help me out; i need to leave an emotionally abusive home

[Guest]

i'm 15 with depression and i desperately need to leave an emotionally abusive home- my mom is guilt tripping, manipulative, makes me depressed/scared, makes me feel like i'm insane, and much, much more (she's gone as far as shutting down the wifi, essentially cutting me off from the rest of the world; i told her this, but she didn't care. she told me to "fix my attitude")

all family members are basically useless, the legal system is also useless (i've already called CPS and they just handed off my case to the local office), and i have no money and i can't drive.

ideally i want to move out and live on my own or with a friend in new york (then there's the problem with money again...), but i'll settle for moving in with my dad. the problem is that my mom doesn't want me to leave; all she ever says is that she loves me (a manipulation tactic) and that she's "trying to do what's best for me."

i could get emancipated, but it's unclear how that would happen- besides, i read it cost money and that parents have to consent to it (i have no money, my mom would say no, and i'm not sure if working papers are an option)

i've also considered running away, but it comes with plenty of risks and- again, the money problem.

PLEASE help me out

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

We are glad you are reaching out to us in your time of need because we are here to help. It sounds like you have with living in a really tough situation at home with your mom and your surrounding resources have not improved the situation. It seems that there is mixed messages happening in how your mom shows her “care” for you. You may want to consider counseling as a an options if you are interested is seeing an improvement in your relationship, but you have recognizably tried a lot of different resources.
It can be difficult to know how to talk to your parents and express your feelings about how you are feeling. We would encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative, and friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation. At NRS, we do offer a service call conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, help you express the needs of to your parents.
We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians/or police can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring. One of our main goals is to make sure you are safe, so if you ever seriously decide to run away and need shelter, resources, or a safe place to go you can find safe locations at nationalsafeplace.org, homelessshelterdirectory.org, transitionalhousing.org, agrm.org, or reach out to us directly and we can find local resources in your area.
Another thing that you can do is look into emancipation, where you can have the right of an adult. We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process.
We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.
-NRS