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  • Running away in missouri

    So im 14 and all my life my parents have been abusive (rarely physically if you can even consider spanking with a belt abuse) but just mentally and emotionally. Theyve always tried to find some way to steal my money, to steal anything else from me, my mom would take things and put them in my room while im asleep and "wake" me up (i was already awake when she put it there) right after putting it there, and accuse me of tsking it and punishing me. Or shell take gift cards for amazon that i got for christmas, SAY she will give me money for them, then use them to order stuff in MY name on an account with my name, then take what she bought, and i never see the money. She even gave me an xbox 360, xbox one s, ps2, two 3ds's, a ds lite, a tablet, a pc, and a gamecube. Not for me to have, but to take away to make me more depressed. then itold my friend abiut it all, and he told the school councelor that he thiught i may be suicidal. So of course they call my mom, and boy did she yell and argue thst day. OH WAIT, she does that all day every day anyway. Always. Anyway, i want to run away, just get out of here. Ive told my parents (when mom said the police coukd arrest me for "stealing" "her" gift cards) to call them cos i wanted out of here anyway. Then she says theyre just gonna say "well too damn bad theyre your parents they can do whatever they want to youre the child deal with it" as if shes done nothing wrong. Then i said id just leave then, so my dad says that if the police catch me as a runaway, ill go into dhs custody. So 1, would they really put me in dhs custody, 2, what all happens in dhs, how long does it take, and 3, where would i go after dhs? Cos if possible id rather go into fostercare than adoption. I dont wanna be adopted by someone if theyre gonna be just as bad as my parents. Also, my parents have caused me to have bad depression and anxiety, and they dont even seem to care at all. What should i do? Also im in missouri if that matters to this. Thanks

  • #2
    Hey there,
    Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you are going through a tough time at home. We are here to help you in any way we can.
    You asked a few questions about what would happen if you ran away. We are not legal experts, but from our understanding, running away is not illegal. It is considered a status offense, which means it’s something that you can’t do because of your age. It looks like in the state of Missouri, you are considered a minor until you are 21. You can find out more legal information about your state via this website: https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/. From our understanding, as a first time runaway, the police just aim to return you home. If police find you, they will most likely take you in to the police station to talk to you about your situation and then take you back to your parents. Sometimes they will also involve DFS by requesting a home visit. If this happens, a social worker may come in to see what the family dynamic in the house is. We unfortunately cannot say for sure what would happen, as this varies case by case. You could call your local non-emergency police department to see how they handle runaway cases in your county. If you do not feel comfortable making this call yourself, you could give us a call here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and we are happy to make the call on your behalf.
    You said you have been experiencing depression and anxiety. Sometimes it is helpful to even talk through your feelings out loud with a trusted friend, teacher, or relative. If you are looking for further counseling resources, your school counselor may be able to help facilitate professional mental health counseling. We also may be able to provide some resources if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) that are specific to your city.
    We are a 24/7, completely confidential helpline, so if you would like to talk through your options further, feel free to call us at anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We’re here to listen, here to help.
    Best of luck,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey, i am a 13 year old teen and kinda want to run away but not sure. I am scared and nervous because it would break my parents. I struggle with depression and anxiety. I always get into fights and arguements with me parents. I feel like they care but i dont like it. My dad screams at me and has a problem with bi people. Which i hate. I don't want to have to always argue. Sometimes my dad will take away things that make me happy. I have depression and love my cat. He takes the cat away from me. He can be a jerk. I just feel he hates me but doesn't show it and doesn't really like me. I also hate my cousins and just wanna get away from my family except my mom she is nice and loves me. But sometimes she screams and i think she cares more about my grades than my mental health. i just wanna run away. I tried to twice. One time, I was running away with my backpack and my parents pulled into the driveway and caught me. I just am tired of it and want to live freely. I live in fenton missori. I just dont like missouri

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        It sounds like you’re dealing with a very difficult home situation with your parents, especially your dad. It also sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of different issues but it’s great that you reached out because we can connect you to some resources that can help.

        First, you mentioned depression and anxiety. If you’re not currently getting mental health resources, it can be really helpful to get treatment. As your mental health suffers, you have -limited ability to handle the other stressors in your life. You can contact SAMHSA to connect you to mental health resources at 1-877-726-4727 or samhsa.gov. You may also want to talk to your school because they should have a counselor for you.
        You mentioned your dad has issues with bi people. It wasn’t clear if you were talking about yourself or a friend, but being bi (or any other sexuality or gender minority) can present special challenges and you may want to consider contacting the LGBT National Youth Talkline at 1-800-246-7743 for someone to talk to about those specific issues.

        It can be very challenging to live on your own at 13. You are too young to work in Missouri, so making money so you can eat can be dangerous. There are other options you may want to consider. For instance, you could try to live with a relative or friend of the family. It’s best if you can get your parents’ permission. If that’s not an option, you can call us or start a chat and we can take advantage of other services to help you cope with your situation.

        One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your dad why having access to your cat is helpful to you. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

    • #4
      Im a 14 year old girl, and i want to get away from my house for a while. I have depression and suidial thoughts. My parents found out, and i just need some space. My best friend offered to let me stay at her house for a while, and i texted my mom kinda telling her i need space and 'asking' if i can go. tbh it doesnt matter to me if she says no or yes, im going anyway. Im just afiad my parents will freak out. what do i do

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are really aware of your needs and space is something that you are requesting. Its great you have to friends to support you through this and have offered for you to stay there for a bit.

        It can be difficult to know how to talk to your parents and express your feelings about how you are feeling. We would encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative, and friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation. At NRS, we do offer a service call conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, help you express the needs you have to your parents. Your mental health is important. You can also look at SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at samhsa.gov (call them directly at 1-877-726-4727) or NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness 1-800-950-NAMI to help you find the support that you need. If you do ever feel in direct danger, to yourself, or some else makes you feel that way, please call out to 911 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255).

        We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians/or police can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring.

        We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

        -NRS

    • #5
      I'm 13 and my dad currently has primary custody of me. It's been this way since I was 9 and since then my mental health has continued to decline, especially lately. My grades have slipped majorly and I've been having homicidal thoughts and the only time I'm really happy is when I got to my mom's house every other weekend (even though it has to be supervised by my grandparents). My mom and dad have been fighting for custody on and off but the situation has never changed. I've read some text messages and heard that my dad and stepmom have been telling their lawyers, my counselor, and even my GAL things about my mom that they can't prove and I know for a fact aren't true. And it looks like there's no chance of the situation changing in the foreseeable future so I want to know what would happen if I ran away to my mom's. I know I would eventually get caught and I'm okay with that. In a post above it says that running away would be a status offense. I have a dream of going to college and becoming a forensic scientist would that affect my chances at all? And would my mom get in trouble?

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. This is a lot to deal with, and these thoughts sound scary to be having. Your health is the most important thing, and I hope that you have spaces that feel safe. There are many resources that you can reach out to. The National Alliance on Mental Illness is a good resource for education as well as counseling specifically for mental health issues. There is also the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration that helps as a counseling service as well. They can be reached at 1-877-726-4727. We are also here for you 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through messaging if you would like someone to talk to. There are people who care for you, and you are not alone.
        As for running away to your mom’s home, only you can -make that decision for what is best for you. We are not legal experts here at NRS, and laws regarding runaways change state to state, so it’s hard to determine exactly what would happen. While running away is a status offense in some states, in others it is not. If you search online “[your state] runaway laws” our website should show up and you’ll be able to find what applies for you. Also, even if running away is considered a status offense it does not go on your permanent record so it would not affect your chances of getting into school. Your mother could also possibly be charged with harboring a runaway. This generally occurs if your mother is actively trying to hide you from your father or other guardians. However, this does change from case to case.
        If you have any other questions, please reach out to us either on the forum or at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are available 24/7.
        Best of Luck,
        NRS

    • #6
      I’m a ** year old girl and sometimes I feel as if my mom is verbally abusive. she isn’t mean she just yells at me like all the time. I would go and live with my dad but he’s an alcoholic and gets mad fast and isn’t financially stable. my boyfriend offered me to stay at his house because I told him I thought about running away and i was having suicidal thoughts all the time. what do I do?
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 06-01-2019, 01:54 AM.

      Comment


      • #7
        Originally posted by Guest View Post
        Hey, i am a 13 year old teen and kinda want to run away but not sure. I am scared and nervous because it would break my parents. I struggle with depression and anxiety. I always get into fights and arguements with me parents. I feel like they care but i dont like it. My dad screams at me and has a problem with bi people. Which i hate. I don't want to have to always argue. Sometimes my dad will take away things that make me happy. I have depression and love my cat. He takes the cat away from me. He can be a jerk. I just feel he hates me but doesn't show it and doesn't really like me. I also hate my cousins and just wanna get away from my family except my mom she is nice and loves me. But sometimes she screams and i think she cares more about my grades than my mental health. i just wanna run away. I tried to twice. One time, I was running away with my backpack and my parents pulled into the driveway and caught me. I just am tired of it and want to live freely. I live in fenton missori. I just dont like missouri
        I live in missouri too macey we can get to get together and talk about our problems
        Last edited by ccsmod11; 06-30-2019, 04:10 PM. Reason: took out city

        Comment


        • ccsmod11
          ccsmod11 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services. Thanks, NRS

      • #8
        My friend is 14 and has recently cut himself and texted me telling me he's running away. . . I am worried for his safety both at his home and on the streets. . .I don't know what to do. . .

        Comment


        • ccsmod11
          ccsmod11 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are being a good friend – there for your friend and worried about him. It shows you care which is something everyone can benefit from (someone who cares about them), but especially your friend.

          One resource about cutting to check out and see if it’s helpful at all would be Self-Injury Outreach and Support. Their website is http://sioutreach.org/.

          We are here as support to help through this challenging time for both you and your friend. Please let you friend know he can call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us (www.1800RUNAWAY.org) as we can best help by phone or chat. You, too, are welcome to call and/or chat with us.

          If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon. Best, NRS
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