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Is it illegal to runaway when you're 14? what can happen?

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  • Im 14, and I HATE my mom and younger sister. My mom and dad divorsed and he is in prison (For reasons i dont want to explain) my mom is ALWAYS gone because of work and when shes home we never talk because I never want to, i know she will judge me and wont look at me the same, she yells at me for the dumbest reasons and then acts like i WONT get mad when she says crap like that. AND ITS ALWAYS MY FALT!! LIKE WHAT THE HELL! YOUR DUMBASS SHIRT BEING MISSING ISNT MY DUMBASS PROBLEM TO FIND! GET OFF YOUR ASS AND LOOK FOR IT! My lil sis HATES my GUTS and yells at me saying that everything is my fault basicly. I cut because of them. I self harm because of them and im insane, depressed, have anxiety, trust issues, ALL because of my family. my friends i cant talk to so im done takeing my familys bull and am running away.. but can they make me go back home if i run away? plz help..
    Last edited by ccsmod10; 07-25-2018, 10:59 PM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for reaching out to NRS via our online forum service. It sounds like you are having a lot of trouble at home. You deserve to live somewhere you feel welcomed and loved and reaching out to us for help is a very brave thing to do.
      You mentioned that sometimes you self harm because of the situation. A great resource when you have these feelings is To Write Love On Her Arms. Their website is https://twloha.com/ and can also be reached by texting TWLOHA to 741-741 . The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available as well at 1-800-273-8255 if you ever have feelings of hurting yourself. Talking your feelings out about your situation at home with a friend, family member, or someone you trust is another great way to cope. You should call 911 if you ever have feelings of hurting others.
      If you decided to run away and your mom filed a runaway report with the police, the police would be obligated to return you home if they locate you. Additionally, anyone you are staying with may be charged with harboring a runaway. At NRS, we would be happy to answer any additional questions you have about running away, help devise a plan for your safety, or talk through your situation at home. We are available 24/7 at 1-800-RUN-AWAY (786-2929) and are completely confidential. We hope this helped and wish you the best of luck with everything.

  • Im only 14
    but i want to run away from my father and his girlfriend could I go live with my mother
    my father puts his hands on me like he is fighting a grown man and yells and curse at me for nothing he tellz me im a diapointment and that i should be in a foster home but he wont give my mother custody over me eventhough he dosent want me

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello thank you for contacting the NRS. We are sorry to hear about you situation and will do what we can to help. You said your father hit’s you – it’s never okay for anyone to treat you badly like that, especially your family members. You deserve to feel loved, safe, and comfortable while you’re with your family. You could contact Child Protective Services and express how you don't feel safe at home. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource for exploring your options and getting information on how to transfer custody. We say this because if you are able to prove the abuse that you are experiencing, your mother might have a case to try and win guardianship of you.
      Again, no one has the right to say awful things to you or harm you. It could be a good idea to find things that can get you out of the house and your mind off of things, like joining a club at school. Additionally, it could be helpful to find someone to confide in about what you are experiencing. A school counselor could be someone that can provide support and resources if you needed in the future.
      You’re always welcome to reach out to us if you have questions or need help brainstorming what to do. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will support you and do our best to share information that will help you stay safe. You can reach us by phone 24/7 at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) or via chat every day from 4:30pm – 11:30pm CST. Stay safe!

      -NRS

  • I know I don't have the worst life in the world but it sure does feel like it. my mom is never home and we live with my grandma and she treats me like s**t and I am paranoid to go to school because we get like 20 bomb threats a day and I carry a 4in pocket knife with me and the resource officer always stares at me and I just don't want to be here anymore at my house or alive

