Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I want to live with my father but my mother has custody.

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    My mother and father divorced on my 8th birthday and I'm not aloud to speak to him, contact him, or see him ever again because my mother has custody. He used to abuse us and do drugs, but he's changed. My mother constantly reminds me that she's disappointed in me, I tried committing suicide several times a week and she didn't even notice. I overdosed and I almost died but I started throwing up non stop for a couple days and she didn't seem to care and made me go to school anyway, my school found out and told my mother to go to a suicide prevention hospital thing and she told them I didn't need one, I was cutting too and she did nothing about that. I can't stand living with her, I have no money for a lawyer, so I don't know what I'm going to do... who do I contact to tell them I need to move in with my father? I need to live with my father, I'm 12 years old, I should have the right to move in with him. I miss and love him so much. I can't live my mother.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      It sounds like you are going through a lot, so we are glad you are reaching out to us because we are here to help. We know it isn’t easy to ask for help, but contacting us is a good first step in figuring out your options.

      You mentioned in your message that you’ve tried committing suicide several times a week and that you have overdosed in the past. Besides your mother, have you talked to anyone about your feelings or what led you to attempting suicide? We want you to know that you are not alone and that there are people out there that can talk with you about your feelings. Whether that be a family friend or someone at school you trust, do you think you would be willing to talk with someone close? If not, we would like to empower you to reach out to resources over the phone that have people able to talk to you at any time. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 provides 24/7, free and confidential support to all of their callers. A trained crisis worker will listen to you, provide support in your time of need as well as share any resources that may be helpful. Our number at 1-800-786-2929 is also 24/7 and can help you talk through and explore your feelings. If you are unable to call on the phone, there are also texting services that can help you when you have suicidal or self-harming thoughts. By texting “TWLOHA” to 741-741 you can begin texting with a trained crisis counselor who will receive your message and respond quickly. They too offer 24/7 support to talk you through your current feelings and may be able to help you think of other ways to cope with your difficult situation. Some coping methods that may be non-harmful to yourself are journaling, physical exercise, or even removing yourself from the situation when things get difficult.
      In your message you also mentioned that the school tried to tell your mom to enter you into a suicide prevention hospital but she said she you didn’t need one. Has the school been involved since then? If no, discussing the current state of your feelings and your mother’s reaction to someone at the school who knows the situation. They may be able to connect you to resources that you can take part in through the school if your mom does not seem responsive to your needs.

      You also mentioned that you would like information to move in with your father but you also mentioned that you are unable to contact him. Does he know that you would like to live with him and if he would be willing to help you? If he knows of any legal aid in the area or a family member that may be able to help might be a good start for the process. For our services, while we are not legal experts, we can connect you to resources that may be able to help fully understand the situation. At .lawhelp.org/find-help/, there is a resource that can help find legal help in your state. Many of the resources there are “pro-bono” meaning that they could offer free legal help. It may be a good idea to have your father reach out to these resources so that he could provide the necessary information that they may ask (such as details of the custody arrangement following the divorce.

      As we said we are here to help you but we are also here to listen. If you wanted to talk about any of the options we mentioned before or brainstorm new ideas, please do not hesitate to call the number we mentioned before (1-880-786-2929). We have liners that are able to listen to you anywhere or anytime!

      Best of luck!

  • #17
    Hello, my name is Aaron and Ive been living with my mom for 14 years, she hasn’t done nothing wrong to me, she takes care of me and she does the best to keep me happy and that’s why I love her, but I’ve wanted to live with my dad for the past year because I feel like I’ve been with my mom a long time and I want to live with my dad for half and half, and my dad is a good person. My dad told me that if I wanted to live with him I could and my mom once told me if I ever wanted to go live with my dad I can feel free but I don’t think she actually mean it, and I feel like if I do I might break her Heart so what can I do or what should I do?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 12-12-2018, 04:17 AM.

    Comment


    • #18
      Reply: Hello, my name is Aaron

      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you do not want to hurt your mothers feelings but you would like to move in with your dad. We understand that this is a tough decision for to make and an even tougher one to break to your mom. We can’t tell you what to do but we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Take care,
      NRS

      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #19
        I really wanna live with my dad because my mom only really likes my sister or thats how i feel and my dad loves both of us but i wanna live with my dad by my self so i wanna try to run away to live with my dad without making my mom feel like she a bad mom even though she treats me bad.

