your local nonemergency police number. You can always call us, and we can help talk through your options. In this case, we would not be able to tell you how that custody agreement might work, but we could help you look up legal services as a way to help you find the answers to your questions.

    Best of luck,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My dad has recently gotten a job 48 hours away from where we live I want to live with my dad but I don’t know how my mom with react I rlly want to be with him he notices me and has fun with me unlike my mom who completely ignores me but acts like she loves me around everyone else besides our family she shows favoritism to my sister and brother and I can’t stand it anymore I just want to be happy with my dad

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  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there –

    Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. Hopefully by helping you and giving you support in your crisis, there are many other youth in your situation that can also be helped. No one deserves to be treated that way at all. It’s great and really brave of you that you were able to reach out for help and try to get removed from that situation. It can be really hard to reach out to report abuse or even talk about what has been going on at home because of what could happen.

    Unfortunately, we can’t tell you what to do because you know your situation better than anyone else or even what your mother would do. That is something that is pretty impossible to answer. As you have probably read throughout out our threads here, that we aren’t legal experts and that the age of majority does vary from state to state. So we aren’t going to go through that with you as you can find it easily. We want to make sure that you are safe doing whatever you decided to do, it's certainly a jump step to make. Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing it might be a good idea so that you can think about what is reasonably possible for you to do and want isn’t. Factoring in these kinds of thoughts into your overall plan, again can possibly help you in your choice.

    Hope to hear from you soon!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’ve lived with my mom for basically my whole life since my parents got divorced when i was young. I’m 17 now, and when i tried to tell my mom that I want to live with my dad last night, she told me no. My mom has been emotionally abusive in the past and although our relationship is better than it was, I still think it would be best for my mental health if i lived with my father. My mom has custody of me. Would she take legal action if I just packed my stuff and left tomorrow? In my opinion, the only reason she even told me no was so she still had someone to babysit my 9 year old sister(she has a different dad btw). I’ve always had respect for my mom and i have always been grateful for the things she’s done for me. The people in my life are telling me they’re proud that i’m leaving, but i’m scared that she will call the cops and possibly report me as a runaway and arrest my dad for ‘harboring a runaway’. Do you guys think leaving tomorrow is a good idea?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. It sounds like you’re feeling that you are less cared for at home with your mother and that possibly living with dad or your grandmother would be a better situation for you.

    We understand things can start to feel overwhelming and frustrated.
    We are sorry you are going through a tough emotional time.
    Sometimes when things are too stressful it might help to talk with someone about it.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.

    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more about your situation and let us know how we might help, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    Reaching out to NRS to day was a very courageous thing to do. Good job.

    Take care,
    NRS
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