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I want to live with my father but my mother has custody.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I currently live with my very religious mother and really want to move in with my dad. She is pushing her beliefs onto me and makes me feel stupid whenever I bring up the fact that I am not religious and that I feel very uncomfortable when I am forced to go to church and pray before dinner and read the bible with her before bed. She says I can stop attending once I am 18, but I don't know if I can handle another 2 years of this. My dad has always said that I can move in with him if I wanted to, but I don't know how to approach the subject with my mum.

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  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there, thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you are going through a difficult situation right now. It must be hard to be arguing with your father a lot and feeling that communication will not solve it. It may be beneficial to communicate with your mother how you feel. Though she does not have custody, she is still your parent and may be able to help you communicate with your father better or communicate her own concerns to your father. We are not legal experts here at NRS so, we can only really provide you with general information about your situation and it may be best to speak with a legal advisor if you want more detailed information. We do know that when it comes to custody, whoever has full custody of you has the legal right to make primary decisions about you. In your case, that will include where and with whom you stay. So, unless your father gives you permission to live with your mother, your mother will have to go through the courts for something like that to change. If you have not already, it may be beneficial to tell your father about your desire to live with your mother and explore the possibilities of that. Maybe your father would be willing to meet you in the middle and allow you to alternate weeks staying at your father and your mother’s home (one week you stay with your father, the next week you stay with your mother, and that continues back and forth.) It can be hard to deal with depression and your mental health is important here. It may be beneficial to speak with a school counselor, who could also maybe help you with the issues you’re having with school, or contact an agency called NAMI to speak with professionals who are able to help you navigate how you are feeling right now. NAMI has a website, www.nami.org, and a hotline 1800-950-NAMI you could use to contact them. We would love to be able to talk with you further about everything or anything else you may have a concern with. Please, feel free to give us a call on our 24/7 hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us live by visiting our website 1800runaway.org. We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m currently 15 & just want to know what to do to live with my mother currently my father has my full custody but we argue a lot he says stuff that really hits me hard i don’t think communitcation will solve this i’m tired off the same thing happening i really do not wanna be here ever since i moved back i’ve fallen to depression and i’m doing bad in school i try my best but already have so much in mind i mean i love my dad but being here is destroying me what can i do in order to live with my mother even if my dad don’t want me too

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there and thanks contacting National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you are dealing with something at the moment that is really bothering you. It must be hard to not have your mothers support with your desire to live with your father. It’s understandable to want to live with your father and you seem to really enjoy spending time with him. It seems like your mother is really concerned about your safety considering what has happened in the past with your father and must be hard to have gone through that in the past and now experiencing not having a good relationship with your mother’s boyfriend. It may be possible that things improve for you, your mother, and your siblings when your mother leaves the boyfriend but, it is understandable to feel like you just want to live elsewhere will all that is going on. It may be beneficial to communicate with your mother about how you are feeling and try to talk about how things can be better for all of you in the home if there is not the option for you to leave right now with your mother’s permission. We are also more than willing to talk with you a bit further about this and some options for you. Please, feel free to give us a call at 1800-RUNWAY or chat with us live by visiting our website 1800runway.org. We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I want to live with my dad but my mom says no cuz my dad is mentally unstable. They split up when I was 5 when my dad had a mental break down and tried killing himself. He also threatened to kill my mom and me. I am now 13 turning 14 in June and my dad has changed a lot, and my mom doesn't understand that. My mom found a boyfriend that is mad all the time and calls me names and makes me doubt myself. She is breaking up with him but it is still hard. I also have a 2-year-old little brother and a 1-year-old little sister. I don't want to leave them but it will be in their best interest. I also have anger problems. With my mom, all it is is chores and school. With my dad, I can play games and not worry about chores. I go with my dad every other weekend. Please help!

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  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: Ok so I'm 13


    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    It is times like these that can be toughest to cope with. It is important that you remember to exercise self-care. It sounds like you have been a strong with trying to cope with everything but there are times when you feel sad.
    Your feelings matter and sometimes it helps if you have someone that is supportive to talk to. It sounds like you have a good understanding with your mother. It must feel nice to have her support.

    We understand that sometimes things can be a bit confusing thus making it hard to know just what to do. You did a great job reaching out today.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more about your situation and explore some options on getting better communication and understanding from your father and stepmother.
    We are here to listen and here to help.
    We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Ok so I'm 13 and I want to live with my mom not my dad. When I was little my dad took custody of me and when I lived with my mom it was really rough but ever since he took me she doesn't do anything like she used to it's like she opened up her eyes and actually took notice that she should have done better with me when she did have custody of me but ever since I got taken I have always wanted to live with her instead no matter what I get visits every other weekend with her but every time I leave I feel so sad inside and I shut myself away from everyone and I just cry quietly for hours bc I don't want anyone to hear me bc I cried when I left her when I was little and my step mom heard me and she asked why I was crying and I told her and she said I need to stop crying over her. My step mom wouldn't know what its like bc her parents never got a divorce. I just miss my mom so much and she wants me to live with her also but I don't know what to do. I sometimes think of running away to her bc ik my dream to live with her will never come true and I sometimes think of hurting myself but I don't tell my dad or step mom bc they tell me I just want attention.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 01-05-2019, 03:14 AM.