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there,

          Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and that you feel that your mom likes your sister more than you. You do not deserve to be treated that way.

          In regards to your plan of living your father, we would encourage you to speak with both your parents if you haven’t already about this. If you felt more comfortable, perhaps your dad first so he could be a support in discussing this with your mom. Some things to consider would be guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your guardian and yourself in order to reach an understanding.

          We aren’t legal experts and do not want to say anything that is untrue and mislead you. Some options could be, after making sure that your father is willing and able to take care of you, to reach out to the original person who decided your custody, whether they are a caseworker or a lawyer, to see what could be done. We also have legal resources available, but for confidentiality reasons can only provide them if you call in.

          We would love to talk more about the details of your situation so that we can work towards a solution that you find acceptable. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
          We hope this information was helpful and take care.
          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      • #20
        Hi I am 16 years old my mom and dad got divorced when I was younger. So I live with my mom and I barley see my dad. Living with my mom really stresses me out, and Im sure if I told her that I want to live live with my dad she would say no, because she thinks she controls my whole life. Living here with my mom I feel like I have NO control over my life at all. I have 2 sisters and when we get into arguments I feel like she treats me unfair, and handles our problems only when she is in the mood. If I continue to live with her I'm afraid that one day when I do something she doesn't like and decides to hit me or "whoop" me Im going to get really angry and just flash out and fight her,because sometimes she just makes me so angry. I mean I've been living with he for 16 year and within those years I go to his house what every other weekend if she doesn't have something for us to do. Like I have after this month a year before I go to college I've lived with her dang near all my life, why cant I live with my dad until I go to college. what should I do?

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi,

          Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation without much support. That must be overwhelming. We’re glad you reached out.

          You’ve mentioned that you’re worried about your mom hitting you. If she’s hit you before, or even threatened to, that’s completely unacceptable behavior and could constitute abuse. Your safety is the most important thing and you don’t deserve to be treated that way. If you feel unsafe or want to discuss that aspect of your situation, you have the right to tell someone. You can always call our crisis hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our chat service at 1800runaway.org. If you want to talk to someone specifically about abuse or want help reporting it, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

          If you feel unsafe or uncertain talking to your mom about wanting to move to your dad’s, it might be best to discuss that idea with your dad first. If you’ve already tried that and want some help talking to your mom, you could try using our conference call service. One of our liners would serve as a moderator between you and your mom, enforcing ground rules to ensure that you are heard and boundaries aren’t crossed. If that sounds like something that might interest you, or if you simply want to talk, don’t hesitate to call us anytime, 24/7. We’re here to listen.

          Thanks again for reaching out. We hope to hear from you soon.

      • #21
        Hi im 16 years old Live with my mom and visit my dad every other weekend. I want to live with my dad but i think if i tell my mom that she will no have it. living with my mom is very stressful. I just feel like im being treated unfair on the regular, like when me and my sisters get into arguments i feel like she handles it unfairly most of the time. im afraid that one day when i do something my mom does not like , and she hits me or"whoops" me im going to just flash out and like hit her. because she just makes me so mad. like i have lived with her for all of life. i think my dad should get some time since im going to college in like a year. what should I do because im on the verge of running away.

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Please see our response to your similar post:

          "Hi,

          Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation without much support. That must be overwhelming. We’re glad you reached out.

          You’ve mentioned that you’re worried about your mom hitting you. If she’s hit you before, or even threatened to, that’s completely unacceptable behavior and could constitute abuse. Your safety is the most important thing and you don’t deserve to be treated that way. If you feel unsafe or want to discuss that aspect of your situation, you have the right to tell someone. You can always call our crisis hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our chat service at 1800runaway.org. If you want to talk to someone specifically about abuse or want help reporting it, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

          If you feel unsafe or uncertain talking to your mom about wanting to move to your dad’s, it might be best to discuss that idea with your dad first. If you’ve already tried that and want some help talking to your mom, you could try using our conference call service. One of our liners would serve as a moderator between you and your mom, enforcing ground rules to ensure that you are heard and boundaries aren’t crossed. If that sounds like something that might interest you, or if you simply want to talk, don’t hesitate to call us anytime, 24/7. We’re here to listen.

          Thanks again for reaching out. We hope to hear from you soon."

