I'm 17 and I hate my home.

[Unregistered]

I'm 17 years old, but I'm treated like I'm 12. I should be able to stay out till midnight or be able to have a guy sleep over or be able to make my own life choices. I HATE being at home. I will do just about anything to be away. I have a boyfriend named Joey and I love him more than I can say, but I can't start my life with him because he's 23. For god sake, I can't even introduce him to my parents. I know there is a gap in age, but he's not using me for sex and he really truly cares about me. I want to be able to sleep over at his house and begin starting a life with him. I don't want kids yet, but I want to start building a world with him. Also, I hate that I can't talk to my mom about anything. I just recently had a pregnancy scare and it wasn't even the pregnancy itself that scared me, it was having to tell my mom if I was. And that is truly sad that I would much rather run away and be in pain for nine months and have a child and throw away my future than be able to talk to my mom about it.

Basically my question is, including the age difference, would I be able to move in with my boyfriend without my parents consent.
I live in Michigan.
Thank you.

[ccsmod1]

RE: I'm 17 and I hate my home

Hello,
Thanks for reaching out to us during this difficult time. It sounds like you have a lot going on and are thinking about your future. It sounds like you care a lot about your partner but communication breaks down when it comes to introducing him to your Mom. We are definitely not here to judge or tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. If you are looking for some options on getting birth control, or finding out what your options are regarding the age gap, check out these websites. http://www.sexetc.org/ and http://www.plannedparenthood.org/.
Since we are not legal experts, we cannot tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. We do know that in most states if you leave home without your legal guardians permission, they do have the right to report missing. They also have the right to press charges against anyone helping you for ‘harboring a runaway’. Is this a risk your boyfriend is willing to take for you?
What happens when you talk about your boyfriend to your Mom? If it turns into a fight every time, have you considered other ways to communicate? Sometimes it can be helpful to write out your thoughts, or practice with a neutral third party with discussing difficult topics with a parent. We may be able to help you draft what to say to your Mom about what you want your future to hold with Joey. We can also do conference calls if that is something you would be interested in. Please give us a call at any point so we can help you explore options, and come up with a plan on what to do next. We wish you the best of luck and please stay safe.

[Guest]

I'm 17 now I hate my home if I run away this is my second time running away and I will go to jail. I don't want to live here anymore the first time I left was the best time of my life I've ever had and I did things but it wasn't big things at all I just don't want to be in my home anymore I can't take it I have a boyfriend now my mom is just totally dissing him for some reason I don't know why but I truly love him and he loves me and Mom's threatening to put me on birth control for some reason I don't know and she's just like I don't care if you have a boyfriend but I just don't want you to have work and I'm just like I don't get it while you're doing this I don't know the officer that found me he told me if I was to run away again I will go to jail for at least three days I don't want to go to jail but I swear it's better than being here I swear it is I'm just asking cuz I am 17 now what can I do I need help I need answers I need someone to talk to me as soon as possible before I go to jail; so let me tell you how this summer has been... I've been chilling with my boyfriend my mom and my other parent has been suspicious about me and him but we are not doing anything we're good kids and we're still in school we have good grades and everything that I'm telling you this because I don't understand why I'm being treated like this when I'm a good kid I'm doing good in school and the boyfriends doing good in school he's basically at a college level he's so smart but anyways my mom recently called me a hoe and I don't know why because I'm her child and she knows I'm not like that I know I'm not like that for sure my boyfriend Riley knows I'm not like that for sure my sister knows and I like that for sure but I feel the reason why she called me that it's because when she was like 15 she ran away and she was roaming the streets you know looking for love and stuff like that I shouldn't be telling you this on social media or whatever but yeah I feel that she thinks I'm going to be her just because of my one mistake yeah we may look alike but I'm never going to be like you how you are the child I just I don't know what to do anymore I'm tired my boyfriend is just like I'm sorry you have to go to this and I'm just like you know even know the half of it so I'm asking y'all whoever is listening of is reading this right now what should I do I'm 17 I have to have some rights seriously though.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

First of all thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really tough time right now so it’s great you’ve been reaching out to better understand your options.