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. It sounds like things are really stressful at both home and school. We are here to support you!
      It must be so lonely at home with your mom away a lot and your grandma mistreating you. Perhaps there are other adults you can talk to: a school counselor, teacher, neighbor, friend's parent, or family friend? We know you mentioned school seeming somewhat dangerous, but perhaps there is something you can get involved in there or in the community to give you more time outside the house: sports, clubs, youth group, community center, churches, etc.
      We are concerned about your safety as you mentioned not wanting to be alive. With so much going on, feeling overwhelmed and like it's all too much makes sense. Many people feel life can become too much at times. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is one resource for that: 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Their phone number and live chat are both 24/7/365.
      You may also consider finding a counselor or therapist to speak with. We can help you find some local resources as well. Call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also find therapists, support groups, etc nationwide at SAMHSA: samhsa.gov or 1-877-726-4727.
      It sounds like things at school can get pretty scary. You should be able to feel safe at school and it seems like it isn't a safe place right now. Is switching schools an option? We do offer conference calling to parents if you would like help having that conversation with your mom. Call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929. Speaking to an adult at school about some of your fears may be an option too.

      We are so glad you reached out today. It shows a lot of strength and courage in a really scary and lonely situation. Thank you for posting and call or live chat with us directly anytime!

      Best of luck!
      Last edited by ccsmod15; 08-30-2018, 08:49 PM.

  • Me and my boyfriend are thinking of running away we have mostly everything planed out. We started dating and then I have to move over a 1 and half away. We have been together for a while and it hurts physically, mentally, and emotionally to be away from him. He feels the same way we need to be together. And don't tell me to talk to my parents to see if we can see each other been there done that. I already tired. I tried every option I could think of the thing is I am almost 15 and he just turned 16. We both live in Georgia. We just wanna be together and that's it, it seriously hurts to be away from him and he feels the same way. So we came up with a plan to run away. I just wanna know like about the police and everything. Like I know it takes 24 hours to allow the parents to fill a missing person’s report and everything so I know we would have a little head start. But like would they plaster our faces all over GA. Like what would the police do? And stuff like that. We don't really know where we will be going. We have some money to get us started but yeah do you get what I'm trying to ask?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-31-2018, 08:21 AM.

    Comment


    • Reply: Me and my boyfriend are thinking of running away

      Hello,
      Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
      Just so that you know we are not legal experts and only can provide some general legal information when it comes to someone running away or someone assisting/aiding a person running away.

      Someone under 18 that leaves home, the parent/guardian may file them as a runaway and they may be returned home. Also, those that a reported runaway stays with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Anyone found to be assisting or aiding someone to run away may also find themselves at risk legally. For more specifics on the law, you might consider contacting the local non-emergency number for the police. You might also look for a legal aid center in the area. They may be able to answer any legal questions on the subject.

      If you would like to talk more in detail we are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you.

      If your friend should ever be at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage them to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).


      Take care,
      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • My dad constant yells and swears at me so I do it back. All I want to do is live with my mom but my dad threatens to lie to the court so I can’t go to my moms plz help

        Comment


        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It’s great that you were able to find out some information about our hotline. Hopefully we can help.

          You never deserve to be yelled at or screamed at, that’s a wrong way to communicate with someone. Your dad should treat you with respect and love. If you'd like, we can look for legal aid resources. They are lawyers who help youth for free or for a small fee, they would be able to brainstorm legal ways for your mom to get full custody of you so you could live with her. If you'd like us to connect you with those resources please give us a call.

          We’re here if you’d like to talk more about what’s going on at home. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website.

          Be safe, NRS

      • im 15... i live with my dad and my older sister and little brother . im treated less than, for example my brother and sister both have there own room and i sleep on a matress on the ground in the dining room its highly embarassing when people come over and they all think im like a crackhead cuz i smoke weed and i dont even smoke anymore . im so alone nobody talks to me and they all look at me like im not human i ahte it here and i break down all the time cuz i get bullied by my own family and they constantly drive e to places where i cut and attempt suicide when im with my friends and not around them ND NOT BEING JUDGED i just want to leave

        Comment


        • Hi there,

          Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about everything that is going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. You mentioned cutting and attempting suicide and we want you to know that your life is valuable and you deserve to be heard. When you're feeling that way, don't hesitate to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

