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Is it illegal to runaway when you're 14? what can happen?

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  • Re: Is it illegal to runaway when you're 14? what can happen?

    I am 14 and i live with my grandma and her husband. The husband is extremely strict so strict that if i get a 10 min detention at school he will shout at me
    and call me a waste of space and that i will get no where in life then take all my stuff (phone tv xbox) and sent me upstairs to sit on my bed for 2 days.
    I recently got a 20 min detention and am terrified on what is going to happen and i just feel like running away or suicide is the best option for me.

    Comment


    • Re: Is it illegal to runaway when you're 14? what can happen?

      Hello,
      Thanks for posting here on the National Runway Safeline forum. We’re really sorry to hear about how you’re being treated at home. It sounds really unfair. We’re also sorry to hear about your troubles at school. It sounds like your grandma and her husband go pretty hard on you if you get in trouble at school. That sounds tough.

      We’re so sorry that you’re feeling like killing yourself. Feeling trapped is a really hard way to live. In the darkest times when you feel like you might hurt yourself, it might be beneficial for you to have someone you trust that you can contact to keep you safe. If you’d like, you could call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800273-TALK to work on a safety plan. We can help too. You could call us at our 24/7 call center at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or try our Live Chat right here on this website.

      We’re not legal experts here, but running away isn’t typically considered a crime. It’s what is called a “status offense”, similar to skipping school. You’re not allowed to do it, but you’re not going to be locked up for it. However, if you left, your guardians would be able to call the police and file a runaway report. They would then be on the lookout for you and if they found you they would have the authority to apprehend you and take you home. Sometimes whoever you stay with runs the risk of being charged with “harboring a runaway” because it is technically illegal to let a runaway minor stay in your home without their guardian’s permission.

      Please consider calling us directly to discuss a safety plan for you if you’re feeling like you might hurt yourself or you’d like to run away from home. Your safety is the most important thing to us!

      Take care,
      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • I just ran away .

        My life is frustrating. I can start of by saying that my grandma & grandpa raised me since I was a baby. I remember that I and my mom would always be fighting over little things anyways. Now I live w her since was 10! And it’s been terrible my "mom" treats me bad she’s always telling me stuff. Putting me down she’s unfair w me she’s always on my sisters side. Anyways today she was telling me all this stuff which o couldn't hold em ' no more & I’m on the run ... It’s my first time. But I just wanna know if I could like get somebody else to take care of me like get back w my grandma to Mexico (Matamoros). Anyways can anybody help me or give me information cause definitely ain’t gonna live on the same roof as her.

        Comment


        • Reply: I just ran away

          Hello,
          Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

          It sounds like you have run away from home because you are unhappy living with your mother.
          It also sounds like you would like to live with your grandmother if possible.
          To talk about options for help with your situation contact 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.

          The mission of NRS is to try and help keep runaway/homeless youth safe and off the streets.
          We would be happy to look up information in your area for emergency shelter etc.
          We are here to listen and here to help.

          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Take care,
          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • I'm adopted and want to quit my family

            Hi my names kc and I'm 14. I was adopted at the age 6. My adopted parents are verbally abusive and they aren't for gays but I think I'm bisexual.
            I want to runaway to California to a friends house but I don't have a way there except by foot. I think she shooting a movie anyways but I think she would hold me. i don't have much time till I go insane from the abuse. AHHHHH! Help me please

            Comment


            • Re: I'm adopted and want to quit my family

              Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but we’re here to help you in any way we can.

              That sounds so difficult to feel that your parents aren’t for gays and that you think you’re bisexual. It sounds like you have a source of support that could maybe help you in California. We want you to know that we are here to support you and help you. There are many resources out there that could help you talk with your parents, find support among the LGBTQ community, and help with anything else you may need. Here’s the website for the GLBT National Hotline website, in case that would be helpful for you: www.glbthotline.org/. If you want any information about these resources, or if you’d like to talk about what’s been going on, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

              Again, thank you for reaching out. You’ve been going through a tough time, but you’ve shown strength by reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.
              Last edited by ccsmod15; 01-06-2017, 07:31 PM. Reason: Incorrect title
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • Runner

                I ran away when I was 9 because of my brother mother and uncle they are two faced and have no life but I got my life back with my loving Fiance and he won't let nobody hurt me because he is amazing to me and he saved me from committing sucicide again quite a few times I love him
                Last edited by ccsmod16; 01-15-2017, 01:55 PM.

                Comment


                • Re: Is it illegal to runaway when you're 14? what can happen?

                  Hello Nunny,

                  Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you’ve been through a lot in your life, and it is unfortunate that your brother, mother, and uncle’s actions made you feel like you needed to run away from home at the age of 9.

                  We are happy to hear that you have a loving fiancé now, and that he is protecting you from being hurt by others. We realize that your fiancé stopped you from committing suicide a few times, but if you ever need to talk to someone about these feelings, you may consider calling the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. Your life is important, and nobody has a right to make you want to end it. You deserve to be respected and treated well, especially by your family members and those closest to you.

                  You are also welcome to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are here to listen and help in any way we can, and we care about your well-being.

                  Take care,
                  NRS
                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                  Comment


                  • Help

                    Hi an 14 and I live in California I've been caught smoking weed teice I'm always in some sort of trouble and my grades are terrible I put so much stress and anxiety and pressure on my mom and my family I feel bad. I have all the money I need to buy a plane ticket to Portland Oregon can I find a place to stay ther I know I can get a. Job that's secure . It's just still shaky and I idk if I can leave my baby sister

                    Comment


                    • Re: Is it illegal to runaway when you're 14? what can happen?

                      Hi and thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

                      It sounds like you’re going through a stressful period and we’re glad you found us for help! Sometimes when we’re stressed it might seem easier to just pick up and go somewhere else. If you left for Portland, who would you stay with? What if your parent(s) make a runway report on you? We are non-directive here (meaning we don’t tell anyone what TO do or what NOT to do), but we do want to make sure you are safe in your plan. If you want to call in directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY, someone here could work with you to come up with a plan together to stay safe.

                      Do you think things at home could be changed to make you feel comfortable enough to stay? You mentioned you’ve been caught smoking pot and your grades aren’t the best. If you ever feel the need to discuss issues around drug (or alcohol) use, you can call the Alcohol and Drug Helpline (206-722-3700) and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA 877-726-4727) for nonjudgmental support. Also, have you looked into what academic help exists at your school? If you can reach a tutor or a trusted teacher, they may be able to help get you on track to do better in school. Again, if you are comfortable calling in, we can discuss many options like this to help you in any way we can.

                      Good luck, and know that we are here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you ever need more help.

                      Best,

                      NRS
                      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                      National Runaway Safeline
                      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                      Comment


                      • Okay so, I'm turning 17 in April, and I live in Kentucky. I've been thinking about running away for a long time, and I've looked up what could possibly happen, but I only find things for other states. I've also thought about trying to get legally emancipated but I don't think I'll be approved and I don't want to start it and it not work out and start more stuff. I'm not sure what to do. I've been trying to wait till I turn 18 and just leave legally, but I don't think I can stay here much longer.

                        Here's my story:

                        I live with my mamaw and my dad. My mother was on drugs the entire time she was pregnant with me and thought there would be something wrong with me because of it so she just tried to sell me. My mamaw and dad fought to get me. My mom wasn't able to sell me because of it, so just chose not to take care of me. When I was about 2 and a half, police were called and my mom was passed out drunk in a hotel room, and I was there, hadn't been fed in days or changed. I was taken away and custody was give to my dad, however my mom still had the right to visit, but she never showed up so when I was 3 my dad and mamaw got full custody and didn't have to let her see me so they chose not to let me find out about her. My dad remarried and had 3 kids with her and I grew up with who at the time I thought was my mother. I was always treated different and didn't know why. My step mother never acted like she cared.So many fights broke out, I spent many holidays in hotels from all the family fights. Cops had been called many times. Social services has been called many times. In 6th grade I was at a friends house and found something on the internet that suggested she wasn't my real mom. I asked but they always said she was. Finally in 7th grade I found out she really wasn't my mother. She left my dad a month before my bday and took all my brothers and sister away. After she left, it was just me, my dad, and my mamaw. The day before my birthday is when I found out who my real mom was and that she was just my step mom. I thought things would be better with her there mistreating me and all the family drama, but it only got worst. My mamaw and dad both worked at times to where I'd be home alone during the week after school. It was very lonely, but I was fine with that as long as there was no drama but then my mamaw got switched to where she'd be home. Soon after, all the drama started back. I was constantly yelled at, told I was worthless and lazy. I was constantly called a bi*** and told I was just like my step mom, which she also always talked about how much she hated. I felt worthless, In about 8th grade is when i actually found out my mom tried selling me, I had made my mamaw mad, and she always has to play the victim and make her self look like the good person. I felt even more worthless. The verbal abuse continued and eventually she started threatening to kick me out, but my dad wouldn't let her. All this continued from 7th grade till now. I've told my dad everything she does but he doesn't do anything. He takes her side on everything and just does what she wants, because he knows she will kick us out and we'd had no place to go. The summer after 10th grade, I'm in 11th now, me and my mamaw got in a bad fight. She started telling me I was worthless, and a b*** again. I was tired of it and told her I didnt care anymore and that I hated her and was tired of the way she treats me. She slapped me and I stood up and hit her back, she grabbed my throat and started hitting me and I kept trying to get her off me. Finally she quit, and I sat back down. She told my dad I hit her, but he didn't do anything because he knew it was bound to happen, and he thought once it did everything would be fine. Soon after, she told me a story, of course making herself look like the good person, about how no one wanted me but she was the one that took me in and took care of me when my dad and mom didn't want me. I didn't know at the time my dad didn't me either. I said thanks for being there, but I don't care about the past that I can't remember, I care about now and how i'm treated now. I told her I didn't like the way I was being treated and I wouldn't put up with it anymore. She said sorry and things would change, but they didn't. The verbal abuse still continues but she hasn't hit me since that day. Its getting so much worse though. I think she has anger issues. She doesn't even have to have a reason to be in a bad mood anymore. As soon as she comes home she starts complaining and yelling. I literally hide in my room, trying to avoid her and she just comes back there and starts. All she ever does anymore is yell. I literally dread coming home from school everyday, I dread her coming home from work. I try to be nice, but it just doesn't work. Everyday coming home from school I'm debating on weather or not today will be the day I runaway but I'm too afraid to do it. I'm afraid if they find me how much worst it will be. I'm actually terrified to be here anymore. I'm just not sure what to do. I feel like I have no one on my side. My mamaw is against me, and my dad is on her side. I don't know anyone else in my family, and my friends can't really help. They just say how sorry they are. Its good to have someone to listen, but I need someone to help. I'm not sure what to do anymore.

                        I'm sorry if that's confusing, I left a lot out, and tried to include as much as possible without making it too long. I'm currently being yelled at so I had to end it there. Please, help.

                        Comment


                        • Hello there,
                          Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It really sounds like you have been through a lot if your life and now you need a break. It is understandable that you would want to leave a place where you are being told that you are not wanted. You mentioned that you have been thinking about running away for a while now. While we are not here to try to talk you into or out of running way we just want to make sure that you have been informed about all possible outcomes. We are not legal experts nor are we affiliated with the police so we can only speak generally about what could happen if a youth leaves home without the consent of a guardian. Leaving home without parental consent (running away) is not a crime, so the police will not arrest you. If you do leave home without permission your guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. Running away is not a crime it is a status offence (something that only a minor can get in trouble for: truancy, buying cigarettes, etc.) this means that if you have any interaction with the police they will simply return you home. On the other hand the people that you are found to be staying with could face legal consequences that vary depending on state. You can find out more about how runaway’s reports are carried out by contacting your local police department. If you would like we could contact your local non-emergency number for you or with you. Just give us a call 1-800-786-2929 and one of our trained liners would be happy to assist you.
                          It took a lot of courage to share your personal information on a public platform like this bulletin board. We want you to know that you are not alone and we are going to do our best to help you with what you are dealing with.


                          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                          National Runaway Safeline
                          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                          Tell us what you think about your experience!
                          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                          Comment


                          • Alright so I want to run away. My parents are constantly drinking and fighting. They go to the bar almost every night and I can't take it anymore. Me and my older siblings have tried to explain to them that we're all sick of it but they don't care and they don't listen. All they say is that they are the parents and they can do whatever they want. I went to the councilor st my school and showed him some messages between me and my mother to show him her responses and to explain what I'm going through. He mentioned trying to talk to my parents calmly without yelling or screaming and I tried that but my mom and dad don't listen my mom started getting mad and I was acting all calm and she literally told me we weren't having this conversation anymore. I can't take it anymore. I live in Pennsylvania and not sure where I want to run away to, I was thinking Virginia since that's where my family is but idk.

                            Comment


                            • ccsmod3
                              ccsmod3 commented
                              Editing a comment
                              Hello there,

                              Thank you so much for taking the time to share a bit about your situation on our forum. We are very sorry to hear your parents are constantly drinking and fighting. It is understandable for you and your older siblings to be sick of this behavior. Talking to your school counselor didn’t seem to go quite how you were hoping, but it’s good to hear you are open to trying different options.

                              Please know we are not here to judge you. If you are seriously considering running away, we care about your safety above all us. We are also non-directive so while we cannot tell you whether to run away or assist you in the process, we can provide you with some resources. You mentioned you live in Pennsylvania and are thinking of running to Virginia, but don’t know. We are here to listen and provide support to the best of our ability. There is also National Safe Place http://nationalsafeplace.org/ and Alateen http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/for-alateen which are both nationally-based organizations with local partners/chapters as well.

                              Feel free to reach out to us directly either through our Live Chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY to continue talking. Best of luck!

                          • We still love you:d

                            Comment


                            • ccsmod9
                              ccsmod9 commented
                              Editing a comment
                              Thanks for posting on our forum today! Please remember to give us a call if you ever need someone to talk to. 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)

                          • Hi I'm 14 and I'm planning on running away I'm in Michigan... What's the consequences? My parents hurt me.. And I'm bullied in school a and they have me take pills 4 delusional ppl

                            Comment


                            • ccsmod15
                              ccsmod15 commented
                              Editing a comment
                              Hi there,

                              We are glad you reached out to us, it sounds like you are going through a lot right now with your parents and with being bullied at school. You don’t deserve to be hurt or abused by your parents in any way, and no one deserves to be bullied. We are here to answer your questions the best we can. You asked what the consequences are for running away, and while we are not legal experts, we can speak generally on your situation. Generally speaking, you do have to be 18 to leave home without your parents permission. If you do leave, your parents can file what is called a runaway report with the local police. Running away is a status offence meaning it is illegal to do because of your age but you cannot be arrested or charged. One thing to keep in mind is whoever you are staying with could be arrested and charged for what is called “harboring a runaway”, and the police would return you home. Running away can be a hard decision to make, and we’d like to give you some questions to help you in making sure your plan is safe:

                              • Do I have a place to stay?
                              • What about school? Would I continue to get an education?
                              • What would I do for money? Shelter? Food? Transportation?
                              • Who can I depend on if I leave home?
                              • Do I have a safe, solid plan?
                              • What is my plan b in case my first plan doesn’t work?
                              • Who have I reached out to make things better at home?

                              We are here to support you, and we’d like to give you a resource called Child Help USA. They are an information and support hotline for child abuse reporting, and they can answer any questions you have about child abuse, because again, no one deserves to be hurt or abused at home. You can reach Child Help USA 24/7 at 1-800-422-4453. Sometimes it can also be helpful to reach out to someone at school, like a social worker or guidance counselor, or any adult you trust. We are also available 24/7 to talk more in depth about your situation at 1-800-786-2929 and you can remain confidential.

                              Best,
                              ~NRS
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