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  • i feel like i need to leave my house for my own safty.

    My name is *****. I'm 16 years old and I live in Pennsylvania. I feel like I need to leave my house. I need to get away. I have a lot of siblings. And I live with my mom and dad. Living at home just agent been working for me. A while back I've had experience with self harm and cutting myself. I try so hard to stay away from it now that it's in the past. But my mom and I argue so much. My mom yells about everything and I'm always stuck doing things that should be a parents responsibility. For a while I didn't mind taking care of things for my parents. I never minded helping out my parents. But I babysit all the time. I'm stuck washing all the laundry including my moms. I take care of all the kids. Don't get me wrong I love helping out. But my mom started depending on me to take care of everything. She expects me to do everything. And I just can't. She yells at me a lot for the smallest things. Its gotten so bad now that sometimes I feel the need to go back to self harm. And I know that isnt the answer. There's gotta be a better way. I have friends and other adults willing to take me in. I feel like staying at my house is just putting me in danger of myself. Can I leave and go stay with a friend or another trusted adult? What would happen if my parents called the cops? Reportedme missing? Can I get in trouble for running away? My reason for leaving would be because I just dont feel safe at home. I feel in danger of myself when I'm around my house. What can I do? Please help asap. Thank you so much.
    Last edited by ccsmod6; 08-03-2015, 07:33 AM.

  • #2
    RE:i feel like i need to leave my house for my own safty.

    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like being at home brings on negative thoughts which seems like it is causing you to want to self-harm. It takes a lot of strength to realize that this is something you do not wish to do and even greater strength to not do it even when the urge intensifies because of everything happening at home. It sounds like you are supportive of your family and care greatly for them but may have reached a breaking point with all of the added responsibilities. It sounds quite overwhelming and exhausting. What are some things that you enjoy doing that may help you cope with the stress at home?

    Regarding your questions, we can only provide general information as we are not legal experts. It sounds like maybe going to a friend’s house or trusted adult may help you get away for a little while, but you are wondering what would happen if you left. If you are a minor and you leave home without permission, your parents/legal guardians do have the right to file a runaway report. If the police were notified, they may try to search for you. If they find you they generally would bring you back home- depending on your situation. As far as getting into trouble, running away is not a criminal offense but a status offense meaning you are not allowed to do that because you are a minor, very similar to skipping school. You may only face trouble with the law if you are on probation/parole or commit a crime while away from home.

    You mentioned feeling you are a danger to yourself when you are at home. Does your family or anyone else know how you are feeling? We are wondering if you thought about seeking mental health treatment for your depression. If so, what has your experience been like? If you would like some help in locating resources, we can help you out with that. You would just need to call in to our crisis line at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us and we would be more than happy to provide some resources for you. You can always reach out to 911 or visit your nearest emergency hospital if you ever feel unsafe so that you can get the necessary treatment you may need and deserve.

    It sounds like getting away for a break may help. How would you feel asking your parents for permission to go somewhere for a little while for a break? We could help you express this to your parents if you wanted to utilize our conference calling service where we can serve as a mediator.

    If you feel that your depression worsens and you have thoughts of ending your life, please consider reaching out to us here at NRS or contacting the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or visiting www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. And if you would like to explore some support for self-harming, you may benefit from visiting To Write Love on Her Arms www.twloha.org.

    Please know that you are not alone in this. We are here to listen and to help. We can explore options with you about staying safe and helping with your situation at home.

    We wish you well and hope you stay safe. We look forward to your call or chat.

    Take care,

    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod6; 08-03-2015, 09:37 AM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      can I leave my house if I don't live with my mom or dad

      I am 16 and I have a lot going on with life and I do not live with my step mom I am leaving with my aunt so the question is if I can leave and move to be with my dad if my step mom and dad are not dating and at this point my step mom is putting me down and I need some help like on everything and I want to just be on my own and do what I have to do my step moms family don't talk to me at all like I feel really uncomfortable and my brother doesn't want to live with our step mom .
      Because she treats way bad then what she treats her own kids..
      Like I just feel like its time for me and my brother to leave ..
      And just be with my dad .😞💔

      Comment


      • #4
        re: can I leave my house if I don't live with my mom or dad

        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out today and posting here. It sounds like you’re dealing with so much with your stepmom. You never deserve to be mistreated. It’s smart of you to reach out for some guidance and to get some information. So let’s see how we can help you out.

