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Are you considered a runaway if you are initially kicked out but asked to come back?

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  • #16
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #17
      My sister in law that is 15 years old is in an abusive relationship with her mom. Me , my brother dating her and my mom recently found out about what had been happening to her and we are trying to figure out how to help. the mom has hit/beat her and has told her very awful things and has even told her plenty of times to get out of their house, the daughter is scared to leave because she doesn't know what will happen to her if she goes back home, this has been happening for a long time she says and there is proof of her saying things to help and has marks of when the mom has hit her. the mom had one time told the dad and her to leave the house and they were but then the mom just threw herself on the ground and was begging them not to leave. The mom is a liar . we just want to know what crimes would be made in this situation, or will my parents be arrested for "harboring a runaway"? even if we aren't encouraging her to run away or hiding her? or will she have to go back one home once the police gets involved?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear your sister-in-law is in an abusive relationship with her mom. That sounds pretty rough. Of course, she never deserves to be abused in any way and if she wanted to file an abuse report about what's going on she could always do that, either through local law enforcement or through www.childhelp.org (1-800-422-4453).

        The term "harboring a runaway" usually refers to when a person houses a youth under 18 who has run away from home and who has a runaway report already filed on them. It normally doesn't include very basic assistance like giving them food or just talking to them. So if the runaway is not actually housed by your parents, this doesn't seem like it would be considered harboring a runaway.

        We are concerned about your sister-in-law's situation, however. If we can be of any assistance to her or to you we are willing to help. The best way we can do that would be for you to contact our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.

        All the best,
        NRS

    • #18
      I’m in New Jersey and I’m 16, my mom kicked me out yesterday but I didn’t leave I just walked to my room… she never said I could stay just started yelling at me to go to school this morning. If I leave it’s not a crime even if I “run away” in New Jersey but would the police still look for me?

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on—it sounds like things at home have been tough. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case.

        Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

        If you would like to talk more in detail, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    • #19
      I’m in a generally confusing situation right now. I ran away 5 days ago, I’m on 3 days no food, 6 hours no water. My father signed away his rights and my mom told me to run away if I wanted. I’m trying everything for housing but my last option may be a few months from now. My mother would start fights all the time, she was either at work or sleeping with random men and coming home the next day. I also have a 9 year old sister. We live with my grandparents right now so idk if she could get in trouble for that or not. Any advice? (I’m 16)

      Comment


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like your mom "allowed" you to run away, and you did, but are not in a safe place and haven't had your basic needs met for a long time. You don't deserve to have been treated this way, and we hope that you can at least get to a friend for temporary help, like food and water.

        It sounds like housing won't be available for a few months and that you are asking us for advice. We would be more than happy to listen and help on our live chat or hotline. This public forum isn't a good way to really listen and help you figure this out; we work best when we can have a conversation with you.
        You can chat us through this website, or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) so we can talk this over and help you figure out what options you may have. We truly hope to hear from you soon.
        Sincerely,
        NRS

    • #20
      so earlier today i gave my sister a shower and i guess it started leaking and my parents started to tell and curse at me calling me names and told me to get out of their house so i left and went to my friends house and now they are calling me asking to come home i am 17 and live in new york.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #21
      I am 12 years old and my mom kicked me out of the house and then came looking for me. I went back home and from then on she keeps denying that she kicked me out even though we both know she did. My dad says I am very mature for my age and I don’t lie to get myself out of trouble. She has started smoking weed and stuff like that all of a sudden and I don’t know why. Several times she has threatened to kick me out again. I know what I would do if I was kicked out and I know I would be safe. I don’t know what to do. Do I call the Police? Do I call CPS?

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello, Thank you for reaching out to NRS. What you are going through sounds really difficult. We understand that it takes courage to reach out, and we are here to support you through this difficult time. Calling the police or CPS can be an option if you feel that you are not in a safe place. If you want to contact us or use our chat line, we can discuss more and give you more specific advice. We are available 24/7 and are here to help. Another possible option is to reach out to another adult you trust and feel comfortable talking about this situation. Our website is http://www.1800runaway.org, and our number is 1-800-786-2929, and again we are here 24/7.

    • #22
      I am 17 very close to turning 18 I’ll be 18 in about 3 months. My mom has kicked me out about 3 times and every time I leave to get away from her she’s calling me the next morning saying “be ready your going with your grandparents” the live in Arizona and I’m from New Mexico but is never about it. I don’t know what to do I just wanna get out of that toxic house hold. Could I move out if I’m close to being 18?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        Thanks for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things have been so hectic at home. It sounds like you feel ready to move out and be independent, but you have questions about whether you'd be able to do so legally. We are not legal experts, but we will do our best to share information that may help you figure out your next steps.

        From what we understand, if you are considered a minor in your state, you need the consent of your parent or legal guardian to live outside of their home. If you leave without consent, they can report you as a runaway to your local police department. Your local police department decides whether or not to look for you, but if they locate you, they would return you to your parent or legal guardian. One option you have is to reach out to your local police at their non-emergency number to find out until what age they will accept a runaway report and, whether they would take the report for someone so close to the age of 18. Another option you might want to look into is whether you are legally allowed to sign a lease for an apartment if you are under the age of 18. If you are not legally able to sign a lease, you may need to explore if there are friends or family that might be able to take you in until you are legally able to sign a lease and live independently. If you would like to discuss your options further, or just want someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out to us by phone or chat.

        Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you explore your options as you decide your next steps. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

        -NRS

    • #23
      So im 16 I live in indiana last night my mom kicked me out of her house and then called and proceeded to tell me if I didn't come home that she is gonna call the cops and make them come pick me up. My mom is a narcissistic psycho who only cares about herself and what others think of her she hasn't tried to be a real parent my entire life I've been trying to find away to get away from her for a couple years now. Its a very toxic household environment that had caused me to become very depressed and I can't do it anymore I jave to get out of there but idk what to do. I jave a job and places I can stay I just need to find away to legally get away from her. I need help. I don't have a dad hes been in prison my whole life its just my mom.

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like it is a tough time for you right now and you are doing the best to survive. Typically, individuals can leave home without their parents/guardians permission at the age of 18. Therefore, your mom is currently responsible for you. It is possible that she could be charged with neglect for kicking you out. However, if your mom was to file a runaway report, the police may think you ran away on your own and you may be returned home.

        One option could be to talk to your mom about letting you stay with a trusted adult. With her permission it would be legal for you to stay with another adult. If your mom does not agree to do so, another option could be talking to someone at school about what's going on at home. They may be able to help you navigate discussions with your mom about how she is treating you. Another option could be to talk to the police or another adult about your mom kicking you out so they understand the toxic environment that you live in. Your mom is legally responsible for you until you are 18 so she should not be kicking you out. You deserve to be loved and respected by your family, if you ever want to talk more in detail about the options please call 1-800-RUNAWAY or contact us through the chat feature on our website https://www.1800runaway.org.

        Good luck!

    • #24
      Hi im 16 and i just got kicked out of my house. i called the cops to let them know what happend but i dont want them to take me back home ot an emotionally abusive mom. she might report me as a runaway because i dont want to come back home after she just kicked me out. can i legally stay at a friends house if my mom kicked me out without my friends parents getting in trouble

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,

        Thanks for writing to us. We’re so sorry to hear that this has happened to you. If you feel you are in immediate danger, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.

        In terms of your concern, there is a possibility that your friend’s parents could be charged with harboring a minor if you are staying there without your mom’s permission and she decides to press charges against them, but again it is just a possibility. The best way to prevent this would be to get written permission from your mom (an email, text, note, etc) stating that you can stay with them since you were kicked out. That way if she decides to press charges, you have proof that she kicked you out and you are allowed to stay there.

        There also may be some youth shelters in your area that can help you and your situation. You can feel free to look at them on your own or talk to us here at the NRS if you are interested in finding some.

        If you would like to speak to a live person about your situation and get more personalized help, the NRS is here 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-880-9860). Thank you again for reaching out and we wish you the best of luck with everything!

        NRS

    • #25
      Im 16 in Minnesota, I ran away from home about 6 months ago. My mother agreed to drop the runaway report on me if I agreed to go live with my aunt. My mom still has full legal custody. My aunt has kicked me out of her house changed the locks and kept all of my stuff. Can my mom call me in as a runaway if I was kicked out of my aunts house??

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We really appreciate you reaching out. It sounds like the situation you are in right now is super complicated and difficult.

        It is important to note that we are not legal experts. That being said, if your mom wants you to return home, then she can file a runaway report. If you are not allowed to live with your mom or aunt, then you could file an abuse report for neglect. Your mom is your legal guardian, so she is required to take care of you. It sounds like this option of returning home might not be what you want. Your situation sounds super difficult, so if you feel comfortable, you can call or chat with us to discuss more options. We are here to support you 24/7. You can contact NRS either by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chatting online through 1800runaway.org.

