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Arizona: I'm 16 and thinking about moving out, is it possible?

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  • Arizona: I'm 16 and thinking about moving out, is it possible?

    Alright so, my parents have been divorced for over 5 years. My dad lives in another state, so I WAS living with my mom. She remarried 2 years after her divorce and let's just say I never got along with her husband. We would always get in verbal arguments, and then one day he finally said it. "If you don't like the rules under my roof, there's the door." Since then I have been living with my aunt. Now the thing is, I noticed that since I started living with my aunt, she started struggling with money, and it really breaks my heart to see it. What I really want to do is find a roommate and get my own place...the only question is, how? My mom and I have a good relationship after many months of counseling, so do I just ask her for permission? Am I able to get any help from the government yet or am I still too young?
    I would move back in with my mom, but for one, her husband and I still DO NOT get along and Im not about to put up with that again. And two, her husband's sister has now taken over my room along with her family of 6.
    See my dilemma? Any information on if it is possible or not would be very helpful. Thank you!

  • #2
    Arizona: I'm 16 and thinking about moving out, is it possible?

    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are wondering about how you can leave home and may want to explore some options for you. It is great that you are trying to identify ways to bring up the issues and find the best way to execute a plan that you have in mind. It sounds like you may be able to talk with your mom especially since you stated you have a pretty good relationship, however, there seems to be some conflict with your mother's husband which sounds challenging. You mentioned counseling and maybe that could be a space to address the issues with your mom. Perhaps you would also benefit from contacting us by phone or through chat. We can help identify some ways to bring the idea up to your mom as well as ways that can maybe improve the situation at home. We are here for you 24/7. If you can call in, please call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or reach out by live chat between 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time.

    We look forward to your call or chat.

    Take care and be safe,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      My mom and dad have been separated for five years and I live with my mom but ever since my mom and dad got a divorce my mom has changed towards me. My mom constantly tells me that I’ll never be enough and that I’ll end up being just like my dad. She has hit me before and I have called CPS and I have told my school that I don't feel safe at home but my mom always seems to find a way out of the calls and complaints and lies and I always end up back with her and she makes my life a living hell. I do don't get along with my mom at all and it’s always a screaming match every day. I usually lock myself in my room to stay away from all the yelling and to avoid her trying to start a fight with me. I feel like I’m trapped. She won’t let me go outside of the house unless it’s to take down the trash but other than that I don't really get to socialize with any friends and she restricts me from a lot of my family members. Everyone always tells me just to go live with my dad but in the past he has beaten me up and has just as bad. I don't really talk to my dad. I have two little sisters and they usually go back and forth from my mom’s to my dad’s house. I wish I had a getaway, a life. I have looked into getting emancipated but I’m scared if my mom sees it that she will make my life worse so I’m really deciding to run away. I will have a job soon and I will be able to support myself but I have looked up if I could live with a friend or a family member if I ran away but everywhere I looked it said the person letting me live with them could go to jail. I don't want to live on the street or put anyone in jail for keeping me safe but I really need a place to call my home, somewhere I’ll feel safe in. But I don't know a good way around all of that so what would I do to get away from my mom? Would I be able to run away and live with a friend and roommate and pay bills or would she be able to take me back and put them in jail? I really just need to get out. I have everything situated to leave but I need to wait on an interview for the job and to start saving up money. I just want to be able to leave without getting searched for or the person I’m living with to go to jail. I am not a rebellious teen. I just generally don't feel good about this place I’m living in because my mom mentally breaks me down every day. She doesn't hit me much anymore but I don’t want anything to get worse. How would I be able to leave my house and live off on my own in the next few months?
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 04-02-2019, 02:47 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Reply: My mom and dad have been separated

        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

        We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
        As of right now you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.

        You don’t deserve to be hit or mistreated at home by your mom. It’s not your fault.
        It sounds like you have had open cases with CPS but they failed to remove you from the home. We understand how frustrating it must be for you to have reached out for help and not have things turn in your favor. You seem strong in your determination to become free of an abusive situation. Good for you. NRS is here to listen and here to help. If you would like to go over your plan or discuss and explore some options, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org

        Take care,
        NRS

        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          is it legal to move out at 16 without being emancipated?

