16 Year Old wants to move out/emancipation in New York State

Im turning 17 next month and I left my mothers house and as a precaution so that she couldn’t have the cops force me back there. Now they’re not letting me stay with friends so that I can finish my tests and making me stay with my grandfather which is worse if not just as bad. Now I’m trying to move in with my boyfriend and now they’re telling me to go to family court and everything but my mom doesn’t want me to be with her so now I want to try to close the case and then just move in with my boyfriend and his mom.

I have a friend who is about to turn 16, she is in a very stressful situation at home with her parents who don’t let her go anywhere, do anything, and yell/ scream at her everyday. When I am at her house I get yelled at as well and get told we are both sneaky and very untrustworthy when neither of us have done anything to be sneaky or untrustworthy about, they don’t allow her to come to my house because they think we will find trouble. We are both very good young adults and my parents trust us 100%. When she turns 16 would she be aloud to leave home and stay with us. We both live in the same school district in NY.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. Leaving home is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your parents (or legal guardian) can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor (under the age of 1. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned to your parents/guardians.

Unfortunately, we can’t give you any legal advice as we are not legal experts. Emancipation is an option in some states but there are certain rules and qualifications about who can and cannot be emancipated. Emancipation can often be a lengthy and expensive process. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

I'm 16 gonna be 17th in December. I have a one year old son and I'm with my childs father. Can I go into a shelter or I have to be emancipated?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out to us and sharing a little bit about what's going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It can be really hard living in a home where you are uncomfortable. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you and your sister do opt to leave your home your parents can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you two are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned to your parents.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

I'm 14 and I can't stand living with , my parents anymore, my sister is13 and we want to move out together, because we just can't stand it, can we live on our own in New York state? Is it possible?

[ccsmod7]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are experiencing emotional abuse at home, and are not accepted by your parents. That seems incredibly hard to deal with, and it's clear that is has really taken a toll on you. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

So in NY the legal age you can leave home without permission without the risk of being filed as a runaway is 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent's permission. It sounds like you have already tried that though and they said no, that must be frustrating The second way is through ACS if safety is a concern. Verbal abuse is not okay and you still have the right to report it, generally, especially without evidence, it can be hard to make the case that verbal abuse is dangerous enough to remove you. However, ACS can still intervene with family services. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

You mentioned being in NY. If you do leave, know that there are resources there (including LGBTQ affirming ones) if you need to get to a safe place. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org for those resources. You might also reach out to the Trevor Project at 1-877-565-8860 or www.thetrevorproject.org if you are interested in talking to an LGBTW mental health focused hotline. Please know that you are never alone.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you need. Good luck with everything,

NRS

Hello. I am 15 and almost 16 and I can’t stand living at home w my parents anymore. I live in NY, NY and I have dealt w repeated berating and yelled at by both parents about how I am practically useless. I am transgender and both parents repeatedly express their disapproval of me because of it. My father has even gone as far as calling me slurs on repeated occasions. My mom has also been getting worse w the yelling but not as bad as my dad. A couple of years ago, ACS came because my dad had hit me after I came out to him but after finding out it never happened again, they never officially opened a case. Since then, both my parents have been weary about being reported again and constantly being up how I could have potentially “ruined the family”. My father has never laid a hand on me after the ACS workers came but still calls me names.

I was wondering if there is anything I can do once I turn 16 in terms of leaving this house for good? My parents know that their words are causing me emotional stress but yet they still seem to berate me. I’ve been diagnosed w depression and they take me to a therapist and psychiatrist. The stress I endure at home is too much for me to handle and has become overwhelming. My friend’s mother has offered to take me in and I would live w them but my parents refused. She said the offer still stands if I was to get out of the house in some way. Is there anything I can do to get out once I turn 16???

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

I'm 16 years old, 17 this November, and I've been raised in a strict, Muslim home. I was perfectly fine with all the rules and I cooperated with the family expectations for a long time. After reaching this age and being exposed to the real world a bit more, I no longer have the same beliefs. My parents assumed that I've had sex and that I only want attention from boys. There were times where I was physically abused and it has traumatized me. I don't want to deal with the police or any Child Protective Services because I've tried that, and the results did not aid me. I don't have a phone to use to get myself mental help, and my mom will not allow me to get help no matter what I try. I've talked to family friends and they've suggested getting help to my mom. My school counselor even sent my mom some information on different psychiatrists and therapists but my mom says that there are many people around the world dealing with the same things. My mom says if I want to leave the house then she won't stop me, and I'm ready to leave no matter what. But I don't want my family taking some sort of legal action to bring me back. I have a plan sorted out so that I can live my life in a way which is healthy for me mentally. My mental health has been exhausted while living here and I want out.

[ccsmod3]

Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you are dealing with a frustrating situation with your family considering moving out of state.
With your parents’ permission, you can live anywhere. If you have friends or family that are staying in the area that your parents would give you permission to live with, you may want to try to arrange something.
If your parents don’t give permission and you decide to stay somewhere, you would be considered a runaway. We are not legal experts but how this typically works is that it’s a status offense, not a crime. If law enforcement found you they could return you to your parents’ home.
Even as a runaway, you would be allowed to go to school. If you have questions about that you can contact the National Center for Homeless Educational Helpline at 1-800-308-2145 (nche.ed.gov).
Thanks again for reaching out to us when you are facing this big decision. If you have any questions or would want to talk to someone in person, please call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY or start a digital chat at 1800runaway.org. We are here to help anytime 24/7.

Hi I’m 16 turn 17 in June my family wants to move to ct but my credit will get messed up in the process. Making me work harder to graduate. So I was wondering what I can do I order to stay in ny and finish high school.

[ccsmod16]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can.

We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally, if your father has custody of you, you should not be able to be forced to live somewhere else. Also, generally, emancipation is not an automatic thing, it can be a long and potentially expensive legal process. Just so you know, we have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state. You could also consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies.

There are also many resources that could help you find a safe place if you’re in need or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

You mentioned some potential struggles with mental health concerns. If you want further information about mental health resources, you could check out the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA); 1-877-726-4727; samhsa.gov; findtreatment.samhsa.gov/.

If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. You could also consider talking to your parents about how you’ve been feeling. Just so you’re aware, we have a conference calling service here where we could help mediate a conversation between you and your parents.

Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

I’m 17 going on 18 in three months. I was currently living with my boyfriend for three weeks due to an argument with my dad, who has placement and custody of me. My mom found out and threatened him with court so he called the cops and I was forced to come home. Now to my understand you are emancipated when you leave the house, have a job, and can manage your income. So why was I forced to come home and put my mental health at risk.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Thank you for sharing a little bit of your story, we appreciate you sharing that with us. It seems like you have been going through a lot in the last couple of years. We are happy that you have friends that make you genuinely happy and that make you laugh It sounds frustrating how your dad reacted when you told him the reason you were laughing. One option could be to talk with your dad about how that makes you feel. At NRS we offer conference calling where if you call us we can call out to your father. Conference calling allows you to be heard and we are there to mediate the conversation and provide support to you. It also seems like you have been dealing with a lot of emotions that can sometimes be difficult to deal with alone. One option you may want to consider is talking to a school counselor or therapist about how you are feeling, sometimes talking to a professional can help us feel better. Also sometimes a professional can provide us with resources that we may have not thought about on our own. If talking to someone in person is not an option you can contact NAMI (National alliance for mental health). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
You mentioned wanting to get out of your household as soon as possible. We are not legal experts but we can do our best to help you. Because you are a minor if you were to leave home without permission you could be considered as a runaway. If the police were to find you they would most likely bring you back home. You could try and file for emancipation, the process of emancipation is different in each state. To find out about emancipation you can call your local court office or you can call us and we can provide some legal aid numbers over the phone. Keep in mind emancipation can be costly and can take 6 months to a year to complete.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to talk more about your options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide you with support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS