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17 years old in Texas, need to leave home

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I’m a 17 year old who lives in Texas and wants to get away from my family bc they are very mentally abusive towards me. I don't want to get any CPS or anything involved bc i don’t want my younger siblings taken away i just want to leave in peace and hopefully comeback when they dont have as much authority over me. my birthday is 9 months away .. does a runaway report stay in your record after you’re 18 ? when i turn 18 is the runaway report dropped ?

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS! It takes a lot of courage to share your story. We’re so sorry to hear about what’s going on at home. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You deserve to feel comfortable, safe, and loved. We’re also sorry to hear that your case worker didn’t advocate for you as much as you would have hoped. You have the option of requesting a new case worker, if you wish.
    We’re glad to hear that you have a therapist to lean on for support! Hopefully talking with them has been helpful, and continues to be helpful, in coping with everything that’s going on. We’re also glad to hear that your friend is willing to take you in – it sounds like they really care about you.

    Running away is a big step, but you know your situation better than anyone else, so if that’s the decision you make, we here at NRS will do whatever we can to help you and keep you safe. Here’s some general information about running away:

    - Running away is a status offense, not a legal offense. This means that you cannot get in legal trouble for running away.
    - If you run away, your parents have the right to file a runaway report at your local police department. If your parents file a runaway report, and if the police find you, they will attempt to return you home. If you tell the police that you feel unsafe at home, they will contact the Department of Family and Protective Services, and a social worker will conduct a full investigation.
    - If your parents file a runaway report, they do have the right to press harboring charges against whoever you’re staying with. This is pretty unlikely, but it’s still a possibility.

    That being said, there may be some other options to explore. If your parents give their written permission, you’re able to live elsewhere – with a friend or a relative, for example. A Transitional Living Program might be another option. TLPs offer free or low-cost housing to teenagers and young adults, and they last anywhere from a few months to a few years. Most TLPs also offer programs that teach life skills and financial independence.

    If you’d like to talk about what’s going home, have questions about anything we’ve mentioned, or want to explore other options, you can give us a call at 1 (800) RUN-AWAY or chat with us at www.1800runaway.org. We’re here to listen, and we’re here to help in any way we can.

    Good luck & stay safe!

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 17 and I'm turning 18 in June. i graduate high school in may, but my dad is severely abusive, emotionally and physically. I'm going to my therapist sometime soon and my plan was if she doesn't make him leave the house for good, I was going to run away to a friends house... but I'm so scared. I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and manic depression and I've been through a lot since sixth grade. My mom helps, but she's scared of him too, which sucks cuz she's not much help when he gets mad. The last time CPS got involved was last year and MY case worker was on my parent's side of things, beliveing them when they kept telling them i was being "dramatic" and "lying" about everything. I don't know what to do... I live in Texas. I need help

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  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now and we hope to be able to help you out. We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for having you stay there if your parents file a report.

    Some police departments don’t accept runaway reports for 17 year olds, but the policies may vary by each department. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

    One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your guardian but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your guardian why you want to leave and maybe they can give you permission to do so. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello I am a 17 year old in Houston Texas and my guardian told me I could leave if I want but he called the cops and reported me as a run away. My birthday is in April so what do I do? I’m taking GED classes so in April I can take the exam and finish my registration. I have been accepted in school have a job and a place to stay.

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. You don't deserve to be treated like that by your mom's boyfriend. It sounds really exhausting to have custody change so frequently. If your mom has legal custody it would be the same in all 50 states. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but assuming that you are not currently involved in any kind of court disciplinary program, if you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

    It seems like the transition to living with your mom started out smoothly but has become turbulent. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hello i want to leave and have several places to go that will take care of me. I'm 17 i have been in a group home and foster care before in new mexico. My dads parents got temporary custody of me (my dad got arrested for things he did to me so his parents were using me as a stay out of jail card) 7 months ago so i moved to texas and then they "gave" custody to my mom and for the first month it was good. Things have gotten worse, she wasn't in my life for 5 years and im obeying her rules. Yes i do give attitude but i work and go to a private school i graduate a year early. Yesterday her boyfriend texted and said your getting fat (remind you i hardly even eat) then said you better not be pregnant, my boyfriend lives in another state and he goes you could of f*** your ex boyfriend. My mom and i always argue and its not the first time that they have said things like this. my grandpa has told me several times that im ugly and i need to leave and i never have because i didnt have places to go but now i do. will i get arrested? im on my last strike on running away. what will happen if i go back to new mexico? does anyone have custody of me down here?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It is obvious that you really care about your friend and their safety. It is great that you have been able to provide support to them while they are dealing with a very difficult situation.

    No one deserves to be abused, if you are ever concerned about your friend’s immediate wellbeing/safety, please reach out to the police emergency number 911. Regarding your question, we are not legal experts at NRS, however we can provide some general information. Running away is a status offense for a minor, similar to breaking curfew. This would mean they could potentially be picked up by the police and taken back home. Depending on the situation, someone who provides shelter to a runaway youth could be charged with harboring a runaway. This would be dependent on multiple things, such as state/county law and if there was an immediate danger to the youth. If you are hoping to provide long term shelter, this might be dependent on if a runaway report has been filed for your friend. It is important to note that some counties do not accept runaway reports for minors bordering on the age of majority.

