Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Ineed help

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Ineed help

    Hi,
    I am 17 and have had a really difficult time with my family. When i was in 7th grade i got sexually harassed at the mall behind a shed by a guy and then hospitolized for trying to kill myself and had many rumors about me. The police were notified but i didn't want to press charges because he was someone i knew and i thought it was a missunderstanding. Then when i came back and went back to school while walking home i got raped but the same indiviudal. I didn't notify the police for 3 months and when i wanted to press charges i didn't have any evidence according to the police it was a he said she said investigaion and he told them he would use my emotions against me since he was my friend. I was diagnosed with bi polar and depression my mom has it also. My mom told me that the reason i was raped beccause i wore to many tight pants. My mom is a recovering alcoholic and we live in a house with my grandparents and my grandmother is a dictator of the whole house. Bascially nothing gets done unless i do it and then my mom claims that i do nothing. My parents are divorced since i wasa 5 and i use to go bacck and forth every other week but ended up moving in with my dad when my mom was drinking. In october of last year my dad sent me back here and i always have to try to talk to him and we fight because he never wants to see me so he can spend time with his controlling wife. Now i am going to 18 in 3 months and i am graduated from an online school. i have no licesne because my parents wouldn't sign off of it but my dad gave me money and i bought a car but my mom put it in her name and won't teach me how to drive she just uses it. I am really tired of living in the same neighborhood i got raped in and i'm tired of no one caring about what i want and what makes me happy. My Fiance of 6 months sleep at the house alot and even agrees that what my family does in this house is disrecpetful and i'm the only one who contributes. I did therapy and weve done family conseling and nothing has every fixed this because they act fake like nothing is wrong when other people are around. My Fiance and i have a plan to move out in febuary with his mom because she invited me but he lives with his dad and stepmom now and they aren't that close and he doens't feel comfortable asking if i can stay there in the meantime. I have no job because I have no near busses and transportation from my house that i am at now. My mom uses everything to her advantage. I am huge on equality but nothing is equal here. I am not aloud to sleep late but she is. I'm not aloud not to do anything for a couple hours but she is and if i don't do something right away i will get yelled at. I am extremly mature but i have been crying every night since last october and i don't know what else i can do but give up. I am not suicidal but i am running out of options with living here i would rather live on the street. IF i bring someone in the house like a professional she will make it look like this is all my fault and there is nothing wrong. Any resources or information would be really helpful i am in Pennlsyvania and will be 18 in october and my boyfriend said i could live with his nana if it i was kicked out or alloud to leave. She says i can leave but i don't think she means it beacuse i have left and she has called me back home and i would come home but things would go right back to normal. She isn't the type to call the police and report a runaway but my grandmother is so i am curious as to what you think the police would do. My mom lets me do what i want but whenever i am home which is almost always my mother yells at whatever i do or repond to her even if there is no attitude. and if i try to do my own thing and not respond to her i get yelled at also i feel like there is no way out because in febuary when i leave and her and i are still on bad terms the car i paid for all by myself with her name in the title she might not give me. please please help me.

  • #2
    RE: Ineed help

    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing with us some of what has been going on. We are so sorry to hear about the mistreatment from your family and also from your friend. No one deserves to be sexually assaulted and then made to feel that there is nothing that can be done about it. It sounds like you are trying to figure out what is your best option and wanting any resources that might be helpful. It also sounds like you are trying to do something about your situation and we are happy to hear that. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

    You asked some really great questions. We are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms what could happen if you decided to leave. Generally, you are not an adult until you turn 18. If you were to leave the house before then, your legal guardian would have the option of filing a runaway report. Running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This means that you cannot do it because of your age, not because it is against the law. If you are found then you will just be brought back home. However, anyone that you decide to stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal offense and the severity of that is different in every state.
    You mentioned some key points, such as you don’t feel that your mom would involve the police but you are afraid that your grandmother might. Generally your legal guardian would be the one to make that report. We do not know your situation as best as you do, however we would like to mention that if your grandma convinced your mom to file a report then she could do that. However, if your mom does not file a report then the police are unaware of what is going on and no harboring a runaway charge can be filed.

    Another thing we would like to mention is that you stated that you will turn 18 in 3 months. 17 is a tricky age and can be considered a grey area in many states. This means that sometimes police will treat 17 year olds that do not want to return home differently. Some will say that you have to return home until you turn 18, while others may say that as long as you are in a safe place and can support yourself then they will not force you to return home. You mentioned that you have graduated from school, that is a great accomplishment and that might be a factor in not forcing you to return home. You have a couple options in finding a more direct and legal response. One option is to contact your local police in PA and ask them how they would handle a 17 year old in your situation. You do not have to provide any identifying information when calling your local police. If you do not feel comfortable contact them, if you call us on our hotline then we would be able to make that call for you from our phones so that it is not tracked back to you. We are confidential so this is something that we can do without giving them any information. Another option you have, since you had provided us with your state, is to contact these legal aid resources and see if they can best help you with some of your questions

    -A Safe Place Agency North Warren, PA: (800) 338-3460 / (814) 726-1271
    -Berks Women in Crisis Agency Reading, PA: (610) 372-9540 / (610) 373-1206
    -Neighborhood Legal Services Association Agency Pittsburgh, PA: (412) 255-6700

    These might be some places that you can call to see if they can assist you with the legality of it. If these are not in your area you can always ask them if they have resources in your city. A lot of times these agencies have a resource and referral list that they can pull from.

    It sounds like you have been going through a lot of things on your own. The mistreatment and rape of your friend is one of them, and we are so sorry to hear that you have not been able to receive support from those that you live with. We would like to offer you RAINN at 1800-656-4673. This is a hotline that you can call and talk about what has been going on, they are there to support you in dealing with what had happened. No one deserves to have this happen to them, to be assaulted, raped, and then told that there is nothing that can be done. It must have been hard for you to have this happen to you by someone that you thought trusted, it was a friend. Thank you again for sharing this with us, we hope that RAINN will be able to support you if you ever need it.

    You also mentioned that your mom is a recovering alcoholic. It must be difficult for you to have to handle this when you come home. It sounds like you are doing what you can to make your situation better for you. We would like to offer Families Anonymous, which is a hotline for those who have family members that are suffering with alcoholism or recovering alcoholics. You can reach them at 1800-736-9805.

    We are glad to hear that you have been able to find support with your fiancé and his family. It sounds like they want what is best for you and are willing and able to help you achieve that. You had mentioned that if you were kicked out that you would go to his family members, Again it is great that you have them that you can turn to for support. We would also like to mention that up until you turn 18 your parents have to provide for you. If they do not, such as kicking you out, then you as the minor have the right to file a neglect report with your state agency. You can call Child Help USA at 1800-422-4453 to get more information on that as well as make a neglect report if that happened.

    Another thing to be aware of is that essentially a neglect report and a runaway report are official documents. If you were to get kicked out, you file a neglect report, and then your mom attempts to file a runaway report, the police may not allow her to do so since she kicked you out. It can come to which report was filed first. That is something to be aware of.

    We hoped this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can call us on our hotline or chat with us on our website. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      RE: Ineed help

      Hello,

      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing with us some of what has been going on. We are so sorry to hear about the mistreatment from your family and also from your friend. No one deserves to be sexually assaulted and then made to feel that there is nothing that can be done about it. It sounds like you are trying to figure out what is your best option and wanting any resources that might be helpful. It also sounds like you are trying to do something about your situation and we are happy to hear that. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

      You asked some really great questions. We are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms what could happen if you decided to leave. Generally, you are not an adult until you turn 18. If you were to leave the house before then, your legal guardian would have the option of filing a runaway report. Running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This means that you cannot do it because of your age, not because it is against the law. If you are found then you will just be brought back home. However, anyone that you decide to stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal offense and the severity of that is different in every state.
      You mentioned some key points, such as you don’t feel that your mom would involve the police but you are afraid that your grandmother might. Generally your legal guardian would be the one to make that report. We do not know your situation as best as you do, however we would like to mention that if your grandma convinced your mom to file a report then she could do that. However, if your mom does not file a report then the police are unaware of what is going on and no harboring a runaway charge can be filed.

      Another thing we would like to mention is that you stated that you will turn 18 in 3 months. 17 is a tricky age and can be considered a grey area in many states. This means that sometimes police will treat 17 year olds that do not want to return home differently. Some will say that you have to return home until you turn 18, while others may say that as long as you are in a safe place and can support yourself then they will not force you to return home. You mentioned that you have graduated from school, that is a great accomplishment and that might be a factor in not forcing you to return home. You have a couple options in finding a more direct and legal response. One option is to contact your local police in PA and ask them how they would handle a 17 year old in your situation. You do not have to provide any identifying information when calling your local police. If you do not feel comfortable contact them, if you call us on our hotline then we would be able to make that call for you from our phones so that it is not tracked back to you. We are confidential so this is something that we can do without giving them any information. Another option you have, since you had provided us with your state, is to contact these legal aid resources and see if they can best help you with some of your questions

      -A Safe Place Agency North Warren, PA: (800) 338-3460 / (814) 726-1271
      -Berks Women in Crisis Agency Reading, PA: (610) 372-9540 / (610) 373-1206
      -Neighborhood Legal Services Association Agency Pittsburgh, PA: (412) 255-6700

      These might be some places that you can call to see if they can assist you with the legality of it. If these are not in your area you can always ask them if they have resources in your city. A lot of times these agencies have a resource and referral list that they can pull from.

      It sounds like you have been going through a lot of things on your own. The mistreatment and rape of your friend is one of them, and we are so sorry to hear that you have not been able to receive support from those that you live with. We would like to offer you RAINN at 1800-656-4673. This is a hotline that you can call and talk about what has been going on, they are there to support you in dealing with what had happened. No one deserves to have this happen to them, to be assaulted, raped, and then told that there is nothing that can be done. It must have been hard for you to have this happen to you by someone that you thought trusted, it was a friend. Thank you again for sharing this with us, we hope that RAINN will be able to support you if you ever need it.

      You also mentioned that your mom is a recovering alcoholic. It must be difficult for you to have to handle this when you come home. It sounds like you are doing what you can to make your situation better for you. We would like to offer Families Anonymous, which is a hotline for those who have family members that are suffering with alcoholism or recovering alcoholics. You can reach them at 1800-736-9805.

      We are glad to hear that you have been able to find support with your fiancé and his family. It sounds like they want what is best for you and are willing and able to help you achieve that. You had mentioned that if you were kicked out that you would go to his family members, Again it is great that you have them that you can turn to for support. We would also like to mention that up until you turn 18 your parents have to provide for you. If they do not, such as kicking you out, then you as the minor have the right to file a neglect report with your state agency. You can call Child Help USA at 1800-422-4453 to get more information on that as well as make a neglect report if that happened.

      Another thing to be aware of is that essentially a neglect report and a runaway report are official documents. If you were to get kicked out, you file a neglect report, and then your mom attempts to file a runaway report, the police may not allow her to do so since she kicked you out. It can come to which report was filed first. That is something to be aware of.

      We hoped this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can call us on our hotline or chat with us on our website. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #4
        Hey can my parents keep me at home when I am 25 and I want to move out ??

        Comment


        • #5
          re:

          Hey there,

          Thanks for your question. Generally speaking, once you are 18 years old you are considered a legal adult. Therefore, there is no legal reason why your parents would be able to require you to stay at home beyond 18.

          Good luck with your future plans!

          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment

          Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
          Auto-Saved
          x
          Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
          x
          or Allowed Filetypes: jpg, jpeg, png, gif, webp
          x
          x
          Working...
          X