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Please see our response to your similar post:

    "Hi,

    Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation without much support. That must be overwhelming. We’re glad you reached out.

    You’ve mentioned that you’re worried about your mom hitting you. If she’s hit you before, or even threatened to, that’s completely unacceptable behavior and could constitute abuse. Your safety is the most important thing and you don’t deserve to be treated that way. If you feel unsafe or want to discuss that aspect of your situation, you have the right to tell someone. You can always call our crisis hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our chat service at 1800runaway.org. If you want to talk to someone specifically about abuse or want help reporting it, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

    If you feel unsafe or uncertain talking to your mom about wanting to move to your dad’s, it might be best to discuss that idea with your dad first. If you’ve already tried that and want some help talking to your mom, you could try using our conference call service. One of our liners would serve as a moderator between you and your mom, enforcing ground rules to ensure that you are heard and boundaries aren’t crossed. If that sounds like something that might interest you, or if you simply want to talk, don’t hesitate to call us anytime, 24/7. We’re here to listen.

    Thanks again for reaching out. We hope to hear from you soon."

  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation without much support. That must be overwhelming. We’re glad you reached out.

    You’ve mentioned that you’re worried about your mom hitting you. If she’s hit you before, or even threatened to, that’s completely unacceptable behavior and could constitute abuse. Your safety is the most important thing and you don’t deserve to be treated that way. If you feel unsafe or want to discuss that aspect of your situation, you have the right to tell someone. You can always call our crisis hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our chat service at 1800runaway.org. If you want to talk to someone specifically about abuse or want help reporting it, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

    If you feel unsafe or uncertain talking to your mom about wanting to move to your dad’s, it might be best to discuss that idea with your dad first. If you’ve already tried that and want some help talking to your mom, you could try using our conference call service. One of our liners would serve as a moderator between you and your mom, enforcing ground rules to ensure that you are heard and boundaries aren’t crossed. If that sounds like something that might interest you, or if you simply want to talk, don’t hesitate to call us anytime, 24/7. We’re here to listen.

    Thanks again for reaching out. We hope to hear from you soon.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi im 16 years old Live with my mom and visit my dad every other weekend. I want to live with my dad but i think if i tell my mom that she will no have it. living with my mom is very stressful. I just feel like im being treated unfair on the regular, like when me and my sisters get into arguments i feel like she handles it unfairly most of the time. im afraid that one day when i do something my mom does not like , and she hits me or"whoops" me im going to just flash out and like hit her. because she just makes me so mad. like i have lived with her for all of life. i think my dad should get some time since im going to college in like a year. what should I do because im on the verge of running away.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I am 16 years old my mom and dad got divorced when I was younger. So I live with my mom and I barley see my dad. Living with my mom really stresses me out, and Im sure if I told her that I want to live live with my dad she would say no, because she thinks she controls my whole life. Living here with my mom I feel like I have NO control over my life at all. I have 2 sisters and when we get into arguments I feel like she treats me unfair, and handles our problems only when she is in the mood. If I continue to live with her I'm afraid that one day when I do something she doesn't like and decides to hit me or "whoop" me Im going to get really angry and just flash out and fight her,because sometimes she just makes me so angry. I mean I've been living with he for 16 year and within those years I go to his house what every other weekend if she doesn't have something for us to do. Like I have after this month a year before I go to college I've lived with her dang near all my life, why cant I live with my dad until I go to college. what should I do?

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and that you feel that your mom likes your sister more than you. You do not deserve to be treated that way.

    In regards to your plan of living your father, we would encourage you to speak with both your parents if you haven’t already about this. If you felt more comfortable, perhaps your dad first so he could be a support in discussing this with your mom. Some things to consider would be guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your guardian and yourself in order to reach an understanding.

    We aren’t legal experts and do not want to say anything that is untrue and mislead you. Some options could be, after making sure that your father is willing and able to take care of you, to reach out to the original person who decided your custody, whether they are a caseworker or a lawyer, to see what could be done. We also have legal resources available, but for confidentiality reasons can only provide them if you call in.

    We would love to talk more about the details of your situation so that we can work towards a solution that you find acceptable. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
    We hope this information was helpful and take care.
    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I really wanna live with my dad because my mom only really likes my sister or thats how i feel and my dad loves both of us but i wanna live with my dad by my self so i wanna try to run away to live with my dad without making my mom feel like she a bad mom even though she treats me bad.

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  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: Hello, my name is Aaron

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you do not want to hurt your mothers feelings but you would like to move in with your dad. We understand that this is a tough decision for to make and an even tougher one to break to your mom. We can’t tell you what to do but we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, my name is Aaron and Ive been living with my mom for 14 years, she hasn’t done nothing wrong to me, she takes care of me and she does the best to keep me happy and that’s why I love her, but I’ve wanted to live with my dad for the past year because I feel like I’ve been with my mom a long time and I want to live with my dad for half and half, and my dad is a good person. My dad told me that if I wanted to live with him I could and my mom once told me if I ever wanted to go live with my dad I can feel free but I don’t think she actually mean it, and I feel like if I do I might break her Heart so what can I do or what should I do?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 12-12-2018, 04:17 AM.

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