          We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave and your dad files a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your dad, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

          Stay safe,

          NRS
          Last edited by ccsmod1; 09-10-2018, 08:17 AM.
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • IDK what to do anymore i moved from south flordia know im 8 f*cken days away south carolina and i cut my self i have anxity because my mom and her ' husband' always fights and he takes it out on me by hitting me and when i try to tell my mom she don't listen so i tryied to run away but.. . . it's illegal to run away here what do i do- help me plese

            Comment


            • ccsmod7
              ccsmod7 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,

              Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. That sounds like a lot to have going on, it shows a lot that you reached out. Reaching out can be a big step and it shows a lot about who you are that you did so, that is something worth being proud of.

              It sounds like you have had a lot going on recently. Moving can be stressful and hard, especially if you are moving away from friends and family. If there is anybody that you do know around, another family member or family friend, it might be helpful to talk with them about how you are feeling about the move, or the abuse that is going on. Nobody deserves to be abused and it sounds like it has been a tough situation with your mother not wanting to listen to you about what is going on. Abuse is a serious situation and it is important that you feel safe in your own home. Is there somebody you can tell about what is going on that might be able to help? A teacher, school counselor, family friend? These types of connections can be useful in situations like this because they are here for you and want to make sure you are safe as well. There are also other hotlines and places you can call to talk about these things and reporting them as well. You are always more than welcome to call us at our toll free 24/7 hotline at 1(800)786-2929. There is also the Child Help hotline at 1(800)422-4453. They are the national child abuse hotline and are more than happy to talk about what’s going on and how they can help you.

              You had also mentioned that through everything you have had some personal mental health problems and have harmed yourself. Mental health is a real issue and there is a lot of stigma around it but it does show a lot that you have acknowledged what’s going on and that you have reached out for help, that is a huge step and we are here for you. It’s okay to not be okay. Self harm can be a serious thing as well, are there other ways you have used in the past to help relieve stress or frustrations in the past that might help? Sometimes running, journaling, yoga, going for a walk, meditating, or other things like that can be helpful. Other ways to work through these kinds of things could be talking it out. You can do that with us or you could also reach out to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) at 1(800)950-6264. You can also email them if you text NAMO to 741741. Another place you could reach out as well could be the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1(800)273-8255.

              It definitely sounds like you have a lot going on but, again, it shows a lot that you reached out to us to talk about. We are always here for you. If you ever want to talk about it more in depth you can reach us at our toll free hotline at 1(800)786-2929, or you can chat with us online.

              We wish you the best,

              NRS

          • I have been having a pretty hard time at home and with school... My mom makes it harder for me to focus.. And she yells all the time over the littlest things. . . I don't want to stay here any longer then I have to.. I asked my friend what I should do. And she said her house is always open .. But im too scared to run away.. Sometimes I'm not because I am mad. But other times its like I don't want to be here

            Comment


            • ccsmod9
              ccsmod9 commented
              Editing a comment
              We want to thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that often times life gets hard and it is even harder to seek help and support. However we hope that we can listen and help in any way we can.
              From what we gather from your story it seems like there has been some tension with your mom and she does not seem to want to listen to you. We can understand how that can make you feel alone or not cared for. Just know that you should have mom listen and want to care for you. As far as running away if you are below the age of 18 you are still considered a minor and therefore your mom has the right to file a report with the Police. This means that if the cops were to run into you they would take you back home. As far as your friend there may or may not be some fines if your friend chooses to keep you at their house. This is called harboring a minor and can lead to some hefty fines. Some other options you might want to explore are perhaps talking it out with a school counselor or even a teacher might let you speak to your mom about her behavior. We at NRS offer some assistance as well. We offer conference calls and information about shelters, transitional housing programs , food pantries, etc. Know that you do have the right to feel safe and have the right to be cared for. If you no longer feel that in your household please do not hesitate the Police in that case.
              Again we want to thank you for reaching out to us. We know that it took a lot for you to reach out and we want you to know we value your story and all that you’ve been through. We hope that you can find a solution to your current situation. If you do happen to have more questions or concerns please do not hesitate to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or online at (www.1800runaway.org ) on our chat option.
              Best Wishes-NRS

          • I hate my life, I am 14 and every time I get about a stupid c or what ever in school my mom and stupid step dad always punished me harshly, I want to run away from here very far away. I wish i was with biological father. Today 10/12/18 I have decided to leave the house for 10 hours straight, I need different parents. sometimes I get this feeling in my head that makes me wanna hurt myself by cutting myself in my hand, I wrote kill me their and its bleeding, that's how much I hate my life. I want my parents to feel the pain I feel every single day. My mom always curses at me calling stupid ass mother ********er or what ever. every time my mom hits me my dad does nothing he just goes somewhere else and does what ever. I NEED HELP. PLEASE HELP ME

            Comment


            • ccsmod15
              ccsmod15 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi, thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time and you do not deserve the treatment you are getting at home. You deserve to feel safe both physically and emotionally and you are very strong for reaching out.

              You mentioned self-harm and cutting. You may find The National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) helpful in talking about what you are going through and what you are feeling. If that is something you are interested in, their number is 1-800-950-NAMI or you could text NAMI to 741741.

              The treatment you get from your mother and step father is not right and addressing it is a good step. An option you have is abuse reporting. You could do this by contacting Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. Abuse reporting can result in a number of ways, one being your removal from your house and placement into a home of a foster family. Because this option may seem scary at first, you can always contact your local police officers with anonymous and hypothetical questions about what options someone in your situation might have. You also talked about wanting to be with your biological father. If you are able to contact him and feel safe talking about what you are feeling, you could consider that option.

              Of course, you are also always welcome to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY as we are 24/7, toll-free, and confidential.
              Good Luck,
              NRS

          • Hi, I am 14 years old and I really want to run away to my Dad in Tennessee. I live in Texas with my Mom and grandparents. And My Dad could practically visit me when he wants with supervision, due to non-violent resons-his prsion time over 10 years ago. The reason why I want to run away is because it seems that I can't ever stop fighting with both my Mom and Grandparents. They say rude things to me and make me feel like i'm not normal. Which I know that it's the other way around. My Mom has mental illness that causes her to be mean verbally to me which isn't fair. I'm so sick of hearing that something is wrong with me cause I don't wanna babysit her children!!! And on top of that I have to live in this roach infested dump. Please give me advice on what I can do.

            Comment


            • ccsmod6
              ccsmod6 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello, and thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your mom and your grandparents are not providing an environment that is supportive for you or healthy for your wellbeing. It is unfair for them to have expectations that you will be simply be happy with the things they force you to do. Unfortunately, we are not legal experts, nor do we know the custody situation between your dad and your mom so it is difficult for us to give any insight. We could help you find some legal aid that might be helpful for you. Or we could explore more about what's going on at home and look into how we could improve that. If you are interested in pursuing those ideas or any other ideas that you might have, please do not hesitate to contact us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

          • Hi I am fourteen years old and a freshman in high school. For the past several years of my life things at home have been getting harder and harder. My parents are always mad at me and are yelling at me and my \little sister does not like me. I am always getting into trouble for stupid things such as taking to long of a shower. My parents have set a time of ten minutes for me every day and are always yelling at me during those ten minutes. That is probably the stupidest thing that I get into trouble for. I am having trouble in school with my grades and i get in trouble for that to. Just yesterday I didn't pick my room up so my mother got mad at me and pushed me into the counter because I was supposedly in her way and she was mad at me. I now have a bruise on my side. Last year I had tried to commit suicide but I just couldn't leave my sister here. I have thought about running away from the country and possibly going to Canada but I have no money or passport. I am just so tired of being in trouble all of the time when I do nothing wrong. Please help me.