      • #22
        Ok so I'm 13 and I want to live with my mom not my dad. When I was little my dad took custody of me and when I lived with my mom it was really rough but ever since he took me she doesn't do anything like she used to it's like she opened up her eyes and actually took notice that she should have done better with me when she did have custody of me but ever since I got taken I have always wanted to live with her instead no matter what I get visits every other weekend with her but every time I leave I feel so sad inside and I shut myself away from everyone and I just cry quietly for hours bc I don't want anyone to hear me bc I cried when I left her when I was little and my step mom heard me and she asked why I was crying and I told her and she said I need to stop crying over her. My step mom wouldn't know what its like bc her parents never got a divorce. I just miss my mom so much and she wants me to live with her also but I don't know what to do. I sometimes think of running away to her bc ik my dream to live with her will never come true and I sometimes think of hurting myself but I don't tell my dad or step mom bc they tell me I just want attention.
        Last edited by ccsmod4; 01-05-2019, 03:14 AM.

        Comment


        • #23
          Reply: Ok so I'm 13


          Hello,
          Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

          We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
          It is times like these that can be toughest to cope with. It is important that you remember to exercise self-care. It sounds like you have been a strong with trying to cope with everything but there are times when you feel sad.
          Your feelings matter and sometimes it helps if you have someone that is supportive to talk to. It sounds like you have a good understanding with your mother. It must feel nice to have her support.

          We understand that sometimes things can be a bit confusing thus making it hard to know just what to do. You did a great job reaching out today.
          We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more about your situation and explore some options on getting better communication and understanding from your father and stepmother.
          We are here to listen and here to help.
          We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you.

          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Take care,
          NRS

          We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #24
            I want to live with my dad but my mom says no cuz my dad is mentally unstable. They split up when I was 5 when my dad had a mental break down and tried killing himself. He also threatened to kill my mom and me. I am now 13 turning 14 in June and my dad has changed a lot, and my mom doesn't understand that. My mom found a boyfriend that is mad all the time and calls me names and makes me doubt myself. She is breaking up with him but it is still hard. I also have a 2-year-old little brother and a 1-year-old little sister. I don't want to leave them but it will be in their best interest. I also have anger problems. With my mom, all it is is chores and school. With my dad, I can play games and not worry about chores. I go with my dad every other weekend. Please help!

            Comment


            • ccsmod3
              ccsmod3 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there and thanks contacting National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you are dealing with something at the moment that is really bothering you. It must be hard to not have your mothers support with your desire to live with your father. It’s understandable to want to live with your father and you seem to really enjoy spending time with him. It seems like your mother is really concerned about your safety considering what has happened in the past with your father and must be hard to have gone through that in the past and now experiencing not having a good relationship with your mother’s boyfriend. It may be possible that things improve for you, your mother, and your siblings when your mother leaves the boyfriend but, it is understandable to feel like you just want to live elsewhere will all that is going on. It may be beneficial to communicate with your mother about how you are feeling and try to talk about how things can be better for all of you in the home if there is not the option for you to leave right now with your mother’s permission. We are also more than willing to talk with you a bit further about this and some options for you. Please, feel free to give us a call at 1800-RUNWAY or chat with us live by visiting our website 1800runway.org. We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

          • #25
            I’m currently 15 & just want to know what to do to live with my mother currently my father has my full custody but we argue a lot he says stuff that really hits me hard i don’t think communitcation will solve this i’m tired off the same thing happening i really do not wanna be here ever since i moved back i’ve fallen to depression and i’m doing bad in school i try my best but already have so much in mind i mean i love my dad but being here is destroying me what can i do in order to live with my mother even if my dad don’t want me too

            Comment


            • ccsmod6
              ccsmod6 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there, thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you are going through a difficult situation right now. It must be hard to be arguing with your father a lot and feeling that communication will not solve it. It may be beneficial to communicate with your mother how you feel. Though she does not have custody, she is still your parent and may be able to help you communicate with your father better or communicate her own concerns to your father. We are not legal experts here at NRS so, we can only really provide you with general information about your situation and it may be best to speak with a legal advisor if you want more detailed information. We do know that when it comes to custody, whoever has full custody of you has the legal right to make primary decisions about you. In your case, that will include where and with whom you stay. So, unless your father gives you permission to live with your mother, your mother will have to go through the courts for something like that to change. If you have not already, it may be beneficial to tell your father about your desire to live with your mother and explore the possibilities of that. Maybe your father would be willing to meet you in the middle and allow you to alternate weeks staying at your father and your mother’s home (one week you stay with your father, the next week you stay with your mother, and that continues back and forth.) It can be hard to deal with depression and your mental health is important here. It may be beneficial to speak with a school counselor, who could also maybe help you with the issues you’re having with school, or contact an agency called NAMI to speak with professionals who are able to help you navigate how you are feeling right now. NAMI has a website, www.nami.org, and a hotline 1800-950-NAMI you could use to contact them. We would love to be able to talk with you further about everything or anything else you may have a concern with. Please, feel free to give us a call on our 24/7 hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us live by visiting our website 1800runaway.org. We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

          • #26
            I currently live with my very religious mother and really want to move in with my dad. She is pushing her beliefs onto me and makes me feel stupid whenever I bring up the fact that I am not religious and that I feel very uncomfortable when I am forced to go to church and pray before dinner and read the bible with her before bed. She says I can stop attending once I am 18, but I don't know if I can handle another 2 years of this. My dad has always said that I can move in with him if I wanted to, but I don't know how to approach the subject with my mum.

            Comment


            • #27
              Reply: I currently live with my very religious mother

              Hi,
              Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

              It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
              We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about what you have been feeling.
              You are very brave for doing so. Good for you.
              It sounds like there are some disagreements between you and your mon of a religous nature. That's sounds tough.
              NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.

              Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

              NRS is here to listen and here to help.
              Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you during this challenging time.
              We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

              Take care,
              NRS

              We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • #28
                I am 15 yrs. old and I currently live with my mom & stepdad. She has full custody of me and I see my dad most weekends. I just moved houses and schools because of my mom & stepdad because we moved to a new town, and my dad lives in the same town we used to live in and that’s where I’ve been going to school for 9 years and I like the school better & all my friends are there. me and my stepdad do not really like each other & I constantly have arguments/fights with him and we always end up yelling & screaming at each other and I’m always crying and stressed out bc of him. I’m tired of being in the same house as him & can’t stand him anymore. I want to live with my dad but my mom wants me to stay with her and asked her if I could stay w/ my dad and she said no. I really want to live with my dad. What can I do??
                Last edited by ccsmod4; 03-02-2019, 03:00 AM.

                Comment


                • #29
                  Reply: I am 15 yrs old and i currently live with my mom & stepdad


                  Hello,
                  Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

                  We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are dealing with a good amount of stress and you are quite frustrated with the situation. Your idea would be to live with your dad but mom says no leaving you feeling uncertain about what to do.
                  We understand that it must be hard for you being apart from your father but transitioning to a new town and school. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail share and or explore some options or how more about how we might help specifically, please call or chat soon.

                  Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

                  If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

                  We hope to hear from you soon.

                  Take care,
                  NRS

                  We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                  Comment


                  • #30
                    I want to live with my father but my mom will not let me she and her boyfriend always put me down and make me think about killing myself and I want to live with my farther and she been lied to me for my hole life she said my farther left bc he was a bad farther but she was cheating on him and always fighting so my dad had a lot of it so he told her off and she kick him out and she was saying he a bad farther

                    Comment


                    • ccsmod6
                      ccsmod6 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hello there,

                      Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way by your mother and her boyfriend. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

                      Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general idea of possible options about living with your father. If your father is your legal guardian, we would suggest reaching out to him and seeing if there could be an agreement for him to take you in with your mother’s consent. If he’s not, you could reach out to the caseworker or lawyer who decided your custody. If there is a way to make this work, some things to consider would be guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your parents and yourself in order to reach an understanding.

                      We are sorry to hear that you are coping with suicidal thoughts. If you were interested in professional mental health services, a good resource could be the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) at 1-877-726-4727 and online at samhsa.gov. Additionally, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is a resource with support groups among other services, at 1-800-950-NAMI and online at nami.org. If you feel that you’re in danger of harming yourself or ending your life, both the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 suicidepreventionlifeline.org and 9-1-1 if you feel like you are in immediate danger, are available to you.

                      If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
                      We hope this information was helpful and take care.
                      National Runaway Safeline
                      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                  Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
                  Auto-Saved
                  x
                  Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
                  x
                  x
                  Working...
                  X