You mention that you are thinking about running away for a second time and that a police officer said he would put you in jail if you did leave again. A good option to see what would happen if you would run away would be to call your local police department and ask them hypothetically. A lot of police departments handle runaway reports differently so asking yours directly without giving away personal details would be a good option. It’s also important to make sure that if you decide to leave home you will go somewhere safe where you are able to provide for yourself. If you ever need any additional resources or ever need to talk we are available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY. If you are uncomfortable with contacting the police we can help do a conference call with them or call on your behalf to ask them whatever questions you might have.

We wish you good luck with everything.

[Guest]

Hello, i am 17 years old. I’ve never ran away, i’ve always thought about it but never had the guts to do it. My mother and I have never really had a real mother son relationship, and there really isn’t even a good reason why, we just never really clicked. One of my many issues that I have with her is that she never lets me go anywhere, like... anywhere. I do smoke marijuana and have been caught with it by her but I am 17 and it’s 2020, weed could literally become legal any day now. Every time i ask to leave the house to go to a friends house or even to my cousins house... she says no, and never gives me a reason why. I don’t have a car nor license nor a permit and i just got my state I.D. a few months ago...i’m 17 years old. What she doesn’t understand is that putting me into a “bubble” will do nothing but make me depressed and whenever it’s time for me to leave or the “bubble” to pop i’m not going to know what to do. I have always been a very shy and quiet person, I barely step out of my room and I never really bother her or my stepdad at all, but she always finds a way to scream at me or get mad at me in some way. It’s come to the point to where she has told me “you walk around the house like a depressed, homeless person”. I am depressed and she knows it. I have told her multiple times that she was the root of my depression without being disrespectful or making her feel ********ty about herself, but she always finds a way to go right back to her old habits or either tell me that I have nothing to be depressed about because we have money. Every time I try to talk to her about how i’m feeling it always gets flipped to how I put it on myself or it’s my fault. She also takes things from me when I get in trouble like i’m a 12 year old. It’s always small stuff like taking my phone or my playstation but it’s come to a point where i don’t even want to live in this house anymore because she does it so much. She has told me multiple times throughout my life that she “wishes she could go back in time.” and we all know what that means... I feel like our relationship is so broken to the point where it literally can’t be fixed. She treats me like ******** and I take it because i’m scared of her. I shouldn’t be scared of my mother, I shouldn’t get tense when I hear her walking up the stairs. All of these are things that I experience on a daily basis and i’m tired of it. She has also put her hands around my throat and held me up on a wall. I should also say that I have never ever once in my life disrespected this lady, anything she wants done I do it, it may not be perfect but it gets done and I always get told how it could have been better. She makes me hate myself and always gets mad when she finds out i’ve been hiding ******** from her. I truly don’t know how much more I can take. What do I do?

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. We did edit out your name because this is a public forum and we want to make sure you are anonymous.
It sounds like things are really stressful for you at home. Your mom sounds like someone that any reasonable person would be scared of. It sounds like you have had to deal with this for a really long time and it is understandable that her treatment of you is the source of your depression.
While we don’t know for sure, what we can say is that she treats you this way because of HER, not because of YOU. Our concern is for you and how to help you to be safe and to survive this situation. You haven’t done anything wrong; you haven’t’ done or not done anything that could make her act differently.
Your last question is, “What do I do?” you’ve already begun to do it. You were hopeful enough to search for help, and brave enough to begin to tell your story. It takes courage to do that and we hope you can feel pride in that. The next thing to do is to reach out to us in a way that we can converse with you. There are two ways to do that, both are confidential hotline, we can best support you if you call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) ; or by using our live chat service via www.1800runaway.org
WE are here for you 24/7 to listen and to help and we truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey I am 17 & I hate my parents. They blame me for anything that happens. They never support me for anything. It's depressing to stay here. I just wanna run away from here. They would be least interested. I try to be as calm as possible at home but still they find reasons to trigger me, They actually blame my friends for everything what i do & tbh i have the best kind of friends in all sense. What will i do? Run away?