            Comment


            • ccsmod3
              ccsmod3 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,

              Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline as it seems like these past couple years have been really difficult and the relationship with your parents is stressful and unsupportive. It seems like you care about them, your school, and your sister but it is also never okay that your parents hurt you physically or mentally. Your physical and mental health are both important and should be cared for.
              Also another way you can seek help is reaching out to a friend, teacher, or counselor at school that can help you look for resources. Your mental health is important. You can also look at SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at samhsa.gov (call them directly at 1-877-726-4727) or NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness 1-800-950-NAMI to help you find the support that you need. If you do ever feel in direct danger, to yourself, or some else makes you feel that way, please call out to 911 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255).
              We are sorry you are experiencing abuse, no one ever deserves to go through that. You do have the right to report the abuse to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. You can either do it yourself or call into us directly and we can support you through it. It is hard to say the result of reporting, but if you call in you can ask what the process might look like.

              It can be difficult to know how to talk to your parents and express your feelings about how you are feeling. We would encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative, and friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation. At NRS, we do offer a service call conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, help you express the needs you have to your parents.

              We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians/or police can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring. One of our main goals is to make sure you are safe, so if you ever seriously decide to run away and need shelter, resources, or a safe place to go you can find safe locations at nationalsafeplace.org or reach out to us directly and we can find local resources in your area.

              We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

              -NRS

              We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

          • I’m 14, I wanna run away. I keep having mental breakdowns. My parents don’t accept me for being Trans and keep commenting about how me being a “tomboy” is sinning and is going to ruin my future. I can’t take it anymore. I have friends who are willing to take me in. Idk what to do anymore. I’m not mentally stable anymore and I just wanna make it all go away. I wanna be myself. I don’t wanna have to pretend to be someone I’m not anymore. I don’t wanna pretend to be ok with how I’m living. I don’t feel safe in my own home.

            Comment


            • ccsmod2
              ccsmod2 commented
              Editing a comment
              Thanks for reaching out to us here at The National Runaway Safeline- we are here to help. It sounds like your going through a very tough time and we are so sorry to here that. We recognize your bravery in reaching out to us- we know it takes a lot of strength.
              You mentioned you are having mental breakdowns. This sounds really scary. Your health and happiness are our top priority. Mental health should always be taken seriously. Consider reaching out to your school counselor, or giving the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) a call at 1-800-950-NAMI. They should be able to provide you with some helpful resources and support. If you ever feel that you are in danger, don’t hesitate to call 911.
              When parents don’t accept your identity, it can be very upsetting and stressful. We are here for you. It sounds like you have a number of friends who are here for you and care about you. Do you talk to them about this? You can also give the LGBT National Youth Talk Line a call at 1-800-246-7743- they will give you specific support and resources.
              While we aren’t legal experts, there are a few things we can tell you about running away. Depending on your city and state, running away is likely just a status offense. This means that although it will appear on your record until your 18, you won’t get in any trouble- no arrests or anything. If the police do find you, they will most likely bring you home. If you do chose to leave home, it is important to have a plan that includes access to food, water, and a safe place to stay, among the other things you need to live a happy, safe, and comfortable life.
              We hope this was helpful- Please call us at the National Runaway Safeline at 1(800)786-2929. We are more than happy to give your resources, or just to listen and talk. We are 100% confidential, non-directive, and non-judgemental. We are here 24/7 and always happy to help.

              Best of luck,
              The National Runaway Safeline

          • I'm getting tired of this crap I'm going through with my parents and the only option is me running away I can't do this no more

            Comment


            • ccsmod7
              ccsmod7 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are going through a lot at home and feeling like your only option is running away. That seems really tough to deal with and here at NRS, we truly want to support you and inform you as best we can. Also if you do run, we can look for youth shelters for you to go, and help brainstorm your options with you. Your safety is our #1 priority.

              If you would like to give more details on how we can best help you or if you would like to talk to someone please do not hesitate to call or chat us. We want to be there for you.

              We look forward to hearing from you.

              Best,

              NRS
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