    If you or your friend would like further assistance or more information, you can reach out to us via our hotline (1-800-786-2929) or our chat service. We are available 24/7 and our number is toll free. We can provide mental and emotional health referrals, support, and we could help devise an action plan for dealing with this situation.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My friend is 17 and she is being mentally and physically abused. She wants to run to my house but my mother is afraid of their family seeking legal action. If she can't get away I am afraid she might take it into her own hands and harm herself or others. Is there any way I can take her in without suffering legal action.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It is very brave and admirable of you to take steps to do what is best for your well-being. You asked some really great questions. We are not legal experts , so we cannot give you absolute answers for your legal concerns. In general if you leave home without your legal guardian's permission, he can report you as a runaway. It is not illegal, but it means that the police might return you home. However this is not always the case for individuals who are close to turning 18 and we are not sure how this might affect the custody hearings. If you have a caseworker or someone assigned to your case for the hearing, they would most likely have more knowledge about your situation and the legal implications for leaving before custody is transferred. Additionally, if you call or chat with us (800-786-2929 ; 1800runaway.org) we can look up legal aide resources in your state who may be able to better answer your questions.

    We are here 24/7 to listen and help if you would like to talk more about what is going on.

    Good luck,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I live with my dad who has custody of me but I do have a choice to go to court and have that changed I want to leave his house in the middle of the night to go to my moms and to get him served because I know if I live with him before it’s served he will make my life hell while the trial is running I was wondering if I leave would I still have to live with him before the trial and everything is fixed or could I live with my mother while it’s going on she wants me to live with her and that’s what I want but I know he doesn’t so will I have to stay at my dads before it’s legally changed or can I leave and then deal with it

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  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there –

    Thank you for reaching out to us here on our public forum. Hopefully you have taken the opportunity to explore the responses on this thread to see if they can help you. It is our thought by helping you during your crisis, that there are others out there going through the same situation can look at this thread and find the answers that they need as well. Of course if you need additional support you are more than welcome to reach out to us via our online chat or our 24/7 hotline.

    It’s very unfortunate that you have been so vocal about the mistreatment and lack of trust that you are facing at home and no one seems to believe you. No one should feel like they aren’t being heard or having their feelings validated. We are sorry that you have to go through something like that daily. When people feel like they aren’t being heard, it’s understandable that they want to be removed from that environment and go someplace that is a little more positive and productive. Sounds like you have starts to look elsewhere (ie. your boyfriend) for that support that you do need. It’s great that you do have someone in your life that you are able to lean on and confided in about what is going on at home.

    As you have probably read from our other replies on this page, is that we aren’t legal experts nor can we tell you want you should or should not do. The choice to leave home before the age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), will have to be completely you and no one else. After all, it is your own life that you are talking about so the possible consequences of what happen are going to be yours to face. There are some cases in which a police officer won't take a runaway report for someone that is 17, especially if there are a little closer to turning 18 years old. We have also heard that in TX, the rules are a little more relaxed for 17 year olds trying to leave home and move someplace else. But something to keep in mind is that though a police officer doesn't take a report it doesn't make it legal for minors to leave home before turning 18, it would still be considered a statues offense.

    The thing you want to keep in mind is that once you do choose to run and/or leave, how that is going to impact your relationship with your parents and family. Being okay with what happens is completely up to you. Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing it might be a good idea so that you can think about what is reasonably possible for you to do and want isn’t. Factoring in these kinds of thoughts into your overall plan, again can possibly help you in your choice (i.e, where are you going to be living [long term vs. short term], what's your role in the house, are you going to be working/going to school, will you be paying your share of the bills/rent, what happens if you realize down the road that you can't live together and they kick you out and/or break-up, etc). It's certainly a jump step to make and we want you to be as safe as possible when making your decision.

    Best of luck!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 17 years old and I have been being mistreated by my stepmother, she has told me that Im a burden to hers and my dads marriage and that Im selfish (because I chose the military over staying home to watch her kids) and I recently told her about a miscarriage I had in March and the reason I never told anyone was because she has threatened me and said if I were to ever get pregnant she would kick me in the stomach and kick me out, my 2 younger sisters heard this and were present and when I told my dad they denied everything. Recently my dad and I got into a fight and I told him everything, I told him I didnt feel welcome in my own home and I didnt want to be there, he completely ignored everything and took her side and believed everything she told him... Im tired of living there and they are even neglecting my mental health, my counselor has concluded that I have a depressive disorder and a personality disorder of a sort, but they refuse to take me to a doctor for a proper diagnosis and even make fun of my mental health. My boyfriend (1 has recently started renting a house and it has been recommended by several people that I move in. what do i do? I have a job, a car, and I plan on enlisting in the Navy, May 2020.

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there, thanks for reaching out for your son. Sounds like he is out of your control and you are not sure what the next step could be. That has to be a really hard situation to be in and here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you and your family.

    One option is the next time that he does sneak out, you can report him as a runaway with local police. Running away is generally a status offense, meaning something that minors cannot do because of their age rather than something that is illegal. If he is found he could be returned home. Depending on what state you are in and your local court system, there might be programs meant to help youth who are out of control of their parents care. If you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY we can look to see if your state has a program like that. You might also try to reach out to your local police and ask about your local options if you are wanting the juvenile justice system to be involved.

    Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk more about your situation. 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

    Best,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My boy is sneaking off or knight amigos girl friend dad confronted me. I don't know why he still allows her to see him. He is to be and old. 16. To punish. The phone thing. As in take away does nothing. So what my next stage? He want to go into air force. Going to ROTC is a foot play and honor student. But no car no license no job. And disrespectful. What to do. He is the olds of 3 boys. I'm a single Dad for last 10 years.

    Leave a comment:

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