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Is it illegal to runaway when you're 14? what can happen?

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  • I am 14 ...i hate my house hold and everyone hates me ....but I know that what if I ran away to my aunts house ...would that be illegal. Even if she is family ?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS! It sounds like home life is pretty hard and you’re wanting to live with your aunt. Unfortunately, we’re non-directive at NRS, so were not able to tell you what to do.

      We do offer conference calling between youth and their guardians/parents, if you needed help talking to your parents about what’s going on at home and how you want to live with your aunt. Running away isn’t illegal, so you can’t be arrested for it. Sometimes, we hear parents asking the police to charge the adults who are letting runaways stay with them. The charge is called “harboring a runaway”, but if you don’t think your parents would ask the police to press that charge, you should be fine. However, we are not legal experts but if you call into our safeline we can call your local police stations non-emergency number to ask them about their protocols.

      Talking to school teachers or counselors about your home life, could provide you with really great support. There may be other options and the best way to discuss those options would be to have you call into our safeline, so we can fully talk about the situation. We also have a chatting service available via our website.

      Be well, NRS

  • I'm 13 and wish I could just go away from my family. I think about running away a lot almost every day ... what will happen if I run away ? Is it a crime ?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for contacting NRS. Although we are not legal experts, we do know that running away is not a crime. So, if your legal guardians filed a runaway report, the police will search and try to take you back home. If there is a legitimate reason for you to runaway, for example, if you fear for your safety, you can tell the police about it. The police will decide whether to take you back home or not. Again, we are not legal experts so we do not know how the police react when they receive a runaway report. IF you do decide to runaway, we are here to help you with a safety plan and can try to find a youth shelter for you to go to so you’re safe.
      Our safeline is open 24/7 @ (800) 786-2929. We are always here, so you’re never alone.
      Be safe, NRS

  • Is it illegal to runaway at 17?

    I recently started living with my dad about 2 months ago and ever since I got here he would hit me. Not all the time but sometimes. He would hit for me stupid reasons and it gets me so mad so fast. He would hit me in the back of the head or flick me in my ear and earlier yesterday he pulled me off the bed while I was sleeping. I'm getting tired of it and I feel like there's nothing I could do about it. I want to runaway the next time he puts his hands on me but I don't know what would happen if I did runaway. What would the police do if I got caught? I just don't want to get into any legal trouble.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-02-2017, 02:29 AM.

    Comment


    • Reply: I recently started living with my dad about 2 months ago


      Hello,
      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.
      We are sorry to hear about your situation and we appreciate you sharing some of what has been going on.

      You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household.
      It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

      You don't deserve to be abused and you are not at fault for your father's behavior

      If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/.

      We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
      Just call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) to do so.

      You also asked what might happen if you were to leave home (run away).
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Be safe,
      NRS

      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • My name is Iris, I'm 14 years old and I live in CT. Ever since I was little my parents talked about how terrible of a daughter I was. My 12 year old sister and my 7 year old sister makes fun of how skinny I am, and how ugly I am. Depression has been taking a toll on me. I think about things I've never thought I'd think. I attempted suicide once and failed. I had found my sexuality in 7th grade. My father told me that if he found out I was gay he would disown me and throw me out the house. I'm scared to come out the closet and tell them that I like girls. I sometimes think about how everyone wouldn't miss me if I died or killed myself. My abused me, and hit me with anything she could find around the house. She even attempted to put my hand on the stove while it was hot. I don't hate my mom, I don't want to hate her. But the things she says like " you shouldn't of been born, you tire me out. You're such a stupid kid. I should throw you out on the streets and make you starve to death" make me want to hate her. We lived in New York, but moved to Connecticut because my mom wanted a bigger house. She didn't think of how it would effect me and how I had to leave my friends. I hate my life and still think of killing myself. I don't want to wake up in this house or my family judging and hating words. Please help me.

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello Iris,
          We are here to help, so we are glad you are reaching out to us! You said that you have attempted suicide and that you hate your life and are thinking of killing yourself. You mentioned that you sometimes think about how everyone wouldn't miss you if you died or killed yourself. Have you told any family members, friends, or trusted adults about these thoughts? If you haven’t or aren’t comfortable having that conversation with anyone, we want you to know that you can call us (1-800-RUNAWAY or 1-800-786-2929) 24/7 to talk about your feelings and what is going on. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is also a great resource (1-800-273-8255). They have trained counselors that are also there to listen, to talk, and to help whenever you have suicidal thoughts. There is also a service called To Write Love On Her Arms that offers a texting service if you aren’t able to call. You can text “TWLOHA” to 741-741 anytime you’re having suicidal thoughts. A trained crisis counselor receives the text and responds quickly.
          We also want you to know that no one deserves to be treated that way by their mom or family members. You mentioned that she abused you and hit you with anything she could fine around the house. How often does that happen? Our number one concern is your safety, so we want to help you think of options to help you. Have you thought about reporting what has been going on at home? Physical contact and/or emotional abuse can be reported and can help remove you from that type of situation with your mom. If you wanted to fill out an abuse report, one of our liners on our hotline could help you! We could talk more about your situation, can help you think of options, and can even help you fill out a report. Another resource to learn more about abuse and what forms it can take, you can call Child Help, the national child abuse hotline (1-800-422-445) or visit their website (childhelp.com). Speaking of, have you talked about what is going on with a family member or a friend that could advocate what is happening on your behalf?
          You also mentioned that your dad said that he would disown you and throw you out the house if he found out you are gay. That type of communication can also be brought up if you chose to report the abuse, because in some cases that can also be considered verbal abuse. There are a few organizations and resources that specialize in dealing with situations like this that could be of help. The LGBT National Hotline (1-888-843-4564) or the LGBT National Youth Talkline (1-800-246-7743). An additional resource is The Trevor Project (1-866-488-7386 / thetrevorproject.org), which is a hotline specifically designed to help LGBTQ Youth with suicidal thoughts.
          Again, we are here to help you so we are glad you are reaching out to us. Getting more information is a good first step in changing your situation. We are a 24/7 confidential hotline, so please give us a call, email ([email protected]), or chat (1800runaway.org) to discuss any of the options we mentioned!
          Best of Luck

      • I'm 14 years old and I live in Connecticut. Ever since I was young my mom told me that I shouldn't of been born, and that I'm a hassle. She hates me because she would prefer living a life of luxury without me barging in or ruining it. She always tells me if people ask how things are doing in the house to lie and to say everything is good but they're not.when I was little she would beat me with anything she could find in the house. I tried committing suicide but failed. All I think about is dying and running away from home. I had found my sexuality in the 7th grade. My step-dad told me if he ever finds that Im gay he'll disown me and kick me out the house. I have been suffering from depression, pnemonia and friend-losses. I don't think positive about my self anymore. My own sisters have told me that I'm too skinny and ugly. They always start fights with me and yell at me. I don't have hope in this world or this place anymore. Not even in myself. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep at night. I'm tired of being depressed. All I want is to get out of hear. Please help me.

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi,

          Thanks so much for reaching out! We’re here to listen and here to help. It sounds like things are really tough at home with your mom, step-dad, and sisters. It also seems that you are struggling with some pretty serious health issues, including pneumonia and depression. We are here to help you out the best that we can.

          Since it seems as if your family is not currently a support system, one option to consider is reaching out to a trusted adult, such as an extended family member, teacher, friends’ parents, or school counselor/therapist. Another resource available to you is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can check the out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. It is understandable that you are feeling hopeless due to all the stress in your life; however, please know that things will get better and talking about your suicidal thoughts might be very helpful for you right now.

          You mentioned that your mom used to beat you and has been saying mean things to you. All of these things happening sound like abuse. It is your right to report what is happening to you, if you so choose. If you’re wondering about abuse reporting in general, please visit www.childhelp.org. We want you to know that we’re here for you if you’re uncomfortable reporting on your own. If you called us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), we’d be able to conference call with your state’s abuse reporting hotline and be there for support if you need.

          One final resource that might be helpful for you is the LBGT National Hotline. They can be reached at 1-888-843-4564 or http://www.glbthotline.org/.

          We wish you the best of luck!

      • I'm 14, turning 15. I'm the girl who is friends with everyone. I'm the one who listens to everyone's problems. I go to school, do chores(every now and then) and sometimes cook. I keep my room clean and I help out. I love both my parents. But recently, my whole family had been going through a pretty rough patch.. But still, before the "rough patch" my mom drank... and drank...She'll get all crazy, one minute she'll be nice and offer to go buy me small things(while she's drunk), and the next she'll be punching holes in the wall, breaking down doors, pushing/punching/slapping my dad. She'll scream at the top of her lungs and yelling at us for dumb and outrageous things we've never done. She's even choked one of my older brothers and I. Can she get introuble for that? And then there's my dad. Amazing character. Super nice and cool.... unless something puts him in a bad mood... Let's say he drops his phone, it breaks etc. He would come home, and the first kid he'd see he would yell at them for something.(usually me) He'll yell at me to go to my room if I talk back, One time as I was literly walking to my room, he grabbed me by the arm and threw me into a door(wich bruised me) and said he had to because I wasn't "moving". When he "spanks us" (Let's not forget I'm 14, and the youngest is 12) he will hit us anywhere and say, "I'm your parent I'm aloud to 'spank' and throw you in you're room, what are you going to do about it? Call the cops?" He says that it's not abuse.. and I don't know if it is or isn't. Plus, then there's all the name calling and yelling. I want to get out of this house....But how?(No I can't live with family members or talk to my parents )

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you have been harmed at home by both your mom and your dad and they have been taking out there issues on you. Here at NRS, we want you to know that you do not deserve to be harmed in anyway, and there is no excuse for that their actions. You must be very resilient for putting up with all of this. You should be able to feel safe in your own home.

          It seems like you are wanting to know if your parents hitting you is abuse. To see the formal definition of physical abuse you might look at this link: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. Your dad throwing you and hitting you, and your mom choking you sounds like physical abuse. If you haven’t already, you might try to take pictures of your bruise or any other injuries you have from them. Having witnesses could also serve as proof of the abuse. You do have the right to report the abuse and possible neglect with your mom’s drinking problems to child protective services (CPS). If CPS investigates the abuse and finds it highly dangerous, you would be removed from the home. To learn more about what reporting might look like for you, you might call the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. We can also help you report if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
          Contrary to what your dad said, you can call the cops. If you are ever in immediate danger, please do not hesitate to call 911. They would respond faster and would get CPS involved.

          Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like us to talk over your situation and brainstorm additional options for you. Again, you so deserve to be safe and we truly want to help.

          Stay safe,

          NRS

      • I hate to live here with my family because my parents always fight and my siblings call me ugly and adopted kid . I never feel freedom when im with them . Once i was 6 my dad abused me and it left a scars on my eyebrow . I'm always try to be happy but i can't . I can't even do anything that i want or they never support me on anything . I just feel like i'm live with stranger in the house eventho they are my family . My family always call me a stupid and worthless .I just think to runaway to other country and i'm 14 . I just hoping there's other family would adopt me and i can reach my dream .

        Comment


        • ccsmod8
          ccsmod8 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there -

          Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. From your message to us, it sounds like you have are going through a very hard time right now and seem to be very overwhelmed with everything that is going on especially if you don’t know where to go. It’s great that you are able to reach out for help in your current situation, it’s very brave of you to do that. It must be very frustrating to feel like you can’t stay at home anymore. No one deserves to go through something like that.

          Unfortunately, we don’t know much about resources in Malaysia for we mainly work within the United States. But there are resources that might be able to help you within India that can be of more help. There is the “Childline Malayisa” (http://www.mctf.org.my/) in Malaysia that might be of more help since our resources don’t go outside the United States. There also might be a number in which you can call as well to talk to them about what has been going on. It might be a great way to talk to someone there that can help you get through these terrible times with your parents. Another thing that might be helpful would to reach out to someone to talk about the abuse that you are going through. Unicef has taken an interest in protecting youth in Malaysia from abuse and help others to take action. To talk to someone it looks like you have to call (15999) to share your story.

          Hope that this helps!

      • Hi I'm 15 I feel like my family don't want me no more and they don't love me . My brother calls me fat and ugly they also tell me that I'm adopted. My parents fight with me for no reason and yell at me . What would happen to me if I runaway

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi, thank you for reaching out to NRS. We are very sorry to hear about the way that your family has been treated you. You don’t deserve to be called names, physical or verbal abuse. You mentioned that your parents fight with you, if you would like to report the abuse you could contact Child Help (1-800-422-4453). Running away is not illegal but, if your parents file a runaway report and the police find you, they may return you home. If you were to stay with a friend, they could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. Thanks again for contacting us, don’t hesitate to call our 24 crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) if you would like to discuss more about what’s going on at home.

      • I'm 16 and hurricane Irma has a chance of hitting me, my friends are moving out of the way for a few days my parents are in NC and I'm in FL with my grandparents they're gonna try to stay with a category 5 hurricane coming what if I do leave with my friend? Can his parents get in trouble even if I don't tell them I'm running away? I just don't want to take a chance of a 400 mile wide storm with 180mph winds hitting me

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thanks for reaching out. We are so sorry to hear that you might be in the path of a hurricane. It is definitely understandable that you are so worried.

          And it sounds like you are considering leaving with a friend because your grandparents have made the decision to stay, in spite of the storm coming.

          We aren’t legal experts here, but generally speaking, if your friend’s parents aren’t aware that you are leaving without permission, they can’t get in trouble for bringing you with them. In order for them to get in legal trouble for “harboring a runaway”, they have to be doing so with the knowledge that the youth has run away.

          At NRS, we don’t tell youth what they should/have to do in any situation, but our primary concern is always the youth’s safety. So, we want you to make the decision that feels safest for you. If you do decide to leave, it might be difficult, but telling your grandparents could be good so that they don’t think something really bad happened.

          If you have other questions or want to run anything else by us, please feel free to reach out via our 24/7 hotline number at 1-800-786-2929 or chat at www.1800runaway.org.

          Best of luck,
          National Runaway Safeline (NRS)

      • I am 14 and want to run away
        I live with my great grandma because my mom is in jail and I don't know my dad. My nana and I get into fights all the time and they get so bad sometimes she grabs me really hard and hits me in the head. Sometimes she leaves marks on my arms. She usually gets over the fights and I was fine with it at first until she started putting up all these boundaries and started giving me no freedom. It started 2015 when I first went to middle school I was getting bullied a lot and people were telling me to kill myself. I tried and I was cutting then I accidentally posted a picture of it and my Tia told my nana. I got pulled out of school and went to a mental hospital and all this other stuff then it began. When I got in trouble she just turned off the wifi at night and locked me in my room that was fine. It's not fine anymore now she takes my wifi away all day (i do k12), she locks me in my room and doesn't let me eat until she says so and doesn't make me food, she calls me names, she doesn't let me see my friends, she never lets me tell her from my point of view, she took my make up and my computer, and she invaded my privacy, it's like she wants me to be her perfect child but I'm just not. Last night she came into my room and looked for my phone then she somehow got rid of the app store and got rid of all my social media. She doesn't understand I'm a teenager I need social media and privacy and I thought about running away today but I didn't cause I didn't know if it was illegal and I spent all day trying to find away to talk to my friends telling them whats going on so I could live with them. Should I run away? sorry for making this so long

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. Its sounds like you and your nana get into some really hostile situations. You mentioned that she has hit you before. We want you to know that no one has the right to hurt you, abuse whether its physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, it is never okay and you do not deserve it and do have the right to report it. We want you to know that you do have the right to make a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.
          We are so glad that your history of self-harm and depression are behind you, you sounds like a resilient person to have overcome so much in your life. It sounds like having access to social media and privacy are very important to you. Have you been able to express this to the rest of your family? Getting them to understand what is important to might help the lines of communication that you have. Family therapy is another option to help you guys communicate better. If you would like referrals for resources like this just give us a call and we can locate one for you.
          You mentioned that you are thinking about running away we are not legal experts but we want you to know that if you do decided to run away your nana does have the right to call the police and report you as a runaway. Running away is not a crime but it is considered a status offence which means that the police would look for you until you are found and then they would return you home. Even though you personally, will not get into any legal trouble the person that you are found with could be charged with harboring a runaway. Any details greater than that would be best posed to your local non-emergency police.
          Additionally, if you ever need a safe place to go, we also can provide you with various resources for agencies in whatever area they are in to best help them during this difficult time. You can always call us to talk about what you are going through and receive some support. We provide free, confidential, and nonjudgmental services. Everyone deserves to be respected and loved.
          Best wishes,
          NRS

      • I'm 14 I used to live in Alabama but my parents moved me to Florida I hate it here and I want to run away and take buses back to Alabama. I love my stepdad but my mom is crazy and all she does is yell and verbally abuses me. So I really want to run away to Alabama do you know what laws there is in those states for someone who's 14?

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there,
          Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re in a really stressful situation at home. No one deserves to be called those names by their parents. Home is a place where you should feel safe and comfortable. It’s understandable that you would want to leave that environment.
          There’s a lot to think about when leaving home. Before you leave it's good to think about whether you have anyone who would be willing to let you stay with them like a friend or family member, or how you are planning to get to Alabama. As a minor, some things to keep in mind are that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. So, if you are picked up by the police, they could return you home. It’s also good to keep in mind that anyone you stay with could be at risk for harboring a runaway. Fortunately running away doesn’t usually have any legal consequences since it is a status offense, but harboring is often considered a misdemeanor. Those laws are the same in Alabama as well.
          You mentioned that you have a good relationship with your stepfather. Maybe he’s someone you can talk to? If you’re not comfortable with that, you can always give us a call so that we can discuss more options with you in detail.
          We want you to know that we know how difficult it is to reach out and we’re glad that you reached out to us for help. You can always call us on our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Chat which is open every day from 4:30PM to 11:30PM CST. We would be happy to look up resources in your area, talk with you about your options, or just listen to what you’re going through. We’re here to help.
          Regards,
          NRS

      • see my 14 and live in daytona flordia and im tired of the yelling and being mistreated u cant sit down and talk with my family they dont listen and i plann on leaving to orlando very soon will i get in trouble by the police

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there, it looks like you posted twice. Please see our response to your post below.

      • im 14 and me and my grandma constantly go back and foward i live in daytona floridia but is planning on running away to orlando flordia but i dont want to get in trouble with cops i even called sucide line cause ive been really messed up lately i need to get away for awhile i just dont want the cops looking for me im going make a run for it but what should i do

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi, thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now. You don’t deserve to be mistreated by your family and it is understandable why you would want to leave.

          First off, you mentioned that you called the suicide hotline. Know that your life has value and you took the right step to feel better in that time of crisis. If you ever feel the need to talk to someone about suicide, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

          You also mentioned that you want to run away and you want to know what you should do. First off, here at the National Runaway Safeline we are non-directive, meaning we won’t tell you what to do. You are the expert of your own situation and probably know what’s going on better than we do. We are not legal experts, but if you are considering running away, there are a few things you may want to keep in mind. Running away itself is not technically illegal, but it is considered a status offense if a minor leaves the home of a parent/guardian. This means that if a parent or guardian files a runaway report with the police, then the police will return the runaway youth to their home if found.

          We can help you make a plan for where you may want to go if you ran away. Another consideration is that whoever you stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway, if a runaway report is filed. Another place you could go is a local shelter. You can contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can try and find a shelter that would be a good fit for you.

          If running away does not sound like the best plan, there are other options we can talk about. Perhaps there is someone you are close with that you would feel comfortable talking with about your frustrations with your family. You can always call or chat us here. We would be happy to have a conference call with you and your family to talk about how things can be better. We can also help find an affordable counselor or therapist in your location who may be able to help.

          It sounds like you are going through a rough time and we are really glad you reached out to us. If you or you would like to talk further about your situation, feel free to call or chat us.
          Good luck!

      • Im 14 and ive wanted to run away so long since im being treated like ******** in my famly. My mom and i just had a argument and she dis-owned but i can still live in the house till i get a job and leave that is. Is there any way i could live with a other family member?

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It takes a great deal of courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear that your mother has disowned you. It seems like you have been thinking about running away for some time now. You could live with another family member if your mother gives you permission. If you were to run away from home, your mother could file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police found you they would return you to your mother. Running away is not illegal so you wouldn’t get arrested but if you decided to go to a family member’s house they could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. If you have any additional questions, please feel free to contact us through our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.
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