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18 in 2 months, can't stand it anymore.

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  • 18 in 2 months, can't stand it anymore.

    I lost my dad at the age of 11, just a month before I turned 12. He was everything I had. I had to live with a mentally insane mother and a social-anxiety laced sister. Unable to handle the abuse from my mom and neglect from my sister, I bailed to my therapist and got out.
    At first, it seemed I had no where else to go besides the youth home I was currently in until my mother's sister popped up and offered to take me in. I only knew her once from being 7 and visiting another aunt. She seemed very nice, I had seen pictures of her home [and it's gorgeous!] and it was in a cool city known as Memphis.
    She promised me safety. She promised me love and care. It was just a fake promise like every other family member gave me.
    Love and care? I barely saw much love and the care was only there when I needed things [like for school or medical care]. I was promised she could talk to me whenever I needed, but I was constantly turned away because she was 'busy'. When I broke down while my sister was visiting, my aunt responded by taking away my laptop and ignored me for a full 2 days.
    Safety never existed either.
    My uncle is a hardcore alcoholic. He always had his episodes and reeked of the smell. It was a constant reminder of my abusive older brother I once had, and it gives me nightmares every night. My uncle decided he'd try to stop drinking. That ended up him snapping the night of my return from my trip to England and he had locked my aunt out of the house.
    When I tried to let my aunt back in, he grabbed me and slammed me into the wall. I had tried to lift my hand to soften it but I only managed to hurt my thumb badly. It was bruised and swollen for atleast 3 days. To this day, he's still being insanely hateful and mean to both me and my aunt.

    I'm done. I'm turning 18 in just 2 months, but I can't wait any longer. I need out, NOW. I already have a plan, I live on one side of Tennessee and I have a friend who's willing to take me in, take care of me, and put me into the school close to them on the other side. I already have figured out how to get there. Everything is planned. However, I need to know if I'm going to be chased down like a deer if my aunt and uncle contact the police. I don't want my friend to get into deep trouble for helping me start a better life, but I have heard that if I told my guardians kinda where I am [not the exact full address of course] and if my friend's taking care of me and has me in school, it should be okay.

    I've already talked to the chat hotline about this, and we had made plans to call my local police to see if 'the teenager' would be pursued, but I have realized I won't be able to call for some time [2 or 3 days]. I need an answer NOW, that way I can get out of here ASAP.

  • #2
    RE: 18 in 2 months, can't stand it anymore

    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and posting to the bulletin board. I’m glad, too, that you were able to utilize the chat service. We are glad that you are seeking some guidance. This sounds like a tough situation to be in, especially since it sounds like living with your aunt and uncle is not healthy or safe for you based on the information you provided. You definitely deserve (everyone does) love and care, and good for you for 1) knowing you need it and 2) seeking it out, and doing so in a smart way.
    You were probably told this via the chat, but just to reiterate, we are not legal experts here but we can certainly let you know what we know. First, running away is *not* illegal. What that means is that if a runaway report is filed, it’s not a misdemeanor or felony or anything that would go on your record.
    Does your aunt have legal custody? If not, she might not be able to file the runaway report (it’s a parent/guardian who is able to do that). If your aunt does have custody, and does file a runaway report, and for some reason you are picked up by the police, their main concern would be to reunite you with your aunt. In some places if you are 17 and close to 18, the police won't make you go back - but they would look to see if you're in a safe place. If you're in a safe place, they may not make you go back home. Additionally, 17 is such a grey area that it is not unusual for police to not even take a runaway report.
    You mentioned a plan to contact the local police to find out what their procedure was for someone who is two months from turning 18. That is a good plan, and you are welcome to do so, but also know that it is likely that the police will say they would take the report (because they’re being asked what they would do in a hypothetical), but if push came to shove and your aunt went to file it they may not. There are no guarantees and no one to know with 100% certainty what could happen.
    Our main concern above all others here at NRS is that you are safe and off the streets. So please know that you can call/email/post 24/7.
    Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes courage to ask for help when trying to figure out some options/seek help, which is awesome. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call us. We’re here 24 hours 7 days a week to support you and be a sounding board for you to bounce off ideas. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    Best of luck to you,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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