Want To Live With Mom, Father Lies to Court to Get Me To Stay With Him

[Guest]

I’ve wanted to live with my mom for years. For 13 years, they had pretty much 50/50 custody of me. When I was 13, I refused to go with my dad for 3 months and my mom went back to court to try to get full custody of me since I wanted to be with her. I got 1 day less per 2 weeks with my dad. Doesn’t feel like much. Now, 2 years later. I am absolutely sick of him and can not handle going over there anymore. Just last week, the last time I saw him, we had a verbal fight which involved him forcibly pushing and shoving me before taking me to school. He told me to get my own ride to school, and began to leave. His girlfriend made matters worse by forcing me to go with him, where the fight continued in the confined space of a car. I didn’t say a word. He was screaming, yelling, calling me names like “**********”, slamming the armrest in the car, and yelling more and more. He says things like “repeat after me: father, I am sorry for being a bad child and I promise to never do that again in the future.” He will get very angry if you repeat it too quietly or don’t say it word for word. Again, I said nothing this time. Eventually, we got to a red light and I got out of the car and ran to the nearest building. I called 911 because I honestly fear for my life when he’s like this, especially when he’s angry and yelling and hitting things, and had shoved me early that day. The police arrived and spoke to both of us. (He had initially driven off for about 15 minutes, abandoning me, but later returned on what I presume was his girlfriend telling him to on a phone call) They spoke to him first, and he puts on his happy face and tells them “oh, my daughter is just lippy and we had a small disagreement. Teenagers, you know?” (That is esentially what the police report said) When coming to me, they would not listen to the facts that he
1. Has gotten quite violent in the past and has caused bruises and other injuries to me
2. He was yelling and yelling more and more; which was scaring me quite a bit
3. He is a diagnosed sociopath and narricist and alcoholic (which the court conveniently ignores, despite trained professional psychiatrics telling them no child should be near him)
4. I was quite afraid he would hurt me physically had I been in the car a minute more, he was so angry.

I don’t want to go with him on his upcoming day, so I plan to run away from him and go to a friends house where he hopefully won’t think to look.
2 years ago, when I did this, I went with my mom. That didn’t go well in the court as they viewed her as being in contempt from not making me go with my dad, though I refused because a similar incident made me never want to go with him again.

He does not believe me when I say I hate him and want to leave. He blames my mom for “brainwashing” me. He also hates her deeply, and has on multiple occasions told me “I only want custody of you to bring pain to your mom.”
He has also told me I am “a huge waste of time” “a major disappointment” “I wish you were never born”, and after a voicemail I left him explaining my hate for him the first time I ran away, “I wish you would kill yourself”

of course, the court ignores what my mom, her attorney, and my therapist say and listen to my dad rampantly lying and saying “we have a great relationship! Those one are crazy, I love my daughter” and the court sucks it up and believes this stuff. They say I’m too naive to really make a choice and that I need both parents in my life.
He and his girlfriend also fight quite a bit and tell each other things like “I hate you! You’re the worst being I’ve ever met! I wish I never met you!” Etc, quite often. Yet, in court, they act like a perfect couple and the judge just sucks it up.
My GAL also does no research to confirm what I’ve told him and just believes my dad. If you haven’t guessed, we have a very sexist court and judge on the case.
CPS is no help either. They’ve said my mom and doctor have coached me to accuse my dad of molestation at a young age. That has only given my dad more leverage in court.

It is all quite detrimental to my mental health and I’ve been getting worse and worse lately. I cannot handle it all, and i feel if I see him one more time, I may make some undoable actions.

I am at a loss for what to do. I just want to get away and I know the court won’t do anything. If anything, they would give him full custody of me for “bothering him with all this bs and making his life difficult” when he doesn’t even want me. He doesn’t even know my birthday, or middle name, or how old I am or what grade I’m in. It hurts so much and if I have to go with him, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep going.

[ccsmod9]

Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know it can be difficult to reach out and seek help at a time that is stressful. Our goal is to help you in any way. We want to provide you with any resource available to you so that you are aware of all your options.
We are sorry to hear that you are experiencing a lot of resistance toward staying with your mother. It seems like you have also tried going to the proper authorities about the situation you are going through and they have ignored you. Some options you might have are to possibly reach out to a school teacher/ school counselor and talk to them about the situation. The more people you get involved in your story the better your odds are of having a better case. Know that there are people who want to help. If you happen to feel unsafe again call the cops again. Though they might not believe you, they by law have to respond to a 911 call. You have the right to feel safe. If it means keeping you away from any dangerous situation you find yourself in. Know that you can find support groups as well that might help take some pressure away from the situation. You could also try joining a club or sport so that on the days you are supposed to go with your dad you have to be elsewhere and the time is very limited to when you spend time with him. Finally you mentioned that if you have to spend more time with him you might take more drastic measures, this sounds like you would take serious life harming actions like suicide. Know that there are people who want you to feel supported and heard. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts know you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) from there someone could help talk with you and help walk alongside you. You are not alone and should never feel as though you are.
Again we want to thank you for reaching out to us. We know that of all the things going on it took a lot to reach out and seek help. If you happen to have more questions or concerns please free to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or use our online chat option at (www.1800runaway.org)
Best Wishes - NRS