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I'm 17, female, and want to move out without parental permission

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  • #16
    Hey, so I'm 16 will be 17 of june 2021 and a female. Things at home aren't healthy for me, theres 7 other kids who live in that house with me and I never get any type of attention of affection from my father and step mother, my real mother is no longer in my life. There was a misunderstanding between me and my parents and they took everything from me even things I paid for and the money I made at the job I loved (over $800) and kept it from themselves. I don't get treated like the other kids do, I get stuck doing everything for everyone and constantly put down and not paid enough attention to my mental instability. I hate living at home with my parents and over privileged siblings and I want to move out. But emancipation is a no and so is their permission to move out. I live in Michigan. None of the qualifications for emancipation are checked in my case, but I was told by someone who's good friends with a cop that as soon as we turn 17 we were able to move out of our parents house. I just need out, I have plans for a job already set up and I'll be able to stay with a friend until I have enough money to support myself for rent. I need to know if I am able to move out at 17 without getting a runaway report filed.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and we are so glad that you decided to reach out to us.
      It seems like you are going through a difficult time, it is frustrating not to get attention and not to feel loved at home. One option to consider would be to talk to your parents about how you feel and see if there is anything to resolve the misunderstanding. Also sometimes talking with a school counselor may help as sometimes they can give you resources or talk about your options.
      We are not legal experts but in Michigan the age of majority is 18 years old. What that means is if you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. It is a possibility the police could bring you back home. In some cases, they may not take a runaway report on a 17 year old. To find out the best answer it is recommended that you call your local police department and ask them the rules. You can also call or chat with us online and we can call them for you.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • #17
    Hi I'm 17 and I want to leave my house where I stay with my grandma I'm almost 18 in 4 months and I want to move in with my friend we all will have jobs and I'll still be going to school witch im almost done ..

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #18
    I’m 17 and live in Missouri I want to move out because my mother is a drug addict and is emotional and mentally abusive, sometimes psychically abusive. I have tried to move out before but she kept trying to hit me and yelling at me and wouldn’t let me leave. I love her and she makes me feel like I’m disappointing her by moving out but I can’t take it anymore. If I move out she will involve the cops and harass me but I need to I have safe places I can go. If I move out is there anything she or the cops can do? I want to move out but I’m so so scared and I’m not sure how to properly cope. I just need to know that if I leave the cops won’t drag me back to her house please.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern which it sounds like is the case. You don't deserve to be harmed in any way Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #19
    I’m 16, and planning I’m moving out when I’m 17 in May. I was wondering what would be the best way regarding New York State laws I want to move down to Florida with with my boyfriend but my mom does not approve unless I get the marriage emancipation. But I was wondering if there is some other way for me to be emancipated without marriage?

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for taking the time to contact us here at NRS. While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally about the laws regarding a young person leaving home. 18 is usually the age you are able to leave home without permission from a parent. Until then your mom could report you as a runaway to the police and have you returned home. The easiest way to leave as a minor is if your mom gives you permission. You mentioned that your mom would only do this if you were to be emancipated. Perhaps she is concerned about potential legal consequences if you are living somewhere else since she would still be legally responsible for you. She could call the local non-emergency police to ask questions about potential consequences or have some of her questions answered.

      You also mentioned wanting to know more about emancipation in New York. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not. Unfortunately New York is a state that does not have a formal statute but might consider emancipation in certain circumstances. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents.  Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court.  We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process. Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk. We are available 2/4/7 by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800ruaway.org.