        We aren’t legal experts here, but we are able to speak generally about all this. It basically comes down to who your legal guardian is. If you leave your step mom’s house without the permission of your legal guardian, then your legal guardian has the right to file a runaway report with the police. If the police take the report, then they could look for you and if they find you, then they would bring you back home. It’s not illegal to be filed as a runaway, but you could be brought back home.

        So if your stepmom is your legal guardian, she has the right to file a runaway report if you leave. You are basically allowed to live where your legal guardian gives you permission to live. That’s because your legal guardian is legally responsible for anything that happens to you until you turn 18. Once you turn 18, you gain the right to choose where you live.

        We hope that this is helpful for you. If you’d like to talk more about any of this, please call or chat with us. You can call us 24 hours a day at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm central time.

        We look forward to your call or chat.

        Best of luck to you,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          What am I to do?

          I live with my mom and we tend to bump heads a lot and get into fights, it happens all the time. Can I leave the house if i feel unsafe?

          Comment


          • #6
            RE: What am I to do?

            Hello there –

            Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. After reading your post on our public forum, it sounds like you are certainly going through a lot right now. Having to deal with constantly fighting with your mother must be very overwhelming for you to the point where you are feeling unsafe at your home. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially by a parent at home. Just know that you always have the right to report any abuse (physical, mental, sexual, harassment, and neglect) to your local police department or child protective service in your state. If you don’t feel comfortable with that option or if you have a few questions about the process, we are more than happy to help you with that.

            Depending on your age, your mother could file a runaway report or send to police over to where you have been planning on staying to come and get you to bring you back home. If you didn’t have anywhere to stay, staying at a youth shelter might be difficult as well because most shelters are required to call a child’s parents if they are under the age of 18. That is to let them know where they are and even then most aren’t going to be a lot term living situation for youth. We don't want you to be on the streets were it can get to be a little dangerous so a resource that you might be able to look into if you’re looking for a safe place to go, would be to visit The National Safeplace website (www.nationalsafeplace.org). This organization provides access to immediate help and supportive resources for youth in need. You can look up your city and state to see if there is any safe places near you listed. They are usually places like designated school, fire stations, libraries, etc. So that is always an option if you feel like go to talk to someone in person and what has been going on. You might even want to explore talking to a school counselor in person and explaining that you don’t feel safe going home. They might have certain protocols to handle these types of situations with you.

            If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you about what has been going on recently. We also have an online chat service available every day.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              I'm planning to leave my house n work in a good way

              Comment


              • ccsmod1
                ccsmod1 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello,

                Thanks for reaching out to us for help and support, that was brave of you. We are here to listen and help in any way that we can. Sounds like you are planning to run away. If you need to talk about your situation, you can call us any time. We are happy to talk through your options and help you come up with a plan to deal with your situation and stay safe. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

            • #8
              My friend lives in an environment where her grandfather is a terrible guardian. She doesn't live with her mom or dad because her mom is unfit to be a mother. (She does a lot of drugs and bring men home often) Her dad is a jail bird (I don't know why he's in) And her grandparents are terrible people. Her grandmother constantly puts her down and her grandfather touches her inappropriately. I want to get her out of there before he goes to far... But I don't want her going to her mom or some foster care where the same thing could happen and I wouldn't know. What do I do???

              Comment


              • #9
                Hi there,

                Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

                We're sorry to hear about what your friend has been facing and it sounds like you're a really good friend for reaching out for them. If they need help with any type of child abuse reporting or help about their rights as a minor or about guardianship, they can reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. They can talk to them about their options and help walk them through their rights. We can also be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to help them if they decide to leave and need access to shelters or other resources.

