Wanting legal advice

[Unregistered]

At the moment I'm the age of 16, but in June I will be the age of 17, which is when I plan on moving out. One of the reasons I want to move out is that my step father is not one of the greatest people in the world and can be beyond frustrating at any moment, as well as unpredictable at times. My plan is not to fully move out of someone's custody, but move into my fathers house before my senior year of high school. My father has a well paying job, by this I mean almost 150,000$ a year, along with a good amount of money he has saved up in the bank that he tells me about, and that I have seen myself. I also plan on going to school in Texas and this would help him with paying tuition if I get one year of residency in Texas instead of paying out of state tuition. I also have a job, and gladly will work as long as I get paid, so hopefully I can transfer to a new store, because I work at dominoes and their franchise is so big.

But my main question is how will I go about bringing this up to my mother who is very sensitive about these kind of things, I also want to still talk to her, because I love her dearly, but I don't think a home with seven people and a income of 160,000$ a year with two people, is quite the best place for me. What legal actions can help this become easy, and do you have any advice on how to bring it up to her?

[ccsmod4]

Wanting legal advice

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you have given a lot of thought to the idea of moving from one household to another. By giving yourself a year’s time table perhaps it might help you to build a strong case to help convince your mother that your idea is a good one. Your idea about college establishing a year’s residency to help cut tuition costs sounds like a good point. You also seem to have figured in working for the same company if you get to relocate at your father’s home in TX.
The thing you seem concerned most about is how to introduce the idea to your mother. In your opening statements you mentioned that your stepfather is one of the reasons you would like to make this move. While it can be frustrating trying cope with someone that you may not have the best relationship with it can be even more stressful when that person is a parent or step parent.

So how do you introduce the conversation about relocating to your mom?

You might consider what your key points are and where they and your mother fit in your priority list. How do you think she will feel about you wanting to move out?
Are you only thinking about this move because of your relationship with your step dad or is it more about living with your father and beginning your college career?
Another option is to talk it over with your father and get his insights about approaching your mom and stepdad about it.
How does that sound?

You are welcome to call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or visit www.1800Runaway.org to talk more about your situation.
We are happy to listen and explore options with you.
Sometimes talking can be helpful with relieving stress.

We hope reaching out to NRS was it was helpful with formulating your thoughts tonight. We hope to hear from you soon.
Take Care and good luck,
NRS

[Unregistered]

What can I do?

I'm 17 and will be 18 in May of 2016. 272 days to go. My parents are really hateful and mean. My mom gets really jealous if I have anyone else that I care about in my life, like my boyfriend and his sister. Because of her selfishness and jealousy she is very irrational about everything. I was in my room because I finished all of my chores and she said I was grounded because she never gets to see me. Keep in mind I live with her and only work about two days a week. She sees me all the time. But according to her I don't have enough time for my family, only my boyfriend and his sister. So her solution was to threaten me by saying that I was getting my phone taken away, she was going to give my car away(which I'm paying for), she was going to make me break up with my boyfriend and forbid me to see him ever again, and she also added at the end if I even so much as acted suicidal she'd stick me in a mental institution so I could get the propper help. She said there's nothing wrong with being discaplined. Keep in mind I was just sitting in my room. Her and my dad both degrade me because I'm indifferent about college. They tell me I'm going no where in life. Also when I sold my old car she guilt tripped my into loaning her $600 and then she made up a story that I owed her the money and she never gave it back. I don't feel I have to time or resources to become emancipated, but can I stay with someone else? What are my options? I'm desperate.

[ccsmod4]

What can I do?

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.
It sounds like you are going through what must feel like a very frustrating and maybe even confusing time at home. We understand that it can be difficult to deal with someone that exhibits what seems like irrational behavior. You are to be commended for keeping calm throughout the situation.
In most states you are legally under your parent’s guardianship until the age of eighteen. Leaving home beforehand could result in you being considered a runaway. Once a report has been filed you could be picked up and taken home by the police. For direct information about the runaway laws in your state you could contact the nonemergency number of your local police department.
Does that make sense?

Where would you say things started to go downhill for you and your mom?
Communication is important so it can be quite frustrating and stressful when it breaks down. It’s good you reached out to talk.
If you could talk with your mom how would you approach telling her how you feel? It sounds like from what you wrote she has been direct in telling you how she feels. Sometimes one can be so frustrated with a situation it’s not as easy to listen to what is being said. Take a look at what you wrote as you described your mother’s behavior towards you.
What do you hear her being most frustrated about?
Since you seem to think your mother could be jealous of your relationships outside the home have you thought about trying to ease the situation by trying to plan a day for the two of you? It might be an opportunity for the two of you to talk and try to mend some fences. How does that sound?

You are frustrated about her venting about spending time with your boyfriend and his sister. She seems to be frustrated about not having time spent with you.
Is it possible that spending time with her might help your relationship?
NRS is here to listen and here to help.

You are welcome to call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or visit www.1800Runaway.org (NRS live chat) to continue expressing your feelings about things at home.

Maybe you would like to talk about options or come up with a plan to deal with the situation. We hope that things get better and hope to hear from you soon.

Take Care,
NRS

[Anonymous]

Running away and need help.

Hi I am a 14 year old and I am running away... the problem is I dont know where to go. The problem is... is that i get abused and my feelings get taken advantage of, and finally family problems. I have told my entire family about how i dont feel like i fit in with them and how i feel like i have been lied to. They all said that I am crazy and that if I run away I am no longer welcomed in the house. All my mom cares about is showing me off to all her family and friends. I told her that and she choked me up against a wall.My parents are divorced and I wanted to live with my dad but of course she wouldnt allow that even though i would get the chance to go to a better school. I was diagnosed about 2 years ago with Asperger's, ever sense then my just loved how my disability made me smarter. She doesnt understand what i go through. I am a gifted student and I cant focus at all in class, and all she does is make me feel like a freak. She said that i should just take pills for my depression and my disability. I have tried to cut myself but all i could think of is how my mom would throw me out of the house and/ or kill me. I am a 14 year old and because my mom likes a certain apartment building i have to share a room with a 2 yearold. I want out were can i go? How can I make money? How can I go to school? How can i get fresh food and water?

[ccsmod14]

RE: Running away and need help.

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been going through a lot with your mom and it’s understandable that you would want to get out. We’re glad you reached out, we will help as much as we can.

You shared that you get abused. You do not deserve to be abused by anybody, in any way. You are really brave to speak out about what you’ve been going through, and it sounds like you’re really trying your best to try to find a solution. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. Have you ever thought about making a report regarding the abuse? If this is something you would like to do, or just talk through what that would look like, you can call us at 1800 RUNAWAY or you can call Child Help USA at (800) 422 4453.

It sounds like you would like to live with your dad, but your mom will not let you. This has got to be really frustrating. If you feel that there is any sort of compromise that could be reached regarding living with your dad, you could call us for assistance. We offer a service called conference calling for youth, which means if you needed help speaking with either a legal guardian or an agency like a shelter, we could help you with this by facilitating the conversation and making sure each party is equally heard.

Generally speaking, we are not legal experts but in most states, before the age of 18 if you leave without legal guardian’s consent, they would have the right to make a runaway report. If a report is made, and the police find you they would just bring you back home. However, anyone that you stay with could potentially be charged for harboring. You asked some great questions about where you would go, how you could make money, go to school and get food and water. These are all wonderful questions that we cannot answer specifically, because every situation is different. Resources can be very limited for minors, but we do have a large database here at the National Runaway Safeline. If you call or chat with us, we could try to find some resources closest to you and work through options and plans.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat to talk further, we are here to help you through this.

Best of luck,
NRS