  • #20
    I'm 17 female in California and I wanna move out with my boyfriend (17 aswell) I've asked his mother and she is more than willing to take me in/ take care of me ,there moving in a couple months and I want to go with them but my mother ( my father doesn't have custody of me )my mother won't let me leave with them and wants me to come back and keep me till the day I'm 18
    I'm currently living with him and moved out because they failed as parents (my dad's abusive and my ma is a drunk)I have managed to talk things out and at least get my moms permission to stay until she's done with paperwork stuff and doesn't need my father anymore and can kick him back out ,they were separated but he begged to come back because he was homeless
    it's a 2hour drive away in Nevada my ma says I can spend every other week there but with school coming back in person in may that's not possible (I'm pretty sure she knows that) I really don't wanna continue to live in a trailer with my mom and sibling and possibly my terrible father ,I'd much rather live in real house with stable adults
    Me and my boyfriend are very committed to seeing each other as much as possible, he's trying to get a full driver's license in time just to see me
    I understand I can wait 10 months till I'm 18 but like I said I really don't wanna live 2hours away from him in a trailer

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      First of all, thank you so much for reaching out to NRS today. We know it can be really difficult to do and it takes a lot of courage. We are so sorry to hear that your parents were not conducive to a supportive and loving home growing up. That must have been really hard for you. It is understandable not to want to live in a trailer, especially possibly with your father. We are happy to hear you have the support of your boyfriend and his family in this hard time.

      In terms of leaving home before the age of 18, it is not illegal. However, your mom may decide to file a runaway report with the police if you do choose to leave. In that case, there is a chance that the police will come looking for you and bring you back home. It does sound like your mom will not decide to file that kind of report at least right now. If you do decide to live with your boyfriend and the police do find you as a runaway, there is a chance that his family will be charged with harboring a runaway depending on the state you are in. One way to find out more about the police’s policy on runaway reports in your area is to call the local policy station’s non-emergency line and ask more about it.

      Another option for discussing the situation with your mom is to use our conference calling service. If you decide to use this service, you can call into our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) and explain your situation to the liner. They will then help you set guidelines and mediate a conference call with your mom for a hopefully productive conversation! Using this option is completely up to you.
      Lastly, you can reach out to us through live chat at 1800runaway.org or by calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929). If you want to reach out and just talk through the situation and hear about more resources we may be able to offer you, we are happy to be here to support you through that.

      Best of luck and stay strong,
      NRS

  • #21
    My friend is a 16 year old Female from Michigan. Her birthday is monday and she’s turning 17, she wants to move out because her parents verbally and sometimes physically abuse her. She tried to leave but they called the police and brought her back home. She wants to move out and get emancipated but it’s a long process so is there a better option? my mom said she is welcome to stay with us but she doesn’t want in any legal trouble. She is also planning on leaving her house on her birthday.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to us and explaining a bit about what's going on with your friend. We're sorry to hear that she's having problems at home and being abused. That's sounds pretty serious. Of course, if she wants to make an abuse report that is totally her right. Filing a report doesn't automatically remove a youth from the home, but it could start a process that eventually leads to that. In general, physical abuse is understood as more serious than verbal abuse in the eyes of CPS. If she wants to report abuse she can do that through us or through www.childhelp.org (1-800-422-4453).

      You ask a great questions about what her options are. In Michigan and the rest of the US, a youth that leads home without permission before turning 18 could have a runaway report filed against them by their parent or guardian. Anyone they stay with could be accused of harboring a runaway, which is usually a crime.

      However, perhaps there are other options as you mention. If she would like to explore what the process for emancipation in Michigan is she can do that by calling Wayne County Legal Services at 1-800-968-0738. There are other legal aid resources we can connect her with if you or her contact us by phone or chat.

      Besides emancipation she may want to consider asking her parent's permission to live elsewhere, perhaps explaining how this would be a good thing for the family. That might seem like a daunting prospect, but it is a possibility.

      We'd like to assist further but would need more information to see how we can help. The best way for us to do that is by calling our confidential 24 hour hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. Please share our number with your friend. We welcome either of your calls at any time.

      All the best,
      NRS

  • #22
    I’m 16 turning 17 on 3 mounts I have a physical and verbally abuse at my fathers is there away I could move out if my mom gave me permission to live on my own I can take car of my self. I’m getting a job and I’m getting a car my boyfriend is helping me with both is there a way I can move out without emancipation if I just have my moms consent I live In Arizona

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for contacting NRS,
      We are sorry that you are going through physical and verbal abuse. It seems as though that is not a good place to be in. It seems as though your mom is trying to help by letting you leave home early. Some things to keep in mind are that if your mom is letting you but has no custody of you or has less custody that can be something that fall into play with something like this. It might be a good idea to seek out a lawyer who can speak both with you and mom about what you can and cannot do. We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • #23
    hi im 16 turning 17 in two more months i live in phillly i live with my grandmom i wanna run away because shes treating me like a child getting abused builyied she doesnt let me go no where i have to stay in the house my parents does not want me i feel like things are so unfare and i want to be by my self

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,

      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.

      We know you mentioned getting abused and bullied, and you do not deserve that. You do have the right to file an abuse report if you would like and there are a few ways to go about doing that. One option would be to call Child Help: 1800-422-4453, and they would be able to help you with a report. You can also talk with a school counselor or a teacher and because they are mandated reporters they can file a report for you. Lastly, you would be able to call or chat with us and we can help you with filing a report.

      We are not legal experts but if you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. If you were to mention the abuse it is possible they may investigate.

      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are available 24/7 to listen and provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • #24
    Hi, I am a 16 year old girl. I will be turning 17 in about 6 months and I want to quit my toxic job but my aunt won’t let me quit. She puts the job before me and everything. The thing about my job is that the boss is very toxic for many reasons and I’ve been looking into emancipation for a couple days and I know I have what it takes to take care of myself because I already do it. But I feel like I don’t have a good enough case. Also I live In Alabama, so I don’t know if I can move out before then or what! I just need to go and I know that’s what’s best for me right now because she doesn’t care or understand how I feel and I’m tired of it. What should I do??

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out, we understand it can be hard to take that step. It sounds like you are interested in emancipation, here’s some information just to help review the general process of emancipation. We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents or guardians. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court, although there may be exceptions. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court.
      We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process. Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck. If you feel unsafe at any point please don’t hesitate to reach out to emergency services such as 911.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • #25
    I want to move out of my aunt house because she’s mentally abusive and I’m beyond unhappy here. Since I’m 17 turning 18 in November. Is there anyway I can move out without her pressing charges?

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us, we hope to help as best we can! It sounds like things have not been going too well with your aunt, we’re sorry your dealing with an abusive situation at home. You mentioned wanting to leave her home, if you were to leave before or after turning 18 the possibility for consequences are different.

      18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case (sometimes they take the report but do not search for youth other times they actively search for the youth). Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. Although its not common these charges may occur, its still a possibility we want youth to keep in mind. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. If you need help making that call, feel free to call us and we can help with that.

      If you were to leave after turning 18, as a legal adult you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your guardian for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

      If you wanted to express more details or talk directly to us we do have the option to call or chat 24/7. We hope to hear from you soon.


      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • #26
    Hello I’m 17 and live in Des Moines, Ia. I want to move out of my house without my parent’s consent. I have just recently turned 17 a few months ago and my house is full of constant negativity and fighting. Although I want to move out I don’t have a really good reason other then I want to try and live with my girlfriend. If I was to do so I would have a good steady job and a very nice live. I just want to make sure it is legal for me to do so. Please help!

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #27
    Hi I am a real 17 yr old female

    I really want to move out because my Dad is verbally abusive and I don’t feel loved and I feel sheltered. I really just want to start making choices for myself. I have a job and I make $13 an hour. My friend has already offered me a spot in her house to live and I think that’s my best ticket out of here. I came home today from school and my parents had a talk with me that they were going to kick me out when I turned 18. I have no problems with this because I’ve wanted out for a while now. They used it as a threat but all it gave me was more motivation to leave. Please help me with answers of any way I could leave now without the Police getting called because I’m a “runaway.”

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out, we hope to help as best we can. We’re sorry you’ve had to deal with abuse in the home, you deserve to feel accepted and safe in the place you call home. In regards to eing reported as a runaway, if you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. A lot of the time if you are close to turning 18 police may not actively try to go out and look for you, but this can vary from one station to another.
      If you were to leave once you were 18 are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
      Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      Be safe,

      NRS
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