                Let us know how we can best help,

                NRS

                We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #10
                  Hey, my name is ****** and I’m struggling over here. I’m 14 a freshman in high school and it’s like life can’t get any harder. I’m tired of everyday being a issue of some sort it’s like I can not get away. About a month ago I became grounded for my parents finding stuff in my phone. Which I get I’m wrong for because I’m not an adult and I should have been doing most of that stuff. But what I don’t think my parents understand is that I’m a teenager and that’s what you kinda have to expect. When I first became grounded it was bad, my step-father threatened to beat me with a belt so I grabbed a belt and told him that if he hit me I would have no problem with hitting him back to which he eventually backed off and went into his room with my mom. But the begging of this whole issue began with myself, my step-father, and my Mother. We had a discussion over a stupid charger I took from my sister a while ago which I didn’t tmr her taking because I have short term memory loss that my parents know about. So we continued with the conversation and at some point my stepfather asked me a question and I answered it truthfully to which he accused me of lying and told me to bring him my phone. I refused because at first I wanted to know what I was being punished for mind you my step-father always accuses me of stuff and punish’s me for unreasonable things. Now I understand that I was wrong and I should’ve given him my phone but then I was just annoyed and let my feelings get the best of me. So my mom came after me to get the phone and my stepfather stopped my mom and he went after me. In the process of him trying to grab my phone he slapped my arm. And my stepfather used to be abusive to my mom and sister. So he hit me and my first instinct was to hit him back because I don’t do well with men hitting me. Like I biological father used to beat me with wooden blinds which is why I don’t see him anymore. So I punched him back and after that it went downhill. Long story short I ended up staying the night over a close friends house to allow the tension to go down but it just got worse and worse. The next day my mom came to pick me up and was pissed I came to realize that she had gone through my whole phone and found a lot of things. We ended up having a “family meeting” that night to witch I was interrogated and punished. My stepfather did most of the punishing by taking my phone, Tv, door, makeup, perfume, athletic and regular shorts, jeans, contacts, computer, No homecoming, and a few more things I can’t think of. Mind you most of the stuff they took wasn’t even paid for by them. Most of the clothes taken were my friends, makeup/perfume, paid for by me, shorts paid for by me, and computer was bought for me from my grandparents. It’s been 1 month since then and every day is hell. Around 2 weeks ago I wrote a note to my stepfather I never intentionally meant for him to read. But while I was over my friends house last night he went through my whole room and found it. (My mom is on my side and she allowed me to stay over my friends house this weekend so we told my stepfather I was going over my grandfathers). Anyways the more basically talked about how emotionally and physically abuse he is and how if it continues I wild have no problem with preceding with it legally. Long story short he found it and I over heard him talking to my mom about it and how this is the new normal for me oh and if your wondering how I writing this my mom have gave me her old phone to temporarily use. I’m tired of living here I wanna leave. And it’s not a opinion to love with my biological dad so I’m basically stuck. He called the cops on me the first time everything happened and she basically said there nothing she can do about it that at the end of the day he’s still my parent and I stuck with him. I’m this close to running away.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod1
                    ccsmod1 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hey there,

                    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like there's a history between you and your stepdad and it's created a really tense environment. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

                    It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. If you have a place to go in mind, it’s good to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living on your own can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.

                    It seems like maybe your stepdad doesn't fully understand how his past behavior and current threats and disciplinary actions are making you feel. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your stepdad so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

                    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

                    Stay safe,
                    NRS

                • #11
                  My dad abuses me and I feel Un safe to sleep in my home tonight

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod0
                    ccsmod0 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,
                    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
                    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
                    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
                    We hope to hear from you soon.
                    Be safe,
                    NRS

                • #12
                  I am 13 and i feel unsafe in my home in oklahoma, do i have the legal right to go to my grandmothers

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod13
                    ccsmod13 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,

                    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel safe at home. It sounds like your grandmother is where you feel safest right now.

                    Your parents are legally responsible for you which means they have a say in where you live. The easiest way to live with another family member would be with your parents' permission. Sometimes having another adult involved to advocate for your needs can make these difficult conversations a little easier. Perhaps your grandma can speak with your parents about you living with her at least temporarily.

                    If you don't feel safe at home due to neglect or abuse, you do have the option to report this to child protective services. After making a report, a caseworker would likely come to your home to investigate the situation. This would include talking to you and your parents. While you might not be removed from the home immediately, it could start a process with that outcome. If you would like to learn more about what the reporting process might look like for you, you can speak with an advocate at the National Child Abuse Hotline, www.childhelp.org.

                    We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

                    Stay strong,
                    NRS

                • #13
                  I’m dealing with child and family services I was living w my grandma and left her house do to fighting and other things then I moved in with one of my friends and stuff wasn’t working out there so I left once again now I’m I’m in a difficult situation and don’t know what to do I have a boyfriend and his mom has offered to take me in but child services says they don’t know if they can allow it and I don’t have any where to go if they don’t allow it I don’t see why they wouldn’t allow it cuz I have no other options

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod8
                    ccsmod8 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello there –

                    Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on.

                    It sounds like you have a lot of experience dealing with child protective services and being placed in different homes. It’s really unfortunate that the second home that you were placed into didn’t work out for you either. It might be because of that reason your caseworker is hesitate that thing will work out for you if you were placed with your boyfriend and his family. It’s to our knowledge that they try to keep the families together when they can so they might be revaluating the situation and figuring out where you can be placed next. If you don’t have any options, something that you might want to explore is seeing if there is any local TLP (transitional living programs) that you can be placed in. Their programs are designed to help youth be successful and gain life-skills in order to gain independence. A lot of youth go into these programs that also don’t have stable housing options so that might be an option for you as well.

                    It sounds like you might some specific questions that you want to ask us or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us.

                • #14
                  Hello My name is Ethan and I live in Arizona at the moment and I don't feel safe or comfortable at my Home. I live with my Mom and Her boyfriend and they have had rough start to their relationship around 2-3 years ago. This was the first time I got the feeling I wasn't safe. I have been hit and threatened by my mom multiple times that she would hit me in some type of way if I did something wrong. I have had problems with depression and have had a really rough history with my mom. I thought that I would be able to last until i was 18 to move out and get away but now am starting to doubt that. My school performance has dropped and my emotion health and physical health has also has been taking a steady decline ever since about 1 year ago. I am constantly being yelled at by my mom and I don't have anybody in the house that would protect me if i wear to get beat up extremely bad at the house. That's why I've been thinking of running away or possibly moving to my Grandmas and Grandpas house as they have always been there for me. In fact I had lived with them for about 7 years . Not to mention we just had a pretty bad argument today that could have gotten South really fast. I really need a response ASAP. Please help me with this.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod13
                    ccsmod13 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,
                    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way.

                    You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe your grandparents or another trusted adult could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom.

                    The second way would be to make a report to child protective services since you mentioned your safety being a concern. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

                    Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

                    Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

                    Be safe,
                    NRS

                • #15
                  I’m 14 and I don’t think i’m safe staying in the house my mom has put a camera in my room to watch me she threatens to hit me and has done it before i’m scared of her my dad does not live with me he is in a different state but he isn’t a very good option either I have self harmed before and tried to kill myself as well I feel like i’m in a nightmare as my mom is just so switchy with her moods being mad or happy towards me it is hard to get my point to her and talking to her scares me i’ve been wondering how to leave the house for a bit and even asked some of my friends if I could stay with them it’s all no answers though because it is a pandemic I might contact my school about this but I don’t think cps really needs to be involved if they contact them

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod5
                    ccsmod5 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,

                    Thank you for reaching out and sharing a little about what’s been going on with us. We understand how difficult it can be to take that step. It sounds like things have been pretty overwhelming at home and you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
                    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
                    If you were to contact your school about this, they would likely have a school counselor talk to you first and try to help or gather a little bit more information about the situation in order to help you as best they can. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. By contacting Child Help you would not automatically be making a report, feel free to reach out to them with any questions you might have if you are not ready to make an abuse report.
                    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
                    We hope to hear from you soon.
                    Be safe and stay strong,
                    NRS
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