        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #26
      Hey I am 15 and my parents have kicked me out. Can I get in any legal trouble for leaving?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,
        Thanks for reaching out, it seems like a confusing situation at home. You don’t deserve to feel like you are being kicked out of your home like this and are unwelcome there in some way. Home should be a safe and supportive place for you to grow, not a conflict zone.
        Generally it is neglect on the part of your parents to physically remove you from the home and not allow you to re-enter. If they are simply verbally kicking you out, or saying “there’s the door” that usually does not do enough to prove neglect. Usually they need to physically remove, or prevent you from being safe in some way.
        So if you leave police might take your side, however your parents would be able to report you as a runaway if you do leave. Even if you have permission initially they can argue that they changed their minds. Being a Runaway is a status offence, so usually there are nearly no legal consequences long term other than police returning you back home.
        If you have more questions or need a safe place to stay, please reach back out by chat at www.1800runaway.org or call us directly at 1-800-786-2929.

    • #27
      I’m 16, from Wisconsin I live in a really toxic household and after a huge fight with my mother, who pushed me repeatedly in an attempt to put me in my room. She accused me of shoving my 7yo. Sister by the head when my 2 younger brothers were there and said I didn’t do that. After I tried speaking to my mom after have had left me in the house alone. It blew up onto another fight and my step dad has pushed me out of the house with the door as I was standing in the door way and said “get the ******** out.” I was texting my sister and she said they were gonna call the police around 12:00am-1:00am and possibly say I’m a runway. I’m staying at a friends as of now. What do I do?
      I'm 17 in Georgia. My parents initially kicked me out but are now sending confusing texts alternating from saying I should come back to saying I need to find a

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are sorry to hear about the way your mother and stepdad have treated you. You do not deserve to have him tell you to leave or especially push you out of the house. You have quite a few options, one being you could wait for the police to show up and tell them what your stepdad did, you could return home before the police show up, you could call your mom or sister and have someone pick you up. We empower you to make a decision that best ensures your safety and what you are comfortable with.

        If you would like to talk further about the situation, we welcome you to reach out to us via chat, found on our website at www.1800runaway.org or give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We would be happy to provide one on one support for you.

        Wishing you health, safety, and peace.

        Warmly,
        NRS

    • #28
      I’m 16 will be 17 in less than a month i lived in sc. my dad kicked me out but then reported me to the police as a run away. he was verbally abusive when i lived with him. i contacted the police the day after i got kicked out and told them. nothing happened. i was wondering what do i do. i have a safe place to stay food clothes access to all the essentials. but the police are looking for me.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi. Thank you for reaching out to NRS, we know that it takes a lot of bravery to do that. At NRS, we are here for you, to talk through and come up with resources to help you in your situation. Technically, a runaway is someone, usually a minor, who has left their house without parental consent. Parents can file a runaway report for which the police are involved and if found you will be returned back home to your parent. It can be very difficult reporting to the cops about what is going on in the home and still not having anything change. You deserve only love and support from your family and those in your life. If you call or give us a chat, we can give you some resources on how to best navigate this situation such as alerting school staff about what is going on and allowing us to do a mediated call between you and your father if you think that is best. We can also discuss possible shelter options in the area, and though your parent will have to give consent it can still be an option we can talk through. We are here to support you and talk through options. We recognize that this must be very challenging but wish you nothing but the best. You are welcome to chat us through this website, or call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY). We are rooting for you.

    • #29
      if i get kicked out of the house by my dad can he call the police on my boyfriends mom claiming it was kidnapping i am 17 by the way and my household isnt the healthiest its very toxic and its not the first time my dad has threatened to kick me out not only that but he has a record for alcohol abuse duis domestic violence destruction of property and at some point my mom filed a restraining order against him but she ended up letting him live with us the entire time the restraining order was in place.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, we're thankful you reached out. It sounds like you've been in a stressful situation for a pretty prolonged period of time. It sounds like you've been staying at your boyfriend's house because it feels safer-- both physically and emotionally. If your dad were to threaten to contact police that it was a kidnapping, you could contact your local law enforcement through their non-emergency and let them know that you are there voluntarily and are free to go if you wish.

        Theoretically if your dad were to file a runaway report, police could potential try to return you home because they would have the legal right to, but if you are 17 and explain the abuse at home it is unlikely you would be forcibly returned there.

        Please contact us again any time if you want to talk through anything more thoroughly. You can live chat with one of our team at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here to listen nonjudgmentally and help as best we can.
        Last edited by ccsmod10; 08-15-2022, 11:26 PM.
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