[ccsmod4]

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).
We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. If you’re feeling unsafe and need a safe place to go and talk to someone, you may wish to visit The National Safeplace website (www.nationalsafeplace.org). This organization provides access to immediate help and supportive resources for youth in need. You can look up your city and state to see if there are any safe places near you listed. So that is always an option if you feel like talking to someone in person about what has been going on or if you just need a safe place to stay.

You also may use your phone to text the word “safe” and your current location (city/state/zip) to 44357. If there are safe places and shelters nearby, a list of those will be sent to your phone and you may have the option to text back and forth with a trained counselor as well.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m a 17 year old boy and I’m a creative person but I feel like I’m being restricted by my parents. Ever since my mom got re-married when I was 8 years old, life really hasn’t been the same and not in a good way. I dislike my stepfather a lot because, he would put so much emphasis on doing good in school, religion, and being a normal like-able person in society. At 15, I’ve ran away once before to one of my best friends houses for a week. I left a note saying where I was staying so my parents wouldn’t worry. I remember since I was 12 years old I’ve always been thinking about running away but I didn’t know where. My stepdad is controlling and toxic in my life. He would say hurtful words to me that left me almost committing suicide. He says I need to keep the religion that both my mom and him keep when I’m in the house. He would always eavesdrop in my convos with my mom or my friends when I’m on the phone. He is paranoid of every little bad possibility that could happen. Sure I’m grateful for the food and money he provides to the family but that’s just about it. He works in the hospital field so he sees all the worst cases but he thinks that bad things will happen to me. Like when I’m running he yells don’t run to fast bc you can trip and fall and hurt yourself. Or when I’m biking he says to be careful like no ********ing ******** Sherlock. And honestly I do bike a little dangerously but I’m really good at biking. I live in Brooklyn and sometimes we got crazy drivers or busy streets so ik how to bike really well bc of it. I would bike to underneath a bridge to go and relax and think and when my parents ask where I go, I tell them I went to the beach bc I don’t want them knowing I go under a bridge bc they will probably tell me no. My parents are religious ppl and I don’t have faith nor do I want to have faith in a god I do not believe in. But since they’re religious they use that as a means to control me, and bc of that I’m a wild kid and I am grateful for that. I like to climb buildings by using the fire escape and I just love to stay on top and enjoy the view and I also like to do some light parkour and I love climbing random things. I don’t tell my parents what I do bc I know my parents will have a heart attack and yell at me and won’t let me out of the house anymore. I don’t drink or smoke. I have a YouTube channel and I post videos of me doing funny things with my friends and I feel like I want to do more things and vlog about the things I love to do but I know my mom will think I’m crazy and won’t let me do anything. I can’t even curse in my house. Luckily my stepdad doesn’t watch YouTube bc then he would ******** his pants and be very pissed. He also is very unsupportive of my dreams and doesn’t think I can be a YouTuber when in reality I know I can. I’ve been complimented about my storytelling and editing and videos I make and I know I have a talent for them. I have long hair that goes down past my ears and my parents hate it. They make fun of me and call me a girl and I want to put some blonde highlights in my brown hair and my parents don’t want me to and will call me a girl and that I’m gay. I have so much energy and creativeness but I feel like I’m restricted in my house and so I’m very secretive about my life and my parents call me selfish for not doing anything in the house when I’m busy trying to start my life with YouTube. I have some great friends but none of which I feel close enough where I would run away to them. I have been thinking of living on the street or maybe climbing up a building and living on the roof. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I want to run away but I don’t know to who.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your stepfather. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.


Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS