Is it illegal to runaway when you're 14? what can happen?

[Guest]

I am 14 years old and I lived in Omaha Nebraska till today I moved states to Arkansas with my mom and sister. Me and my sister didn’t want this because we have nothing over here and we had a future over there in Omaha. My sister is 17. We have family and close friends that were willing to take us in but my mom just wanted to move and forced us to. Me and my sister have been depressed and sad because were leaving so much behind. I need help what can I do? I want to go back where I grew up and me and my sister want to run away back to Omaha.

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your mom and the move. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

my mom recently drug tested me and i came back positive. my family has a history of marijuana use and most of my older cousins use the substance. they offered me some and i said yes because they said it could help with my anxiety. my mom is super extremely mad at me but we have family staying over right now so she isn’t saying anything. she has kicked me out before because my therapist talked to her about how i can’t ever sleep and she just blew up on me. she’s extremely verbally abusive and manipulative as well. i want to runaway because i’m sure she’s gonna beat me and kick me out. i do not want to deal with any of this. my parents also recently got divorced and i no longer talk to my father but my mom tells me about all of her problems she has in her life and she expects me to be in a perfect mood with everyone at all times after she tells me all about how bad of a person my dad is and how she can’t pay bills. i understand her and i like that she tells me things huh i never know what to expect from her. she’s treating me super well one second and the next second she’s blowing up on me calling me a disappointment and many other things. not to mention that i try my best to not let my younger sibling suffer through listening to my parents argue amd their manipulation. i truly am tired amd she’s gonna kick me out and get the police involved because of my drug use. i told her that i had only done it once so she wouldn’t get as mad. please keep in mind that i am not addicted to marijuana it is just something that helps with my anxiety. i don’t smoke at all seconds of the day and i don’t smoke smoke everyday either. i only do it when my anxiety is super bad and i’m gonna have an anxiety attack. one of my cousins wants me to let her come with me but im not sure if it is smart. she hasn’t done anything wrong and her mom does not deserve to worry about her. she also smokes but rarely. she said she wants to go with me because she is in a similar situation but her mom did not drug test her. i really need advise on what to do. i want to runaway because i want my mom to see what it would be like without me because i do so much in the youse and it seems like no one in the family cares and they only care about my mistakes. please help me by giving me advise

[ccsmod15]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear you are in this tough situation, and we hope to help in the best way we can.
It sounds like you are enduring some serious emotional abuse at home, and feel in danger of physical abuse by Mom after your other family members leave. We want you to know that you do not deserve to be treated like this. You should be safe and comfortable at home, and it does not sound like this is the case. You can always report what is going on at home by contacting Child Protective Services in your area. We can help you locate this number if you call us (1800-RUN-AWAY) or instant message us (1800runaway.org). If you have questions or concerns about abuse reporting, we encourage you to reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. If you find yourself in immediate danger of abuse or neglect (Mom kicking you out), you can always call 911.
It sounds like you really want to leave your home, and like your cousin might come with you. It is important you know that if you leave the home without parental consent, and without an active abuse report, you are liable to be brought back home by police, if you Mom decides to report you as a runaway. It is not illegal to run away, but the police will make a good effort to find you if they are called.
You are incredibly brave to have reached out to us. You might find it helpful during this tough time to enlist the support of the family members that are staying with you. Perhaps they can advocate on your behalf and ensure Mom does not hurt you. Or they can request to be able to safely keep you for some time so that you are protected from Mom’s volatile behaviors. You should never have to endure any kind of abuse, physical or emotional.
We hope you found some of this information useful. If you need something more, please call us. We are here to listen, here to help.
Stay safe and stay strong out there.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I’m in a bit of a predicament. I’m 13 turning 14 in 3 weeks and my dad had died when I had just turned 8 years old. Ever since then my mom has been a wreck which I understood considering the loss of my father. They were married and they were really happy together until he was diagnosed with a lung disease that killed him in a time span of 3 years. My mom would start to hit me a lot and picked up her smoking again. She goes through at least one pack of cigarettes everyday, and spends a lot of money on it (which we don’t have and are currently struggling due to financial problems). I have told a close friend about it and have been close to running away a numerous amount of times. He always says that I can run to his house and I can talk with his family and then after blowing off steam his parents would take me home to settle things with my mother. About 3 hasta since my dad died she had started dating this guy named Miguel who is still currently with us now. He’s always protected me all the time and stood up for me when my mom would call me names saying that she hated me and she would call me a **********. One day I did something which was completely dumb and I take full responsibility for my actions, but I pretended to drink and recorded it and posted it on Snapchat. One of my classmates viewed the video I uploaded and had contacted administration about it. Afterwards my mom was also contacted. Shortly after, she picked me up from my friends house because I would go home with her and her mom because her job was far from my school and had to have someone pick me up. After she picked me up she started screaming which I expected because of what I did. She grabbed my hair and slammed it against the car. I’m not sure what the word for this specific part is, but it is the stick in the front seat where you are able to move the car from reverse, park, neutral, and drive. She was banging my head against it with the windows down calling me the b word saying she hated me. We came across a red light and she stopped then grabbed my hair harder and slammed it harder against that stick. I had a headache for 4 days. Someone saw and heard her saying those things so someone called the cops as other people just started and I could see in their eyes they felt bad but they still continued to drive. This man who stopped my mom and got out his car was arguing with her because he was watching what she was doing to me since we had stopped at the red light. He threatened to call the cops and she said screamed and I quote “Go ahead I don’t fing care!” After I got home about 5-10 minutes later the cops rang the doorbell and I told the officer what she had done and I also said that the cause of it was my fault but she blew it out of proportion. The cop had left after asking for our names. Ever since then it’s been getting worse. She calles me names slams my doors forces me to eat when I end up throwing it up because I am so angry I couldn’t even swallow the food. She had left me home alone today for about 45 minutes and I do online school due to the pandemic. I’m showering so I am unable to hear her so she starts banging on my door and I start crying and screaming thinking someone her entered the house and then I heard her voice so I immediately knew it was her but I was still shaking because I was terrified. At the time, it was 1:18pm and I have to be back to my computer at 1:30. I was hurrying up and 5 minutes later my mom was screaming at me to get back banging my doors and had her fist over me screaming at the top of her lungs telling me my room was a mess and so was my bathroom. That is literally the reason WHY she was screaming. That stupid reason. In my school I get about 10-15 assignments daily and she knows that because I show her my assignments. I never have time on the weekdays or weekends because we also get homework and classwork on the weekends as well. (Which she also knows). I am also failing school with 2 F’s in Math and Science. For the past week I have been trying my absolute hardest (and I always have) to bring up those grades. I wake up at 7am and don’t go to sleep until 1 or 2am doing homework for that day and missing assignments at the same time. I’m always in a rush and I suffer from severe anxiety and depression because of what happened to me as a child, what happens at school (because of bullying), and what’s going on now. Not only do I have that but I haha a lot of family problems and loved ones getting sick and dying every 1-2 months. Every single day I stay in this house it gets worse and I feel like the walls are caving in on me. I feel so sad and angry in my own house. If I take naps she has a problem with it but if I don’t sleep it’s the phones fault. My phone and my friends are the only thing helping me right now. They understand me, and when she finds out I tell people she takes my electronics away from me. She’s on a new medication that helps with her addiction to smoking and she uses it as a excuse for her actions and why she’s mad all the time when even when she wasn’t on it she was still like this. I have nobody I feel so alone and sad 24/7 I cry myself to sleep most nights wishing things would change in my house. I want to have a good relationship with my mother like I used to but she doesn’t meet me half way. I try so hard in school and at home but it’s never good enough for her. She always says it is, but then never appreciates the good things I do.

[ccsmod13]

Hi, thank you for posting here on the National Runaway Safeline Forum. You are brave for reaching out to talk about everything that you have been going through. I want to remind you that you are not alone and that you matter. It must have been difficult losing your dad and your other family members, but you are strong for continuing to persevere through these losses and everything else that has happened.

Everyone copes with loss and stress in their own way, including doing things like smoking. Although you may wish that your mother would quit smoking, you cannot control what she chooses to do. However, there is no excuse for her take out any of her anger or frustration on you. You never deserve to be hit or called names. These things are abusive and are not acceptable. One thing that you may want to consider is filing an abuse report about what has been happening. A resource that could help you with this is Childhelp. They can provide you with information about abuse reporting and can support you through the process if you choose to file a report. You can call their hotline at (800) 422-4453 or go to their website at www.childhelp.org/.

You mentioned the possibility of running away to go to your friend’s house for a little bit before returning home. Something you may want to think about is how your mom will react to you leaving. Although we aren’t legal experts, running away before you are legally considered an adult is a status offense. This means that while it is not allowed, you would not be charged with committing a crime. If you choose to runway, your mom has the option to file a runaway report. This means that if the police find you, they could take you back home. They could also potentially charge your friend’s parents with harboring a runaway if you choose to go and stay with them.

It’s good that you have friends that you can trust. Having supportive people around can be a good resource to help you cope with what is happening. It sounds like there is a lot going on at school, both with your grades and with other students bullying you. You show a lot of determination in continuing to work hard to get good grades even when you are struggling with other things in your life. One option that you have available to you is to reach out to an adult at your school that you trust. This could be a teacher, a counselor, a coach, or another person that you would be comfortable talking to. You could talk to them about what you are struggling with, including your grades and the bullying that you are experiencing. You also have the option to talk to them about how things at home have been going and how you are doing mentally. They will be able to provide you with additional support and guidance. You said that you are struggling with depression and anxiety. If you contact our hotline directly, we would be happy to look into counseling resources in your area who you could talk to about how you have been feeling. You could also reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness to talk about how you have been feeling and to find more resources to help you cope. Their hotline is 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) and their website is www.nami.org.

You are strong for reaching out to seek support. If you would like to chat more about your situation, you can contact us 24/7 at our number 1-800-786-2929 or through our live chat under the “Chat” tab on our website https://www.1800runaway.org/. Stay safe.

[Guest]

Hi I’m 14 and I’m sick and tried of my mom treating me like I trash so I’m running away when she leaves too the farm today all she does is yells at me we can never have a normal conversation without her yelling and I get scared and I have in the past try too commit suicide

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It’s a big decision to run away, so it’s very smart to find support. It seems that you and your mom haven’t had the best relationship, and it’s probably frustrating to not be able to feel safe or treated respectfully at home. Your safety is the most important thing. If you start to think about suicide, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support. The service is confidential and free.

We’re not legal experts, but it’s generally not illegal to run away. It’s considered a status offense, which just means that you left without your mom’s permission. Each police department decides how they handle runaways. You can always call your local non-emergency police department anonymously and ask how they handle runaways. Depending on what state you live in, there may also be harboring laws in effect. These laws essentially say that it may be illegal to knowingly provide shelter for a runaway. Before you choose to run, there are some other things to consider, like where you’ll stay, getting food, earning money, etc. In addition to help planning and providing resources, we can also identify and explore other options with you. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat at 1800runaway.org. We’re here 24/7 and confidential. Best of luck!

[Guest]

Im 14 and School is just to much for me to take. I have tried to run away before but never had the courage to do it considering my parents. I cant take this life anymore I was physicaly abused when I was younger and my father left me for another woman. The abuse has stopped for at least 3 years but I feel so stressed and I have tried talking to my parents about it but it never seems to help me. When Im outside alone I feel free and ready for anything I need to RUN I need to get away! And all this politics going on is also stressing me the ******** out. Whats up with the police in texas? Will they come search for me? and how do I get to a shelter?

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out, we know it can be difficult to take that first step. We hope to help as best we can. You mentioned being abused and it having stopped about 3 years ago, we want to share this resource with you in case you ever feel unsafe. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. You deserve to be in a home where you feel safe. If you feel unsafe and feel the need to run away from home, we can help find shelters and resources in your area.
If you are under the age of 18 your parents may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.
If you would like to talk in more detail, reach out to us via chat or phone call.
Stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

man i really felt that g I'm 14 and my living situation is exactly like yours I'm leaving soon I'm planning it out f**k out that would be my answer to everyone as well if your going thought this just leave to a mates or something reach out ;]

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for posting and so sorry to hear you're going through a tough situation at home. If you decide to leave, the most important thing is making a safety plan: having a safe place to stay with people you trust, a plan for attending school, and making sure your basic needs for food, health care and clothing. If you'd like to talk more about your situation and brainstorm some options, we are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the chat feature at www.1800runaway.org

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

hello. I am a 14 year old girl and I absolutely hate my family. Let me explain. as of now I live with my siblings and mom. My mom got mad at me because i supposedly ignored her and disrespected her and she said and I quote "You are no longer my child, don't touch my stuff, don't even open the the fridge. and i better not see you try. and don't talk to me, we are now strangers. I don't care if you runaway you can go right ahead. I don't care. don't say anything back, we are now strangers." and that was the last conversation we had and she wasn't bluffing either. she took my phone (I'm using my school computer to write this) and she is now planning to take my computer. a couple weeks back she took my toys and computer. although to most people those don't mean anything but to me those were my only escape from reality because my life was mentality draining and i was always mentally abused by the things they did. I was able to go on for this long by just eating at school and at home i would look around for quarters to buy some chips at the store. but as of right now its Saturday, I ran out of money and I am absolutely hungry. there's nothing i can do because my siblings are my mothers little lap dogs and i honestly can't take it anymore. no one here cares for me and i know this because i self- harmed and accidently forgot to cover up and no one asked or even batted an eye. i never had anyone to talk to because if i told my sibling they would've told my mom getting me in trouble and my mom never listens or even bothers to understand what im going through. i did many attempts but failed all of them and even when it was clear i attempted and again no one batted an eye. i am sick and tired of all of this. and i made up my mind about two things and i decided to accept what ever shall come first. i shall either 1. off my self from this planet, or 2. runaway. and i have been thinking of No.1 for the longest but haven't because of my friends but when all is said and done, the personality that they like about me is just a fake one and no where near my real one and it's an absolute mental drain keeping that façade up. i don't CPS because the mental abuse isn't visible to others because they are so good at hiding it. i need to saved out of here and taken away from that biatch because if i don't get taken away swiftly and calmly i am seriously going to kill myself or those bastards. i want out of this family and i am leaving it one way or another and i'm not afraid to go to jail. i hate it here and will do anything to leave. i know of the dangers of running away at such a young age, and honestly would rather get Forced into prostitution, get kidnapping, getting raped, and assaulted than staying here. please i beg of you if theres a way to get me outta here without biening brought back by the police please by all means tell me. cuz of right now i just found candy and i'm eating that to at least get rid or some of my hunger. thank you,

[ccsmod10]

We are really glad that you reached out to us. It sounds like you have been on the receiving end of a lot of disrespectful mistreatment lately, which is not what you deserve. Hopefully this post can be the start of something new, because you (you are in the real, authentic you-- not the facade you) clearly have a lot to offer and deserve to be in relationships that support that, rather than dragging you down.

If your mom has been restricting you from eating, that very much qualifies as neglect, which is a reportable form of abuse. If you have anyone at school (teacher, counselor, etc.) that you like / trust, it might be worth telling them (which we know can be scary). Otherwise, you can contact us (you can live chat us from our website 1800runaway.org) to report it with you/for you. You can also look up child abuse reporting for your state and call them yourself if you feel comfortable, though it can be good to have an ally with you. It might result in folks from Child Protective Services investigating what's been going on at home. You/we can also contact law enforcement or your school. You do not deserve to be hungry, and we can find ways to fix it.

Also, it's not silly to be feeling the pain of her taking away your toys+computer. When you're in a stressful environment, having healthy/creative ways to relieve yourself from that is super important.

Because you mentioned self harm and suicidal thoughts, we want to give you a couple resources. We know that self-harm is almost always a byproduct of deep emotional pain, and we want to be able to help as much as we can to help you find safety in how you work through this.

This is a list of things you can do when you get the impulse to SH: https://www.firstpersonplural.org.uk...-self-harm.pdf
And this is the website for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

If possible, please contact us again. We want to help find a way for you to get to a place where you feel safe and set up to thrive.

[Guest]

I'm 15 in an abusive household and I want to run away. I try calling the cops but my mom lies about it and the cops won't do anything about it. I've tried to run away before but I just kept getting put back in the household. I'm almost to the point of trying suicide. what do I do?

[ccsmod10]

We are thankful you reached out to us; what you have been through sounds truly painful, frustrating, and disheartening. It makes sense if you are feeling stuck, hopeless, or like things will never get better. When the people responsible for your wellbeing fail you over and over again, it's very easy for mental wellbeing to worsen.

It's not uncommon for police to respond that way, unfortunately. Even when it isn't the right place for you to be, they often prioritize keeping the family together over letting you stay the place that makes you feel better/safer.

One option is to call and report the abuse you've been experiencing. If you want to do it yourself, you can look up the child abuse reporting number for your state; you can also text chat us (1800runaway.org) or call us at 1-800-786-2929 and we can do so on your behalf.

It might also be worthwhile to talk with someone you trust about it. Talking about it with an adult (like a counselor, other family member, teacher, etc.) might create more actual physical change, while talking about it with a peer (in-person or online friend that you like + trust) can help provide ongoing emotional support to help cope when things are tough.

The way you are feeling sounds like a justified byproduct of your environment, and the good news is that it isn't permanent. You deserve to be in an environment where you can thrive. You don't have to figure this out on your own. Please reach out to us again and we can talk about things more.

[Guest]

i want to runaway and i am 14 in auckland new zealand my dad always emotionally abuses me and has hit me in the pass but i dont want to get in trouble or be put in foster care, can someone please let me know what will happen?

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you want to run away because your dad is emotionally abusive and has been physically abusive in the past. You do not deserve to be treated this way. Unfortunately, our knowledge of running away is based on laws in the US, and we do not know how it is handled in New Zealand. A resource that might be able to help you is: https://childhelplineinternational.org/helplines/. Other options can be to talk to a trusted adult like a friend’s parent or an adult at school to see if they can help you. You deserve to be somewhere you feel safe.
Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

im 13 and in a strange situation. i want to be put into another family but bc i am already adopted i cant. my dad is verbally abusive and has threatened to hit me a couple times. i never spoke up ab anything until recently. my dad hasnt hit me yet but i feel like if he does maybe that'll help ppl realize i need to get out of this house. i want to run away but i have nowhere to go and not much money. i think if i can wait until im 15 maybe i can try for emancipation. i rlly dont know what to do i have been so unhappy here for three years and i feel so trapped. ik u may not be able to help ig i jus wanted to get it off my chest since i cant rlly talk ab it here.

[ccsmod15]

Hi, we are grateful that you reached out to us. It sounds like your dad has been causing you emotional and verbal abuse that may lead to physical abuse in the future. We want to let you know that you do not deserve to be treated like that- it is unacceptable and we are so sorry to hear you've been dealing with this at home. One option is to call and report the abuse you've been experiencing. If you want to do it yourself, you can look up the child abuse reporting number for your state; you can also text chat us (1800runaway.org) or call us at 1-800-786-2929 and we can do so on your behalf.It might also be worthwhile to talk with someone you trust about it. Talking about it with an adult (like a counselor, other family member, teacher, etc.) might create more actual physical change, while talking about it with a peer (in-person or online friend that you like + trust) can help provide ongoing emotional support to help cope when things are tough.

Secondly, it seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you may feel like running away. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parents may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with, may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law in your county and laws regarding the emancipation process, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. If you are looking for legal aid help in your area to see if there are other options for you, a great resource is contacting United Way by calling 211. United Way is a free and confidential service available 24/7 that you can contact to find local resources in your area.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I dont have acess to calling ive ran away from home and im 13 idk what to do

[ccsmod3]

Hi, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you have run away and are wondering what to do. We generally recommend finding a safe place to go, so if there is a family member or a friend you can reach out to, otherwise police can also help find you a safe place to go. You mention not having access to call, but we do have a chat platform at 1800runaway.org if you are able to reach out on that. We can help more with having a conversation with you and can try to come up with some options of places to go or if you want to talk more about why you ran away, we are here 24/7. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS