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16 Year Old wants to move out/emancipation in New York State

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello I’m 15 about to be 16 soon and my parents are really neglectful to me. They feed me and they buy me stuff, but their not there for emotional support and they act really toxic when I have an opinion on something, but overall they’re toxic about everything. They have given me dirty remarks when I tell them something funny or anything of the like. One time I was laughing at a video my friend sent me of me laughing at my other friends and my dad was playing a video game and he asked me oh what are you laughing at, it sounded like he was trying to be funny when he was asking me that, but then I said oh I’m laughing at my laugh, it’s sounds really stupid and obnoxious and it makes me happy hearing me laugh like that since I don’t laugh genuinely a lot. He answered with the snarky remark of I’ve never heard anyone laugh at the own laugh before. The way he said that made me shut down, I stopped laughing and I went quiet all together and then I said well I was laughing at my friends to since their really funny and they make me happy. After I said that he ignored me and continued playing his game. Over the years of me living with my parents they’ve made me become emotionally, mentally, and socially stunted. In a lot of cases I don’t know how to act, I can be annoying, up close and personal too much with my friends and I feel terrible about it. I never get showen love and attention at my house, It’s like I’m not aloud to be upset, I can’t show everyone I love them, I try hard to I make them cards since I draw, I draw them stuff all the time to try and show how much I love them. I try asking to do stuff with them but they ignore me. I’ve gotten told multiple times to be quite because it wasn’t convenient for them to talk to me. I can say I’m grateful to not be abused physically, but they have socially, and especially emotionally and mentally. I’ve been messed up greatly by everything that they’ve told me and it hurts all the time. It’s caused me to have bad anxiety and depression, and neither of them understand when I try to speak to them. They either ignore me, give me quick answers, or tell me I shouldn’t be feeling like this because I'm too young. When I was about 4 years old give or take my birth mother left me because she didn’t want to take care of me and left me with my dad. He was there but at the same time he wasn’t, I was mostly raised by my grandmother and aunt, I found out later that when she left me when I turned about 5 or 6 she got pregnant and moved to another state. After sometime passed when I was 13 I met my mother when I was with two of my friends, one is now my current boyfriend who my parents do not like bc I was gone all the time, they kept telling me he was changing me making me into a bad person. All of the people that knew me at the time saw how happy I was, I was bright, bubbly, and energetic, I wanted to go out places and explore everywhere. When I turned 14 some conflicts happened and my dad got a restraining order from me to my boyfriend so we would have to break up, but then I turned 16 an we got back together without my parents knowledge, until I told my step mother who was very upset since neither of my parents like him. She gave me a lecture about how he’s not a good person and how I should want someone that’s clean. Ay first I didn’t understand what she meant but I understood really quick with what she meant. She was complying that my boyfriend had slept with 1 girl 3 years ago and she kept saying well when you sleep with him and nd he breaks up with you bc your not special anymore no guys gonna want a girl that’s been around the block. I want to try and move in with my cousin and her grandma by the end of May or early June so I’ll be 16, and I can try and move in but my parents won’t give consent to that I can tell you that much. I would love some help to get out of this household as soon as possible so please and thank you for the help.

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to listen and support you. It sounds like you are going through a frustrating time in your life right now. You could consider talking to your grandparents and your mother of how you are feeling. At NRS we offer conference calling, where if you call us we can call out to your mother or grandparents. Conference calling can help you be heard and can also help mediate the conversation, so the conversation is productive. Another option could be talking to your school counselor about what is going on, sometimes talking to a professional can help us feel better.
    You mentioned wanting to runaway once you turn 16 years old. We are not legal experts but we do have general information on the laws. If you were to runaway, your mother has the right to file a runaway report. If the police found you they most likely would bring you back home. You could try and file emancipation. Emancipation could take 6 months to a year, it is a different process in each state. If you would like to learn more about emancipation, you could call your local court office or you can call us. If you do decide to runaway, your safety is our top concern. You may want to consider how you would get to your grandparents, and the consequences of getting caught.
    We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 15 and I lived with my grandparents my ENTIRE life. My grandparents never took custody of me because my mother willingly let them keep me. Recently she decided she want me back and she took me from my grandparents. I’m planning on running away and going back to them when I turn 16 in five months. Is there anything legally I can do since my grandparents raised me?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi. Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing part of your story with us. It sounds like you’re going through a difficult situation. Unhappy home lives can become overwhelming as you mentioned and it’s understandable that you would want to leave. It might be worth a try to possibly ask your nana and papa if they can help communicate to your parents that you both feel you would be happier living with them for a while. If you do decide to run away instead it may be important to know that in most states you must be at least 18 years old in order to leave home without permission. Therefore, if you do decide to leave please note that your parents have the right to file a runaway report. If a runaway report is filed and you are found you may be required to return back home. If you are need of any resources to shelters, counseling, etc please feel free to contact us via phone at 1800-runaway or come chat at 1800runaway.org. All the best, NRS.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 16 and im not happy at my home anymore and i have this overwhelming urge to find a way to leave but i cant bc my dad is to controlling and wont let me live with my nana and papa i cant do it anymore the only thing i can do now is
    run away

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’ve been going through an incredibly difficult time and I’m sorry to hear you feel unsafe. No one deserves to be abused or mistreated, especially not by the people who are supposed to take care of them. We’re sorry to hear that your parents reacted the way that they did. It’s usually helpful to tell somebody about these things, so it’s great that you’re continuing to ask for help.

    As you’ve already stated, both your father and grandfather’s actions constitute abuse. We know you’ve told someone at school about what’s happened, but you also have the right to file an abuse report if you choose. Your father has no right to stop you from telling anyone. Your well-being is the utmost priority. If you want any help with this, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453, RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) at 1-800-656-4673 or our crisis hotline at 1-800-786-2929. Someone will be more than happy to listen and help you through the process.

    In the meantime, the most important thing is your safety. It’s great to hear that you have family you can stay with who will support you. If they are willing to help, it might be worth coming up with a plan with them to ensure your safety. If you would like any help with that, again, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We also offer a chat service at 1800runaway.org if you’d rather not talk on the phone.

    Thanks again for reaching out. We hope to hear from you soon.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am turning sixteen in 26 days and my grandpa has giving me and multiple people alcohol and other illegal drugs and i don't feel safe at my own home because when i told my school about this my parents found out and are very upset with me and want to abuse me. my grandpa has also gotten me to the point were i was intoxicated and he tried to touch my penis. i was adopted by them and since it is my adopted dads father he is upset with me and verbally abuses me for trying to tell the right people. I have been looking in to getting emancipated and i am gonna be getting a job and i have a family i can stay with that can help give me support so i was wondering what your thoughts are.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there thank you so much for reaching out to us here at NRS. It takes a lot of bravery and strength to share what has been going on and reaching out is a great first step. We appreciate you reaching out and we are here to listen. We are going to talk about a few things and if you feel comfortable reaching out again we are here 24/7 over the phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or on our online chat system at 1800runaway.org.
    You do not deserve to be abused physically or verbally at all and it is not okay to be treated that way. It is not fair no matter what. We know you mentioned not wanting to involve the police but if you do want to think about reporting what is going on at home you do have the right to do so If you do want to explore filing an abuse report, we can talk about that. If you want to explore making an abuse report or talking about Child Protective Services, Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource. They can answer any questions you have and help you look into reporting if that is something you want to pursue. We are also here too to talk about what it could mean to report and what it may look like, and since we are mandated reporters if you tell us identifying factors (your name, your aunt's name, your address, etc.) we would have to pass along what you told us to CPS on your behalf, but if those factors aren’t told to us we can talk confidentially as we are right now. You can also talk to other mandated reporters like a teacher/guidance counselor at school if you want to report as well. There are many outcomes to what can happen with CPS reporting like mandated counselling/therapy, living with a relative or someone you have lived with before, and sometimes placement outside of family can occur. CPS does truly care about you and tries to keep your interest in mind and keep families together and of course we are always here to listen about what you think may work best for you.
    Your safety is a top priority and we are also always here for you to talk to. If you do feel like you are unsafe with your parents or at home, you can always call 911 too. We truly care about you and you do not have to hesitate to call or chat with us as well if you feel comfortable. If you do decide you need to leave home to stay safe that is always an option we can talk about with safety planning. It sounds like you have a great support system with your friend and their mom. We aren’t legal experts but if you do leave home your mom may file something called a runaway report. This just entails her calling the non-emergency police and letting them know you have left home and any information she can provide about where you are. Leaving home is not illegal per say but a status offense like breaking curfew. This would mean you would just be brought back home and not arrested (unless you are on probation or have habitually ran away which may change things depending on the police department). You do have the right to tell the police about what has been going on at home and they would not want to bring you somewhere you feel unsafe and may investigate themselves or reach out to CPS. Again, we can always safety plan if you do feel like you want to leave home so don’t hesitate to reach out again.
    We are here 24/7 and we can talk further about these things or brainstorm other plans if you feel they may not work for you. We truly care about you and it takes a lot of courage to talk about what has been going on. We hope to hear from you soon!
    Best, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, I am in need of desperate advice. I am 15, turning 16 in a few months, and I live in the United States, NY. My parents are very strict and religious, and have recently found out that I have a girlfriend. I was aggressively abused by my parents both verbally and physically, very aggressively, and I know they will always harass me because of this situation; they continue to threaten me if I am caught again. I have always felt uncomfortable in this household, but now I am even more uncomfortable and scared. My mom said she doesnt want me as her son anymore and told me to leave multiple times. I have no problem in doing so. My parents also fight most of the time and recently it has been pretty bad, with pretty bad nosebleeds involved. I do not feel comfortable or safe here. I am also a student, so I try coming home and doing my work but I can never focus because I'm uncomfortable and scared. I am emotionally unstable and I go crazy when I live here. I want to leave as soon as possible. It would be great if I could be emancipated and I am wondering if I can be. I spoke with my friend and she said her mom has no problem with housing me. I also plan to get a job very soon to financially support myself, especially since my parents took my phone and laptop which I need for school. Am I allowed to just leave and live in my friends house? I would still be going to school everyday, but I am also worried that my parents might call the school or go to the school to get me again. I really do not want to live here anymore. At times I feel my mom being slightly worried about me and she wants to make sure I am okay, but I simply do not want to live here anymore. I cannot focus on my school work and with all the fighting and the way my parents view me now and all the abuse I have been put through, I am very uncomfortable here. She has told me multiple times to leave the house, and I very much want to. I could have housing and earn money. I just do not want to come back. While being this uncomfortable around my parents and this house, I do not want to call police on them or get them in trouble because they are still my parents and I do not want to hurt them. Also they would be very mad at me if I did that and I would be more scared. I am in need of advice and information. My mom told me to leave and I want to. I have housing available. I will have a source of income soon. I do not want to come back here and I do not want my parents calling the school or police to bring me back. Please help.
    Last edited by ccsmod2; 01-02-2019, 09:10 PM.

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  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

    Sounds like you are planning on moving out at 16. The easiest way to move out at 16 is with parental permission, and that is still allowed out of state. If you are looking to go through the court emancipation process to become a legal adult before you turn 18, it is also possible to move out of state. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if that is your situation and you would like to talk about New York's emancipation laws.

    18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian in New York. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

    Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you need additional support. We are here 24/7.

    Best,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hey I'm 15 and planning on moving out when i become 16 but i want to move outside of New York does this change anything

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello-
    Thanks for reaching out to NRS we understand it can be a difficult time right now and commend you for reaching out and seeking help. Our goal is to inform you as best we can about what your options are.
    Although we are not legal experts, what we can say is that if your daughter is 16 she is still considered a minor and therefore you have every right to call the authorities and file a runaway report. What this does is if the cops run into her or you know where she might be, the cops will take her back home to you. If she decides to live with her boyfriend and you have made a runaway report, technically he and his family might face charges of harboring a minor. Just some things to keep in mind. Again as far you giving her permission is up to you if you do not consent then what ever she chooses to do has consequences as a result. Some options she might have are to call us and we can have a conference call to talk about what has been going on. She could also reach out to school personal or even a trusted family member.
    Again we want to thank you for contacting us in your time of need. We know that at times like these it can be hard to feel like there is a way out. We hope that the options provided for you were enough to help you make an informed decision. If for any reason you have more questions or concerns you can call us at (1-800-786-2929) or use our chat option online at (www.1800runaway.org).
    Best Wishes - NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Need help with a runaway 16 year old daughter. She want me to sign paper to drop school and also she said she made her decision to live with the boyfriend. She also want me not to bother her. She doesn't want to be home.

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thank you for contacting us. We're not legal experts, but if you left your parent or legal guardian's home, they have the opportunity to file a runaway report with the police, which could compel them to find and return you home. And if you leave home and stay with someone else (e.g. your boyfriend and his family), they could be charged with harboring a runaway if you're found.

    It's important to note that the age of majority (i.e. adulthood) varies state-by-state, and in the state of New York it appears it's 18 years old. As an alternative, you can pursue emancipation, which New York allows as early as 16 years of age. Emancipation involves convincing a court of law that you're capable of living independently and taking care of yourself, and that process can take some time and is not guaranteed. If you're considering this path and would like more information, you can visit the Legal Services Corporation's website at www.lsc.gov and, in the top right corner of the webpage click on "Find Legal Aid" and type in your city/state or zip code in order to find a local legal organization that you can reach out to for advice on family legal issues, including emancipation. Typically, emancipation is granted when a youth is able to prove that they are living separately from their parents, not relying on them for living expenses, and able to manage their own financial affairs, among other things.

    If you're experiencing abuse at home, you can also call Child Help at 800-422-4453 or visit www.childhelp.org.

    Additionally, you can call us anytime if you'd like to discuss your situation and/or these options further. Our phone number is 800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 and currently my mom has custody over me. She is extremely controlling and won't let me have anything to do with my boyfriend or his family. I want to move in with my boyfriend and his family as soon as possible. My boyfriend is 19 and living with his mom and dad for the time being until we can get an apartment together. What can I do in my situation to be able to move out of my house and with my boyfriend and his family?

    Leave a comment:

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