          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home at 16 without being emancipated. Generally, 18 years old is the legal age you can leave home without a permission. The easiest way to leave home before turning 18 is with your guardian's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to them. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Please call or chat us if abuse is your situation and you would like to talk over this option.

            Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

            Be safe,

            NRS

        • #6
          My parents have been divorced for close to 13 years now. I am adopted into this family and since I have been little I have been physically and mentally harassed almost every day since my parents’ divorce, and from what my older siblings have told me, my mother has been abusive for almost their whole lives. We have had far over 25 different occasions in which CPS has been called by a family member or by neighbors with no result at all, at some times notes weren’t even taken and I have been told that what is going on is all bull******** and nobody will believe us by both the sheriff and CPS personnel. There has been a few times where we have called CPS, and once my mothers name was said they hung up immediately. She would bake brownies and cookies and even made lunch for the Police and social workers every time they came and every single time they have taken the bribe. We have tried counseling before but once the Psychologist mentioned that he believes that she is mentally ill, Since then my mother has tried to stop visiting because of “financial problems” but luckily my fathers insurance pays for everything. Both My doctor and the Psychologist said to her that I am suffering greatly with depression because of her actions and she blew it off, and often tells me that my life doesn’t matter and that no one would give a crap if I killed myself. My father has spent well over 8 thousand dollars attempting for custody but the court always rules in her favor because of the fact that my father is retired. She locks me and my two brothers(my older siblings have moved out by now) inside and I only get to go outside to take out the trash, under her intensive supervision of course. When I was younger my mother would often spy on me and my siblings while we would shower and would attempt to “wash us”. We have stated all of this to CPS and have had no response as if this many reports isn’t fishy enough. My mother would often take things away or delay Or take away our meals to make us cry and record us on her smartphone so she could later show it to her friends to show “how bad we are” to keep the cover up going. I have tried to reach out to many places and have even went too a “safe space” to escape my moms abuse only for her to call the police and report me as a runaway and would try her absolute hardest to get me locked up. Many people ask why I don’t just go to live with my dad and the answer is simple because I live in Arizona, I have no say about where I live whatsoever, and have sent many letters to the judge in custody court only to have them thrown away without a peek. I have experienced the true and prevalent corruption of the child protection agencies. My mother works for the school district making school the worst place to go to for my problems, and when I have the school counselors often denied it and relayed the information to my mother which only makes it worse, and have often gone days without seeing daylight, and this COVID-19 crisis gives her an even better excuse to control my every move. I believe there is nothing I can do and I am thinking about running away for good this time but I am afraid I will end up in jail or at her house once again. I can not run away to my fathers house because I tried once and she tried to get him locked up for “kidnapping” me. She often tries blaming my depression on “drug use” Because of the family I come from before I was adopted(my father killed himself in a shootout with SWAT and was a drug dealer and my mother is a missing meth addict and prostitute) which has been proven wrong by many un called for drug tests in which I came up negative. She goes so far as to call me a drug addict because she knows how much pain it has caused me and my family even though she knows that I would never partake in drug use for that exact reason. It often makes me so sad I have slept for 19 hours in a day Or more multiple times and cry myself to sleep every night, wether or not I am visiting my father. At this point I feel that there is nobody to help me because of how corrupt Arizona’s Child care systems are. My mother’s physical abuse slowed down a little bit once I became big enough to defend myself, but her mental abuse has been going on for so long that I don’t know how to act normally around people Or ask for things like water because I feel like I may get in trouble, and I have been told by almost every one of my friends that I say sorry too much and that it’s annoying. Nobody understands my circumstances because they probably think “what mother would do that do their children?”. I seriously need help with this situation but I have always been scared to get it because I am almost certain nothing will work. I do not have a door on my room and I have caught my mother watching us sleep late into night, and it has even lasted for over an hour. I feel extremely uncomfortable and violated constantly. Please list some coping mechanisms as I believe there is no way out of this except wait until I am 18.

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
            While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
            We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            Be safe,
            NRS
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