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Hey I'm a concerned friend so my friend lives with her mom and step dad but her step dad threatens her puts her in harms way and does and brings drugs like Cocain around her and gets drunk all the time at the house with her treats her bad and never apologizes for the thing he does to her and him and his brother both put there hands on her idk if they hit her but while on video chat I've seen them both grab her up as she screams and cries for them to get off of her idk what to she isn't 16 till April and I don't wanna get cops involved but im worried abt her and wanna protect her is there anyway she can leave them earlier then the age of 18 in the state of Wisconsin I need help bc she is to scared to come out abt it but im worried for her safety and well being
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Hey there and thanks for contacting NRS. We know that it can be especially challenging to see a friend going through a hard time and wanting to help but not knowing where to start, and we commend you for trying to support them.
It definitely sounds like your friend is going through a lot. A good place to start in terms of offering support is to pass along the contact info of us here at NRS. This gives your friend the opportunity to vent, ask questions, develop a plan, and otherwise just have a safe person to talk to. If she's worried about what might happens if she discloses any sort of abuse, you can reassure her that our conversations are anonymous and confidential.
It's also good to know that if she were to disclose any form of abuse to you or you otherwise feel like she is in imminent danger, assuming you know where she lives and other identifiable information, you can file a report with CPS on her behalf.
In regards to her leaving home earlier than 18--there's really no simple answer for this. Yes, if she makes that decision, she can leave home. It's more so a matter of if she wants to avoid any potential issues that might arise in her doing so. For example, if she leaves home with out parental consent and decides to stay with a friend and their family, if her parents file a missing persons or runaway report, she could find herself in trouble, and so could the family that she's staying with. There are so many different factors that come into play, so it's hard to give a simple answer. That said, there are generally two ways to leave home without any potential legal ramifications: with a parent's consent or through CPS, who ultimately *may* make the decision to remove a minor from the home when abuse is present.
If you'd like to talk in more detail about what's going on or pass along our information to your friend, you can reach us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live through our website at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.
Take care.
NRS
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Hi, I am only 16 years old. But am wondering is there a way I can leave my home at 17 1/2? I am currently in a group home that don't really understand me. I am transgender male and they just don't respect me. I want to be on my own. I have someone who is willing to let me live with them. Please let me know if its possible to leave home before I am 18. Thanks, JakeComment
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Hi,
Thanks for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. We are sorry to hear that as a transgender male, you aren't respected and understood at your group home. That must be really hard and stressful and it's understandable that you want to be on your own.
The letter of the law is that you can't leave until you reach the age of majority in your state; that is the simple answer to your question. But we would like to talk with you about your situation and discuss your friend and your options.
You can reach us 24/7 via this website and our live chat or our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929)
We truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS
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Hello, I am a 19 year old, and my best friend is also 19, but my little brother is 17, turning 18 in only a week. All three of us have been enduring some heavy psychological abuse for the last two years, and are looking to escape the home. We live with our mother, grandfather, and our little 11 year old brother, and it's pure torture. We are verbally abused every day and live in squalor, to the point that I am forced to wear shoes 24/7 and have developed athlete's foot as a result. They are constantly calling us worthless, horrible people when all we try to do is help them with our littlest brother, who has a defect that causes him to have seizures and given him profound mental retardation. It's a crazy story, I know, but it's even crazier to live it, and be forced to deal with the same mundane day in, day out, for the last two years under their wing. Not to mention, our mother is insane, believing every conspiracy theory out there, and that the world is coming to an end each week, and putting our lives on hold all the time, forcing us to do meaningless work and being called worthless because we simply don't agree. We've been planning an escape for months, and I only wanted to ask if it's alright for us to take my 17 year old brother across the country to escape them, or if we'll technically be harboring a runaway. Will it even matter, law wise, since our departure is going to take place only a few days before his birthday? If he willingly comes with, are we not kidnapping him?
I want my little brother to have a better life than he currently does, as he is hard of hearing and is bullied worse than even my friend or I by our family, and although they all see the three of us as lesser than them, I am certain he's had it worse because he is a bit eccentric, makes mistakes, and sometimes his hearing can lead to mistakes as well. He also had to drop out of high school, as we moved across the country to get to Wisconsin in the first place, and he doesn't have his diploma or GED. I know it may seem like a very short wait, and we could try to stick it out, but I think the sooner we leave them behind the better.
Thank you for your time, if you do indeed read this! Hopefully things will end up better.Comment
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Hello and thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about your living situation and all the abuse you all have endured. You don't deserve to be treated that way and it's not your fault. You deserve to live in a healthy and safe environment with people who love you unconditionally and treat you with respect.
You are correct that in most states that 18 is the legal age where you may leave home. Since your brother is still 17, your parents or legal guardians do have the right to file a run away report. If they decide to do that and the police find you, they can have your brother taken back home . We are not legal experts, so we are not sure about the laws of harboring a runaway in Wisconsin, however it sounds like you are thinking ahead about everything before making a decision which sounds like a good idea. Your legal guardians may be able to press charges in regards to harboring a runaway, but again we are not legal experts so we can not confirm that. It may be good to keep in mind that it is possible that there would be legal issues that may come up. You might consider doing some research on Wisconsin laws related to harboring runaways. Also in case you would like to report any abuse related to yourself or your younger brothers, www.childhelp.org is a national abuse website. Their number is 1-800-422-4433 and they are available 24/7. We hope this response was helpful to you. If we can be of any more help, please reach out to us anytime. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat live with us at www.1800runaway.org.
Wishing you all the best,
NRS
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I need help, I have been Kicked out by my mom about 3 times, She has hit me in the past, She laughed When she found out her roommate raped me, she makes it feel like my mental health is bad because of her. Today She said some hurtful things like she usually does and I couldn't take it any- more. I told her I was leaving and moving out. but she didn't say anything. I left and walked around Town. She turned off my phone, which I am OK with, and said if I don't come home She'll call the COPS. She is physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive. I need to know if I can leave her house and live with a friend. I have a job. my mom makes me pay for everything anyway.Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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Can a 16/ almost 17 year old move out in the state of Wisconsin?
so, let’s start with my childhood - my childhood wasn’t good by any means, it was years and year of emotional, physical, mentally and sexual abuse. We were also constantly moving around due to my mom getting evicted.
I recently moved in with my grandma and lived there 2–3 months and it ended up being just as bad so I just moved back in with my mom a few days ago. It’s total ******** again, we got kicked out yet another place and have 2 days to leave… she is going to a homeless shelter with 2 other kids. (She has 5 total but 2 of them stay with their dad now.)
I have a plan of how/ when/ where I’m moving already, I’m moving in with my friend who recently Just turned 18 about 2–3 hours away from the town I’m currently in. I have a job lined up right when I get there, I have 2 months of rent saved up already, and it’s only $600 a month. It’s a 3 bedroom, 2 bath apartment and I’ll get 2 bedrooms and a bathroom to myself.
schooling / job - it’s always been difficult to go to school for me, it’s just too stressful but at the same time I physically need the high school education so I’m going to go part time, Tuesday and Thursdays only. Then Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday I’ll have work and on Saturday it’ll be my free day.
I need to get out of here. It isn’t good for my physical or mental health. Im so tempted to bring this to court and have them help me through the moving process, I mean let’s be real… my mom is going to a homeless shelter with 2 other kids who will they favor? Me who actually has a plan or her? The wreck.
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Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing your story with us. It takes a lot of courage to reach out. It seems at though you are going through a difficult and ever-changing situation, yet you have created a good plan for yourself to move forward. Your plan to balance your high school education with working is very admirable, and it is relieving to hear that you have a friend who would like you to live with them. I would advise reading into guardianship and emancipation options in your state before going to court, but it does sound like you are doing all the right things to improve your situation. If you would like to speak with us further about your options and plan, our phone line operates 24/7 and you have the option to either call us at 1800runaway (786-2929) or via live chat straight from your computer or smartphone at 1800runaway.org
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